I don’t watch very many reality shows, so I am a little unfamiliar with the folks in this story, but it hits a little close to home, so I still want to discuss it. Jamie Otis, who appeared on both The Bachelor and Married at First Sight, posted this photo to Instagram Sunday night:
They are sweet pics, even without context. But it’s the caption that I wanted to talk about. Jamie and her husband, Doug Hehner, had to rehome their rescue dog, Foxy, when she showed signs of food aggression. Jamie became worried that Foxy would hurt her toddler, Henley:
This was the hardest thing I’ve had to do in a long time…💔
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3 years ago we began fostering our pup, Foxy. She was found by a dumpster in LA scrapping for food. She was hobbling around on a broken leg.😰 She was going to be euthanized bc the cost to fix her leg and then feed her/vaccinate/etc just was too much I guess.🤷🏻♀️
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Thankfully the rescue company I adopted our first dog, Lady, from asked us if we’d be willing to foster Foxy until they found her a home. …Let’s just say, we went to pick her up and it was LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.😍 {Unlike with my hubby.🤣 lol.} I BEGGED @doughehner to keep her.🙏🏻
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She has been with me through some of the hardest times in life. When I lost my first born son, Johnathan, Foxy was there to constantly cuddle me and lick away the tears.🙏🏻 She has been the sweetest, most loving pup. She loves to play & snuggle …unless there’s food around.😬
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When there’s human food around she kinda stares you down like she’s about to put her fighting gloves on & go to war to get that food at whatever cost. Her whole disposition changes.😐
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I thought it was trainable (and maybe it could be if I had more time or worked harder at it). I thought we could just separate Foxy from @henelygracehehner when food was out (which we were able to do for the longest time). But now Gracie is big enough to get into cupboards and grab snacks, she can get down from the table with her chicken nuggets in hand to go play.
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My biggest fear as Gracie gets older is that one day I’ll turn my back while Gracie has food in her hand and Foxy goes to get the food and bites her…she has bit Doug in the past and she growls and snarls at me occasionally.😰 I would never forgive myself if an accident were to happen with Gracie and Foxy. And it’d be 100% my fault bc I’ve known Foxy has had this issue.
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I have held off as long as I could bc I *adore* this pup, but it’d be irresponsible of me to naively hope for the best when I know Foxy has food aggression and Henley is at an age now where she walks around with food.
In addition to everything written above, Henley is a rainbow baby (a live birth after a miscarriage). Jonathan, to whom Jamie refers in the post, was lost to miscarriage at 17 weeks. These decisions are heartbreaking. Ultimately, a person wants a safe environment for everyone involved and sometimes you can’t foresee problems that come with the introduction of new people in the household. We’ve discussed before that kids see dog bowls as their personal buffet, I’m almost certain the scenario Jamie proposed, in which Henley gets bit, would happen. I adore my rescue dogs as much as they adore me, but I bear a permanent scar from being bit. I broke up a fight between them over a treat and the male went for my leg. I’m sure I did not do the correct measures in that scenario, but the point is, I never would’ve believed one would bite me unless I was attacking another family member.* I’ve seen some other milder aggression triggers, but my kids are older so I can tell them not to do A or B. Henley is 23 months, telling her not to grab things, especially food, won’t work yet.
As for the lady Jaime found for Foxy, her name is Betty and she just had a hip replacement. Betty doesn’t have much family nearby and was looking for a companion. Apparently, it was love at first sight for the two. I’m delighted, it sounds like a perfect match and Betty has told Jamie they can visit Foxy whenever they want, which will also help the transition. I’ll bet this was gutting for the family. I’d rehome a pet if it posed a threat, but I’d never get over it. But the pet isn’t going to want to live with more and more restrictions and punishments either. Foxy’s quality of life will be much better with Betty.
*True story – I wore shorts when the bruising was still visible and he would come up and lick the bruises whenever he saw them with an expression that looked like he was saying, “I’m so sorry.”
Photo credit: Instagram and Getty Images
Glad she was able to find a solution that worked for everyone.
I have never heard of this person, but absolutely the right decision was made, and she went about it in the most responsible and loving way possible.
It is very difficult to deal with a dog that has food aggression. She made the rights choice in rehoming the dog. It would be guaranteed that the dog would have bitten the toddler.
Good decision. I don’t get people who guilt others who have to do this. I love my dogs but my children come first.
Yep, I only have pets and consider them my babies but a human baby’s safety should always come first. She did the right thing and no one should make her feel guilty. She found Foxy a good home instead of dumping him at a shelter. Her little girl is a doll baby. I like their matching swimsuits!
I don’t understand it either. It’s not just for the humans, it’s also to give the dog a better life. If I dog bites someone and they go to get treated for it (which you should always do!), it has to be reported and there are consequences for the dog when that happens. She made the right call and did everything right. Found the dog a loving new home, made sure the new owner could handle it and take care of the dog.
Yes at Hello,I believe very serious consequences for the animal that did the biting-I don’t know all the laws in my state regarding these situations,but in most cases the dog is put down without much the owner can do,even if it was rough play or the dog accidentally bit because it was startled.We Always cautioned our daughter to never put her face in our doggie’s face, because even though they would mutually play,if a dog bite is serious enough that medical care ex:stitches -would be needed the dog warden is notified and that can lead to heartbreak all around.
Yes. This !
I actually warmed up a lot to Jamie Otis earlier this summer when she wrote an essay about her previous abortions and her pro abortion views.
https://people.com/health/jamie-otis-shares-abortion-story-necessary-option/
My mother’s dog, that she had when she was pregnant with me and when I was a baby, apparently HATED me with a passion. She would try to push me off my mother’s lap, push my little baby seat away from the group, snatch things out of my hands, and chew up my toys. I don’t know how my mother kept her away from me (or me from her), but she managed to keep Coco until she passed away when I was about 4. I have a few memories of Coco, and of leaving her alone.
I`m like ………..what are we discussing here in the first place?
Should she continue keeping her small child in danger to pacify animal lovers? If the dog is not right for your situation, move them to a new, more suitable home. End of discussion.
Why are people supposed to be choosing between their pets and their children? The wellbeing of your own children should always come before pets. End of discussion.
P.S. And no, your newborn is not your dog`s sister or brother.
I went into this Comments section bracing myself for what I assumed would be outrage from animal lovers castigating this woman for giving up the dog. I am pleasantly surprised that once again the Celebitchy commentariat is reasonable, empathic, and kind in regards to this sad story. My beloved cat bit my baby daughter so badly she nearly required stitches. I re-homed the cat. I miss my cat terribly but my child comes first.
Yeah, i was worried too because I had to give my beloved Australian shepherd to my dad. She chased down and bit a child, but it was very clear that it was her herding instinct and not an aggressive act. As soon as the kid stopped running, she came back looking very proud of herself. Our own child was 2 at the time. We were able to keep our other aussie that didn’t have such a strong herding instinct, though he’s been no walk in the park. He’s only really started showing affection and trust towards our kids in the last year. It’s very difficult to know what life will bring. Our dogs were brother and sister and 7 years old when we had our first child. We thought we had socialized them pretty well. It didn’t matter, they’re still dogs. I think I saved Fancy’s life by giving her to my dad.
I had a beautiful collie who helped me through depression and self inflicted isolation after my first marriage exploded. But, after my granddaughter was born he would growl at her. One day as he walked by her baby-chair she reached out to touch him, he turned and snapped at her. I gave him to a colleague and to my disappointment she gave him away without telling me. She later told me he would continuously jump the fence and run away. I still feel guilty after all these years because I believe he was trying to come home. But I know I would felt worse if he would have bitten my granddaughter.
Same guys,when I was pregnant with our daughter our dog protected me by lying at the threshold of every room I was in,and when my husband got up for work…boom the dog was immediately at the foot of our bed until I got up.When she was born he became increasingly aggressive toward men(went after my husbands friends,the water meter guy,and someone else who was over to do work at my home.People were spared injury fortunately,but we could see him becoming increasingly protective and eager to attack (or try to )attack people who he deemed dangerous to me and baby.He charged through closed doors,broke off of leashes,everything we did wasn’t enough or was too hard on the dog.We loved the dog,but considered that his behavior could get more aggressive and that when she was older that he may turn aggressive toward her.It was a sad and difficult thing to do,but we had to find a new owner for him,I still feel sad,but know we are all (dog included)in a better situation.
she made the right decision for her daughter and her dog. obviously her child’s safety is paramount but also – her dog was communicating that it was stressed. some pets aren’t made to enjoy children and it isn’t fair to make them endure toddlers if their temperament isn’t suited to the noise, business and necessary boundaries. her dog and her daughter will both be happier and it is a very unselfish choice to give up a pet you love in this scenario.
I was involved in dog rescue for a very long time before I had kids. We fostered many dogs and all was well. One night one of my fosters attacked me by grabbing my face and shaking. I am left with four large scars, one of which is millimeters from my eyeball. As heartbreaking as it was to be attacked by the animal I vowed to save, I knew I had to stop rescuing while my kids were young. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if one of them was injured or mauled. The rescue, horrified by my experience (they felt terrible that I was injured, especially by a dog that showed no prior aggression), supported my choice. In the end, rescuing animals is really hard sometimes, because so many of those animals have issues, developed as coping mechanisms to their former way of life. I honor a parent who puts her/his child’s safety first when there is an issue.
Agree
Oh Noodle. This must have been so hard for u. That is so traumatising giving ur heart like that and then being attacked. I was attacked by a cat in the face by the eye as well. I have 2 scars but very small and hard to notice. U sound like u fared worse. Beleive it or not I was also attacked by a crow but that is another story. 😛
Thank you for your kind words. It sounds like the cow attack has a story behind it!
It is traumatizing when you are attacked by an animal you are trying to save. In my case, it wasn’t personal; the dog was in pain from eating a shattered Pyrex dish of cinnamon rolls he nudged off the counter earlier in the day, and this was his pain response. The hard part was that I was so angry and in so much pain, and he kept wanting to come comfort me. I didn’t want him anywhere near me, but he kept crying and barking. The rescue opted NOT to euthanize him and put him in a home with adults only who were familiar with his background. They had him until his death a few years ago, and he never had another episode.
The reality is that rescuing animals is really hard. We glorify it and celebrate when it works (so many adorable pictures of Patrick Stewart and his pit bull!), but a lot of those rescues have issues. Every rescue I have ever brought home has had some sort of issue; some are trainable, and some are not. But, it’s not responsible to have an animal with food issues in the same house as a baby/toddler. Yes, you can re-train some of those behaviors, but if the dog ever bit that baby, the mom would be at fault and we would crucify her. It’s a terribly difficult decision.
Sounds like she did this in a loving way for the animal. Vs Ana Feris and Chris Pratt who gave one cat away on twitter and ditched their senior rescue dog in the street.
I’m happy that she went about re-homing her dog in a loving way – many people do not show their supposed beloved animals this respect and throw them out or abandon them.
Yes she took her own heartbreak and focused on protecting her child AND made some one else very happy.I hope this will be a smooth and happy transition for all involved ❤️🐶🐶
I’m so glad to see all the comments about how she made the right decision. I recently rescued a dog and it would growl and snap completely unexpectedly even after he let people pet him and at one point completely unprovoked growled and snapped at my mom and he bit my hand during play but it wasn’t a nip he bit down twice hard and broke skin. I talked with trainers about what to do and they stated returning him to the rescue society for further behavioral evaluation and possible rehoming was the best choice because training and living with him would be very isolating. I live in an apartment in a busy city so there’s no way I could have isolated him completely and that also means I couldn’t have people over that would have included my family, I also have young nieces and nephews that are right at his mouth level. The thing that gets me kind of pissed about the situation is that a vet report had listed him as unpredictable and that wasn’t shared with me prior to adoption. I took him home with the best of intentions and wanted to give him a good loving home. I’m still really sad about the whole situation and I understand how upset she is because it was a really hard, sad decision and I cried and agonized over it and I’m still down about it.
@Laura, I am so sorry you had this experience. The rescue absolutely should have shared that information with you before placing the dog. People who adopt rescues do so because they want to help the unwanted, and when crucial information is withheld, it makes for a dangerous, and in your care, heartbreaking, situation. Thank you for consulting with a trainer (rather than returning him at the first sign of trouble), and for taking on the challenge in the first place. Animal rescue is one of the most heartbreaking endeavors with which I have been involved.
She did the right thing, not only for her baby, but for her dog. If he had bit a kid he would’ve probably been put down, and so she saved the dog’s life twice now.
@Isa, very good point. I had a friend whose dog bit a child in their backyard, and the family called animal control. My friend was heartbroken knowing that the dog going away with AC meant she was signing his death sentence. There was no other choice (he was adopted from a shelter, not a rescue), but the agony was still so painful.
Why would anyone be upset with this? She did exactly the right thing, for the dog and for her family, and found someone well suited to care for the pup. I wish more people were like this, doing the work to solve the problem, rather than just dumping the poor animal at a shelter or rescue.
But…does her toddler have her own instagram handle?
Dobby was our cocker spaniel, and lived up to his name. We got him as a puppy, and he grew with my boys for 7 years. He was my shadow, he had soft red fur and gave hugs. He sighed constantly lol. When he began showing signs of food aggression, we tried to train him, but then he turned to toy possession, and he wanted my sons Blankie. When my 8 year old reached for his blankie and Dobby growled, my husband immediately got between my son and Dobby. My sweet, loyal, shadow dog that LOVED his family could not control himself and attacked my husband. Dobby was re homed within a week to a home with no children, responsibly through a rescue mission – we were VERY vigilant about where he would go. It was heartbreaking, and the vitriol released by the pet community when I was looking for help was instant and dis compassionate. Alot of “would you give away your children” talk. If my children bit people, yeah, i’d probably have to lock him up. I think of Dobby every day, and still agonize over whether I made the right decision and if he’s happy and loved. I’ll never get over it, but kids come first.
I’m heavily involved in animal rescue and I LOVE dogs. She did the 100% correct thing. She wasn’t rehoming because she moved and it was too big a pain to bring the dog. She wasn’t rehoming because the dog was an inconvenience. She was rehoming to give the dog a chance and to make sure that her child didn’t get attacked due to a known issue with the dog. She did it the right way. She didn’t dump the dog, try to get rid of it on Craigslist, etc. She sought out a proper and appropriate home for the dog she adored. And it was clear that it broke her heart. Kids come first. This dog wasn’t an inconvenience, it was a potential danger.
When I was five, my dog bit me after i fed him and tried to pet him. He went all the way up to the elbow. I’m 39 and still have scars all over my right arm. They’re small and mostly unnoticeable now. She made the right decision for their family and Foxy looks happy with their new mom.
I am so happy she shared this story, so many people judge parents for rehoming. I also appreciate that she took the time to find a suitable owner, instead of advertising a Free Dog on Kijiji or Craigslist.
I had the most loving Pitt/Boxer, Adored my Son, Gentle and patient. Sadly he had Bone Cancer and we had to amputate his back leg. When he was in pain/on medication we had to keep my toddler and him separated. It was so hard. We didn’t rehome, because our situation was temporary (he lived an active normal life after recovery) but had he remained jumpy/stand offish we would have had to find him a home where he could live in peace.