Oprah on Gayle King: ‘A true friend can’t be jealous or want to take advantage’

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Gayle King is cresting her wave ever since she took the CBS This Morning job and aced the R. Kelly interview. It’s weird to me because I’ve heard her name for so long, it never occurred to me that it was only in connection to her best friend, Oprah Winfrey. But no longer, Gayle is at the top of her game and no one could be happier about that than The Grand O herself. So happy, in fact, that she wrote an entire article for O Magazine about how much she loves Gayle and is thrilled she’s shining so brightly.

Gayle adores all things news and pop culture. She reads multiple magazines and newspapers. Her bag is stuffed with articles she’s saved or tidbits she’s torn out to share with me. Her television is rarely off. She delights in devouring information that is culturally relevant. And she loves passing it along. The fact that she’s experiencing such recognition and success for doing what she’s always loved fills me with pride and joy.

I know for sure: It’s the same pride and joy she’s always felt for me.
I believe God put the two of us in each other’s path to do exactly what we’ve been doing since that night in Baltimore when I was 22 and she was 21. Listening. Listening. Talking. Listening. Laughing (a lot). Building dreams. Standing in the gap. Cheering. Being a shoulder to cry on. Supporting. Speaking the truth. Being the truth!

And the reason it’s worked all these years, without arguments or fallouts, is that we’ve always each been happy with our own lives.

Now that Gayle’s a shining star on CBS This Morning, people often ask her how she felt being in the shadow of my success. The truth is, she always felt not a shadow, but the light. We couldn’t have remained friends if she’d perceived it as a shadow. I would have sensed that, and I wouldn’t have been able to be as open.

A true friend can’t be jealous of you, or want to take advantage of you in any way.

[From O Magazine via People]

I was not one to buy into the whole #relationshipgoals thing – until now. I think if your best friend, especially when she’s American royalty, writes an ode to how awesome you are, you win, whether it was a competition or not. Oprah tells some stories in the article about their time together, like the first night they became friends. She also told a story about finding almost $500 in her coat pocket and offering it to Gayle just ‘cuz. Gayle turned it down, even though she could really use the cash, because she never wanted Oprah to think she was taking advantage of her. She also said that when Gayle was offered the CBS job, Gayle almost turned that down as well, because she was working at OWN, which was not doing great, and did not want it to be seen as, “even (Oprah’s) best friend was abandoning the “struggling network.”” Damn. That’s devotion. And equal devotion on Oprah’s part who insisted Gayle take the job.

I don’t consider myself the jealous type but I’m human. I left Facebook because I couldn’t compete with what my friends posted. But I do have a friend about whom I feel like Oprah described: I’m always thrilled with any measure of happiness or success she has and I never have to convince myself to feel this way. And I know she feels the same about me (although, in fairness, I think she feels that way about everyone, she’s just a pure light at her core). I’ve had some bad luck with my female best friends so I stopped using the term but maybe I should start again? I mean, I’d totally take $500 bucks off her if she held it out to me, but we’re pretty damn close.

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Photo credit: Oprah Magazine, WENN Photos and Getty Images

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22 Responses to “Oprah on Gayle King: ‘A true friend can’t be jealous or want to take advantage’”

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  1. Jadedone says:

    They are pretty cute, I love their friendship

  2. Ali says:

    Sometimes I find $5 in my pocket…

  3. MachineElf says:

    Oprah has had many blessings in her life, her friendship with Gayle being among the foremost. I recently broke up with my best friend. I always felt like my former best friend was happiest when I was struggling, but I assumed I was just misinterpreting the situation. When I finally got my life together… got married, bought a house and had my first child, she responded by insulting my home and starting a text relationship with my husband. I trusted them both so did not interfere. One day I saw her text pop up on his phone and it was saying how difficult it must be to be with me. Looked back on the chain and she had been undermining me for months. I don’t know if I will ever have a best friend again. If you do have a true friend who supports you and does not envy you, you are truly blessed because friendships like that are very rare.

    • Renee says:

      MachineElf, I’m sorry that happened to you. I can imagine you felt betrayed and devastated. Rightly so. I’ve had a similar experience, not the friend contacting my significant other, but not happy for events in my life. We were both single for a long time. I met a great guy I started dating (and still am) and she couldn’t handle it.

      It’s really hard when you’re older (not in school) to find a true friendship.

      • MachineElf says:

        Yes it is very hard to make new friends once you are out of school. Right now I have some “mom friends” but we have little in common other than our children.

    • Mignionette says:

      I am so sorry you went through this. That is unforgivable. Do you think she was maybe jealous of your family situation and wanted to undermine it so you would be dependent on her again ?

      • MachineElf says:

        Thank you for the support. She was jealous of the attention I was getting from my husband and wanted to compete with me for his attention. She was used to having guys fall over themselves for her. She admitted this to me later when she was apologizing. She still doesn’t understand why I wouldn’t “let it go”.

    • shocked and appalled says:

      Sorry to hear this. Sounds awful.

      I sure hope your husband had your back and was shutting the friend’s negativity down & not letting it go or encouraging it.

      • MachineElf says:

        Thank you very much. And no he wasn’t shutting her down and holds his own share of responsibility for what happened…. His excuse was that she had been my friend for so long and knew how close we were, so he assumed she wouldn’t speak about me like that if I wasn’t okay with it. Yeah it doesn’t really make sense to me. We have our own issues we are working through.

    • sa says:

      I’m sorry that happened to you, that’s terrible to be betrayed like that. I will never understand people that think anything positive for them will come from tearing down a friend. I commented below, I don’t think that jealousy is, by itself, always terrible. But it is obviously terrible when it prevents you from being happy for your friend’s happiness.

      For me, if I’m jealous of someone or something, I think about what changes I need to make to get whatever it is I want. Sometimes I make the changes, other times I realize I don’t want it enough to adjust my actions. Either way, it doesn’t help me to hurt someone else. To me, that’s where jealousy turns to unhealthy jealousy (and I do make a distinction between jealousy and unhealthy jealousy).

      • MachineElf says:

        Thank you for your support and I appreciate what you are saying in your comment about jealousy. I wonder if the distinction you are trying to make may be between the more traditional definitions of jealousy versus envy. Envy is jealousy + a need to destroy. Just jealously itself, if handled appropriately, is often just a good opportunity to re-examine our own lives.

    • sammiches says:

      Have you broken up with the husband as well? Because it sounds like he was happy to engage in that kind of conversation with your friend, considering he hadn’t told you about it. You deserve better.

      • MachineElf says:

        Thank you. I did consider breaking up with him. It is more difficult since we have a young child together. All I can say is that he is doing the work to earn forgiveness and now truly understands why what he did was so very wrong. My former best friend never wanted to admit fault. In fact, she tried to say I shared some of the blame even though I was completely ignorant of the content of their conversations. Tbh I still have some resentment towards my husband but I am in love with him, and as long as he keeps doing the work I am willing to keep trying. Marriage is hard.

  4. WhitePeopleAreEvil says:

    Oprah and Gayle are goals.

  5. sa says:

    I don’t think that jealous = taking advantage. But I also think there is a difference between jealousy and unhealthy jealousy. I have a friend who, at times, I’ve been jealous of some aspects of her career or her beautiful family, but that has never stopped me from being thrilled for her or begrudging her any of it.

    Just because I was a little jealous did not change that I knew she’d worked hard for what she had – and that she prioritized some things more than I did in order to get what she has. The most I’ve taken from her is that a few times I went out to dinner with her and her husband I didn’t argue when they said dinner was on them (when it was just me and her, we would split the bill).

    • Shirurusu says:

      Yep! I Can be a little bit jealous of my best friend as well sometimes because she has a great career while mine kind if stalled for a while, but I’m aware of it myself and would never do anything to harm/ undermine her. I know how hard she’s worked and I think she deserves the world, and we’ve always been supportive of each other. 🙂

      I’ve another friend though who I’ve almost broken up with now because she’s been so jealous of my looks – I’m blond with big boobs and it’s the body type she always wanted, even though she’s gorgeous. I got tired of apologizing for my genetics eventually and decided it was her issue, not mine. I don’t know how many times I had to listen to her complaining how unfair it was and bla bla. People like that are not happy for you when you get attention that’s for sure…

  6. JanetFerber says:

    I loved Gayle King in Melissa McCarthy’s movie, “The Boss.” She did a fabulous turn which I really enjoyed.

  7. Patty says:

    I love both of them! And Gayle is super accomplished in her own right.

  8. Whitespace says:

    I’m willing to bet good money these two, and Oprah and Stedman, aren’t what they seem to be to some.

  9. mash says:

    currently going thru this right now…. since i brought my house and met my husband 2-3 years ago i lost like 6-7 friends and the ones i do kinda have you can see the “REALLY HER ??? NOT ME?? HOW COME?” because i came from a single parent house hold, im darkskin, im an alpha female who hyper feminine, in a wildy unique and succesful career field, who wasnt raised in the church, and not a man-hating bitter betty……. its really something…like to see it in their eyes see it in their comments and correspondence.

    all i can say is God protect me and karma