Dickie Arbiter: Prince Harry has ‘got to decide what it is he wants to do’

England v South Africa - Rugby World Cup 2019 Final

Everyone has been yelling at me all week about the royals, but I’m fine with it. I’m blaming it all on Mercury Retrograde. It will all be different, I’m sure, on November 21. People will see that I’m trying to force them into looking at the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s moves in the long-term. If Harry and Meghan’s long-term goal is to move out of England, to disassociate themselves from the Windsors, to allow Prince William’s petty little games to work, then the Sussexes are doing a bang-up job. If Harry and Meghan intend to stay in England and fight and do what they came here to do, then they’re f–king it all up. I mean, I’m still a Sussex Stan. But they’re making some strategic errors and I don’t really get WHY. Does this mean that I’m suddenly a bitter old bitch like Dickie Arbiter? God, I hope not. Arbiter had to chime in on the Sussexes’ decision to refuse to do the Sandringham Christmas rigmarole. He has one good point, buried in about ten nasty arguments:

Dickie Arbiter, who was press secretary to Her Majesty for 12 years, spoke out as it was revealed the Duke and Duchess of Sussex would not be spending Christmas with the rest of the royal family at Sandringham. Mr Arbiter said the Queen was ‘pragmatic’ and let her grandchildren ‘get on with it’ but said Harry has now ‘got to decide what he wants to do.’

The 79-year-old made the comments on Nine News Australia after it was revealed Harry and Meghan confirmed they would be spending Christmas with baby Archie and his American grandmother Doria Ragland. Mr Arbiter pointed to William and Catherine spending Christmas with her mother and father in 2012 and again in 2016, adding, ‘so this is no big deal.’

‘I think the Queen is letting [Harry] get on with it, she’s very pragmatic and certainly understand that Harry’s got mental health issues and they need to sort it out. But she’s not heavy with any of the grandchildren and lets them get on with it. It’s a pity that Harry and Meghan might not be there but Meghan has got family as well.’

Mr Arbiter did however warn that Harry ‘needed to decide’ what he wants to do as a royal and discussed the 35-year-old dropping out of the royal family, and the line of succession. He said: ‘They have got to sort themselves out because this [rift] can’t go on forever. Harry has got to sort himself out. He’s got to decide what it is he wants to do. There is a lot of speculation about him dropping out of the royal family but he was born a prince and he’ll die a price and there’s no way he can escape from that. He’s got to sort his relationship out with his brother. I don’t think the animosity goes as far as Catherine. But there is a rift between the brothers and the body language between the brothers when they are together is not the best. Hopefully Meghan will help him sort it out. She was very relaxed, very calm at the Remembrance on Sunday] and Harry was very tense.’

[From The Daily Mail]

I found this particularly nasty: the Queen “certainly understand[s] that Harry’s got mental health issues and they need to sort it out.” Can you imagine just tossing that off in an interview when you used to be a spokesperson for the Queen? I got a chill – they did that sh-t to Diana too, they called her crazy, they gaslighted her about her depression and bulimia and her overall mental health. Harry is feeling raw these days, as we could see in the African Journey documentary, but as we could also see, he understands his own mental health and the work he needs to do. For Arbiter to suggest that Harry is somehow too mentally or emotionally weak to spend Christmas with the Queen is… just a really horrible assumption to make.

As for the rest of it… yes, it’s still stupid for all of these royal experts/correspondents to completely ignore the CAUSE of all the Sussex angst and to continue to act like it’s just Meghan and Harry being flaky. They did that when Meghan’s father was emotionally abusing her through the media – people like Arbiter were tut-tutting about “why can’t Meghan just SPEAK to him?” And now they’re like “it’s Harry’s responsibility to sort out the fact that William keeps throwing him under the bus.”

…But yeah, Harry is going to need to figure some things out. That’s the only thing I agree with. Whatever is happening now can’t be sustained long-term. Something has to give. Either the smear campaign is reeled in so the Sussexes can stay (talk about trying to put that genie back in the bottle) or… the Sussexes leave the UK.

Prince William and Prince Harry during the wreath laying at Whitehall in Londen, on November 10, 2019, on the occasion of the National Service of Remembrance at the Cenotaph Photo: Albert Nieboer /  Netherlands OUT / Point de Vue OUT |

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red and Backgrid.

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139 Responses to “Dickie Arbiter: Prince Harry has ‘got to decide what it is he wants to do’”

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  1. Oh No says:

    Welp, I’m ready to fight. Someone let me know if you see any good plane ticket deals on Expedia. Got 1 year and three months before my passport expires and hands for days

  2. Sunshine says:

    Kaiser I felt you with this one. These “royal experts” need to stop with their clout chasing.

    • Some chick says:

      This. So much this.

      The Sussexes do NOT need to leave the UK. The tabs need to stand down. Period, end of sentence.

      It’s fine to be anti royal. It’s not fine to bully.

    • Rhys says:

      What I don’t understand is how this fight against the nasty tabloids turned the royals and courtiers against Harry?

  3. Erinn says:

    Ugh, this is so lame.

    Do I think Harry could use a break and time to heal? Of course. Do I think he should go away, or whatever to achieve that? Not unless that’s what HE wants to do. Only he and Meghan can make the decision of what’s best for them – and whatever that decision is, I’ll support it. If it means leaving the family? Cool. If it means taking time off for a few months? Cool. The one thing I want for them is to be able to stick together and keep up the team work they’ve made themselves known for.

    It’s like shows of emotions are so foreign to the ‘old guard’ of RRs and assistants, and employees across the palaces that anyone who shows any is clearly seconds away from a total breakdown.

    • Lorelei says:

      I’m so exhausted on behalf of Meghan and Harry.

    • CynicalCeleste says:

      Leaving social media to the staff and not reading tabloids would go a long way to restoring mental calm. No doubt they are often confronted, maybe bombarded even, with racism, security threats and family estrangement. However, rumours, tabloid gossip and online bullshit are avoidable problems. And as for, “I thought it would be fair…” well, therein also lies a very big problem and perhaps the key to recovery.

      • Amanda says:

        Honestly Cynical Celeste, the problem is not a Harry or Meghan or what they read or pay attention to. The problem is a national news media that incorporates criminal activity and hate mongering in its daily course of business. We’ve seen them hack phones before — guess what, that is criminal. I really really detest this idea that someone is weak if they ever complain or raise an issue regardless of the legal and moral legitimacy of their complaint.

  4. Kittycat says:

    “Something has to give. Either the smear campaign is reeled in so the Sussexes can stay (talk about trying to put that genie back in the bottle) or… the Sussexes leave the UK.”

    These are not the only options available.

    The Sussexes can continue to work and raise their child(ren) within the royal family.

    William, Charles, the Queen, couriers have to decide if they want the Sussexes on the Sussexes terms.

    Or the Sussexes leave the royal family, start a business, and continue to work on their charities.

    There are plenty of options.

    • C-Shell says:

      Thanks, Kittycat, this is my thinking exactly. I don’t see their actions as a big strategic mistake. I believe they’ve been staking their claim to live as productively, with as much privacy and time to be a family as possible. That is not mutually exclusive with fulfilling their roles and position within the BRF. Taking action against the malicious rags was overdue and entirely justified. Spending a non-British holiday and Christmas with Meghan’s mother, if they are, is totally normal and also justified. As far as we know, they rarely see Doria. She’s Archie’s only grandmother (not counting Camilla, although I guess I should) and entitled to be with him, not least on special family occasions. He’s a baby, he has two teeth she’s probably only seen in pics and via Skype. Could the Sussexes and Doria put in an appearance on Christmas to appease the courtiers and Dickie/Piers? Sure, and no one knows that they will or they won’t. It’s all the speculation that makes it all seem like a grand plan.

      • BayTampaBay says:

        If I were Doria, I would say not just NO but HELL NO.

        Why in the world would Doria want her picture taken and published in the Daily Fail, press speculation about her dress,press speculation about how much her dress cost, press speculation about how much she paid for her dress and if sshe did pay for her dress, press speculation about if her dress was a loaner or gift, press speculation about if Meghan was “merching” to get her a free or loaner dress and finally press speculation about how maybe Oprah paid for her dress.

        NO, HELL NO and F#*KING HELL NO.

        If it were me, I would stay as far away as possible from the church at Sandringham and the pap walk for the whole Christmas Holiday!

    • Jumpingthesnark says:

      Word Kittycat, word!!!! Also, I think people are underestimating how huge of a public scAndal the Andy epstein stuff has the potential to be– will the BRF survive? And, in that context, skipping Sandringham Xmas makes sense. It wouldn’t help their charity work or brand to have Team Sussex associated with a pedo whitewashing Xmas pap walk or other similar activities. I’m glad they are sending a signal to that family that covering for Andy is not ok. When the sh!t hits the fan, people will remember who in the BRF was whitewashing and who was not.

    • HK9 says:

      That’s right. There are plenty of options and they should consider all of them. However, if the family thinks they have to take this abuse they don’t. Because let’s be real, they do a lot of good work and they’re going to continue that so The Firm has to ask itself why are they giving them static? The BRF needs to look at what it’s really trying to do here because people are watching the the BRF isn’t looking good. From my perspective, whomever gave Dickie the go ahead to speak is the one with the problem because he’s out of line.

  5. Bettyrose says:

    Does Harry Have mental health issues? Other than aversion to media intrusion based on childhood trauma? Is libel not a thing at all in Britain??

    • Sarah says:

      My guess is he tossed that line out with full knowledge that Harry can’t turn around and say “I do not!”, because his main message with charities is being open about mental health and removing the stigma.

      • Lorelei says:

        @Sarah you’re exactly right. I think he suffers from anxiety (who doesn’t FFS) but that was such a nasty, unnecessary jab from Dickie. Dickie really lives up to his name.

      • BayTampaBay says:

        I think Harry suffers from the mental anxiety of not being able to walk into Piers Morgan’s office and backhand that a$$hole across the room. How many men do you know how would be able to tolerate what has been done to Meghan being done to their wives. My husband would not tolerate it at all. My husband is not a violent person by any means but if someone treated me the way Piers treats Meghan (providing the person was not drunk) the situation could end up “outside” in the “parking lot” as we Southern Yanks say.

      • Rosa says:

        I agree. It’s almost impossible to make any kind of response to that comment without saying something that will leave him open to criticism

      • Bettyrose says:

        Still, it’s absolutely stigmatizing mental health issues to use them as public speculation, and if he has a medical diagnosis..well in my field (education) we have super strict policies on how and when and by whom that can be discussed.

        I know this is hardly the worst of it, but mygawd.

    • Enn says:

      He’s spoken about the trauma that his mother’s death (and the forced walk behind the casket) inflicted on him, which I believe was the impetus behind his push to destigmatize conversations around mental health. He also recently mentioned feeling like he couldn’t get out of bed.

      I think Harry bears a lot of emotional weight on his shoulders, and knowing that his wife and son are targets of a lot of derision and hate must take a toll.

      • MsIam says:

        I believe he said when he looked at what is going on in the world today he didn’t want to get out of bed but he realized he had to push forward. I suspect a lot of people in the world feel that way. Looking at this sh!t show going on in the US with the president makes me want to pull the covers over my head too.

      • BayTampaBay says:

        and pray it was all bad dream, Hillary is the POTUS and Mitch the Bitch really has exorcised to Moscow and took Miss Lindsey with him

      • bettyrose says:

        Thanks for sharing the link! No doubt this and other traumas in his life have informed his reactions to recent events, but no one who isn’t personally counseling someone can possibly know how much impact that has on daily life decisions. :-(

  6. Coffee says:

    My only question is, what will the sussexs do if they leave? Unfortunately, their bread is buttered on the side of the BRF. Exiting the BRF sounds like a good idea, IMO, but then what will they do? Charity events dont pay and they dont have any real skills. Meghan can go back to acting but she was never that great of an actress to begin with and was on her way to becoming a lifestyle blogger (peep her old IG.. thats the direction it was taking). Their personal funds will only last them so long.

    Given that its unlikely they are going to leave the BRF (for whatever reason), they need to re-evaluate their strategy. Alienating themselves isnt going to work.

    • OriginalLala says:

      They are hugely, globally famous now, it doesn’t really matter whether they have skills or not, they will definitely land on their feet if they leave the BRF.

      • Erinn says:

        They might not have the same level of living… but they’d certainly be able to live very very comfortably. I don’t doubt that there would be any lack of shiny job offers on the table – there’d be a lot of people falling all over themselves to snag one or both of them.

    • Toot says:

      They can both make money off speaking engagements and both are making connections now that we don’t know about that they can work with outside the royal family.

      I don’t think they’re leaving anytime soon, but if they leave, they will have a course of action.

    • Sarah says:

      I suspect Harry has a considerable fortune from his mother. And his father and grandmother too.

    • Mego says:

      Oh dear God they are multimillionaires and unless they live beyond their means, like everyone else, they would be perfectly fine. I sure Meghan would make do without bespoke Givenchy 🙄

      They would do very well as philanthropists and could make income (if needed) from speaking engagements.

      I suspect if they left the BRF the media attention would go through a period of intensity initially but would die down because they wouldn’t be as interesting or newsworthy as private citizens.

    • escondista says:

      Somehow the rest of us manage without the BRF bankrolling us and I assume both could get much more lucrative jobs than all of us without specific education or experience.

    • Ainsley7 says:

      The biggest problem with them leaving is security. Harry was ISIS’ #1 target when it came to the BRF because of his time in the military. Meghan and Harry have both been threatened by white supremacists. Simply leaving won’t remove those threats and would put them at even greater risk because neither can afford the security bill. If they didn’t need security then they would probably be ok, but they will always need security. They would have to step down and go into hiding. I can’t see either of them being ok with that considering their currents plans to be global philanthropists.

      • MsIam says:

        @Ainsley7, girl bye. There are a lot of rich people in the US and elsewhere that would make a good target for ISIS. H&M will be fine and I doubt they will be living in Afghanistan. You act like they have an entire army traveling with them at all times.

      • BayTampaBay says:

        “You act like they have an entire army traveling with them at all times.”

        They pretty much do have an entire army, a trained professional security army. Why do you think security bills are so high for Royal weddings?

        Diana would probably still be alive today if she had not god rid of her RPOs.

    • Guest says:

      There is a lot of things they can do
      Guest speakers deals, books, endorsements. They are very smart at making connections.

    • MsIam says:

      You need to get out more @Coffee. There are speaking fees, books, seats on boards of directors, endorsements and who knows what else. They will live more than comfortably. Look at the Obamas. Neither of them went back to practicing law, did they? Yet I think they are doing quite well. And it is not based on the pension from being president, which is about $200k per year.

      • Coffee says:

        I saw this one coming. Please stop and think why the Obamas and Clintons or ANY politician or other professional has a career in public speaking and book deals once they retire from their posts. Please keep in mind these people are regarded as professionals in their fields.

        What exactly do the Royals specialize in that they would be booked for book deals and speakings gigs? Unless its for how their life as royals was?

      • tcbc says:

        All you need to make (excellent) money from speaking engagements is some degree of fame.

        I know, because my former boss is on that circuit now, and she makes a killing. And that’s without any significant accomplishments to her name.

      • MsIam says:

        @tcbc, exactly. If people want to hear what you have to say, they will pay good money for it. Public speaking is not being a college professor. It means having a following and generating public interest. And you can make money from charities, especially big ones. In the US, the major charities have multi-million dollar budgets. They would gladly host a celebrity like Meghan or Harry at one of their fundraisers and there are people who will pay multi-thousand dollars for tickets.

    • February Pisces says:

      I don’t think their royal allowances are as much as people think. They don’t even pay their staff that well and the overheads to run a royal household is high. So I don’t think their spending is as extravagant as people think, and they run a pretty tight ship. I know harry has his inheritance money from Diana. And I’m sure he has plenty of side hustle and money in stocks etc. I think Meghan is gold right now. Financially she probably more limited within that family than if she was able to make money commercially. To put into context Tony Blair can make £300000 per hour for a speech, more than he made in a year as prime minister. But having to pay for their own security will probably burn a hole in their pocket.

    • Jaded says:

      Between the two of them they probably have close to $40 million at this point. They could create a world-wide foundation and have no lack of important donors. As others have stated, books, speaking engagements, fund-raisers, etc. would keep them quite comfortable and they wouldn’t have to deal with the bottom-dwellers in the BRF and media anymore.

    • Mrs.Krabapple says:

      I mean, look at how much money that Kardashian girl made from her “beauty products” line (a billion dollars?). I doubt the members of the royal family would be allowed to go full-scale commercial — but, if Harry and Meghan leave the royal family, what’s to stop them? They could be the next Oprah, with a combination of business ventures, public awareness issues, celebrity, etc. And how wealthy is Oprah?

      I know other members, former members, and adjacent non-members of the royal family have tried and failed in the past — but none of them are/were as smart and savvy as Meghan. If Harry cashes in on his connections, and Meghan cashes in on hers, they could have a multi-country enterprise worth billions. Or maybe not. But, I think the *possibility* is definitely there, except they’d have to leave the royal family first.

      • Coffee says:

        Have you seen how many followers the Kardashians have? Their followers span generations which is why theyre able to Make millions within minutes. The royals can barely get to 10mil. Theres only a certain age group that cares about the royals or anything they would have to say.

        I like the tea 😎, thats all. I would NOT pay to see ANY of them.

      • Sassy says:

        If YouTubers can make millions from appearances then these two can too.

    • Fabuleuse says:

      How the Sussexes can make money. Let me count the ways:
      Former US Presidents make their millions in book deals and speaking engagements . Book deals and speaking engagements alone will make Meghan uber wealthy.
      Sports stars make more money in product endorsements than they make in salaries. I’m talking $20-30M/year for a female athlete. Both Harry and Meghan will be drowning in offers.
      A 15-minute cameo appearances of either Meghan or Harry in a couple of well-chosen movies can earn them millions, plus residual income from DVDs.
      A women’s and children’s clothing line.

      Lavish lifestyle: The Sussexes live in a five-bedroom house in the country. I wouldn’t call that a lavish lifestyle. They don’t live in a sprawling manor, in palaces and castles. They do vacation lavishly, but it’s from having uber wealthy friends with private jets. They will still have that.

      Philanthropy: Meghan will continue to raise awareness and money for her charity projects as she does now AND be able to get corporate sponsorships, which a royal foundation can’t accept. Those corporate sponsorships are what the Sussexes need for their personal charities in Africa.
      Travelling and working in Africa: Meghan will go back to the United Nations, and now with a huge platform. She and Harry will be UN ambassadors as special envoys to the African continent. They will thus have not just the Commonwealth nations, but all African countries that are members of the UN, which I believe all are. The UN will thus cover their travel missions and provide UN security. I even see them being sent to Haiti in the Caribbean if the need should arise.

      Becoming royal gave Meghan a huge platform, but like Princess Diana, it’s her star power that makes her an uber celebrity, not palace PR propping her up like the other duchess. Princess Diana’s star shined even brighter after her divorce, in spite of losing her HRH and being kicked out of the Royal Family. She went on to campaign for the landmine project — something she couldn’t have done as a royal.

      Meghan and Harry will not retire from the spotlight and go on to live a quiet life. They’re not going to abandon their life’s mission because they were being bullied by the mean kids. Right now, the Sussexes know they have leverage over both the Royal Family and the British Tabloids who desperatly need them to make money. The Sussexes are using that leverage to regain control of their lives and renegotiate the terms with both the RF and the press.

  7. LovelyRose says:

    Dickie needs to stop talking. He’s moving into Paul Burrell territory here.

  8. Becks1 says:

    Everytime someone blames Harry’s “mental health issues” it makes me realize how far the royal family still has to go in terms of mental health, and how much of Heads Together etc is just lip service on the part of William.

    I completely disagree that the Sussexes are at this crossroads now and need to decide what they are going to do next in terms of “stay or go.” It seems clear to me that they are staying, but they are going to do it on their terms, which may include long stays in the US over school breaks, or not spending every holiday in the UK when Meghan had friends and family elsewhere.

    I do think the brothers need to re-evaluate their relationship. Maybe they aren’t going to be as close as they used to be, but they need to figure out how be royals together. A lot of sibling relationships go through major changes as you get older and get married etc, and I don’t think that means they are doomed for life to not be close.

    But, I think a lot of this circles back to Rose Hanbury, and how that whole thing played out.

    • S808 says:

      “ I completely disagree that the Sussexes are at this crossroads now and need to decide what they are going to do next in terms of “stay or go.” It seems clear to me that they are staying, but they are going to do it on their terms”

      This! I actually think it’s the RF that need to decide what they’re going to do.

    • Devon says:

      I don’t think there is any working out a relationship between Will and Harry unless Harry is willing to be a punching bag in public for Will whenever he needs some media cover. W&K are the equivalent of human oatmeal and are always going to be less of a star power than M&H. W&K can’t accept that and M&H can’t turn their charisma off. There is really nothing to be done unless W&K get personality transplants.

      • OriginalCarol says:

        I don’t know why, but your post cracked me up what with “human oatmeal’ and ‘personality transplant’, lol.

        Dare I say while W&K do think about doing the personality transplant, get one hair transplant for Bill too. Dude needs it cause he can’t be taken seriously with an egg head like that.

    • Jaded says:

      I think the time for re-evaluating their relationship is long gone, the damage has been done. William is petty, jealous and will stop at nothing to throw his brother and SIL under the bus because he can’t stand that they are so successful in their combined work. Meghan’s the best thing to happen to Harry while William’s marriage seems stagnant and lackluster. He simply doesn’t have the compassion gene and comes off as a cold, arrogant and angry man while Kate just doormats for him. Between the two of them they radiate as much charisma and dedication as a 10 watt bulb.

    • PrincessK says:

      The relationship between William and Harry has been fraught for years. Harry just put on a brave face during years of being mocked and put down by William, so jealous of Harry’s popularity. I recently read an interview Harry gave in 2012 where he said that he was really looking forward to doing conservation work in Africa but did not want to be seen as stepping on William’s toes. Those were his actual words.

      William is intensely jealous of Harry and this has intensified since Meghan arrived and gave Harry the backbone to stand up to him.

      Notice that William has stopped making sarcastic jokes at Harry’s expense. The smear campaign against the Sussexes suits William but it will definitely come to bite him back. Mark my words. William is stale without charisma and hates public life, and endless popularity campaigns by the Daily Mail will not change that.

  9. S808 says:

    “If Harry and Meghan intend to stay in England and fight and do what they came here to do, then they’re f–king it all up.“

    How? Maybe I’m missing something because to me seems as they’ve set clear boundaries that they’re not willing to cross and are doing the charity work they’re supposed to be doing.

    “Something has to give. Either the smear campaign is reeled in so the Sussexes can stay (talk about trying to put that genie back in the bottle) or… the Sussexes leave the UK.”

    I don’t think things are this black and white. There is a solution in the grey area somewhere.

  10. Toot says:

    The Sussexes aren’t leaving the UK anytime soon.

    Their decision not to go to Sandringham, I believe, was for many reasons:
    1. Archie’s first Christmas and Meghan wanted to spend it with her mother and they’ve already spent the last two with the Windsors.

    2. Not wanting to be around William and possibly Andrew for long periods of time.

    3. Not giving the asshole press, that they’re currently suing, those money making shots of them at Sandringham.

    Meghan and Harry are continuing the work they want to do, they’re just not going to deal with the tabs.

    • PrincessK says:

      Well said…..especially about not giving the media the shots they want. What are the bets that the Cambridge’s will wheel out their kids at some point to gain extra brownie points?

  11. Nic919 says:

    All these comments that gaslight Harry about being fragile or having mental health issues are just disgusting. The statement from BP is pretty clear that the Queen supports Meghan seeing her mother over the holidays. And yet the commentators act like Harry just got in a car with Meghan and Archie, drove off squealing the tires and shooting the middle the finger as they spin out of the driveway at Windsor castle.

    • Becks1 says:

      I agree with you completely, but the image of Harry doing just that (driving off in a car with the tires squealing) is cracking me up.

      • L84Tea says:

        Me too! :-D

      • BayTampaBay says:

        ” Harry just got in a car with Meghan and Archie, drove off squealing the tires and shooting the middle the finger as they spin out of the driveway at Windsor castle.”

        Is exactly what the commentariat of the Daily Fails lives for; both those for and against the Sussexes. The scenario, for different reasons fits, fits the dreams of both those for and those against the Sussexes.

    • Tourmaline says:

      It is indeed very cold to dismiss Harry with “he has mental health issues, you know” which is exactly how I take Arbiter’s comments. Like, “pay no attention to the crazy one over there in the corner”. It was a deliberate stigmatizing put-down in my opinion.

      • BayTampaBay says:

        Remember. this Dickie Arbiter person was the one who pulled out the Palace knives against Sarah Ferguson.

    • February Pisces says:

      The ‘mental health’ line seems to be what the press and KP are running with. They are trying to discredit harry and a fearful of what he might say so they are trying to paint a picture that he’s gone ‘crazy’. The kardashians do this all the time with their men, as soon as they break up they are all labeld as a ‘drunk’ ,‘drug addict’ ‘cheater’ or ‘crazy’ mostly out of fear the public might believe what they say. If anyone has mental health problems it’s William, his crippling insecurity over his own brother and need to ruin his life just to make himself feel better can’t be good for his health.

    • RoyalBlue says:

      Hilarious comment and great visual.

      Not sure how this wound up here. It’s meant to be for the post about Harry flipping the bird.

  12. Lala11_7 says:

    I’m confused at this narrative…ALL Harry and Meghan have to do is pay their taxes and mind their businesses…which is what they do…

  13. Cidy says:

    A lot of this was gross and a lot of this was accurate.

    I dont think he should call Harry’s anxiety about his marriage and the horrible smearing campaign against his wife “mental health issues.” He is tense and tight right now, anyone would be. That language was gross and insensitive and absolutely inappropriate. Anyone in his situation in their right mind would be absolutely stressed out.

    One thing he got both right and wrong: the rift between the brother cannot go on forever, but it is not just up to Harry to fix it, it’s also William’s responsibility. They need to work out whatever they have going on, because I highly doubt that Harry is planning on up and leaving the royal family. However, its going to take a family effort to fix it. I think they both *the brothers* suffer from the same PTSD like thing with the press because of what happened with their mother, they just handle it differently. They both need to find ways to be healthier, there is no wrong age to start.

    I think another thing he got right was that it does not go as deep as Kate and that Meg seemed relaxed. Like I said over and over, I doubt that Kate has anything against Meg and Harry – if anything she might like less of the intense spotlight. I think that Kate is much more insecure about her position within herself. The problem has never been between Kate and Meg. I firmly believe that.

    • xo says:

      Personally, I think the addition of Meghan has been a relief for Kate. She was (I suspect) always threatened by those upper class English girls – the Calthorpes, etc & I think she probably lived in fear of Harry marrying one of them.
      They made her feel like an outsider.

      She’s relaxed considerably in the last two years. Standing next to Meghan, she is indisputably the “English Rose.”

  14. Valiantly Varnished says:

    Sorry Kaiser but you’re absolutely wrong. This isn’t a zero sum game. There has been literally NO indication that Meghan and Harry are leaving the BRF. What they HAVE indicated is that they are not going to silently suffer and they are going to set boundaries for themselves and their child. It isn’t actually all that complicated.

    • C-Shell says:

      Yep, it’s all about boundaries … setting them, illuminating them and enforcing them. All things H & M have done and are doing. If one can call that a “strategy,” then it’s NEVER wrong.

      • Elizabeth R says:

        This x 1000. Setting boundaries is the healthiest thing this family has seen in ….ever, and they’re losing their collective shit over it.

    • Erinn says:

      And they’re at the worst part of the junction right now, I think. It’s hard to set the boundaries down initially, and it tends to kick up a lot of complaints from others – this happens all the time in small ‘every day’ families. But if they want to do it, they need to really be consistent now, and I do think it will get easier over time. But the amount of stress on their shoulders during the transition away from the ‘norm’ is probably huge.

    • Bookworm says:

      The boundaries should go both ways. It shouldn’t be “you support us in the style we want to be accustomed to, and we will do exactly what we want regardless of what others in our position have to do.”

    • Mego says:

      Well said VV!

  15. outoftheshadows says:

    Dickie Arbiter seems like he could stand to be a bit more sensitive, but I was glad to see him give Meghan credit for once. She is good at being calm and collected, and probably is a good influence on Harry.

    I hope for the best for both of them. And for that adorable baby of theirs.

  16. Sassy says:

    The Sussexes aren’t leaving no matter how bad it gets they will never give up the money and privilege. The BRF aren’t afraid of them leaving that’s why the smear campaign is still going on they want them to leave. Dickie is a dick for his comments on Harry’s mental health. That is why people don’t discuss the mental issues, because there is always a dick like Dickie ready to use it against them when the time comes.

  17. TheOriginalMia says:

    Count me in the confused column. What exactly are Harry and Meghan doing to indicate they want out of the BRF? Not spending Christmas with the extended family? That’s relatively normal. The Cambridges did it. The reason people bashed them wasn’t the decision to spend it with the Middletons. It was the decision to hold a pap walk to church and the appearance of operating a separate court. All the Sussexes want is privacy and fairness in reporting. They are working hard for the Crown and being thrown under the bus repeatedly. Dickie can STFU.

  18. Digital Unicorn says:

    Arbiter is a bitter old goat who has NO access, not since he’s written several books about his time working for TQ. His daughter is also a royal reporter.

  19. lanne says:

    Kaiser, what do you think they should do differently? Give in to the RRs? A sit down with Piers Morgan or Ingrid Seward (barf?) Invite everyone in for a tour of Frogmore? Will that make the press go away? It didn’t for Diana. The more she gave them the more they wanted. If they want to live a life of public service on their own terms, they need to set their own boundaries. They have been making strategic moves by aligning themselves with powerful people. I just read a blind on Meghan “keeping a notebook” of everything that’s happened to her as a royal. Um–smart move! I think that blind’s a sheer guess, b/c it’s from a very anti-Meghan site, and they spin it like “the royals are distancing themselves b/c they are afriad of what she’ll write,” but who wouldn’t keep a diary of something as life-changing as this? Diary or not, the Sussexes have a fantastic story they could tell someday if they are ever kicked out of the RF (and no matter how it’s spun, that’s how the optics will look). They will be world famous for the rest of their lives–look at how many royal adjacent people are still living on royal connections decades in the past? They can run a foundation, hobnob with celebrities, write books. They will never want for money. And when the Sussexes do projects that actually make money for their causes, create new partnerships, bring more attention, the Cambridges will look feeble next to them. I don’t believe William wants the Sussexes to leave–they will show him up so badly, and he’ll have no control over them if they leave. He needs them right where they are–bowing and curtseying to him. If the Sussexes are going to do that, they should do it on their own terms. Not Williams.

    • Sunday says:

      This times a thousand, couldn’t agree more.

    • dreamchild says:

      Do the immediate family members have to bow or curtsey to each other in private or only in public by rank? In the period shows it seems that anytime a “better” walks by there is bowing and scraping or is that just dramatic license? I am intensely curious about the minutiae which is why I love the Crown. My fondest wish would be to be Meg’s cuz and get all the gossip and her perspective of the RF from a black American point of view. It would be like Giiiiiirrrrrrlllll..:)

    • February Pisces says:

      Yep. I don’t think William necessarily wants them to leave, he just wants them to always look bad so he can continue to look great and recieve priase by doing the bare minimum. If they leave he won’t have his punching bag anymore. Plus we all know harry and Meghan will absolutely rise to the occasion and carve out successful careers in their own right. Plus they will be able to do whatever the hell they want without the ‘we pay for them’ excuse being thrown at them. They will be able to work on whatever charities or project they want, when they want and coin it in with commercial opportunities. Plus Harry will still be HRH Prince Harry and a duke, so it’s not as of he will be de-royaled.

    • Mego says:

      Yes. I agree but England has proven to be a hostile working environment due to the media abuse so I don’t know how she can thrive there unless it stops. I’m afraid that as long as William and Kate see them as a threat and competition the knives will always be out for them.

  20. grumpyterrier says:

    This made me remember how many mommy issues the birth of my own child brought up when he was born. Meaning to say, thoughts of my own mom (she is just really mean but alive). So I bet Harry does have a lot on his mind right now, not that it should have been pointed out by this dude in the press.

  21. Mego says:

    One of many things that irk me about this is the implication that The victim of abuse has to “figure things out.” No Dickhead, the abuse needs to stop And the Royal Family need to protect their own.

  22. Elaine Stritch says:

    I think one of the things that gets left out of people’s thinking when the solution is “Well, they’ll just up and leave and be done with the BRF” is the very real fact that THIS IS HIS FAMILY. He’s just as much a part of it, this is the family he’s known and loved and been raised by and with. Even with all the resources in the world and no matter how committed he is to Megan it’s still his family. They’re not figments of some big, bad narrative to him. They’re just his every day family which he will always be a part of.

    • Lorelei says:

      But no one is saying he would cut off contact completely. They could absolutely still have relationships with Charles, their cousins, etc…they’d still be members of the family, they just wouldn’t be working members of The Firm.

      • dreamchild says:

        I think Harry is just shellshocked by his introduction to racism 101. He just can’t believe how ugly people can be when it comes to race, especially people in his own family and set that he probably thought was truly above racist shit. It is hugely eye-opening to see racism from the inside out. That’s why Harry’s so tense cause he’s seeing it with wide open eyes and Meghan is just chill cause she already knows what to expect since this is everyday for her. Poor Harry.

  23. Oliviajoy1995 says:

    Harry and Meghan can’t even breathe anymore without pissing people off. You have a Prince who hung out with a known pedophile for YEARS and a woman outed him as someone she had sex with underage and people are still talking about stupid a** where will Harry and Meghan live stories. I hope their marriage is able to survive all this.

    • Aimee says:

      Exactly! And the family has done nothing to diffuse all this bad press that Harry and Meghan have received and yet the Queen will show up at church with her son who is being investigated for sex with a minor, etc. THIS is why Harry and Meghan are pissed and don’t want to be around the RF. They’re being thrown under the bus to cover for Andrew. It’s BS. I don’t think they will leave the RF but they might just become the next Duke and Duchess of Windsor.

  24. Smee says:

    The only argument for staying in UK for Xmas would be the Queen’s age…she definitely has a limited number of them left.

    The way it’s being expressed – that there’s a “refusal” to attend is b.s. Was it considered a refusal when they went to the Middletons in years past?

  25. Eyfalia says:


    The latest on Meghan’s case against the Daily Mail and the Mail on Sunday.

    • lanne says:

      That’s pretty damning for the DM and MOS. Heads need to roll.

    • Mego says:

      Thanks for providing the link. That is some s**t tonne of lies. I’m liking this law firm so far.

    • February Pisces says:

      God that was a great read. It really clarifies their side of the story. I think they are gonna have to expose their sources to verify their facts and where they got their stories from.

      • notasugarhere says:

        Like the Kate aid who was fired just after returning from honeymoon? W&K setting her up for a fall? Meanwhile, Catherine Quinn has taken a runner after two years of trying to embiggen Kate.

      • Lady D says:

        Why oh why did Catherine Quinn quit? I’m dying to know here. She had a gig where she was set for life, what happened? Did she tell Charles or Kate first? Did she get sick of the bullshit? Was it money? Does she know and maybe disapprove of the smear campaign? Or did she just get bored right out of her flipping mind sitting around waiting for either of those two to do something/anything? Perhaps she likes a challenge, has conquered this one and doesn’t see any more on the horizon? Is there simply nothing more she can do or learn working with the Cambridges? I’d really be disappointed to think she’s part of the smear campaign and is being let go for the same reasons as the just-married aide. I thought her more professional than that. She seems the type of employee a company would hire to help grow their business. Her qualifications are through the roof.

    • Mego says:

      The Mail et al is run by a pack of sociopathic criminals. They must be stopped.

    • notasugarhere says:

      This is how you stand and fight.

  26. emmy says:

    Ooohhhh giiirl, did he throw out mental health issues? That’s some shitty shit right there from someone this closely associated with Liz. The fight is on I guess? The Sussexes have options. Right now they should probably ride out that Andrew nightmare and see where the chips fall. If this continues, they could just wait and see who’s still standing in a few years.

  27. Devon says:

    The one strategic mistake the Sussexes are showing is not doing more work at the end of the year. They are letting the Cambridges’ numbers get higher than theirs even though the Sussexes have done more meaningful work. Part of the issue is that some of Meghan’s events haven’t been reported to the CC and both of their behind-the-scenes meetings haven’t been reported unlike W&K. If W&K can pad their numbers with behind-the-scenes meetings so should M&H.

    • Devon says:

      I think the Sussexes have made a smart play to not do the royal insider politics BS and create distance on a personal level from the RF. They want their work to stand for itself. That means they actually have to show the public how much work they’ve been doing.

    • Tourmaline says:

      I’m sure there is nothing wrong with their numbers. They had their first child in May. Plenty of latitude was given to Kate in the years that she gave birth. William post-marriage went on for quite some time with the “I’m a helicopter pilot, no royal duties for me thanks” strategy and then the “I am taking some gap years to learn things, bespoke agriculture course, hanging out with MI-5, don’t call me I’ll call you” era. The Sussexes don’t need to get into a pissing match with anyone over numbers, they are walking their own path and deciding where to put their efforts.

    • Sunday says:

      I think this is a double-edged sword for them, and they’ve made the smart play – true, the media will likely lambast them for their numbers, but their current lawsuits are fighting on that front (and based on what we’ve seen today from Byline Investigates, the tabloids will soon have their hands full). However, William and Kate will LOVE that they’re not being outshone, that in quantity at least they’ve clearly “beaten” the Sussexes. That will play to Will’s ego and may help stop the petty placed stories from camp cambridge. Stroke a narcissist’s ego and they can’t help but smile. If Harry and Meghan were racking up engagements in the CC as W&K are clearly trying to do right now, I think it would only feed into the competition, both as presented in the biased media as well as in Will’s head.

      • PrincessK says:

        Very true. When you see W&K out they are clearly just trying to rack up the numbers, especially so that they are ahead of the Sussexes. Harry and Meghan on the other hand seem more interested in making an impact and delivering and setting measurable goals.

  28. Guest says:

    Hope they do eventually leave. Not so much for them but the diaster media storm that would happen to.the royals will be glorious. Karma is a bitch.

  29. L4frimaire says:

    All this speculation seems way overblown. Why all this angst and freaking out because Meghan and Harry want to spend their first Christmas as new parents, Meghan as a new mother, with her own mother? Maybe she just desperately needs to be around her mom and wants to end a tumultuous and exhausting year on a positive and relaxing note. When everyone thought they were going to LA just for Thanksgiving, was it considered running away or giving into smears? Now that the calendar date has moved by 3 weeks or so, all hell breaks loose and Harry needs to make critical decisions. Whatever problems or rifts are happening, the stress of the holidays, amplified by media scrutiny, is rarely the time to “patch things up”. If anything, things get worse. People should be careful to not let the tabloid press dictate this narrative, especially since the palace said what they said on it.

  30. Chelle says:

    For all of those I’m about to offend, I’m sorry. It’s not intentional. I’m going to use the word crazy. Yes, I know mental illness doesn’t mean or even in the remotest way equate to crazy. Now, with apologies out the way, I can imagine Harry saying: I’m supposed to be the crazy one, the one in a fragile place, because I will no longer allow that arse of a brother of mine to ride me and my wife’s coat tails or otherwise take advantage of us? What BS. I’m not going to lie for him or cover up for him anymore. And why do I have sort things out?! What about him? And, no, we’re not leaving England for a permanent home elsewhere. This is home. And, two, I’m not stepping out of the line of succession despite the fact that I don’t want it and there are four people in front of me, my smug arse hole of a brother and his three children. So you lot can just f😖ck-off.

    • L4frimaire says:

      @Chelle, Agree with this. In that documentary, they made very clear that the work they do is on behalf of the crown, represents the Royal family, and they want to prove that the taxpayers are getting their money’s worth. They both know the significance of HRH, and the clout and funding of the crown. No where did either of them imply they’re ready to leave. Sometimes I think all this mess is really one sided and it’s not the Sussexes. Last time I checked, the foundation they’re launching is called Sussex Royal, not Sussex Random.

  31. MsIam says:

    I interpreted what Dick said about Harry sorting things out with William is that Harry has to realize he needs to be William’s doormat at his beck and call and make him look good at all times. If I was Harry, that would be a hard “no” from me.

  32. kerwood says:

    So now Harry has ‘mental health issues’? It seems that the abusers have realized that their obviously racist attacks haven’t worked, in fact have created world-wide sympathy for the Sussexes. So now they’re trying something new. Harry’s a nutter!!! Let’s see how well that works.

    I don’t think the opinion of a senior citizen who calls himself ‘Dickie’ should hold much sway but I think it’s interesting that he praises Meghan. At least Dickie isn’t a total idiot. He knows that the window to get on the Duchess of Sussex’ bandwagon is closing and the people who cling to the racist hate that’s so popular right now might find themselves left out in the cold.

    The Queen won’t be around FOREVER and even though Charles is keeping his mouth shut now, he’s going to want people in the royal family who make him look GOOD. And that’s the Duchess of Sussex.

    Get on board, little children!!!

  33. Jumpingthesnark says:

    Heh! Royal reporters seeing that their job security is going away ( see andy interview). The BRF is in trouble and may be going down at some point. RRs desperately getting as much cluckbait in as possible before they are out of jobs.

  34. blunt talker says:

    I think this guy and others like him are truly underestimating Prince Harry. People in the royal family, royal workers for the royal family, and the press have done this to Harry all his life. Harry is much more savvy than they think. He making plays and changing the game all the time. Which is making these people go insane. He knows exactly what he is doing and why. Keep underestimating Harry at your own peril. He is steely with a strong resolve. Anyone who knows what happened to his mom and stuff written about her death should know that Harry saw and read this same info which caused him problems early on. Now he has come into his own person with his own family you better believe he has the mind and heart of a tiger.

  35. Mtec says:

    I really don’t understand what’s the big deal spending one holiday season with a different side of the family, especially if you see less of that side throughout the year. The queen doesn’t own Christmas. It’s totally normal if the wanna spend it with Doria and that side of Meghan’s extended family. I don’t see how this means they want to disassociate from the UK.

  36. DS9 says:

    I don’t understand this article.

    H&M haven’t made huge errors regardless of what they are trying to do. Either way you slice it they are setting their own precedent, long before William gets his ass up there to set it for them.

    Also, they know what they want to do. They want to work and focus on charity work at that. Which is why they keep working even while everything rages on.

    • carmen says:

      DS9 – It’s not worth trying to understand i.e. consider the source. Daily Fail & Dickie. Come on. When the BBC or the Guardian starts publishing that kind of cr*p, then maybe it’s time to take notice.

  37. Hmmm says:

    He’s gonna give into what he knows and let Meghan take full blame for everything. Typical.

  38. Scorpio ♏️ Rants says:

    The comment about Harry’s mental health was horrifying and unconscionable.

    I’m completely ambivalent about the Sussex’s……not a fan of anyone really in the RBF…….admittedly I sure don’t get the need to be so invested or pick a team as many here do. I tend to read these stories to judge the comments.🤪

    But I tend to agree that they seem to be screwing it up if their goal is long term relevance in the BRF game.

    • Still_Sarah says:

      I agree with the comment about the Sussex strategy. I remember reading about someone (a BRF supporter?) who said Meghan had to make up her mind about who she was – was she a British royal or a Hollywood celebrity? This made sense to me as she was formerly a Hollywood celebrity and she was good at it – she had a lifestyle website/ blog and promoted herself and her “brand” (modern feminist woman) very well. That’s how they do it in Hollywood. But the BRF promotes their “brand” in an entirely different way. And the Africa documentary and her interview were something that would have played well from an American celebrity viewpoint but sounded terrible (and self-serving) from a member of the BRF. So I agree with Kaiser – if they are planning to stay in Britain, their strategy is terrible.

  39. Amanda says:

    I fail to see how this is leading to them leaving or fleeing England, honestly. They were literally just front and center at the Remembrance Day event, Harry right by Andrew’s side. I can imagine they absolutely detest certain members of the family and don’t feel particularly like toadying to them, so what. They can skip Sandringham or wherever and it won’t affect their status. Charles will push Andrew aside and elevate his own sons, including Harry. They aren’t in any danger of going anywhere any time soon and I don’t think they’re making any kind of mistake. Not participating in a toxic family mess for the holidays is exceptionally healthy and adult. I also disagree completely that they have to stay with the royal family for security. Yes this is the same royal family where a man invaded the queen’s bedroom not that long ago. The same family where Charles’s car was attacked in London with him in it even more recently. When Kate goes shopping in London she has like one protection officer who often doesn’t even carry a visible weapon (yes I know she’s probably not attracting the racists, but still). They are extremely rich and well connected and they could afford excellent security, for which they don’t need an army, just competent professionals.

  40. Linda says:

    I think they’re going to leave. They’ve built quite a large circle of friends whose values match theirs and these people have been able to do good in the world and have successful careers too. Meghan understands that world and it’s clearly a world Harry likes. Maybe the rift is Harry changing and wanting to integrate these changes into the family and being dismissed by the RF and having them blame it all on Meghan and dismissing him as a screw up being led around by a girl. He looks ready to assert himself away from his family. And he’s got the right person by his side to help him do it.

  41. Lucylee says:

    There is nothing wrong with Harry. He is not going to put up with the bull crap any longer. RR need to find another cash cow. No fab 4 pics this year means some folks won’t have big pay checks after this holiday. Books that can’t go to press because there are no pics and the gossip pipeline has dried up.
    Harry knows very well what he is doing and he has advisors that he can trust.
    After all, he will never be king.

  42. Christa says:

    The reason they have to come to terms with Will and not the other way around is that the Firm has a clear hierarchy. Harry does not have the option to do his own thing if it does not reflect well on the Firm’s brand unless he wants out. Will is the future CEO and they can either get right with him or Will can make life very uncomfortable for them. Harry and Megan are not supposed be superstars… they are supporting cast. You could argue that they might do better as the face and brand of the Firm but that is not the way an archaic system works. It all comes down to Will being future king… and again, not saying he’s super good at it,but it’s the job he will have.

    And yeah, they might do well internationally but it’s the British taxpayers that support their lifestyle. They need to be more concerned about how they come across in Britain, with a global market as a secondary plus.

    I think it’s very sad but I also think by not sucking it up and having one awkward day with the family, they are giving the rift story legs and inviting criticism.

    • Guest2.0 says:

      Other than not allowing themselves to be bullied by the media and RRs and not getting sucked into playing the media’s business as usual games, how are H&M doing their own thing? They appear to be actively working on behalf of the Firm and carrying out their royal duties as required. They are supporting the Firm’s brand. It’s beyond their control that there’s so much media attention placed on them and they’re “popular.” H&M are not intentionally trying to be superstars. What exactly are they supposed to do? Dim their light to appease Will’s ego? Go grovel at Will’s feet and continue allowing themselves to be thrown under the bus whenever it suits the Firm’s purpose to distract from other messy issues?

      No, H&M need to get a handle on things now, otherwise Archie and any other child will have hell to pay. I shudder at what will happen to H&M’s children if this is the treatment the parents receive.

  43. Marie says:

    This proves how vile the British press are, using someone’s mental health against them. That Dickie guy has always hated Meghan and really believed Harry wouldn’t marry her and even said she wouldn’t get a title. He is so vile and disgusting. Just because he worked for the Queen doesn’t mean he knows what he is talking about.

  44. MeghanNotMarkle says:

    There was no need to comment on Harry’s mental health. Dickie Arbiter is a dick.

  45. Mrs. Smith says:

    I wouldn’t blame them for leaving, I’m mean–why not? Harry isn’t the heir. Meghan knows what private, normal life is like and they can have that in LA or Toronto (or wherever). The world won’t stop spinning if H&M scoop up Archie and make a home for themselves elsewhere. Lots of people with toxic families do this. I think they can let the chips fall where they may with whole BRF and, in a couple of years or so, they can return if they want to. While they are away, Charles and William will have no one to snipe at or throw under the bus. I hope H&M choose themselves and their happiness first, whatever that looks like.

  46. RoyalBlue says:

    Oh crap Dickie’s joined the gaslighting too? Glad that he is showing his colors. I dismiss everything he says because he is not a credible witness. If he is lying about even one thing then I can’t trust him. It can’t go both ways for me where I pick and choose which items may be true because his intentions are clear. Victim blame and put the onus of effort to mend the relationships on the side that was maligned.

  47. Miriam says:

    Is it just me who’s confused about how this (probably ONLY time skipping the Christmas walk) is taking so seriously & even making it as SIN!!! They literally just joined the rest of the family to watch remembrance day festival!! Why is it such a crime for them wanting to spend it casually with close friends+Meghan’s mum???
    We might even see them before New years (if they’re in UK) , you’re all overeating

  48. SpankFD says:

    If Wills’ behavior (and that of all the sycophants in the British media and tabloids) is representative of the monarchy, do the British people even want one? Do I as a Yank want to prop these inbred racists up with my billions of tourist dollars? How wise is it to stand behind an obviously lazy, entitled and incompent leader?

  49. Cora says:

    I feel so bad for them, specially for him in this instance. UK is his home and the divorce rate is very high. If they leave and separate, he is ruined outside his family and titles. If they stay and she is still bullied to leave, he is ruined with his little family broken. Sad and awful rhe damage to this couple who have done nothing to deserve it.