Over the summer, RHOA’s Porsha Williams clapped back at trolls who body-shamed her for posting pictures of herself after giving birth to daughter Pilar Jhena (“PJ”) in March. In an Instagram post, she wrote that she wants to encourage other moms and that “I actually adore my lil marks and feel like itâs a… badge of honor, which was nice. Porsha sounded upbeat and confident, and really happy to try to encourage other moms to similarly celebrate and love their bodies.
Now thereâs news that Porsha’s financĂŠ, Dennis McKinley, who had cheated on Porsha while she was pregnant with PJ, told herthat he did it, in part, because of Porsha’s postpartum depression. Oh, really?. This came out during a recent episode of the show:
The couple â who have since reconciled but at the time of filming, were living apart and splitting time with their daughter Pilar “PJ” Jhena, now 8 months â came together for a counseling session with Dr. Sherry Blake.
One of the looming questions for fans has been why McKinley cheated on the first place, as the pair appeared to be head-over-heels in love on the show.
McKinley, 43, answered that question in therapy, admitting that he strayed outside his relationship because he was sexually turned off by Williams during her pregnancy and afterward, as she battled postpartum depression.
“We had a rough pregnancy, all the way from start to finish,” McKinley said. “Sex during pregnancy, itâs nothing what a man wants to do … and after PJ got here, postpartum was very real. We cried together like every night. Thatâs not a good enough why, but thatâs the why.”
“It was a poor decision and it was a selfish decision,” McKinley continued. “I made a mistake, I cheated. … Iâve done my best to let Porsha know that I love her and Iâm remorseful and apologetic. The priority for me is the baby.”
Porsha wasnât impressed with Dennis’ description of his behavior as “a mistake.”:
“A mistake, to me, is taking the wrong exit. You donât make a mistake and set up with someone and cheat,” said Williams, 38. “Thatâs not where he need to be in order for me to heal and move forward. He needs to be in a place in my eyes where heâs taking full accountability for his actions, period. No matter how it looks and feels. It insults me when he says mistake.”
Dennis assured a hesitant Porsha that he wanted to work on their relationship rather than choose to live separately and co-parent, and apparently they are planning on getting married.
Poor Porsha and PJ. Dennis is responsible for his behavior and choices, and itâs abominable to try to pin the reason he cheated on Porshaâs PPD. No. You support your partner as best you can and make sure that you both get the help you need to navigate that. Itâs also sh-tty to call cheating “a mistake,” as Porsha told him. No, itâs a choice. If you make it, own it. It seemed that Porsha was unsure about Dennisâ sincerity, and told him that if he didnât want to be married to her, that would be fine. I just hope she doesnât get hurt again.
Note by Celebitchy: The photo below is from January, when Porsha was pregnant. I might say that Dennis is hanging his head in shame. There are maybe two photos in this set where he looks up.
Look at her house it’s crazy!
Photos credit Backgrid and via Instagram
He is gross and despicable.
Any male who blames a pregnancy or post partum as a reason to do anything negative or terrible is garbage. Girl leave him at the curb where he belongs.
She needs to find a real partner who will support her through any ups and downs that come with living life. I don’t understand how she could marry a guy who doesn’t seem capable, prior to marriage, of upholding any vows or respect.
Exactly.
He was cheating on her during pregnancy, as well, that’s not postpartum. In fact, even with a difficult pregnancy, that is often when things are their easiest. If you’re cheating in pregnancy, it’s definitely not stopping when the baby arrives and real challenges arise.
I wish more women would just say “I’m 38. I want a baby. I have the financial resources to care for a child on my own. You aren’t ideal, but you’re here and, as I said, I want a baby so let’s do this.”
Keshia Knight Pulliam could have told Porsha all about it.
I hope she doesn’t marry him. He’s going to do more BS. And their child looks just like him. I wouldn’t give him more opportunities to hurt me. I would extricate myself now. He likely isn’t worth the heartache; and she has her baby.
He also essentially says that he only finds sex with her good when sheâs perfect and perfectly fits his ideal of âsexyâ, which is disturbing and a huge red flag.
Heâs wrong too. I know men who were extremely attracted to their pregnant wives and it didnât affect their intimacy. SMH.
This is the root of the problem, IMO, and it ain’t going away.
Dump him, and peacefully co-parent. He is not partner material.
Anyhoo, adorable baby! Her expression makes her look like an old soul.
I’m glad she’s not fooled by his phony excuse and gives it no credibility, not sure why she would marry a cheater. It would save her a lot of hassle down the road if she doesn’t marry him. She’s so lovely and could do so much better. But I guess he’s a good talker and she thinks he’s not going to do it again.
The lowest of the low. Especially if it’s YOUR baby she had.
Some jackass on another site routinely calls Meghan Markle fat–which she’s not–but it’s just his raging sexism and vulgarity.
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okay so first off, he’s trash and throw the whole man out. secondly, how do you get postpartum depression before you give birth? sounds like he was cheating on her during the pregnancy and after. like I said, throw the whole man out.
Shred him and put him on the compost heap, at the very least. Then again.. ok, triple bag him with a tight knot, leave in the sun for 14 days, amd then dispose of with care.
What a disgusting man.
I dont know how she could take him back.
Yo, someone hold my earrings and my bag
The nerve of this man!!
She deserves so much better, but for anyone who’s watched over the years, we know this will take years to play out sadly
That comment would be a lot harder for me to let go of than the cheating itself. More fool her for taking him back.
While I think he’s absolute garbage for cheating this line did stick out:
“We cried together like every night. Thatâs not a good enough why, but thatâs the why.”
I don’t for a minute think it’s a woman’s job to babysit her baby daddy’s. Especially after giving birth, her priorities should be her health and her baby. But I also have seen a few genuinely great guys go through a phase of depression after a new baby. The key difference is that they weren’t out there cheating on their wives.
But I think a new baby is a huge adjustment for ANYONE. And while a man’s body doesn’t have to go through the hell that a woman’s does, there’s still absolutely an emotional impact. Some guys are absolutely thrilled and over the moon. Some guys get sleep deprived and cranky. Some guys get sad. Some guys get a mix of all of those things. And where he’s saying “we cried TOGETHER” it sounds to me like he was going through his own set of mental health issues.
Still no reason to cheat – that’s just a trashy move all around, even more stinging considering she had to grow and birth a baby.
But I wish there was a bit more discussion around mental health for ALL parents following the birth of a new family member.
This is common cheater behavior…blame the significant other, itâs very manipulative and controlling, and sickening. So now that sheâs forgiven him sheâll be on her best behavior so he wonât cheat again. What if she gets depressed again? He has an excuse to run off and cheat, same thing with pregnancy, since itâs ânot what a man wantsâ, heâs a fkng pig, sheâs too sweet for him and deserves better.
Exactly right. From the narcissist cheater playbook: blameshift your partner for not meeting your “needs,” then graciously allow them to “pick me” dance for you.
Porsha, you can do better than this guy. Toss his azz to the curb and enjoy your daughter.
@Dame Judi,
You sound like a chumplady reader đ
There are a lot of us out there! Lose a cheater, gain a life!
I also belong to the Chump Lady club!
Awww me too, Courtney. ChumpNation! The club no one wants to be in.
Chump Lady forever! Be mighty!
Ugh, me too. Let me pour out the wine while we’re all here.
Thank you, DameJudy. The “pick me” dance… wow, that really hit a nerve with me.
**Begin rant** If you can’t be faithful during the birth of your first child you’re a POS. He’s a manchild. He cheated because he wasn’t catered to 24/7??!!?? She was making a human being-of course pregnancy is rough. What the hell does he think this is?? So what, if they marry and she gets cancer it’ll be bye bye, ’cause you can’t cater to me. And oh, if she cheated on him, he’d leave her immediately. He’d never do for her what she’s doing for him. Just.throw.the.whole.man.away. **End Rant.**
Iâd never heard of them before (I donât watch ârealityâ tv), but this Dennis sounds like a real piece of work. Run, Porsha, run! And donât look back. You and your beautiful daughter deserve better.
I don’t know if my cousins husband has cheated on her during pregnancy as she doesn’t want to say which is fine but she has two kids and she always says that around her first trimester they always stop having sex as he feels he might hurt the baby. *eyeroll*
If she doesnât want to say, he probably has. đ
Maybe she herself doesn’t know. But men *can* go on periods of no sex with no cheating involved, let’s not reduce them to animals, it just gives them more excuses.
Ehhhhhh….. if you can use any reason to cheat, then…. you were waiting to cheat already.
She should leave absolutely. However, maybe she wants another baby? Have baby and then leave? It’s certainly a consideration for many mums I know struggling with their marriage. Hope she is well and happy. What a sweetie her daughter is
Dennis has a WELL EARNED reputation of being a POS to the women he deals with intimately and people he deals with on a business level….Considering Porsha’s history…I was not shocked nor surprised by her alliance with him…nor at the things that have gone down and will go down between them…
Sex during pregnancy is ânothing a man wants to doâ? Wow. Screw you and the horse you rode in on. Not all men find their pregnant partners to be physically repulsive.
Exactly! Lots of people get it on during pregnancy. What a pig. Porsha isn’t the greatest human being either. Poor little PJ. Also, her holiday decor looks like a department store. Tacky AF
Riiiiiight. Itâs down to her because she suffered/s (verb, past tense, from SUFFER: to undergo, be subjected to, or endure (pain, distress, injury, loss, or anything unpleasant), moron), PNND, wasnât pretty, skinny, sexy, energetic, whatever -whatever enough for him at the time his schhlong escaped his trousers and inserted itself into a foreign orifice. Of course face đ¤Śââď¸ his fiancĂŠe is âpartlyâ responsible. What a prize twat.
This wonât be the last time.
Pilar is adorable.
It’s not even the cheating that’s the biggest problem here–its that he fled when things got hard. He ran away when SHE NEEDED HIM THE MOST.
(I’m not going to elaborate on the pain and devastation of PPD since so many of us have first hand experience with it.
SĂŠx during pregnancy is ânothing a man wants to doâ? Who appointed this knob as the spokesperson for all men? What a vile piece of work he is.
Would any woman alive go for him after a crass statement like that? Postpartum is a chance for a partner to try to help, not help himself.
Throw the whole man away!
Despicable.
I just wanted to say that calling it a âmistake,â while a gross understatement, doesnât mean it wasnât a choice. You can make a choice and regret it – making a mistake.
If he doesnât find the body of his partner (who is growing their child in her uterus) sexually attractive then I hope he finds an incubator to give birth to his next child. She is a pretty woman and can always find another man who is ready to be a supportive partner and father to marry instead. Itâs hard starting over but better to start over now then 5 or 10 years from now.
Throw the whole man out and start over. What an effing jerk.
Porsha needs to run.
Who are these people?
I don’t watch any of the Housewives on the regular but Atlanta is my favorite group and I like Porsha. I think she’s pretty funny and I find her butt mesmerizing, in a good way. That thing about him not finding her attractive while pregnant is despicable. I really hope they don’t get married, it’s so obviously doomed if they do.
Wow, Iâve never heard of any of these people before but Porsha is a beautiful woman and imho way out of this guyâs league!
Blaming a partner for your infidelity is disturbing at the best of times. Blaming your pregnant/newly post partum partner for your cheating is unacceptable.
He sounds like a pig and I’m not defending his cheating, but I just wanted to throw out there that living with a depressed spouse can be absolute hell on Earth. I would never cheat, but when my husband was very sick with depression for 2 solid years, I dreaded coming home every single night. I can see how those circumstances could lead someone who was inclined to cheat to do so.
Ugh…. this guy is such a loser! He obviously wasnât helping out that much with the baby if he had time to go out and screw other women while she is home with a newborn. I hate the excuse that she was pregnant and had post partum issues. Somehow that makes your d*** have total control over you and pleasuring yourself more important than taking care of your partner and new baby?! Grow up!
She is so pretty!
“Sex during pregnancy, itâs nothing what a man wants to do ⌔
What the actual fuck is this guy talking about?? Because a woman’s body expands, changes, shifts during pregnancy a man doesn’t want to touch that in a sexual way? Not a real man, that’s for damn sure. Reading those words makes me want to break something. It’s not enough that we as women are responsible for growing a child for 10 months but we should also understand that our man will find us sexually repulsive because of it?!?!? Dump the garbage at the curb. This creature is in no way a MAN.
I think she is staying with him because she wants her daughter raised in a two parent household.I have never heard Porsha mention her father.I have only seen her mother.I wonder if her father was in her life.I don’t watch the RHOA faithfully but I have seen it off an on over the years.I may be wrong but I know several women who have stayed with cheaters for their kids,to keep family intact.
Porsha is a very pretty girl but must suffer from insecurities. She was married to man who is said to be on the DL now there’s this guy. Maybe she’ll get some therapy to figure out why she chooses to be with these problematic men. Like her choices comment about his cheating she chooses poorly when it comes to mates.
Oh how nice. She was willing to carry your child for 9 months, go through the painful process of birthing your child and take on all of the accompanying physical and mental risks and you can’t even have the respect for her and the common decency to keep it in your pants for a while. I don’t know who these people are but if I was in her position I would know enough now to leave that marriage. He’s weakminded and she doesn’t need to be wasting her time on that bull. If he wants to sleep with other women be a grown up about it and end the marriage first.