As we discussed previously, it looks like Kaia Gerber hasn’t spent much time with Pete Davidson since his breakdown around Christmas. Kaia’s parents, Cindy Crawford and Rande Gerber, were on hand in New York to act as buffers when Pete was apparently in very bad shape. Considering Kaia and Pete only “officially” started dating as soon as she turned 18, this whole affair just read as too much, too soon for Kaia. I credited Cindy and Rande for playing it smart and basically just keeping Kaia close at hand for the past three weeks or so. Now it’s looking like everything probably worked out for the best: Pete is apparently seeking treatment, and he and Kaia have majorly cooled off.
Kaia Gerber and Pete Davidson are at a crossroads in their relationship. With the New Year in full swing, it appears the Saturday Night Live star is making his mental health a priority in 2020. A source tells E! News Pete is “taking a break to work on his mental health,” which means his relationship with the model is moving to the back-burner. According to the insider, “It became very clear that he had to go and do this and couldn’t wait any longer.” This is his second time seeking treatment, his first being in 2016.
News of his decision to seek help comes after his girlfriend’s parents Cindy Crawford and Rande Gerber intervened in their relationship. Around the holidays, the famous celebs were spotted in an intense conversation outside of their daughter’s New York City apartment, which Pete was later spotted leaving. At the time, a source explained to E! News Cindy and Rande were trying to “guide [Kaia] and to help Pete through a difficult time.”
Days after their tense discussion was shared with the world, Pete went on SNL to reveal he was “going on ‘vacation’ but insurance pays for some of it, and they take your phone and shoelaces.” Despite Pete’s jovial nature, viewers understood this to mean he was going to enter rehab, as he’s an open-book when it comes to his mental health. Since then, Kaia, Cindy and Rande have returned to Los Angeles, with no further sightings of Kaia and Pete. It’s unclear what role, if any, they played in Pete’s choice to prioritize his well-being, but now that he’s getting the help he needs, the entire family seems to be taking a step back from the situation, including Kaia.
A second source reveals Pete is in “a program,” which has made it so he and Kaia “haven’t had a lot of contact.” Moreover, the same insider says Kaia “doesn’t know if she wants to continue in their relationship,” especially since she “wasn’t comfortable with what she saw and doesn’t know if she can handle it…What she saw happen with Pete was very concerning and scary for her… She cares about Pete and wants him to get better,” the insider explains. “But their future is very much up in the air.”
A third source says Pete “understands” how Kaia feels and “knows he needs to focus on his mental health.” Whether they call it quits or not, the third insider says there’s “no bad blood between the two.”
Kaia “wasn’t comfortable with what she saw and doesn’t know if she can handle it…What she saw happen with Pete was very concerning and scary for her.” Yeah, and there’s zero shame in that. I actually think it’s brave and probably a self-preservation mechanism to say “you know what, I can’t handle this and it’s not my f–king problem, I’m out.” Save yourself first. Kaia is 18 and she’s not a therapist. This was always too much for her first real relationship (it would be too much for any relationship, honestly, but it killed me that this was her first boyfriend).
Photos courtesy of Backgrid.
I highly doubt that was her first relationship.
Good that he is seeking help, you can’t make someone happy when you can’t make yourself happy and healthy.
There’s no shame in whatever problems he has, be it substance abuse, physical or emotional problems, or all of the above. I hope that he is getting the help that he needs, but it doesn’t seem like he is? I could be wrong. There is something serious there for so many of his exes and Cindy and Rande to run for the hills. It’s freightening to watch.
It sounds like he’s in a treatment program. And if he is, it makes sense that he’s not in contact with Kaia a lot, or at all. Lots of mental health and substance abuse inpatient treatment programs have very strict rules about visiting, who is allowed to visit and when, and even phone calls: who is allowed to call and when. You have to “earn” those privileges by following your treatment program, being in the program for a certain amount of time, and even then, sometimes who can contact you is restricted to family members and your spouse. And oftentimes, you can’t call out. People have to call you. Often, you are allowed to write to whoever you want, but your incoming letters might be read.
He’s been diagnosed with BiPolar and he readily admits he self medicates with street drugs which can be scary when they are in an up phase. She’s a very young girl, she doesn’t need all that responsibility.
He’s not bipolar. He has borderline personality disorder. It is frequently abbreviated as “BPD” which people assume is bipolar disorder, but it’s a very different thing.
I believe he has spoken about having Borderline Personality Disorder, which is very difficult to treat and deal with especially in conjunction with the use of drugs and/or alcohol. It results in severe mood swings, intense depression, feelings of emotional abandonment, bursts of anger and makes relationships with other people very difficult. So I hope his “rehab” or whatever is including getting sober too. And I am sure Kaia saw the unstableness as a result of his BPD and good for her for taking care of herself and realizing she cannot save him; only he can do that!!!
@Amyb
You have nailed it and there is also “splitting” formerly called “black and white thinking.” They idolize and demonize people close to them and are terrified of abandonment, yet they frequently push people away (and then charm them back).
Borderline Personality Disorder is very treatable but it’s difficult to get them to see that they actually need the help and that they actually can be helped. I was formerly in a relationship with someone with BPD and it is NOT fun at all. It is crazy making. And it makes me a little bit disgusted that Pete has so many resources to pay for help and doesn’t do it because a lot of people cannot afford the treatment which was true a my former relationship.
I hope that Pete Davidson will truly once and for all seek ongoing treatment for his BPD. I understand that the treatment must remain in place for the rest of their life.
As an aside, I was in the library recently and I picked up a biography of Cary Grant. I read a few excerpts, especially regarding his relationship with Dyan Cannon. It was utterly shocking. He obviously had borderline personality disorder, with much worse acting out than I experienced. He took LSD to self-medicate.
Pete goes to very expensive doctors and therapists regularly and it’s not working.
Borderline personality disorder is not very easily treatable. In fact, personality disorders are the least easily treatable of all mental health disorders, because they are ingrained traits of the personality. Therapy and meds can help but it takes a lot of commitment from a person.
@milkweed
Good. One has to lay off recreational drugs and alcohol for the therapy to be effective though, and it seems Pete is still using? My ex is sober from alcohol and still had trouble controlling the BPD paranoia, confusion, meltdowns and acting out.
Not like 100% of people who are not Pete Davidson did not see this ultimate outcome well in advance. Hopefully she will hook up with someone more stable next time around.
I don’t think Pete is her first boyfriend but I think this is her first very public relationship and I think it might be her first relationship with an older man. Once she turned 18, she was probably like “I am legal to do what I want!” (Except drink) and went after the first older guy who gave her attention. Pete would be difficult for an adult woman to deal with so I can’t imagine a teenager managing him. I think this was an important lesson for Kaia–just because you are 18 does not mean you are emotionally mature to deal with someone whose mental health is volatile. She’s also very lucky her parents got involved and talked sense into her.
Now that does not mean that Pete doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship and happy but I do judge him for pursuing a relationship with an 18 year old. He has been emotionally unstable for years and I know at the root of it is probably losing his father so young in such a traumatic event. But he has a pattern of self destructive behavior and it’s telling none of his relationships have lasted longer than a few months since Cazzie David (they were together for 2 years? She must have seen some s***). I’m glad he’s getting treatment but he seems like the kind of person who will always be living on the edge and just bad news.
Pete’s story is just very sad. I hope he gets the help that he needs. This couple made little sense, and she’s just such a young girl…she will be better off with someone her age. I read this morning on the Daily Mail (I know?!?!?!? Its awful, but I can’t help myself) that they broke up. I am not sure if that report is true, but I would not be surprised.
I wish Kaia had gone to college like her Mom. Though Cindy dropped out after modeling, so I guess the trajectory makes sense for Kaia. Too bad, since Cindy was the valedictorian of her HS class. Not that she wasn’t wildly successful and famous without it, but I think for many that college gives you something that no one can take away – an education, belief in yourself, confidence, etc.
I like him, but he clearly needs serious help and is not capable of having a healthy relationship with others when he’s not yet stable/healthy himself. He needs to stop replacing people, get comfortable being alone, not be so codependent, and confront/create a more stabilized sober identity
I agree – he’s had a couple of very high profile, intense, and short-lived relationships lately, and he really needs to focus on his own well being and happiness before he can be healthy in a relationship. I hope whatever treatment he’s doing is working for him, it’s a lot to work through and I wish him well.