Back in the pre-Sussex era, I remember there were a few stories, here and there, about how the Duchess of Cambridge worked to cull William’s group of bro-friends. In the early years of the Cambridge marriage, William still liked to socialize and party with his school friends, and there were even a few stories about how he would get sloppy drunk and pull youthful shenanigans, which grates on one’s nerves when you realize he was in his early 30s at the time. Anyway, Kate eventually got William to edit some people out of his life, which is normal – you get married, you have kids, friendships change and evolve and sometimes end altogether. The same thing happened with the Sussexes, only the timeline was compressed and it feels like Harry realized during Meghan’s pregnancy that a lot of friends sucked?
Many close to Prince Harry are concerned about the growing distance between him and the rest of the royal family — especially given that he has recently pulled away from many longtime friends. A well-connected source tells PEOPLE in this week’s cover story that the Queen’s grandson, 35, “cut off” many of his close pals “about six months into” Meghan Markle‘s pregnancy with son Archie, born May 6.
“Most no longer even have his cell number,” says the insider. “They totally understand that men often drift from their friends after marriage, but there’s still a lot of resentment because they had been so close for so long.”
One exception is Charlie van Straubenzee. The pals met at Ludgrove Prep School and have remained close ever since — in fact, they were all smiles attending each other’s weddings just months apart in 2018. Van Staubenzee is also a godfather to Archie.
Meghan, 38, remains close to many of her friends from her pre-royal days. It is believed that Archie stayed in Canada with Meghan’s longtime pal Jessica Mulroney, whose three children served as page boys and a flower girl in the couple’s royal wedding in May 2018, while the Duke and Duchess of Sussex returned to London last week for engagements. In addition, Meghan’s Suits costar Abigail Spencer was spotted with the couple during a New Year’s Day hike. Both women also attended Meghan’s baby shower in Feb. 2019, held in New York City.
I’m sure a lot of people will take this as a sign that Meghan is super-controlling, or that Harry is putting all of his friendship eggs in Meghan’s basket or whatever. It just reminds me of how Harry had already been doing work on himself before he even met Meghan – he was trying to improve, trying to become a better man before 2016. I would imagine that he had already begun phasing out some people, but when he married Meghan and she got pregnant, everything was in sharper relief, you know? A lot of toxic people showing their toxic asses during that time. I was going to say “Harry needs his own friends,” but I actually think he probably has a lot of people he’s close to, they just aren’t his OLD friends, the ones who still party, they ones who kiss up to William, the ones who talked sh-t about Meg, etc.
Photos courtesy of Backgrid and Avalon Red, WENN.
I bet Harry cut out a lot of his mutual friends with William. If he thought that William was leaking, then it seems like an obvious choice. I also imagine he probably realized how privileged, classist and racist many of his friends were, so stuck with the ones who weren’t.
People who know Harry outside of the good ol’ boys club of the aristocracy sing his praises and particularly praise Sussexit, so I don’t think the issue is Harry cut off all his friends.
Yes his military and polo friends still praise him as a good lad, I think he will be ok.
Agree completely with you and Kaiser. Harry was no longer the hard partying, substance abusing good time Charlie. I think he simply was in a place to pause and look at the people he was choosing to allow into his life and shed the ass kissers and Aristo party boys — some of them already on 2nd or 3rd marriage. I imagine those bro’s had real problems with a smart, articulate, focused, successful woman like Meghan. Not to mention her Americanness, her career, her blackness. I’m sure the bro’s threw some sly quips and jabs at Harry thinking good old ROYAL Aristo Harry would find it funny. I think Harry just had a giant growth leap.
William also cut off friends when he and Kate got married and there was no outrage over that, so it’s all double standards.
And yeah I agree that due to the problems between the brothers it’s only natural that Harry would have cut out those he shared with his brother.
So true, on both points.
ITA @Becks1.
And if you’re complaining he cut you out, well that’s a big glaring reason right there.
He cut them off likely because they weren’t positive about his relationship with Meghan. I can’t think of why else he would end relationships with these people.
@becks1, yes, Pelly was William’s friend and Kate hung out with Harbord. As for Inskip, how can anyone question Harry’s dropping him since Skippy both told Harry not to marry Meghan and has openly been bitching about being excluded from since before the wedding. Articles were reporting before the wedding about his being put out by not getting an invite to the post-wedding evening bash. The guy is not only an asshole but indiscrete as well!
Becks1, this makes sense. They may have been immature, racist, or in with William for the attacks on Meghan. We’ve seen Harry changing and maturing for years. The interview with Prince Seeiso around the time of the engagement? He talked about how they (reporters) had no idea who Harry really is. Seeiso has been there to watch and help Harry grow for 15 years.
As for William maturing? He got so drunk at the wedding in the US a few years ago (without Kate), he fell and broke a tooth.
Fact is, it’s just harder to maintain friendships when you have little kids, even if you have a supportive partner. It takes a lot of effort. Kids wake up at 6am regardless of whether you were out all night. And they’ll miss you if you miss bedtime. That’s just life. Good friends will understand and work with your new schedule/life, and friends that were just friends of circumstance like party friends, well…
I think growing up royal he probably has trust issues so he doesn’t mind a smaller circle. People will still try to get close to him anyway. I don’t know about others but I’m contented having few friends as I get older. Of course Meghan will be blamed.
Anyway now he has made a family, it is what he has wanted all along. Maybe he wants that family time to himself. Diana died around the same age, I think he knows how precious time is.
In addition to your reasons, it is not unusal that during the time of starting a family and raising children friends are moved to the background.
Maybe I’m being too simplistic here, but William and Kate likely have some of the same issues that all parents and married couples have–how they spend their time, who their friends are, and let’s not forget to throw in the fact that they’re royals and have duties attached. Not perfect lives, and not without the normal kinds of challenges all couples face. It’s just that we scrutinize them more than other couples. Imagine living your life in the public as much as they have to? I think they’re doing a great job considering everything. About Harry & Meghan, that’s a different story altogether.
I figure Harry’s friends probably made comments that Harry 15 years ago would have made some himself
But since dating Meghan, he’s realised just how racist his aristo friends are and realised his behaviour hasn’t always been amazing (I don’t forgive him for that nazi costume but at least Harry is showing some growth).
Hence he cut them off and decided “fuck that”. His friends get confused because the Harry they know (or thought they did) would have laughed right along with it.
Hence why they blame Meghan for Harry “changing” and why they think she controls him
@sofia – I bet you’re exactly right!
Exactly. What are the odds at least one of these aristo-bros said something racist to Harry about Meghan and or baby-to-be, followed by a “I’m just kidding, mate.” I’m betting those odds are high.
I think this actually showed up at their wedding. Many of the partying aristos weren’t invited to the evening reception, but many people who Harry works with on his charities were. His friend group has shifted as he became more invested in his causes.
I agree. When people grow and mature, and others don’t, sometimes those others get left behind, or grow in different directions.
I doubt any of us are still best friends with every single friend we had when younger. Life happens and people change.
I think Harry and Meghan need to be super-clear that Canadian tax-payers will not be responsible for their security needs. This is a big issue for Canadians and the couple either need to get the British to pay or pay themselves. I do think they need MI6 to protect them, as they are the best at this. I think Canadians will balk if they have to foot the bill. I also believe that the couple desperately need high-level protection as they are vulnerable to hateful people.
I’m a Canadian and I have no issues with paying their security bills when they are in Canada. As we do with everyone else.
As a member of the British family and in Harry’s case a high profile veteran they have to receive security.
You’re exactly right. That’s what gets me about every time this is brought up, there are oligarchs prancing all around Canada (some of them not entirely aligned with the best interests of Canada & Western democracies at their cores either) that national and local authorities already invest your tax dollars into to protecting them and not a single Harry/Megan moaner ever bring them up.
Those two being a veteran and a long-time resident of the country, decent people, whose only goals are to serve the public and charitable interests as best they can. But every Russian/Eastern Europe oligarch who just wants to party at their blood-money paid for properties in GTA and Banff and whenever while they scheme to use the country for shady business deals trying to bypass other countries sanctions on them- they’re okay to get extra protection.
To jFerber —. Can you not jack this thread to go on about whose paying what. It’s only been a little over a week. Give them a chance to sort this out.
Honestly the whining is so irritating. No one has any idea what will happen (beyond speculating from articles and “he said, she said” claims), and people are crying as if they’ve already been told they have to pay. Get a grip and calm down, Canadian commenters.
There shouldn’t be anything to sort out though. They have more than enough money to pay for their own security, so they should pay for their own security. If they just say they’ll do that, then it’s sorted.
State provided security should be there for people who don’t have the ability to pay for protection teams, not for people who could hire a small army but who’d rather wait and see if anyone else is willing to pick up the tab.
@JA Lowcountry Lady yep. The entire subject has become another dog whistle comment online everywhere, with no facts as of yet.
Agree w/ Beach Dreams. Give them a MINUTE. This is not going to get figured out right away and they have CLEARLY stated from jump street that they want to be financially independent — and I would have to imagine that does NOT include sticking the Canadian citizens with their security bill.
@Lilly Nor wanting to foot the bill for the Sussexes is not dog whistling. The royal family is behind a horrific history of colonialism and genocide in Canada, and we’re still dealing with the fallout every day. Not wanting to pay for their privileged lifestyle while reservations here still don’t have clean drinking water is absolutely justifiable, so don’t tell us how we should feel about the royals.
@jferber – Troll
(that comment has nothing to do with the story and is just trying to stir things up)
back off, baby cause we are still in mourning from a plane crash, and they are still in discussions, and I for one am very vocal that we WILL protect them until they can get themselves sorted because IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO. So back off and quit with the thread-jacking. There are no FACTS to discuss, so until there are, back off.
Thank you. I’ve said it before but there are a lot of ‘new’ Canadians who are suddenly VERY concerned about Canadian taxes. Meanwhile, the country is still mourning its dead.
Maybe these folks would care if the victims hadn’t been Iranian-Canadian.
This thread is about Harry’s ‘friends’. There’s probably a good reason why they don’t hear from Harry and maybe they should look to themselves instead of blaming Harry’s wife.
We can be in mourning and also object to having to foot the bill for these colonizers’ lives. We can wait to see how it shakes out, but the royals represent something very ugly to a lot of Canadians who were subjected to cultural and physical genocide, and we are allowed our opinion, too.
If he’s Governor General of Canada, than he’ll get the security that one is entitled to as Governor General. From the news I heard earlier today, it sounds like that’s the direction they’re heading in.
Harry isn’t going to be Governor General of Canada. Not sure where you heard this. The role always goes to Canadians and currently, the position is filled.
We already have a GG and the role is ALWAYS designated for a Canadian citizen. No where has it been stated that Harry would be considered for the position. What you’re reading is mere conjecture.
@jferber: This thread isn’t about M&H paying taxes, or Harry becoming Governor General (we already have a fine one thank you very much and her term is likely to last at least another 4 years.) I don’t understand this bandwagon of bitchers moaning about how we’re all going to go broke IF we end up paying what probably amounts to a toonie per capita for a portion of the cost of security. NOTHING has been decided so will everyone please stop frothing at the mount.
They’re probably a bunch of racist twats.
I think so….
Well, considering it’s some of these same friends who supposedly mocked Kate for years as “doors to manual” and “Wisteria sisters”, Harry probably had good reason to distance himself once he married Meghan.
Friendships evolving as marriage and children occur is pretty common. Priorities shift and if your friends are still single and partying then that’s an even wider divide. Factoring in that Harry’s friends are aristos who are more than likely racist as hell its no wonder friendships have disintegrated.
Friends who aren’t dicks are the ones who still have his cell.
Charlie, who is a childhood friend, is godfather to Archie, so Harry hasn’t cut off ones who have some sense.
People Mag trying to help with the smear campaign against Meghan stateside I see.
Is it confirmed? I thought Archie’s grand parents are secret.
I hate that we think that this is the right route to take because society says that once you’re over 30 you need to be settling down, having kids, in a relationship and not hanging out with people from your past. Nobody should have to cut off their friends post marriage. Lots of ladies seem to do this with their husbands and I feel like a lot of it comes down to insecurities about their husbands still going out and having a good time. Giving up your old life and changing once you get married often doesn’t seem sustainable long term.
Right. Besides he used to be one of them, he changed and grew up. Why not give them the chance and the time to grow up before erasing them? I don’t understand. She did the same with many friends of hers, as well. Why? I think there is no need to ghost people changing numbers and everything.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say its because those friends weren’t growing up.
I don’t think I gave up anything, actually. My real friends are still there. The situational ones, who were friends because we were in the same office/went to the same bar/knew the same people, but whom I didn’t rely on and don’t have much in common with are no longer around now that I’m not showing up for happy hour every week. It’s not really a loss.
The longer I live the more I realize that relationships require work, both emotional and otherwise. There are finite hours in the day and finite energy to give. I prioritize my kids, my husband, and the friends who put in reciprocal work.
My best friend from childhood not too long ago told me they’ve stopped hanging out with some of her husband’s friends because they aren’t married with kids and “just don’t get it”.
I am not married and don’t have kids. I kind of let that one sit a minute and just replied “huh.” I still don’t know if she realized what she said.
I’ve got friends who aren’t married with kids who “get it” and friends who don’t. It’s hard when you’re not the top priority anymore. Some people handle it better than others.
but if those friends were (as someone above so aptly said) racist twats, why shouldn’t they?
this is not a (pardon the pun) black and white issue. sure, some friends are worth keeping, but you can’t make a blanket statement that “nobody should have to cut off their friends post marriage”. I’ve cut people out of my life that I’ve known for a long time because they 1) continued to party like we were in our twenties well into our forties 2) voted for 45 3) became a wack job antivaxxer who thinks Planned Parenthood sells baby parts 4) married a total racist pr*ck, which makes me not want to be around them AND makes me question THEIR beliefs.
people need to make their own decisions about who they keep in their life in order to keep themselves mentally healthy, and there is no hard and fast rule that applies to what friends you MUST KEEP.
Definitely – getting married/having kids shouldn’t be a cut off for people, but racism and other issues like you mentioned, absolutely!
I disagree — if your old friends aren’t supportive of you improving yourself, or not on the same page, on the contrary, I think it’s healthy to streamline those in your circle who are not helping you become your best self.
It is normal, but not because of insecurities about the husbands going out for a guys night. Look how many people the tabledoids have claimed that Meghan also isnt in touch with anymore. They both still have friends from highschool/college/work that they had before the marriage. They didnt cut everyone off. Its normal in life to outgrow previous relationships. I imagine in Harry’s life where hes also dealing with hanger-ons and snitches, it’s even more normal. I dont know a single person who has maintained every single relationship they’ve ever formed. When your life goes in a certain direction, not everyone comes along for the ride.
No one is saying settle down and get married by 30. BUT, whether you get married or not, a committed relationship will likely irk some people in your inner circle, especially those party friends (think wingman/wingwoman) that are used to having you on speed dial. When I met my boyfriend, I had a friend who scolded me for “disappearing” even though I would still call her once or twice a week (we lived in different cities). Ultimately, she couldn’t be happy for me that I had new priorities and created a competition element. If you put your spouse first, some people can’t deal with that.
I thought we didn’t know who Archie’s godparents were? So is this legit confirmation, because he would make sense as a godfather as one of Harry’s best friends, or is this the usual speculation?
No confirmation of Archie’s godparents.
Just speculation.
I thought there was a picture of him arriving at the Christening like one of Harry’s childhood nannies?
That doesn’t make him one of the godparents. It means he may have attended the christening.
Considering who attends the schools he attended … eh. They’re a certain set of people, a set he probably sees with different eyes now.
This.
When you start dating and then marry a black person, many people discover that their family and a chunk of their friends are a bunch of casual racists with double standards.
^^^EXACTLY. I’m white, married a black man. People I knew had/have a wide range of reactions and showed me some things i didn’t knew they had in them. It’s sad.
People really hate that Harry grew up
Seriously! Dude he grew into a functional adult. He has a job and family and doesn’t have as much time to bar hop. It happens.
This is more like some covert hate-bait against Meghan– people are going to use this to blame this all on her, rather than realize Harry is a grown man and has a young son to shield from all of this foolery. Imagine growing up and seeing this kind of trash spoken about your mother whom you love, as a little kid… its gotta be on another level.
I understand that his protective instincts are to the nines right now. It was literally over 1k comments to this article on another site, all hating on Meghan for “doing this to” him.
The biggest sign a man is in love with you is when he becomes protective. He’s only trying to protect his wife and child from utter nonsense….is at least how I choose to interpret this.
OMG, Jesus Christ. Maybe they shouldn’t have been run out of town. The growing concern is hysterical at this point. Concern. Sure.
Wait wait wait. You mean a man growing up, finding love, and having a family suddenly doesn’t want to hang out with his single party bros?
Color me shocked.
I find joy in the relatable and simple. Meghan describing spending evenings with Harry at home, prior to marriage cooking chicken together. These two with their involvement with public service enjoying their life together and being with friends is what we do.
Just here to say that Holy Crap! He looks like Prince Phillip in that header photo
@Cassandra. Agree there are times Harry looks so much like a young Pr Philip. I never bought the bs claims that he wasn’t Charles’s child.
Yes, he is definitely Philip’s grandson! He resembles his grandfather’s side more than anyone else in the family and doesn’t seem to have much of the Windsor genes (except maybe the baldness). In some old photographs Philip appears to have a least strawberry blond hair, but the striking red hair is a true Spencer trait.
Are these the friends that thought it was hilarious when he dressed up as a Nazi back when? Because I feel like Harry has changed and matured a lot since those days, and if you change significantly to try and be better sometimes you might need to distance yourself from people who want to pull you back to bad habits. Like if someone is a recovering alcoholic they might not hang out with their old drinking buddies any more.
Another example of how abuse isolates people too.
It appears he cut out the friends that keep running to the tabloids to whine that Harry cut them out.
Even if he didn’t have a child or get married, relationships just change over time. You don’t keep the same friends – no one really does.. It’s like seasons, and those friendship seasons can range from short to long term. Most people I know only have one or two friends or people they still keep in touch with from childhood or even through college/early 20’s.
I had the same two friends since middle school, and then through high school and college. Once they got married (I introduced one to her husband), we still hung out. But when they had kids? I got phazed out as I was unmarried and childless. It hurt at the time. (Hey, I was willing to babysit).
On FB, I see that one of my former friends is now a hard core Trumper, and racist and homophobic. So, I get Harry sh*tcanning those. Friendships grow and change. Harry has matured, his friends haven’t.
Maybe some of these close friends are the same ones who have scampered to the tabs to complain about how Meghan has changed Harry or snark about her? Also thinking of the Tatler takedown of Meghan last year that included cranky comments about how she acted on a country shooting weekend, complaints about friends not being invited to the wedding reception, other stories with nasty comments about how she wants to sit by Harry at dinner parties, etc.
If not, maybe it is just the natural evolution of friendships and yes sometimes they go on the back burner as having a partner, kid, and a job are a lot of commitment and time.
Oh god, this again? This is normal! I actually cut someone out completely who was intervening in my relationship regularly. It made me sad at the time, but you cannot allow any kind of triangulation or destructive behavior to impact the future of a committed relationship. And this was before marriage/kids. Unfortunately, both male and female friends who are used to having your full attention and your willingness to go out and drink, or flirt or travel, whatever it is, cannot accept when your availability shifts and your intentions change. It’s quite a litmus test whether they accept the inevitable lifestyle change that comes with commitment.
Nothing wrong in some of the friendship phasing out on getting married having kids etc.. but Dude needs to remember that he make sure he will be okay with/ without megan. That means he needs protect his interest, his family connection, most of his friendships if he has any, his own identity. His things. His people. Otherwise he is air head. The same thing to her i will say bc in my opinion is as important as protecting your new family now for famous/public people not?
Both Harry and Meghan have still have friends from before they met each other. Archie’s God parents are speculated to be one of Meghan’s old friends and one of Harry’s old friends. Notice this said it started during the pregnancy, not the marriage. Meaning if this is even true, they cut toxic people out for Archies sake, not for each others.
My guess is that most of his old friends are racist, elitist twats who probably spend their trust funds on coke and hookers. He knows the kind of people they are and probably doesn’t want to hang out with people who look down on his wife and child.
I always thought Harry had some questionable friends in his younger days. They seemed like they enabled him. They also like to go to the tabs and talk. Chelsy’s “friend” went to the tabs after the wedding and talked about Harry cutting her out completely. He cut out the bad and kept the good.
I think it’s pretty normal in your thirties to have a “Come to Jesus” moment about the kind of people you really want in your life. There’s sometimes straggling friendships that really should have ended or faded out that are sticking around, and you realize they aren’t worth maintaining, even if there’s no clear toxic or problematic element to it. We just grow past or away from each other sometimes. In his case, I suspect that if some of those friendships ended over not so great issues (backstabbing, passive or outright racism, etc.) it may have been a moment of asking himself exactly what kind of person he wanted to be.
I went through this too. I chose to cut off one female friend who came to visit and started offering sex up to my soon-to-be husband. I also phased out male friendships that I felt were incapatible with a happy marriage. I chose to stay close to friends who were good influences, who edified our relationship, and had balanced personalities. I have my own issues with depression and anxiety, and it’s just not worth it to me to have people throwing extra drama into my already busy life. These choices have made it easier for my husband and I to stay together for 18 years and raise happy, well-adjusted children. I kept most of my longtime friendships and don’t regret it at all.
Just because some of these cut off individuals claim to be hurt over lost friendship doesn’t necessarily mean Harry viewed them as good friends. I tolerated people in my youth that at some point I realized were not ones I wanted to associate with any longer or subject my family to. It happens, people grow in different directions. I trust Harry to decide for himself who is friends are.
People grow up and friendships change. It sounds like to true friendships, with those who were Harry’s friends and not William’s and who respect his privacy, are still intact. It is the “party friends” or those who are more loyal to William, that have been phased out and are unhappy about it. Harry has been doing a lot of growing and becoming more work-focused in the past years as he left the military and became more involved in charity work. He also seems to want to be a more involved husband and father than most of his former friends, which would change the dynamic of those friendships.
A lot of these toffs make convenient marriages and then spend their post honeymoon years chasing tail. Maybe Harry genuinely loves his wife and doesn’t want to be a part of the wife swapping club?
Does anyone remember the blog katemiddletonreview?
It’s human development. It is totally normal for couples (especially expectant couples) to become more self or family focused. For expectant couples, it is part of nesting (so says 54 year old mom of {young} adult kids), and readying for the nuclear family.
I hope the nasty press doesn’t make any bigger deal of it than they ridiculously already have.
This is reminding me far too much of the whole sh-tty Olivia Munn thing where her idiotic ex-boyfriend’s family pushed the story that she forced Aaron Rodgers to cut ties with them. At any rate, I hate this idea with all of my heart. Toxic people get pissed when they’re faced with the consequences of their behaviour, and I’m willing to bet that more than one of this particular aristocratic set was toxic up to their eyeballs.
I did the same thing too when I got married. It wasn’t because I felt above my friends or because my husband wanted me to. It was because I married a Muslim of a different sect from my girlfriends and they made a few sectarian and disparaging comments I didn’t appreciate. Especially since I am of that sect (they didn’t know). And I saw the change in them. Or maybe not change, just who they really are? The fact that I married a Muslim of a certain sect who is younger than me and I eloped in spite YEARS of saying I am not a wedding person and when I meet the one I will elope seemed to be an issue. I got sick shortly after marrying and these women hardly reached out to follow up. They stopped wishing me happy birthday and happy eid. It went from Asiyah’s birthday must be celebrated (always against my wishes since I hate my birthday) to not even a text. And I was in a major subway derailment in NYC that led to my evacuation and I was shaken up about it and none of them followed up.
Three years later I moved to Australia (my husband is from here and due to Trump’s ban he couldn’t get a permanent visa in the USA) and I don’t speak to any of those women anymore. They don’t have my new number. I don’t even think they know I moved. They can blame my husband all they want but he was just what made me see how closed-minded and selfish they are. They never really cared about me. People can blame my husband or Meghan all they want but me and Harry did this all on our own. Setting boundaries is key.