Renee Zellweger v. Laura Dern: which Oscar-winner got the better Armani?

Renee Zellweger, Laura Dern in the press...

All of my voodoo worked! I’m so happy that after My Nemesis, Laura Dern, swept all of the major awards this season, she now has to look at herself in photos forever where she’s wearing this dreadful boob-tasseled Armani gown. Laura Dern has access to the best designers and she seems “well liked” by fashion people… and this was the best she could come up with? I love it. I love how bad it is. I was rooting for this and thank you to all of the people who were like “hahaha, your nemesis’s dress is so bad!” This is why prayer circles and voodoo dolls work, people. Not only is the dress kind of terrible, but her styling sucked too – that hair!! It was a 1950s helmet.

The other actress winner, Renee Zellweger, ended up in Armani too, which surprises me for many reasons. Usually, Best Supporting Actress and Best Actress are not wearing the same designer. And Renee, more so than Laura, has access to the best from all the major designers. And she went with Armani… and not Prada, Dior, Chanel, Carolina Herrera, etc. Now, that being said, My Nemesis was probably pissed off at how Renee got the “good” Armani. Renee’s gown is FAR superior.

Also, even though I’ve been calling Laura my nemesis this whole awards season, it turned out that Renee annoyed me so much more than Dern last night. WTF was happening in Renee’s speech? Go back and rewatch this and how bonkers it is when she just goes off the rails in minute three of her rambling.

Renee Zellweger at arrivals for The 92nd...

Oscars 2020 Arrivals

Oscars 2020 Press Room

Renee Zellweger at arrivals for The 92nd...

Oscars 2020 Arrivals

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red and WENN.

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63 Responses to “Renee Zellweger v. Laura Dern: which Oscar-winner got the better Armani?”

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  1. SarSte says:

    Renee looks lovely. It isn’t anything ground breaking, but… at least she doesn’t look like a lamp shade.

    • Love Rene. Have been a big fan for years. I love her sense of fashion and think she has knocked it out of the park for this awards season. Also, unlike many on this site, I loved her performance as Judy. That said, her speeches have all been cringe-worthy. I don’t watch awards shows but you can catch any highlight on YouTube anymore. I pull up her speeches and quit halfway through them. I don’t know what the hell is going on with how awkward and uncomfortable and unfocused she is. I think anybody competing for an award with the possibility of having to give an acceptance speech should study British actors’ acceptance speeches. They all — almost consistently — give a great thanks in a very moving and often amusing way. (Practice! — what’s wrong with preparing?). Rene must know that she tends to give long, rambling, disjointed speeches so why not prep something?

  2. Scollins says:

    No contest. The white gown is gorgeous. Same for hair, Rene’s compliments dress while Dern’s is ugh.

    • josephine says:

      I didn’t get Dern’s hair at all. It was awful and so distracting. Her dress did compliment her figure, but nothing else was right about it.

      • (TheOG)jan90067 says:

        All she needed to complete it was a feathered headband and a lacy garter (á la Western saloon gal). Not a fan.

        Renée has KILLED it this award season. She looked gorgeous. Have to agree though: did she take something to calm her nerves? She rambled like this in other speeches; after a point her “accent” came out, and then she spoke w/out it, then with it. Weird.

        Interesting that the director(s) let her and Joaquin ramble for almost 4 min. but cut Parasite off after about a min. It took the crowd shouting “UP! UP!” for them to put the lights back on them and let them finish.

    • Esmom says:

      I love Renee’s dress on her but I think her hair looks really bad, as usual. I don’t understand how it can so consistently look so sloppy/DIY compared to the rest of her styling.

    • Lady2Lazy says:

      Poor Laura! She can’t get a great dress to save her life. Is it her stylist? Or her choices? I love her, but her style needs to be taken up to her level of acting. Renee looks lovely!

  3. Jessica says:

    What is it about Renee that is bugging me so much? Is it all of the plastic surgery and fillers? Her voice? She always sounds drunk or high on something. I really can’t stand her. And yes, Dern’s dress was atrocious.

    • Scollins says:

      Maybe bc there seems to be nothing at all about her that comes off as natural. All affectation.

      • Janiet says:

        Hmm. Yes, I think you’re right. She wasn’t like this the first time around though, was she? Or am I misremembering? But yea, wow, she is so affected. Weirdly so.

      • Kebbie says:

        This. Nothing about her seems genuine or real. She’s always acting, even when she’s not acting. Maybe she’s got social anxiety or something and that makes it easier because she does seem medicated sometimes.

        She looked great though.

    • Allergy says:

      I always feel as if she’s not completely present, in some weird way. Especially in magazine shoots, she seems like an artificial computer character. I like her though.

    • omnibre says:

      I really feel like there may be some medication going on. It’s not helpful to diagnose through the internet but… it makes me cringe a bit when people say she’s drunk/high because she sounds a lot like my sister when they got her anti-depressants/anti-psychotics balanced out.

      But there’s no way to tell.

      • RedWeatherTiger says:

        Yes, she sounded an awful lot like…her character, Judy Garland. Only less tragic, less likable, and not funny at all.

        This comment may be misplaced…I am sorry! I see your point about it being impossible to tell what the heck is going on here.

      • omnibre says:

        No, I think we’re agreeing… like to me, she doesn’t sound drunk, she sounds medicated, but who knows.

        I went back and watched her 2004 Oscar acceptance speech and it’s NOTHING like this (First of all, the category that year is sooooo stacked it’s wild). She sounded slightly nervous, she rushes through what she’s saying, but there’s none of the loopy, head-in-the-cloud stuff she does now. It’s really worth watching for Jude Law looking like an Adonis, and Nicole Kidman smiling broadly and genuinely and then forcing her smile when Renee mentions Tom Cruise.

  4. grabbyhands says:

    I have definitely been in the minority on Laura Dern because I love her gown and I thought her look over all was great.

    Renee Zellweger looked … okay. The gown was fine but the color just kind of washed her out. And it’s too bad because a bolder look might have distracted everyone from the rambling acceptance speech – like, did she and Joaquin Phoenix have a bet about who could have the longest, most rambling with additional weird random shit thrown in acceptance speech?

    • AmyB says:

      @grabbyhands I sooo agree with you about Renee and Joaquin’s acceptance speeches!!! Like WTF were they talking about???? So much rambling and garbage. I guess I more understand where Phoenix was “trying” to come from, sort of trying to dismiss cancel culture, I guess, but God Lord, Renee was horrible!!! These people really just need to get up, thank the Academy, their families, cast, crew whatever and move on LMAO!

      • (TheOG)jan90067 says:

        I wondered if Joaquin was making reference to the push back he got with Casey Affleck sexual harassment suit.

        Gotta say, while I *understand* what his message was, and he was saying, (and the fact there is a global audience), I just don’t feel the Oscars’ stage is the place for it. Especially when it came off so jumbled (don’t think it was just nerves).

    • omnibre says:

      I liked Dern’s dress too. Didn’t blow me away but, it’s a pretty color, the detail is interesting, and her body is incredible.

  5. Danielle says:

    Wonder Why you dislike Laura Dern, Kaiser? She is to me a surprise choice for an arch nemesis. Sorry if you have already talked about this at length.

    • Erinn says:

      I feel like it’s similar to how I had a grudge against Eddie Vedder. It started out as a case of me hearing too much of him when we got satellite radio, and it just became this long running joke that I hated Eddie. I truly don’t, but it just took on a life of it’s own haha.

  6. Scollins says:

    Dern’s dress looks like something a 10 yr old would design for her Barbie doll.

    • Definitely Oscar/Western Barbie realness with Dern’s dress.

    • Olenna says:

      ITA. Those tassels, ugh! Reminds me of the sewing scraps my sister and I used to make doll clothes. We could go straight to fashiontown with some rickrack and bias tape, LOL!

      • AMA1977 says:

        My 7 year-old uses old socks and craft ribbon. I cannot tell you the number of Barbies there are in my house who look like valley girls, clad in strapless dresses made from the stretchy part of a child’s sock with a ribbon belt cinching it. Or made into two-piece creations. I should go to the fabric store and buy her some remnants, she’d love it!

  7. Loretta says:

    I love Renee dress, it’s timeless. One of the best dresses of an Oscar winner actress of ever.
    Simply stunning.

  8. L84Tea says:

    Renee looked incredible and her gown fit like a glove. I can’t help but be fascinated by her face. I still cannot get over how she looked like herself, then for a while there she didn’t look like herself anymore, and now she looks like her old self again. I need that explained to me.

  9. Eva says:

    I enjoy Laura Dern but gotta agree, the dress and the hair were a mess. Renee On the other hand looks perfect and I want her arms.

    • Moneypenny says:

      Seriously, the look was so bad…and then when she was on stage and I saw her hair, I wondered if you, Kaiser, styled her yourself :) .

      Tall, slim and a lock to win and THIS was the moment when she wanted to look like a Victorian lamp shade?

    • Blair Warner says:

      I actually like Laura’s hair … no comment on the dress.
      Loved Renee’s dress, simple and elegant – but maybe half a size too small? Looks good in pictures but in her walk to the stage it seemed tight.

  10. Eleonor says:

    I don’t know why Laura Dern is your nemesis, but it makes me laugh!
    When I saw the dress I thought to Morticia Addams shade “Debbie…pastels”?

  11. Originaltessa says:

    Sometimes the combo of light pink and black can look very twee to me. Any other color in the skirt, like an emerald or chartreuse would have worked better for me. It’s very West World regardless.

  12. Lucy2 says:

    Renee’s dress is great. I don’t know why Laura chose hers though.

  13. Mireille says:

    Renee Zellweger looks lovely. Laura Dern … the less I say that better.

  14. Texas says:

    I hated Dean’s dress at first, second and third glance. Today, I’m kind of liking it. Poor Renee. She seems tragic somehow.

  15. PlayItAgain says:

    Renee has looked great all season, and last night was no exception. I need to try to get through my Zellweger annoyance to see Judy. There’s something about her that just makes me grind my teeth. I haven’t seen any of her movies except Chicago. I made it a third of the way through Cold Mountain. That’s it.

    I feel the same about Leo. Just…no. Ick.

  16. huncamunca says:

    People were quick to jump on the “is she drunk? is she high?” train on Twitter, but honestly I think she’s just an eccentric person who gets super anxious. I didn’t see the movie, but I’ve always rooted for her. Some were saying she come off as fake, but I truly don’t see how anyone “fake” could have given, for better or worse, that speech… which yes, went on way too long and kind of became a disaster, but at least it felt like her?

    • tealily says:

      She seemed really, really nervous to me. I was waiting to hear slurred speech or whatever has been going on for her previous awards, which I haven’t watched. I think she had a nice speech prepared, fumbled the words a little, but managed to mostly keep it together and white-knuckle it through somehow. I really felt for her.

    • Baltimoreinthehouse says:

      I think she has trouble with anxiety. I read an article in the NYT about her relatively recently and she seemed like a sweet person who was uncomfortable talking about herself.

      https://www.nytimes.com/2019/09/25/movies/renee-zellweger-judy.html

  17. Jess says:

    Laura’s dress is awful. As for Renee’s speech, I got the impression that she get like she needed to say something important after Joaquin’s speech but she wasn’t prepared to do so and that’s why it was a rambling mess.

    • Mgsota says:

      +1 about Renee. I muted Joaquin and Renee during their speeches and turned on the subtitles. I just couldn’t. 2nd hand embarrassment. I get where Joaquin was coming from and liked some of what he said, then it just got weird. Renee probably felt like she needed to say something “important” and that’s what we got.

  18. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    I’m glad I missed the the rambling speeches. I hate cringe moments. I’ve never liked Renee. She’s vapid. A shell. She could be an artificial intelligence infiltration test for all I know. As for Dern, she’s Hollywood royalty so I always wonder why she’s over-the-top lol. If I had legacy in that town, aloof would be my middle name lol.

  19. SJR says:

    That dress makes Laura Dern look like Miss Kitty from Gunsmoke.

    Renee plain out bugs me. Thats all I got.

  20. Case says:

    I can’t believe Laura pretty much knew she’d win and this was the look she went with. She has an awesome body, she could rock anything. And she chose a lampshade, omg!

    Renee’s dress is pretty but also doesn’t scream “winner!” Plus her face is just so bizarre to look at now that it takes away from any good things I could say about the look, really.

  21. Laura says:

    Renee looks like she “refreshed” her face for the Oscars, I swear she looked older at the other award ceremonies this year. She looks great for her, though (sorry, I don’t get the zellweger hype at all, never have) and the dress is gorgeous.

  22. Layla Beans says:

    For the first time, I really see Laura’s mother in her face. She’s Diane Ladd’s kid for sure. I didn’t love the dress, but there were far worse. Just removing the tassles would have helped, but Kristin Wiig and Gal Gadot were bigger NOs for me.

    • (TheOG)jan90067 says:

      Kristin Wigg looked like a red digging spade. Truly one of the worst of the night.

      Gal’s wasn’t “bad” per se, but she was over styled with that diamond necklace over the turtleneck. Either the necklace OR the big skirt with that neckline, but not both. If that was just a deep jewel tone column dress (turtleneck) with that choker at the neckline, hair pulled back (maybe a statement matching thick bracelet) that would be stunning on her.

  23. Jackie O'Glasses says:

    I think Laura looks fine, but I don’t understand the tassels. I see them everywhere now. I see them on a lot of purses too and they are so ugly!!! I think I hate them as much as Kaiser hates Laura, lol! Renee looks the same as she always does. I’m glad awards season is over, I’m tired of all of it. I appreciate the coverage from you guys, thanks for making it less boring.

  24. Sass says:

    Renee did. No contest. Those stupid tassels lol

  25. Fleur says:

    I watched the vanity fair actress round table and Renee was SO lovely, gracious, intelligent, humble, and articulate in the most thoughtful way… I can’t say anything bad about her. I think the award platform must make her nervous, hence some rambling. She seems like a lovely human being in interviews. Her dress was gorgeous .

  26. Miss Melissa says:

    Renee’s dress looks just like one Princess Diana wore in the 80s.

  27. Severine says:

    Both dresses were a miss for me. Lampshade Dern and washed out Renee. I am still trying to figure out Renee’s “lack of styling” – no real makeup or lipstick, washed out, no jewelry, just boring, boring and more boring. And her rambling speech (if you could call it that) – what was that, exactly? It’s like she’s in a parallel universe.

  28. The Voice says:

    Renee looked amazing. She’s super slender but doesn’t look sickly. I thought that dress fit her so perfectly. And she had no other jewelry on which was a statement itself. That dress was jewelry enough.

    Sometimes we expect actors to be eloquent but it’s obvious she’s no writer. She was up right after Joaquin so I’m guessing she felt she had to say something as “inspiring” which is why she served up her hero word salad. She should’ve only done that if she had a really well rehearsed speech and message.

  29. Jenn says:

    Her acceptance speech was strange, yeah. It seemed like she decided right then to follow Joaquin’s lead and do something socially-responsible with the platform, extemporaneously—but the result was weird and tone-deaf. I do believe it came from a well-meaning, if Texan, place. Oh, well. She looked stunning, I thought!