Robert Pattinson: ‘Lots of people tell me I smell like a crayon…Like I’m embalmed’

Celebrities take the front row at the Dior fashion show in Paris

Robert Pattinson is still promoting his Dior contract, more specifically, he’s promoting his contract as the face of Dior Homme fragrance/cologne. Which means we get delightful Vogue videos where he’s an big, beautiful, dumb, awkward mess in Paris, and we also get delightful interviews in Allure, wherein Rob talks about fragrances and how he smells like crayons. I love him, you guys. You can read his full Allure piece here. Some highlights:

What’s it like to “superlatively hot”: “It’s weird. I never was really up for the good-looking-guy roles, because I’ve always been quite awkward when meeting people. My Harry Potter role was a good-looking guy, and it was a shock that it was quite easy to get. And then in Twilight, [Edward is] beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. When I turned up for the audition, I had done a job where I’d dyed my hair black, but I had an inch and a half of roots, and I had waxed my body. And then I had a few months where I’d been drinking beer all day, so I had this hairless, chubby body. I looked like a baby with a wig on. [Laughs] After I did Twilight, [my friends said,] “Oh, you’re posing all of the time,” and I’m like, “What are you talking about? I’m just standing. And none of you thought I was good-looking two years ago!”

His take on what Dior Homme smells like: “I hardly ever wear fragrances. If I wear a fragrance, I find it quite overbearing. But this one, for some reason, you don’t really notice you’re wearing it. I can never really describe it. People are like, “Is it woody smelling?” But I don’t really know what wood smells like. It definitely makes me feel more awake. There’s something fresh about it.”

How to apply fragrance: “I mean, are there different ways? My dad always used to put it on his hair. And I had an ex-girlfriend who sprayed a little cloud of perfume and shimmied around in it. I like the idea of that.

The best smell: “Definitely the scent of when you’re in love with someone, and the smell is incredible. It brings out an animal side of being human.

The worst smell: “And the worst smell… um. I don’t really mind grimy stuff. I love the smell of things people really hate, but burning hair is revolting.

Describing how he smells: “Lots of people tell me I smell like a crayon…Like I’m embalmed.”

[From Allure]

On one side, I can’t even believe Dior PAYS this big beautiful dummy to give interviews in support of their signature men’s fragrance and he says sh-t like “I don’t really know what wood smells like” and “Lots of people tell me I smell like a crayon.” But on the other hand, I *can* believe it, because Rob is keeping it real and he’s actually halfway charming. As for how to apply… I used to wear cheap roll-on essential oil and I would apply it directly on my pulse points – my wrists and my neck, just below the ear. I used to do that with spray perfume too, apply it directly. Then someone said with spray perfume, you should spray it in the air and then walk through it. And now I do that. I still don’t know the right way and I’ve never really thought about whether it’s gender-specific, and whether there are men spraying their cologne in the air and then walking through it. Probably not, right?

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Photos courtesy of Backgrid and Getty.

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36 Responses to “Robert Pattinson: ‘Lots of people tell me I smell like a crayon…Like I’m embalmed’”

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  1. Ariel says:

    I learned the spray and walk through it watching Broadcast News.

  2. olala says:

    He is so asexual to me.

  3. Alissa says:

    well, he always seems like a wax figure trying to act so this makes sense.

    • Anname says:

      Welcome to 2020, your comment seems to be visiting from 2009.

      Not be an annoying superfan, but take a look at a review or two from the past few years and you can understand why I find your comment so out of date. We all have actors we dislike for whatever reason, but criticizing his ability as an actor doesn’t really work anymore.

      • Kimmie says:

        What? I didn’t realize personal opinions were antiquated. 🤔

      • Cali says:

        @Anname I so agree, if you think he can’t act, then you haven’t seen his post 2009 work and it’s stellar, I’d recommend The Lighthouse and Good Times for those judging him by Twilight.

  4. Alexandria says:

    I’m intrigued. Let me smell.

  5. Chaine says:

    I can believe he smells like a crayon. I’ve never found him the least bit appealing.

  6. Lila says:

    Into the hair is a good strategy. The scents stay a little more true (as opposed to changing with individual skin chemistry). And you get a fun whiff of scent anytime the wind ruffles your hair.

    • Laura says:

      I used to do that, but I have really dry hair and the alcohol from the perfume wasn’t helping. I usually do the cloud thing.

  7. Slacker says:

    Love love love Sparkles. Beautiful and silly. I bet he doesn’t wear perfume. Doesn’t seem on brand for him. Personally , i am allergic to perfumes.

  8. Abby says:

    ahahahahahahah this is just gold. Kudos to the interviewer. Thank you for all the laughs this morning, SparklePatz. I love you. Just so weird.

  9. Babadook says:

    I am equally intrigued, confused and uncomfortable that he went straight for burning hair. I agree with him, but like…that’s your go-to?!

  10. Allergy says:

    Now this is the strangest headline ever here.

  11. emmy says:

    This guy is so weird I appreciate it so much. He’s never boring and that’s something you can’t teach, I can see why Dior keeps him. Wish him all the best.

  12. Chelly says:

    I used to spray it in the air but felt like I was “wasting” my perfume that way, and it ain’t cheap! So I spray it on myself but from a further distance. I stretch my arm out then spray. This way it isnt directly in 1 spot & I dont feel it wasteful. But everyone has their own way I guess

  13. Nibbi says:

    This has brought a ray of sunshine to my day :)
    I actually very much appreciate knowing that he smells like a crayon. That is SUPER weird. hahahaa bless ‘im

  14. Stacy Dresden says:

    He’s gorgeous. I like many of his roles and find him interesting.

  15. Boo says:

    This was hilarious. He’s such a delightful weirdo.

  16. paranormalgirl says:

    I do the cloud and walk through it.

    On the subject of scent… has anyone else tried Amazing!

    • detritus says:

      They are on my list. What scents did you get?

      I just did an order from stereoplasm (another indie) and it was excellent.
      Still looking for a longer lasting dupe of Ateliers Orange Sanguine tho.

  17. MeghanNotMarkle says:

    I don’t find him terribly attractive but I do love him. He’s a weirdo just like me!

    I was told to not apply perfume directly to the skin because it doesn’t last. Spray it on your clothes and in your hair instead. I can definitely still smell the scent at the end of the day when I do this. My go-to scent is Kenneth Cole White. What’s all y’all’s?

    • paranormalgirl says:

      Sucreabeille’s Serenity, Big Damn Heroes, and Here’s the thing: F#$& Everyone (that’s the name of the scent, not a suggestion). I alternate

      • MeghanNotMarkle says:

        Thanks for sharing! I’ll have to see if I can snag a whiff of those and see if I like them.

    • Justine says:

      Stella McCartney & Miu Miu Twist. They’re both light – I get a headache with anything too heavy, so if you do as well, you should be good there. To me, they’re both also just, like, flowery happiness radiating from bottles.

      • MeghanNotMarkle says:

        I get headaches and asthma attacks from anything too heavy so I’ll have to check those out.

  18. Audrey says:

    I spray my perfume by the nape of my neck on my wet hair. When the hair dries, the fragrance is light and only noticeable when people are close or I swish my hair.

  19. K says:

    You should buy this really pricy designer fragrance that I’m the face of and that you’re interviewing me about. You don’t really notice you’re wearing it. In fact, don’t even waste your time imagining it makes me smell good, because people always tell me I smell weird. Do what you want, whatever.

    Yeah, great job selling a product there, Rob. I mean, it’s funny, how much he doesn’t gaf, but annoying how much money he makes off nonchalance alone.

  20. Metoo says:

    Do people really buy perfume\ cologne anymore. Any type of scent that is constant can trigger allergies and headaches.

  21. london lips says:

    I love his personality, looks and attitude. He has matured into a fine actor willing to take on some weird roles. Can’t wait to see him as Batman.

  22. CherryL says:

    That’s what the sebum of the skin smells like. Use proper soap and shower regularly (and wash hair more often) and you won’t smell like a crayon anymore.

  23. Normades says:

    I bet the ex girlfriend he mentions is fka twigs. Can’t imagine Kirsten being the perfume type