I have to hand it to Kristin Cavallari, she’s really giving us content with all the back and forth stories about her divorce. It seems like she leaks stories one day and then denies them the next. This latest story is kind of sad though and it’s consistent with what we’ve learned from her divorce filing. According to sources quoted in People magazine and US Weekly, Jay was emotionally abusive to her on the set of their reality show, Very Cavallari.
“He would make her cry all the time during production. He talked down to her and belittled her,” a Cavallari friend tells PEOPLE. “She couldn’t take it anymore.”
Another source close to Cavallari, 33, says the exes have been “struggling” for “at least three years,” and that the Uncommon James founder has long been unhappy.
“He belittles Kristin and makes her cry in front of other people,” the source says. “He flies off the handle at the littlest thing and would make Kristin absolutely miserable.” – From People
“There have been instances while filming where he would be mean to her, embarrass her, make her feel bad or storm off. He was never pleasant to the crew or others filming,” a source tells Us Weekly exclusively. “Her breaking point was this last year. She felt like it was time. They had been trying to make it work and she certainly had been. They had been to counseling.”
Cutler’s behavior was repetitive too. “Jay has a temper. He’s a shouter,” the insider says. “He didn’t have an issue about calling her out or yelling at her in front of other people. That experience was really embarrassing her. He would be rude to fans and that was really embarrassing to her. That’s not her at all; she’s always nice to her fans. It’s been like that for a long time, but she was sticking it out for the kids.” – From US Weekly
E! has a story expanding on some of the claims in Kristin’s divorce filing. Remember how she said that Jay had instructed their business managers to block her access to their money so that she couldn’t buy another house? Apparently the managers are friends of Jay’s and Kristin suspects that Jay is using them to hide assets from her, particularly his NFL pension. This is going to get messy, right?
As I said yesterday, this reminds me so much of Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy. It was easy to believe the worst of Bethenny because she seems like a nasty person (although she’s definitely redeemed herself with her charity work). However it soon became clear that Jason was vindictive, manipulative and emotionally abusive to her. Are we going to learn the same about Jay, is this just the spin Kristin is putting on things, or is it a little of both?
Kristin is demonstrating Kardashian-level skill at capitalizing on a personal crisis and that tells me this is the right career for her. Ooh I just thought of something – Kristin is on E! too. A lot of this could be E!’s handiwork as well. They probably have a team of people packaging and doling out these stories.
These people seem to drink a lot
Reminds me a of what the Kardashians did to Kris Humphries. The longer version of the story mentions that he was uptight about her spending. All of these stories have $$$ issues in every undercurrent.
Her PR is really cranking it up!
I have disliked Kristen because of Laguna but if what she’s saying is true, I actually have sympathy for her. I just got out a relationship with someone who is emotionally abusive. In fact this whole past month he’s called it quits for good but keeps playing with my head which makes it worse considering what’s going on. I can’t seem to cut it off without feeling like it’s my fault, knowing full well it isn’t. But alas emotional abuse is ugly. If this is in fact true for her then I hope she gets out of it. It’s a crappy cycle to be in. And now being told she can’t access her money? It’s taken a new level.
If any of that is true, she can’t get away from this guy soon enough.
I have a hard time believing she’s a victim with her rabid egocentric needs.
Agreed. She seems pretty vapid, vain, and materialistic to me. I get this impression from her current reality show . I don’t know Jay but I’m sympathize with him actually.
Even narcissists can be abused.
i. laughed so hard. the most nonsense statement ever
This might be an unpopular opinion. But I like her and he seems…off. They were never on my radar but I watched their show on YouTube after this all came out and she seemed to want to make it work and he is just…again weird.
I agree. His personality seems toxic. Makes me seriously wonder if CTE has affected him after so many years in the NFL.
I think that’s definitely a factor, particularly for quarterbacks.
Oh, yes, I got that same vibe and I hardly know anything about them aside from here at CB. It’s what little I heard about their rocky relationship from the start but also: his face. His expressions. I’ve seen that face on dudes I’ve dated here in Chicago where he’s from. There is a belittling they do that passes here for humor when it is most definitely not. It’s a depressive energy, nothing is ever acceptable, always sour and have to put down others/make others feel small in order to even things out. I say even things out because they’re not trying to make themselves feel better; they just want you to feel bad. It’s lowkey mean, sometimes outright. Energetically low vibration. I peeped that from day one and it’s all in his eyes, face.
@Summer & @Anna, Cutler has pinged my negative radar for years. My hubs is a huge football fan and I came to know him thru football. His ‘lack of talent’ (according to my ptr) would gripe frequently about Cutler and his primadonna ways. No one likes to get tackled but he did not seem to take responsibility for his own behaviors and failings…he seemed to blame others all the time. This divorce thing will get ugly due to what I have already attributed to his personality from his on the field behavior. Some times I am wrong, but honestly, not often. This guy is super bad news. While I have no opinion on KC but (have read negative stuff about her) I am apathetic regarding her. Her kids are still pretty little. Just get away from this d-bag!
I’ll repeat what I said yesterday-this stream of leaks may help KC stay trending in gossip circles, but will harm their children.
Fight your divorce battles in court-not in the court of public opinion.
I agree. This is not good for their children.
I also agree, damejudi. Whenever posters give sage advice, I always really, really, really hope the celebs in question are reading Celebitchy. This is one of those times. Zip the lips and think of the children!
Totally agree. I love a messy divorce played out in public, but I hate when there are kids involved. They didn’t ask for any of this drama.
Completely agree. They never show their kids on their reality show or social media. They’re fanatical enough to avoid vaccinations. Then THIS?! Also, if my significant other brought a camera crew into my house, I’d be pretty grumpy about it. It isn’t his thing. They didn’t want their kids shown. Only one person in the family wanted it and engaged. How is that “reality” by any stretch?
I don’t know. Presumably if he was this bad, they already saw what was happening and any very well been victims themselves. Emotional abuse often gets downplayed so having their experience validated could actually be very healing. Certainly I wished someone had told me that what I was experiencing was wrong.
If Jay is this abusive (emotionally, financially, and/or physically), KC should get her legal ducks in a row, get appropriate mental health support, and hire a lawyer who specializes in high-conflict divorce.
If he engaged in abusive behavior in front of witnesses (family, friends, employees) she’ll be able to prove it much more easily.
I just don’t agree with the press/social media leaks tactic. It can easily backfire on her in family court, and will hurt their kids. JMO as someone whose ex (16 year marriage) was emotionally and financially abusive.
But it’s not easy for people to prove and most people don’t take it seriously. Most of what my ex would say was hurtful to me but I wonder if other’s would consider it Abusive or just mean spirited. And when it’s written in black and white you won’t hear the tone or the context. I just feel like it’s not one size fits all and if she gets some old Southern judge who reads it wrong?
yup, it’s gross. what about the children.
Listen, being verbally abused is horrific. And he has pinged my radar for being like that since the start of the show. Plus all the stories we heard when they were here in Chicago. I dislike her intensely but no one deserves to be abused.
He always gave me an unsettled feeling. He kinda scares me. She m as may not be able as peach, but nobody deserves abuse of any kind. Good for her and those sweet babies for leaving if he is a creep. He looks so unhealthy all time, especially odd since he is an ex athlete. It looks like he might be into drugs to me.
Kristin is not accustomed to anyone being more sarcastic & nasty than she is. K met her match with Jay. She often degraded him on camera, and very full of herself.
I believe Jay made her cry, with his dry wit & dismissive behavior. Kristin is used to being the Boss in every situation, but Jay shuts her sh*t down. This marriage has been dying for years.
He’s a type one diabetic who often spoke of issues managing his insulin and blood sugar. Unfortunately, this can someone to rapidly drop weight and or make them appear ill. He does not look someone who abuses medications or drugs.
Actually he does look like someone that abuses drugs. It’s in the eyes. There’s a real darkness there. Of course, I don’t know the man and looks can be deceiving, but I think he looks like he’s on drugs. I know lots of diabetic people, and they don’t have the same look.
I watched a clip of Very Cavallari (insomnia) and these two had NO CHEMISTRY. They weren’t affectionate towards each other, they didn’t relate towards one another like two people in a romantic relationship—the dynamic was just off. Off not in an abusive way but off in that they didn’t seem to really like each other. Like quietly adversarial.
But they took good Instagram photos when they were together. I think this was always a not-great-to-kind-of-bad relationship, and now that she’s stopped having children, she or both decided to finally end things.
I’ve only seen a few episodes of the first season but she was constantly making jokes about him not doing anything all day.
“What do you do all day?”
“You got a haircut? Big day for you!”
“You’re reading a book? That is the last thing I thought I’d see.”
And he always seemed completely annoyed by her presence. It just seemed like such a negative relationship between the two of them. Oddly competitive and completely unsupportive. I believe that he wasn’t a great husband, but I don’t buy her as a victim. She seemed to give as good as she got.
I feel like I need to watch the show now. I’m from Chicago and everyone there hates Jay Cutler. The guy who would choke in the playoffs/SuperBowl.
I know he has type I Diabetes, so I gave him a pass when he was injured in the playoffs, when if he would have stayed in, we could have won.
But I have heard stories that he’s a d*ck.
Kristen really wants to move back to LA, which is no surprise. She’s into that scene and Jay isn’t. Kristen wants to have it both ways. When it comes to jays insane NFL fortune, he’s hiding it from her and how dare he because it’s theirs. When she wants to buy a home in LA, it’s her money and that’s horrible of him. He’s no prize, but neither is she.
I don’t think it’s that Jay put a hold on her ability to use her money to buy a house, I think he fronted the money for her business and until their settlement is sorted out he’s not giving her access to THEIR money to buy a house in LA (they already own two properties in Nashville so she could easily move into the other property.)
I don’t think Jay is going to play his side out for the media, but Kristen REALLY wants that LA lifestyle and I don’t think she’ll stop until she gets it.
Oops misplaced post
I think I read in one of these articles that Jay is living in Bancroft, the ridiculous mega-mansion that they haven’t been able to sell. She’s living with a friend (hairdresser Justin?). And they’re dividing their time with the kids at the primary residence. I know I read they each get 3 days with the kids there, but what about day 7? Nanny day?
It’s hand off day and thus likely not counted as a full day.
Ah. That makes sense.
Sounds like she’s more interested in winning than protecting her children, so that’s going to work out well for everyone.
I’m from Chicago…where Jay worked for YEARS…unfortunately…. as QB for the Bears…Jay’s stank ass attitude is LEGENDARY..Nobody liked him…NO ONE….I believe her regarding this
I think he resented her for being more famous than him. Not that I’m a fan of hers, oh god no! But some dudes just can’t handle that.
Also gotta love the “turkey, leather, and wine” caption. Hahaha.
I don’t think Jay resents her for being more famous …. they are both famous in different circles. And Jay does not care about the perks of fame as @Lala11_7 rightly points out above. Jay was a sideline pouter, press-sneerer, and locker-room mood deflating Debby Downer as a Chicago Bear. I don’t doubt Kristen cried a lot living with him.
However, I know people in Chicago who tuned into Very Cavallari just to see the domestic version of Jay, not to see Kristen. The show was even oddly covered a lot (I thought) in the Chicago Tribune but it was all about keeping up with Jay. I wonder what percentage of her ratings will drop once Jay isn’t featured.
There was one article I read earlier that was like “The launch of Uncommon James meant that Cavallari was balancing a business, a husband, and being a mother, which certainly added some strain to the relationship.”
It’s kind of just like – oh, so you mean she had to do what most working couples have to do? And apparently her company was shipping out something like 10 empty packages per week which…. makes zero sense. How in the hell could you possibly make that mistake THAT many times. Unless you’re hiring people who are popping pills and washing them down with booze on the job, I’m really not sure how you’d ever manage such a significant error. From what I understand he had a pretty big fan base through his time on the show – kind of a fan favorite. I wonder how her brand is going to do without him involved?
I have to say some of her jewelry is really genuinely cute. Honestly I might have to start watching their reality show because I’m in need of something new and trashy to watch and I’m all caught up on Below Deck.
The comparison between her and the Skinny Girl woman is apt. They both are just hugely unlikable mean girl type characters that seem to court disaster. But nobody deserves abuse. At this point though, I don’t think we’ve heard any rumors of her being like that to Jay, so we will see how this plays out. I did find some of the comments over the last week or so weird from her team – that first “if he accuses me of something it’s only because he did something first” was a bit of a red flag. I suspect they’ve been toxic to be around for a while now, so it seems in EVERYONE’S best interest to cut the loses.
If she’s using the media to spread information about him that is untrue (which has to be the case since her releases are often self-contradictory) in the hope of pressuring him to separate children from their father and/or a settlement more favorable to her, I think that’s abusive to him and their children. It also speaks to a diabolical mind. A lot of people go to this extreme when divorcing but when you have kids, you can’t take it back. Even if he is abusive, she’s offering him a ton of amunition to claim parental alienation.
I think she’s definitely going to be her own worst enemy. She is hellbent on winning the PR battle and it just makes her look worse. A bunch of leaks about how awful he is, even if it’s true, isn’t going to have the effect she thinks it will. People don’t like one sided attacks like that.
It reminds me of Miley leaking stories about Liam’s moodiness and insinuating he had a drug problem. He refused to play, and it just turned people against her.
If she thinks all these leaks are going to force Jay to give her what she wants, she’s sadly mistaken. Read the room. Or better yet, read the state. Jay may be the biggest asshole to ever asshole, but he has rights as those kids’ father. Also, she’s going to have a hard time getting that NFL pension. If the Brown & Goldman families couldn’t touch OJ’s, I don’t see how she will be able to claim Jay’s either.
I’m gonna stay split down the middle on this and say they brought out the worst in each other. They likely emotionally abuse one another after years of petty arguments and trying to force a marriage that came out of an unplanned pregnancy. I’ve seen perfectly normal and lovely people turn into crazed lunatics from being with the wrong person. I believe people really can push each other to insanity, then they’ll be totally healthy and normal in their next relationship.
They should think about the children and stop leaking this mess to the press though.
Yeah, I don’t like either of them. He seems like a jerk and she seems as thirsty as they come. These stories should be locked down because of their kids, and for that I blame her more. And why did they pump out three kids in three years? That would stress anyone, and now their kids will pay the price.
Yes! This completely. My ex-husband and I were toxic to eachother. I have never been that way in my entire life and when I was with him I was a horrible human being. We would have the worst fights, ever! This is totally possible for them.
Jess and WriterMarie I hope what you’re saying is true. I need some hope in these dark times. I have been going crazy this last month, like full blown mental breakdown and I hope it’s just the other person making me this way and not something I am. I genuinely feel like I’m going insane and that without him, even though he’s mean and unaffectioante, I will never find love. It’s exhausting.
Ashley, I have been where you are when I was younger, I felt like no one else would love me if I left my emotionally abusive partner. He was so cruel to me, made me cry every day. I finally realized at one point that I’d rather be alone. I was never in another abusive relationship. It’s been 26 years, it was so worth it to leave, I never regretted leaving, not ever. Leaving is the hardest part, then it gets a tiny bit easier every day. Big hugs to you, you’re gonna be okay.
Not that it matters at this point, but its rumoured that Kristen got pregnant to keep the relationship, after Jay had broken off the engagement.
She got pregnant without him? Is she a magician?
So far she’s the only one leaking stories and waging a PR war through tabloids. This is probably a “everyone sucks here” situation but that and her shady way to hint at physical abuse without outright saying it shows it’s not true and is really scummy
It’s as if they’re constantly posing for prom pictures.
Mh. I’m usually team the wife, if only because of how common domestic abuse is, but the stories coming from Kristin’s camp are rubbing me the wrong way tbh. They seem manipulative, as if she were trying to paint the picture of the boss girl whose conservative husband has tried to force in the home, yet she can not produce actual proof of it. Mind you, jay is a republican and comes from a traditional midwestern background but… I did watch Very Cavallari – I know, ahem – and while he’s often very dry, she’s *always* passive aggressive to him, especially when they are in a group or he’s not there. Sometimes she’s downright aggressive. And Jay has a chronic illness, diabetes, so if he looks drugged out that’s probably why. Not to mention that his body must be KO after years in the NFL. I’m not saying he’s a saint, and I used to like her. But she did throw her best friend under the bus for a storyline, and her new BFF is obnoxious and they both drink all the time (for ex on vacation with the children around), and now imho an obnoxious streak is starting to shine through. Some women can be the bad guy in a divorce, some women marry for the material advantages, some women use people as pawns. I guess we’ll soon know if Kristin is one of them.
Maybe he’s better at putting on a good face for the cameras, but I agree she was the passive aggressive one. He didn’t seem like a jerk to me, mostly just disinterested, but she was always belittling him. All of her confessional type interviews about him were basically her implying he was a grump and a jerk. I wouldn’t want my partner to talk about me like that behind my back.
One second she’d be saying it was her time to shine now that he’s retired and the next she’d be making jokes about how he had nothing going on. She seemed to enjoy lording it over him that her career was bustling and his wasn’t. They just have very different natures and seem to want completely different things.
I don’t know much about Jay. Don’t follow the Bears and don’t watch the show. But Kristen and her trail of drama are LEGENDARY in some L.A. circles…and I’m talking outside of her various reality shows. Let’s not pretend she doesn’t know how to manipulate the media cycle and that she’s so poor she can’t buy a house in L.A. without Jay if she wanted to. She’s independently wealthy. She’s worth $30 million alone. Jay, I believe is worth $120 million from his NFL days.
I’ve heard he’s a real jerk, but she’s is no peach either and from what I’ve read so far it seems BOTH of them have been emotionally and verbally abusive to each other.
This s**t is a tie.
I wouldn’t be shocked if he has CTE like so many other former football players. There are enough disturbing stories about the men who do have it in relation to violence and anger.
From the Boston Globe: ” In stage II, those with CTE find themselves suffering from depression or mood swings, explosivity, and short term memory loss.”
I’m not a Cutler fan.
But so far she looks really bad here. On a superficial level, he seems like a bad husband. But it’s all gossip. He’s the one not leaking stories to the press. He requested appropriate custody rather than going for primary.
She’s not trying to be civil to make it easier for their kids. She’s more worried about winning and everything comes back to money with her. I think she wants primary for more child support. And every story so far seems to be about him not letting her spend millions or how she thinks he’s hiding money(even though their divorce probably hasn’t gone as far as financial disclosure).
I suspect he has a prenup and she wants more than what it says she’ll get.
I’d always heard that Jay had a rep for being a jerk, and Kristin was pretty unlikeable on Laguna.
From watching her current show, I actually found Jay to be alright. But their dynamic together was weird – immature and always making little digs at each other framed as jokes.
Sometimes it depends on who is in the room. I have a guy friend who suddenly (well, I figured out ther reason*) became an complete asshole to his wife when I was around. In a group of people, they are a couple, not particularly lovey-dovey, but she is sure to post “romantic” images of them on Instagram. From what I understand he is lovely to her when just her friends are around, but am afraid to ask any of his friends if they are having similar experiences like I am. The incidents have been so bad that I stopped meeting them for drinks or dinner because it was super uncomfortable and she knew what he was doing and not saying anything.
I said something to my ex-boyfriend about this and he said, “He’s been like this all along, you just didn’t see it.” Though * I pinpoint it to when his ex-girlfriend, who he was madly in love with, got remarried.
Not sure of my point — but thanks for letting me vent.
I have always liked her. I feel bad for her. They actually seem very opposite. I do not think they would have married had she not gotten pregnant. Sucks all around, for everyone.
I think they are both equally not nice people. They both treat others bad and Kristin has always seemed like she thought she was “better than”. Don’t have sympathy for either of them.
Her ex best friend Kelly Henderson just posted a photo of her drinking with Jay. Or at least most people are assuming it’s Jay’s arm because the person is wearing the same bracelet that Jay wore on the show. This is the friend that people thought he was sleeping with. This is gonna her super ugly.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B_qi1vsnvgv/?igshid=mvbnl6zmb1jy
It is sort of the same style as a bracelet he wore but not the same colors or anything. That seems like a stretch.
I don’t think it’s actually Jay because he’s not that muscular, but I think she knows how it looks and did it on purpose
Jay is goofy looking i was always assumed kristen was superficial and surprised she was with him