Alanis Morissette to write tell-all, Scarlett Johansson is pissed

**Exclusive** Alanis Morissette jogging with a friend in Brentwood
Alt-music icon Alanis Morissette is reportedly planning to write an autobiography that will dish, among other things, the juicy details on her long-term relationship with actor Ryan Reynolds. Before he was Dead Pool in “Wolverine,” Ryan was a struggling actor and the less famous half of a pairing with Alanis. The couple dated from 2002 to 2006, and were engaged for a year before the big breakup. Sources close to Alanis said that she was devastated when Ryan dumped her, and this will be discussed in the new book. One person who won’t be reading it? Ryan’s wife, Scarlett Johansson.

There’s at least one person who won’t be rushing out to buy Alanis Morissette’s new autobiography – Scarlett Johansson.

That’s because Alanis is blowing the lid off her former relationship with Scarlett’s new hubby, actor Ryan Reynolds, in the book – and Scarlett’s NOT happy about it, says an insider.

“Scarlett has tried to live a very private life since she married Ryan last year, and the last thing she wants is attention focused on her husband’s past,” the insider told The Enquirer.

“Ryan was an important part of Alanis’ life, and she plans to dedicate an entire chapter to her relationship with him, how devastated she was by their breakup, and how she felt when he married Scarlett.”

Alanis and Ryan met in 2002 and dated for two years before becoming engaged in 2004. She wrote the emotional song “Torch” about her grief over their split.

“Alanis was inspired to write her life story by the sudden death of Michael Jackson,” the insider continued.

“She sees how much conflicting information there is about Michael, and she doesn’t want that to happen to her. She wants to lay her life out for everyone to see- even if it angers Scarlett.”

National Enquirer print version, Aug. 31, 2009]

Okay, Enquirer, you had me right up until that last part about Alanis being inspired to write an autobiography because of Michael Jackson. The truth is, Alanis has been talking about writing a memoir since last year – long before Jackson passed away. That little fabrication throws this whole story under suspicion for me. Alanis and Ryan were dunzo long before Scarlett came along, so what does she care if his ex-girlfriend writes a chapter in her book about him? Unless she is going to reveal something horrible, like he beat her, or he has a small penis or something. But from what I’ve read, the book is mostly going to focus on Alanis overcoming various situations and obstacles in her life, from statutory rape and eating disorders to dealing with fame and the music industry. It’s not a “let’s trash our ex” type of memoir. And really – a boring pretty boy like Ryan should be glad to get an entire chapter in Alanis’ interesting, amazing life, don’t you think?

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29 Responses to “Alanis Morissette to write tell-all, Scarlett Johansson is pissed”

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  1. Beth says:

    I can believe Alanis is writing a autobiography but I seriously doubt it’s going to be a gossippy tell-all. She’s not the type to do that.

  2. Shanny says:

    Ryan made the mistake of his life getting married to Skanky Jo, hope she hasn’t given him any stds.

  3. Rose says:

    Real classy there, Shanny.

  4. bela says:

    the super Alt-music icon Alanis??…oh please!!

    Alanis wrote the emotional song “Torch” about Ryan… the most touching, almost devastating, dedication to the end of a relationship:

    I miss your smell and your style and your pure abiding way
    Miss your approach to life and your body in my bed
    Miss your take on anything and the music you would play
    Miss cracking up and wrestling and our debriefs at end of day

    These are things that I miss
    These are not times for the weak of heart
    These are the days of raw despondence
    I never dreamed I would have to lay down my torch for you like this

    I miss your neck and your gait and your sharing what you write
    Miss you walking through the front door documentaries in your hand
    Miss traveling our traveling and your fun and charming friends
    Miss our big sur getaways
    And to watch you love my dogs

    These are things that I miss
    These are not times for the weak of heart
    These are the days of raw despondence
    I never dreamed I would have to lay down my torch for you like this

    One step one prayer I soldier on, simulating moving on

    I miss your warmth and the thought of us bringing up our kids
    And the part of you that walks with your stick-tied handkerchief

    These are things that I miss
    These are not times for the weak of heart
    These are the days of raw despondence
    I never dreamed I would have to lay down my torch for you like this

    These are things that I miss
    These are not times for the weak of heart
    These are the days of raw despondence
    I never dreamed I would have to lay down my torch for you like this

  5. Guttersnipey says:

    “And really – a boring pretty boy like Ryan should be glad to get an entire chapter in Alanis’ interesting, amazing life, don’t you think?”

    YES! Exactly!

  6. Cinderella says:

    I really felt bad for her after their breakup. He was probably the biggest pain in the ass. He seems like such a needy child. I guess we’ll find out. Do tell, Alanis. Get it off your chest!

  7. Firestarter says:

    I had heard of Ryan Reynolds way before Wolverine and I never knew until recently he was with Alanis. He has been in lots of movies, granted not great ones, but hardly the struggling, unheard of actor you mentioned in the beginning of the post.

  8. bros says:

    Isnt reynolds a big tool? there are tons of stories about his being a huge prissy jerk prima donna. i think he did her a favor leaving her. i didnt understand the match at all.

  9. bela says:

    but…Alt-music icon and mega amazing Alanis Morissette(…) was devastated when “the pretty boring boy” (five years together) dumped her.

  10. ash says:

    I agree with Firestarter, Ryan Reynolds was way popular before Wolverine movie. Just Friends? Definitely Maybe?….hell I even watched him in 2 Guys a Girl and a Pizza Place. He’s hilarious….oh and Van Wilder, Waiting, Adventureland, Blade Trinity (not his best moments but popular none-the-less)????

  11. UrbanRube says:

    Ryan Reynolds was a part of a big email group I was invited to join as a fluke one time by one of The Simpsons writer/producers who knows my husband better and was just being generous. RR is insanely clever and has a fantastic sense of humor. That helped me get over my aversion to him after films like “Van Wilder.”

  12. Taradash says:

    like any other hollywood story, I would like to hear her story, im sure it will be done is good taste. she’s not bitter towards him, i have seen alot of her “post” RR interviews

    He is really great to watch, so it Scarlett. She seems alittle flighty, hopefully the relationship will settle them down.

  13. Lem says:

    I want to hear her admit “you oughta know” is not about Uncle Joey. Please god not him. I seriously don’t want to find out it was him when I”m 80.
    I’d be interested to read a bio from her on her. But I don’t really see it happening. That’s what the music is for.

    ScarJo is probably uncomfortable with whole idea. anyone is bound to be off-put by the idea of an ex dishing all about the relationship with your husband. Add to that Alanis is more famous and the promo tour. This means Alanis will be questioned about bouncing quarters off RR’s ass by everyone from Regis to Ellen to Letterman. Not exactly what the newlyweds need I’m sure.

  14. danielle says:

    Oops, sorry Scarlett, your man used to be with a REAL artist.

  15. jade says:

    Anyone else remember that a couple of gossip sources (ted casablanca and someone else I can’t think of who) claim that Ryan left her for Scarlett? I highly doubt those two are as squeaky clean as they appear in all of this.

  16. kristin says:

    Love Alanis, and I hope she comes out with an autobiography. I’m sure it’ll be tasteful, interesting, and insightful – - nothing trashy or petty or boring.

  17. kristin says:

    I don’t think RR and Scarlett are going to last long term anyway. They both seem pretty self-centered and there are already rumors of fights…

  18. vin says:

    alanis had the pain again, not as pronounce as she had during 90′s era but i can feel her innate emotion from this break up and from this man, i am a man too, and as a person, i have feelings too, it;s not only the “girls” who have an feelings im saying this because i am man feeling for alanis’ struggles in this topic).. anyway, not to get away from what i wanna say, maybe ryan has his reasons (we just dnt know if for nothing or for his own sake) and that reason’s the devastating thought that made alanis struggle again..

    big mistake for ryan,

  19. Iggles says:

    I love Alanis! I always will. I remember when my sister got “Little Jagged Pill” on cassette tape! Amazing album. I like a lot of her recent songs too. She’s amazing.

  20. Diablo says:

    Alanis strikes me as a kind of bunny-boiling stalker who can’t get over being dumped a decade ago.

    She doesn’t even look good any more, she looks like that motivational guru Tim Robbins.

  21. Annie says:

    Big surprise.

    It’s Alanis I put all my feelings into songs Morisette.

    Of course she’s doing a tell-all memoir.

  22. Sudini says:

    Thanks for posting those lyrics Bela – I’ve never heard that song but my GOD you’re right. Those lyrics are devastating. I really love Alanis and I’m surprised she was with Ryan actually – he comes across as so totally vapid. She deserves someone with a soul and I’m sure she’ll find that.

  23. Rob74 says:

    “She deserves someone with a soul and I’m sure she’ll find that.”

    She is dating an environmental lawyer since 2007

  24. Zoe (The Other One) says:

    It’s promising to be terribly angsty and a bit too over-sharing for me I’m afraid.

    Gawd, fancy admitting losing a MAN devastates you that much. Even if that man is Ryan Reynolds I’d be inclined to be a little more ‘stiff upper lip’ about the whole thing. I hope she retains some dignity and just bitches about her ex rather than dissolve into hysterics over him.

  25. Goddess711 says:

    “Go all Alanis on’em” Alanis! WOOHOOO! Getting pissed therapy makes her money -Alanis-countability style. LOVE IT!

  26. stacy says:

    Iggles- its “Jagged Little Pill”

    But anyways, LOOOOVE Alanis!!! i have gone through so many copies of aforementioned album! I love some good man hater music once in a while!!!!! Cant wait to read the book.

    Ryans an idiot.

  27. Danielle says:

    Also, most ppl in LA know that their engagement was broken off not because he dumped HER, but because the engagement was too long for him cause he needed to get married. Everybody knows this!

  28. Nancy Stephens says:

    I can’t wait for this book to come out; I’d love nothing more than to see Scarlett squirm…..Alanis is a WAY better artist AND a much nicer person than Scarlett….I wonder if Scarlett doesn’t realize that on some level..and that is maybe why she is pissed off about Alanis’s book..for the record I hope Ryan is pissed too.. he deserves to be pissed for being such a shallow a** hole…for thinking youth,breasts, and great sex would make for a great marriage…it takes a lot more than that…..Ryan made the mistake of his life by marrying Slutface Johasson….so… what did Slutface give Ryan for a wedding gift again? Syphilis? Gonnorhea? Genital herpes? AIDS? All of the above? Hmm….

  29. Nancy Stephens says:

    and anywya,if Ryan wanted/needed to get married then why didn’t he just work through his insecuities and stay w/ Alanis… obviously… if Ryan and Scarlett are fighting the grass is no greener on the other side…I love Sandra Bullock- she is smart,beautiful,talented and runs MUCH DEEPER than either Ryan or Scralett….. but I don’t think even SHE can save Ryan and Scarlett’s marriage…Scarlett is too young, immature and self- absorbed