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A week ago, there was a curious story about three NYPD officers and how the police department was investigating a local Shake Shack. The incident involved the three cops ordering milkshakes and feeling like something was “off” with the shakes, and somehow that became “Shake Shack purposefully poisoned NYPD officers with bleach!” The story has come during a time where cops around the country have been caught in lies both big and small, and it comes during a time when cops around the country are revealing their asinine persecution complexes over sh-t like “having to wait for a McMuffin.” Anyway, no one actually believed that Shake Shack poisoned milkshakes or that Shack Shake employees are antifa agents looking to put bleach in cops’ shakes. So what exactly happened? The NY Post did a follow-up story and here’s what basically happened:

The three cops at the center of the NYPD milkshake “poisoning” scandal never even got sick, and there wasn’t the slightest whiff of criminality from the get-go — but that didn’t stop gung-ho brass from rolling out the crime scene tape and unions from dishing out empty conspiracy theories, The Post has learned.

The three officers were down from The Bronx, on protest duty in Lower Manhattan, on June 15 when they ordered the now-infamous mid-shift treats via a mobile app around 7:30 p.m., purchasing three shakes across two separate orders, sources said. Their drinks were waiting for them when they arrived at the Shake Shack on the second floor of 200 Broadway a few minutes later. A female officer picked up her strawberry shake from the front counter, and her two male colleagues grabbed their cherry and vanilla drinks from a side counter, sources said.

Police sources explained it was clear that the workers couldn’t have known cops had placed the orders “since it wasn’t done in person” — and they couldn’t have dosed the drinks after the officers arrived, because they were packaged and waiting for pickup when the trio walked in.

Soon after sipping the shakes, however, the cops realized they didn’t taste or smell right, so they threw the drinks in the trash and alerted a manager, who apologized and issued them vouchers for free food or drink, which they accepted, according to sources.

But when the cops told their sergeant about the incident, the supervisor called in the Emergency Service Unit to set up a crime scene at the fast-food joint for an evidence search around 9:20 p.m. — nearly two hours after they first got the sour shakes. The three were rushed to Bellevue Hospital, where they were examined and released without ever showing symptoms, sources said.

Meanwhile, a lieutenant from the Bronx blasted out an email to the unions that six cops “started throwing up after drinking beverages they got from shake shack on 200 Broadway.” It was unclear why the sergeant and lieutenant escalated the situation. Detectives easily closed the case after interviewing five employees and reviewing surveillance footage showing the shakes were made normally, sources said. The machine was cleaned before the officers ordered, according to sources, and it still contained residual milkstone remover — a typically acidic solution used to combat buildup in dairy equipment.

But by 10:45 p.m., the Detectives Endowment Association was declaring that Finest had become “ill” after being “intentionally poisoned by one or more workers at the Shake Shack” — as Police Benevolent Association president Pat Lynch made a show of visiting Bellevue while his union declared at 10:47 p.m. that police officers came “under attack” from a “toxic substance, believed to be bleach.”

[From The NY Post]

“It was unclear why the sergeant and lieutenant escalated the situation.” Because cops are giant babies? Because the cops are liars? Because why NOT take a simple fast-food issue to the worst possible place? Because all of these cops don’t understand that the public – which they’re meant to protect and serve – is tired of their horsesh-t? It’s quite clear that these men – and I feel certain that everyone with power in this situation was a man – thought they could stage an incident to feed into the narrative that they were being attacked and persecuted, and they didn’t see what was wrong with targeting fast-food workers with their lies.

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