Miley Cyrus has new music out, which means she’s done a media blitz. Which means there are a million new interviews with her and an assortment of Miley-tastic quotes. Y’all know how I feel – I’ve gotten to the point where I can handle her in small doses, but I can already feel myself pulling away from the Miley Show if this sh-t goes on for days/weeks/months. I wish she was one of those artists who could just let her music *exist* without adding an entirely new confessional persona on top of it. Even Taylor Swift has stopped doing that! Miley should too. Anyway, here were some quotes I found somewhat interesting.
Whether she’s interested in having babies: “Not really, I never really cared that much. I am sure that my fans are going to pull up me at 12 saying ‘oh I want to have kids’ but like I don’t, as a 27 year old woman that would have a little bit more of a realistic idea of what they want. That has never been kind of my priority. I actually think in a way, just looking at our climate change and our water and food it feels like to me if anything to me if anything that I would like to take someone that is on the earth. I love adoption and I think that’s really amazing. I definitely don’t think, I do not shame anyone that wants to have children. I just personally don’t believe that’s a priority for me in my life.”
On the possibility of getting remarried: “For me I don’t just really think about marriage and things like this anymore… I follow a lot of feminists online and it’s kind of like, how many men do you ask if they are going to get married or have kids? I’m sure maybe you do want to buy into Jonas Brothers and things like that, but I don’t think that many men feel the pressure to have kids and to get married.”
She’s feeling super-goth about Liam Hemsworth: “I had a very public, very big breakup that was over a 10-year span of a relationship… It’s like a death when you lose a love that deep. It feels like a death…. Honestly, sometimes [death] even feels easier because [with a breakup] the person is still walking on the earth.”
She lost her V to Liam when she was 16: “I lied and said he wasn’t the first so I didn’t feel like a loser,” Cyrus revealed, explaining that she kept the truth a secret from Hemsworth for 10 years.
[From Just Jared & Harper’s Bazaar]
I’ll give Miley this: I appreciate her honesty about her disinterest in having kids. I feel similarly and when asked, I’ll give various reasons why I never gave a sh-t but the fundamental reason is that I never gave a sh-t. I never had those fantasies of being a mother, it never interested me. I like that Miley has gotten to the point where she shrugs and says it flatly like that. It’s never been her priority. She’s interested in other things. Maybe she’ll adopt at some point, maybe she won’t. Now, that being said, I’m 100% positive that she’ll remarry! She’ll do it, but only for the attention.
Photos courtesy of Backgrid.
When I was in my 20s, I vaguely talked about having kids only because it was expected. I kept pushing the date out. “Maybe when I’m 30.” Both of my brothers started having kids and not once did I feel a longing to have my own. I didn’t even like babysitting them. I just don’t want the responsibility. And in TODAY’s world, I don’t even know how parents get through the day not being worried sick or having complete breakdowns. You couldn’t pay me to be a kid In today’s society. It’s a nightmare. Eventually I got to the point where I realized I don’t want kids and I don’t care who knows about it.
Speaking to your comment about complete breakdowns, it has been especially difficult to be brave and joyful (which I find to be the most important aspect both of being in this world, and coping with this world) lately and mostly during lockdown. At times we couldn’t sleep, at others it was night after night with nightmares… You name it. I have 4 kids but underwent an abortion at the end of last year. I couldn’t cope with the idea of bringing a person into this messed up world. When I took that decision, it became even more evident how worried I am about climate change, forced migration, recession, pandemics, extreme right-wing politics…
But we are here and we are making it work. It also helps to look at people who are making a difference, who are fighting and helping. From major turmoil comes major change.
Here’s hoping.
I can sympathize. I had a coworker who has 4 kids, 3 of them boys (African American) and her fear for them daily was palpable even to me. She would constantly check in on them through out the day to make sure they were OK. One day, when she couldn’t track down her son after school let out, I literally witnessed a slow motion breakdown with every minute that passed I until she left work in tears going to look for him. It turned out he was perfectly fine and just wasn’t near his phone. But, I’ll never forget that moment and just highlighted why I don’t have kids of my own.
Here in the UK there is a lot of knife crime and my oldest son and the middle one (I also have 3 boys) are right in the age range of it. A 14 year old was stabbed not far from our house and it got me so worried I thought I’d pass out. I even called one of the mum’s in my little one’s school as she is the head of one of the high schools involved and was met with such coldness that I was really taken aback. I even thought I was over-reacting until I heard she has sent her kids to a private school… And she is a public school head… So, yes, I sympathise with your colleague.
Slowsnow I completely feel the same. I have 3 kids and right now it’s really hard to feel joy and be brave. I live in southern PA and all the schools are virtual, but we opted for cyber just because I don’t think school can be safely done right now. So for continuity’s sake, we did cyber. I haven’t even gotten curriculum, but the supplies list and basic schedule just has been completely overwhelming. I’m freaking out and wondering what I got myself into, if I can even do it and will I completely screw up my kids. My daughter is going into 4th grade which I feel is where learning begins to change and you get the building blocks for more “adult” learning and now I’m up wondering if I’m doing the right thing. But in the end, I’ll do what I need to and I’ll make it work because I have no other choice.
Yeah, we’ve robbed them of their future because of climate change and now we’re ruining their education because we can’t get the pandemic under control. This is not a great time to be a kid.
Same here. I always assumed I’d get married and have kids, because that’s just what you do. Then I started my career, got my own place, time went on, and I never felt the urge to do either. I thought about it a lot, and always came back to “it’s just not what I want”. I babysat a ton as a kid, and worked at various summer rec and daycare programs. I love my friends’ kids. I just do not want that for myself, and if I had been on the fence, the past few years would have pushed me firmly onto the no side.
I don’t like Miley, but i admire her being honest here. And I hate that she’s even asked these questions, as if that’s all a woman can think about.
I’m similar – I’ve nannied, interact very positively with kids and I’m the favorite “Auntie” to my best friend’s daughter. I’d take a bullet for that kid if I had to on instinct, love her as much as a blood relative. But I’ve never felt any desire to bring my own children into the world. One of the many reasons is I find pregnancy traumatic and decided early on, “nope, not for this body!”
I don’t think procreating is sacred or an inherent drive for everyone. We each have different roles to play in society and there are plenty of parents already! I sympathize, but I’m so, so grateful not to be responsible right now for children in a pandemic and with America in such turmoil. I can barely take care of myself lately.
Aside from all of the really acute issues right now, I’m worried that my children will never not struggle financially. My husband and I have managed to create a solidly middle class life, but I can see how even our contemporaries struggle. We’re all one misstep away from failing. There’s so many things we could be doing as a society to ensure that the middle class can exist and thrive and bring up everyone else, but too many people are worried about it benefiting the ‘wrong kind’ of people. It’s so disheartening. I wish I could make my parents understand that there is no security anymore. The kind of money they have now makes them comfortable but will be a pittance if we keep down this road, and they’ll be dead by the time that happens.
One of the main things that motivates us and drives us through these dire times is our kids. I’m very thankful and wouldn’t know how I’d make it through this without them.
But she was pregnant at some point during the mariage or did I dream that?
ETA: I looked it up and it was just a rumor, I thought it was official but I was wrong.
I mean, even if she was that doesn’t make anything she’s saying not true. If she accidentally got pregnant, she could still very much not want kids.
There has been moments of speculation on and off in the tabloids, but nothing official. Interestingly, her ex Cody just gave an interview back in March and said he wanted kids in the future. So, that’s probably partially why they split.
These days, you have to be prepared for the huge financial cost of having and raising children on average incomes. I suppose that sounds shallow but it is a factor in deciding whether to have them or not. Those 20 or more years really takes a huge bite out of your take home pay. I did put my son through school because I didn’t want him to be crippled with student loans until he was in his 40’s. I’m not sorry now because he has a good job now, but it took a lot to get there.
Marlowe17 I don’t think it sounds shallow at all… every child born multiplies the expenses that come up and I think it’s only responsible to acknowledge that and be realistic about where that money might or might not come from. People used to have upwards of 10-12 children and that is simply unsustainable and frankly, crazy, unless you inherit a fortune (though very few rich people have herds of children, it seems…)
K or you’re a Duggar style fundie who has no interest in nurturing or educating children, they’re just there to be good little quivers for the lawd.
I 1,000% agree about not caring about having kids. I’m quite a bit older than Miley and never regretted not having kids. But I still get asked the proverbial question “Don’t you wish you had kids?” or “You’ll regret not having kids later in life”. Guess what….it’s later and I don’t regret it.
I understand that some women want them and that is wonderful. Also, some don’t and that is also wonderful. Let’s end the judgement!
@ Renee : In my thirties, I had many women tell me privately that they wished they had my single, childless life, saying things like “I love my kids BUT …..”. It was really sobering for me because they were all admitting some regret about their choice to become a mother or that they hadn’t delayed it to later in their lives. It gave me the feeling that there is a lot of quiet despair out there with women. At least Miley is being honest and I feel the same way – it was never a priority for me – not motherhood and not marriage.
I’m not a huge Miley fan but I’m glad she’s saying these things. Not everyone wants kids or a marriage, but the pressure on women to want both is still there. Good for her.
Agree. Maybe she will remarry but it’s no big deal if she doesn’t. She seemed really bored in her marriag.pe. Not everyone wants kids, especially at her age. Some change their mind, some never do. Now maybe people can stop asking her about it.
I also like her in small doses.
I believe that taking a lot of recreational drugs and getting a bit distracted by futile things may hinder her development, but I give her a huge break knowing she came from a really uneducated child actor past (contrary to Portman, the Dakotas etc).
She does try to be a feminist and to think about the options she has as a woman and the added pressures she suffers from it. This is a good example.
You mean the Fannings, lol? :-). I like the Dakotas, though.
The “desire to have kids” question always hits me wrong. People see it in an interview and believe it to be cast in stone. The Miley (or whoever) at age 27 might have very different life and/or career priorities than the same person at 30 or 35. Pigeonholing people in that way just seems unfair.
Yeah, I mean… do people ask men her age that question?
Yeah, part of me thinks her being so public about not wanting kids could come back to bite her in the ass. If she changes her mind (planned or unplanned), it will be probably be painted as an evil revenge pregnancy.
But this line of comment is also problematic. Sometimes we just know from the time that we’re kids that we aren’t into being a mom. I’ve felt this way since I was 5 and guess what? I’m 36 now and I still feel the exact same and don’t regret anything.
It’s fine if she changes her mind you’re right, but saying oh she might just to appease people who think women SHOULD have kids is just wrong.
I was once, aged five, asked by a nosy neighbour “and how many children would you like?” Apparently I looked straight at her and replied ” I’m not going to have children I’m going to have a CAREER”
I will give the five year old me credit, she knew what she was talking about.
I knew if from a young age too that I do not want to have kids.
I can tolerate kids from around 6 or older, but I dont like babies or toddlers and I never babysat anyone’s kids. I dont even like to hold them so I used to ‘disappear’ when people came into the office to show off their babies.
People kept telling me in the 20s and 30s that I will change my mind. I am now 44 and they have finally stopped asking.
At least she has stopped sticking her tongue
out, I just couldn’t stand that. All I’ve got.
I agree. Also her tongue had an awful color to it. Nasty looking, tbh. js imo. Oh wait, Miley does looks nasty!!
I admire people who recognize they don’t desire to have kids and it also spares children from growing up raised by parents who don’t truly enjoy parenthood.
I side-eye her comments about virginity. Don’t her parents move into their house her boyfriend when she was like 14? I’m not going to police a woman’s sexuality or sexual partners, but I think there’s some revisionist history happening to cover up what really happened. And yes, I DO feel super icky talking about a 14 year old’s sexual history. I remember thinking it so weird that her parents would do that.
Yes I remember that too. I also was surprised what she said about Liam because I remember her bf living with her in her parents house b4 she met Liam. I think that boyfriends name was French, and she had his name tattooed under her left breast I think. Probably covered up now. I remember being surprised she had a live-in bf at such a young age and at her parents house.
I don’t remember if they actually ended up living together or not, but she was 15 when they started dating and they were together for less than a year. Given how much she tries to shock and be edgy when it comes to sex, I don’t think she’s lying. https://www.oneindia.com/2009/03/12/miley-cyrus-not-moving-in-with-beau-justin-gaston.html
Wasn’t there a rumor about she and Nick Jonas being each others first? Probably just a rumour though…
i didn’t want kids, didn’t want kids, didn’t want kids, maybe wanted kids, had kids, and now, 19 years later, I’m glad I had them, I’m REALLY glad I had two in one shot, but I don’t think it would have been terrible had I not had them. I mean, I love them to death, but they weren’t necessary to fulfill my life. Does that sound horrible?
@paranormal, not at all. I have three kids I adore, and some days I wish I had just pursued my career more aggressively and vacationed in some amazing places. Parenthood happiness swings back and forth; some days it’s blissful, and some days it feel like I’m being tortured. There’s absolutely nothing wrong in being honest, then picking up and doing what you need to do to survive and make sure your little folks are okay too.
No that doesn’t sound horrible at all. Your honesty is refreshing. I see so many parents that lie about their true feelings regarding their kids. Pat on the back to you for your honesty !
I think I understand what you’re saying. I wanted to have kids but would only do it if I found the perfect fit to be a dad. A person I know I could trust no matter what. I was never one of those people wanting marriage and children obsessively. If it came, ok.
It did come but I tell my kids now that it was because I found the person I know would be the love of my life and, failing that, a completely trustworthy person.
I don’t know if that is going to make sense, but I was open to whatever life threw at me. Kids or not. What I mean is that I love life in all its forms (with kids or without) and that is the reason I ended up with kids but it could have been the reason I would have ended up childless too.
I was super confident about not having kids in my twenties and early thirties, but now that I’m hitting up the biological time window for them – I’m in my late thirties – I find myself kinda on the fence and a little bit regretful. However I never had the kind of trusting, secure, long term relationship you need (IMHO) if you decide to bring kids into this world. It’s a complicated feeling, but having a kid now, without proper support, with all the focus I’ve given to my career, would feel a bit selfish… and also like giving an hostage to fortune, in these times.
Miley is young, and a bit “messed up” (recreational drugs &co, I think), but she may yet find stability and a supportive relationship and a desire for children. But she may not. And both are alright. 🙂
I’ve never wanted kids – I’ve gone along with past boyfriends in talking about it, but it was only in the last five years (I’m 32 now) that I’ve really put my foot down and said “no, no kids for me.” My current boyfriend knows where I stand and he’s okay with it (and if he decides he wants them, the door is right over there!).
I have only respect for those that have kids – it’s a hard, thankless job. I just know that I am way too selfish to ever have kids. My dog is more than enough for me!
I wouldn’t say you’re selfish. Having kids can also be a selfish act if you think about it. Some people only want kids because they think those kids are going to take care of them in old age.
Some parents just want to live through their kids and have their kids accomplish what they themselves couldn’t do.
@pk – came here to say what you just posted –
thank you for phrasing it so well!
@ Redgrl
Well thank you !
pk, that’s such a great way to think of it. I’ll be using this when family/random busybodies get on my case about it – thank you!
I agree, PK! Well put!
I don’t think it’s any more selfish not to want kids than to want them. We all spend a lot of time justifying a decision that needs zero justification. Just like “no” is a complete answer, so is “I don’t want kids.” And so is “I do want kids.”
I always wanted kids and have three. I used to give all sorts of reasons for my procreative choices, and I’ve heard women do the same about theirs. But really, all it comes down to is: This is what I want. And that’s fine.
You see, I’ve gotten to a point in which I don’t believe in ANYTHING she says. Her whole deal is about the public persona she has created for everyone to buy. To me, there’s nothing about her that says “honest” or “authentic”.
This! Right down to her songs about breaking up right as she breaks up. Her and her people obviously plot and plan this right down to the last minute detail. Everything about her is fake and contrived. I would feel bad for her but she is so unlikeable.
I agree. She reinvents herself every few years. It’s hard to believe anything she says. Plus, she lied to her Ex about him being her first? That makes zero sense. I think that’s a lie.
I could see lying about it when she was 16 years old, he was a few years older and probably more experienced, but not coming clean for 10 years? That is insane.
You put my thoughts into word better than I could do myself.
Agreed. I enjoy her music but her persona is exhausting and I think she just reinvents herself depending on her promotion. I can too see her getting married again and adopting kids in her mid 30’s
She’s the new Madonna. She is attention seeking and so in a few years she will have reinvented herself again. Nothing wrong with any of that, but at this point I just don’t put any stock in anything she says.
She sounds really grown up. She’s right, and I feel more celebrities should speak about this kids=worry, there is no way otherwise. You cannot have kids and not feel it. I use to pressure my single family member and friends to have kids, but I dont any more. I used to think the 50’s parents, home and 3 kids equaled happiness, but relaize the kids part is unnecessary formula to hapiness. Society for hundreds of years have been shoving this down our throats to the point where we think there is no other way, but it’s got to stop, it’s costing us the environment, more greed, a burden to society. Carrying on your bloodline is overrated! The more we ourselves do this, the more it would be accepted as the norm in society, the more people will realize you dont need them, I’m hoping more sitcoms to be about adult family members and friends than familes with young kids, I’m hoping more subrubs will fill up with single people just wanting to buy a small house.
Thank you for your thoughtful response. A friend of mine directed a documentary about this very subject, it’s called To Kid or Not To Kid; I highly recommend it. Also, there’s a supplementary to the film on PBS where adults on opposite sides of the spectrum regarding the decision to have or not have children have a conversation around the subject (can be googled using film title and PBS) and it’s great too.
Thanks, I’ll definitely check it out!
I had neighbours who proudly displayed their *d.i.n.k. bumper stickers. They were very smug people.
*double income, no kids.
Thanks, Yinyang. Great post. Lady D, I love the idea of a DINK bumper sticker 🙂
I’m glad, because it just seems like she would damage them. I agree with what she’s saying about men not being asked these questions though.
I do not particularly like this woman, but readying this I can’t help but feel less alone when it comes to not having this undying urge to have my own children. I’ve always feel very alienated and “broken” by not being one of those people who “always wanted kids” or “always saw themselves as a parent”
You’re not broken. You’re making the best decision for you and that’s all that matters.
I do have a kid (that I planned for, love, and would die for) but I didn’t always want kids or always saw myself as a parent. That’s true of some of the best mothers I know as well. Circumstances worked out for me and I chose to have a child, and while I don’t regret that for a second, I would’ve been fine if I had made a different choice, too. Do or don’t have a child-that’s up to you, but don’t let anyone make you feel like you have to have some undying urge to eventually parent. We don’t talk about fatherhood that way! Parenting is a thing you do, not a thing you feel, much like love/marriage.
Just know that sometimes mothers feel jeolous of you too. Sometimes we feel trapped, sometimes we feel we have to stay and behave ourselves and do the right thing, and stay in relationships or dead end jobs because we have other people to always think about. I cannot up and leave my relationship for someone else, I can’t make big purchases without feeling guilty, I can’t make time for myself for art classes without feeling a tinge of guilt. That guilt sucks us whole.
It’s interesting how our childhoods are the happiest days of our life, so I wonder if singlehood is continuing our happiest days, or if motherhood in making another little person’s happiest time of their life, and the saying goes it’s better to give than to receive, which one would make us happier…I don’t know…I think it’s time to get off my thought train, lol.
Exactly. She’s not likeable at all to me, but I’m all for honesty on the topic of not dreaming of having kids.
Nope, you’re ok.
I never particularly wanted and was way over the age when we got our kid, and I love her dearly. I would still not be less of a Woman or person if we did not have any.
#1. Choice. To bear children is a choice everyone should be able to make with full and proper health care. And it is a decision that others have no say in or business questioning, Amen.
#2. I feel old and very sad to hear that any one feels they have to lie about being or not being a virgin. At any age. To hear she felt at 16 years old she had to lie about being a virgin to not feel a “loser”. Good grief, her parents did a lousy job in helping her feel it’s OK to live at your own pace.
So, she was never really herself with Liam, how sad. Their marriage never stood a chance, IMO.
To know yourself, your wants, needs, etc. is very important and some of us take years to figure ourselves out. I know I did.
You make a very good point. How strange that she could never tell the truth – be truthful with her own husband. Says a lot about their relationship and how safe she felt in it. Interesting. And quite sad.
maybe not “safe”, I see it as in nothing comfortable with her own self, always relying on appearances. She probably was torn between wanting away from her parents, having to support her whole family and being “uber-cool”.
10 years of lying to the one you supposedly love and want to be with, how much has she lied to herself? Always wanting tome “on”.
yes, better for everyone that she stays child-free.
She abhors being seen as “normal”, stable. for her that seems to be boring.
What a confused woman she is, I blame her parents, but she’s her own boss now and should know better.
Whether you want them or not is precisely what choice is all about: The ability to choose your own destiny, whether that includes kids or not.
I honor all the choices. I’m a mother, proudly so, but it can be like the most rigorous bootcamp every single day. It’s not for the faint of heart or those who are only so-so about it. In other words, if it’s not a “Fuck yeah!” then it’s a no.
So good for her.
In related news, is it just me or does that lead pic look eerily similar to Amanda Bynes?
And yet there are those of us who never wanted children but have three. 😱
I find asking women if they want kids to be so strange, because it’s subject to change at any time between the ages of 18 and 45, lol. I had a friend who swore up and down she didn’t want kids ALL THE TIME when she was in college, and I always just said “I respect that and think that’s a totally valid choice, but you don’t need to make up your mind right now.” Now that she’s settled and married, guess what? Wants kids.
I’m 27 and while I do love kids and would be happy to have them — I think it’s situational whether or not I actually will. If I meet someone I desperately want kids with, great. If I meet someone who doesn’t want kids and wants to travel and focus on work, great. If I don’t meet anyone anytime soon and just keep doing what I’m doing in my career? Great. Other factors include how much money I’m making/whether I can afford children, the state of the world, where I’m living, my job demands, etc. I never saw the point in declaring one way or another if you want children, because it can change based on how the rest of your life changes. I know there are people who just NEED to be parents and can’t imagine their life without children, but I’ve always seen it more from a practical standpoint.
Never been a Miley fan but I’m with her. Kids don’t appeal to me. I love travelling the world. I’m becoming a doctor – when would I find time? Why would I want to, knowing that the cost of childcare alone each month is the cost of an exotic holiday? When everyone is so judgemental and outright cruel no matter how hard you work to do the right thing for yourself? The world is very unaccommodating to the women who do go through immense stress to raise children. There is minimal support. You have to dedicate yourself beyond capacity to balance everything society demands of you…. F that.
I get why others want them – it’s just I personally am not interested in that kind of physical and emotional labour just to fall behind at work, in my education, and possibly in society. If we could get up to speed with proper supports then maybe. Want to grow the population but don’t want to make it appealing? Myself and many other women my age are out.
I also agree with her re: adoption.
Collective sigh of relief that she will not be procreating.
IKR…it would be like growing up in a 3-ring circus.
I went from absolutely-not wanting kids, to *considering it* for my husband’s sake, to resigning myself to the inevitability of it even though it wasn’t a priority or real interest tbh. I figured I could ‘make it work’. Well, last year my birth control was due to expire, so we had ‘the talk’ about going off it, during which I had a full-blown panic attack. We decided to wait another 6 months, and during that time both realized and agreed that neither of us felt particularly compelled to have kids. I had my birth control replaced and then the pandemic happened and we always talk about how grateful we are to have made this decision. Long journey but yeah, we all have our reasons.
Thank goodness she doesn’t want kids. That would be an absolute sh*tshow.
Preach!
I love hearing younger people say they don’t want kids and live their life in their terms. I love my kid but we have enough people in the world and don’t need kids brought in who aren’t wanted. I’m 33 and most of my friends don’t have kids because of economic issues and they have other things going on. Part of me is a little jealous of the Chrissy Teigans and Victoria Beckham’s who can afford to have large families and nannies and all that but I know having that many kids probably wouldn’t be a good thing for me because I don’t have a ton of money and resources and it’s hard to raise kids without that kind of help as a normal person (though many do and rock it!). I’m glad women are doing what they want more and more and not doing kids and husbands if they don’t want it.
I’m 58 years old and never wanted children. Never went Gaga over babies or children. Now those 4 legged humans will always have a piece of my heart.
Me too – I’m 67 and not once did my womb change my mind. Now my fur babies….that’s a whole different matter.
61 here. Kids are cute when they are somebody else’s. Single and no children. No regrets.
The more she talks the more obvious it is how utterly wrong for each other she and Liam were. Because I can guarantee that he does want kids and the whole domestic nine yards.
‘She’ll do it, but only for the attention.’
That’ll be why she adopts too.
My first thought when she said she wasn’t interested in kids was yeah cant pull focus from yourself.
I am not saying all childless people are like that but Miley sure is and in that case she shouldn’t have kids then
I was never into babies or children. I couldn’t see myself ever having them. It was until I met my husband that I really had the desire. So we had our 1 child when I was 37. But that’s it. Just the one. Due to finances and our ages. I like little kids a lot more now but am still not big on small babies. It is crazy – I would die for my son without a second thought. I never fully understood that before.
I had my son at the age of 20 and didn’t ask myself any kind of questions about the future.
That being said, he is now a tween and while I love him more than anything in the world, I also feel guilty because what kind of world is he going to grow old in ? The way climate change goes, in 2050 he will still be quite young and will probably experience terrifying things when it comes to his environment.
My son and his 6-8 friends are between 28-33yo. Only one of them has had children, (2 only) the rest are opting out. They all say climate change.
Who knows what she really thinks. She’s just dropping quotes for attention. And she only released new music because she has a new haircut to promote.
Didn’t she say she wouldn’t have kids until there were “fish in the sea” etc? She’s also worried about climate change and environmental degradation like everyone out there. That’s the key reason I have not had and will never have kids. They won’t grow up in a world that’s anything close to the worry-free childhood environment I was lucky enough to have had. I look at California, Siberia, Australia, and other places with annual wildfires and I feel deep sorrow and grief for our dying biosphere. James Lovelock said he and the biosphere are both in the last 1% of their lives. I think it’s sensible to really get the hang of this idea if you’re 40 – 50 and under and will likely experience some climate-related tumult in your life.
I love kids (I work with teens) but I wanted to be a step-mom because 1) I think parenting should be a group activity. I think it always has been until comparatively recently, and 2) I think I would have gone insane being responsible for a kid 24/7 🙂
At 60, I have loved being a stepmom, I adore my grandkids, and they have 4 grandfathers and 4 grandmothers. There aren’t just two choices – have kids or don’t have kids. They are lots of ways to parent a child.
That’s the most conscientious thing she could ever do.