Drew Barrymore, after three divorces: ‘Never, never. I will never get married again’

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Drew Barrymore covers the latest issue of People Magazine. I covered the first excerpts from her cover interview, where she was mostly talking about her new talk show and how she’s going to shy away from soapboxes and know-it-alls, which sounds foreboding. Beyond my apprehension of this talk show, I do sort of halfway like Drew though. I especially like the fact that she didn’t throw herself into some ill-fated romance following her divorce from Will Kopelman. That was her third marriage and I think when that one didn’t stick, Drew was like “you know what, no mas.” She spoke with People about that too:

Hopeless romantic: “I am a hopeless romantic, and everybody on this planet needs love in some form. And we are constantly contending with relationships. Love and those relationships may look differently for people. But it’s there at its core. So, I can’t help but want to explore and examine that.”

She’s tried online dating: “I’ve tried it. I went on a couple of dates. A lot of people totally ghosted me. And one time I was waiting to go on a date, and at the time we were supposed to meet he just wrote, ‘Yeah, I can’t.’ But I’d rather hang out with my friends.”

She won’t get married again: “Never. Never, never, never. I will never get married again! And I also believe people should not say the word ‘never,’ and I will never, with a capital N-E-V-E-R, never get married. It’s like I have two options: Cut it—this has not worked—or be Elizabeth Taylor. And I have too many more to go. I never want to be entwined with someone like that again ever. You break up, and you move on. You get divorced, and it’s just so different. I love that we are trying to hold on to an institution that [started] when the closest person to you for companionship was a three-day horse ride away and your life span was 30 years.”

She’s not opposed to finding love again: “It doesn’t mean that maybe I wouldn’t like to meet someone, especially when my kids go off to college. Or a year from now, I could be totally in love. I’m open to it; I’m not seeking it. My cup runneth over. I have so much love in my life.”

[From People]

I kind of enjoy all of this? As someone with little interest in marriage, I enjoy it when someone who has been through it all – marriage and divorce, three times – ends up agreeing with me. Marriage was different back in the day, when people died from the plague at the age of 30 and women were little more than property or political props. OPT OUT! There’s nothing wrong with meaningful partnerships and tons of people have great, healthy marriages, of course. But there’s also nothing wrong with saying “been there, done that, got the t-shirt and I never want to do it again.” There’s nothing wrong with saying “that looks terrible and I never want that for myself.” I kind of think it’s funny that Drew believes she basically only has two options: done at three marriages or go Full Liz Taylor.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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37 Responses to “Drew Barrymore, after three divorces: ‘Never, never. I will never get married again’”

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  1. nicegirl says:

    I just hear Ross’ voice “THREE DIVORCES” every time. I’m ridic(ulous)!

    I’m a never married lady and not sure I’ll transition to an ever married this lifetime. For years I was bummed about it but now I’m STOKED AF.

    45 years old me is about to become a MANEATER. LIKE MF Woah, here she comes! Watch out boys, she’ll chew you up! xoxoxo bitches love ya

  2. lucy2 says:

    That’s always been my theory – if you’ve gotten divorced three times, take that as a sign it’s time to stop getting married. Have great relationships and partnerships, but no more marriages.

    • I think marriage is like having children. It’s not for everybody and there should be no freaking pressure to do either! I used to teach parenting and have to say SO MANY of the people I taught SHOULD NOT have had kids. Seeing that has always made me admire people who know themselves well enough to know they don’t want kids, or would not be the best at it (no shame in that AT ALL) and had the self-possession to withstand the relentless societal and familial pressure to marry and reproduce. That has to stop. Let people live tier damn Iives.

  3. Lori says:

    Ive been married for nearly 20 years. Its a good relationship but I often wish it had never progressed beyond him sleeping over 3 nites a week.

    • tealily says:

      Haha, I know what you mean! We love each other, enjoy each other’s company, etc. but a lot of our time is spent negotiating space. I have married friends who each kept their own house when they got married (second marriage for both of them). I think it’s a great idea, if you can afford it!

    • The Truth Piper says:

      Sometimes no house is large enough.

    • Granger says:

      Ha! I totally understand. Love my husband, but sometimes I wish I’d never gotten married.

  4. Stef says:

    I like what she’s saying here. I was married once and doubt I’ll do it again. I was my ex husband’s third wife and he quickly moved on to marry #4 after we split up. Some people just can’t be alone and identify with being married.

    Anyone else wonder about why she married Tim Green? Also, who would ghost her?!?

  5. Ginger says:

    Marriage is, historically, a raw deal for women. I’ve never been interested.

    • lucy2 says:

      The older I get, the more I agree. Every straight married woman I know shoulders more of the load than her husband, even those married to the “good ones” who are involved parents or help take care of the house. I notice it even at work – the men do their primary job, and the women do our primary job, PLUS all the other million little things that help the business run.

      • jbones says:

        As a child, I’d watch my mom do EVERYTHING (cook, clean, laundry, work full time, slave over Holiday prep); it looked exhausting and my dad seemed to have the better deal. I never thought I could stand to be a wife and mother.

        After a long haul with serial monogamy, I met a lovely man in my 30’s. Three kids, and seven years in and he does the lunches, makes muffins and playdough, helps on field trips, shops for their clothes, does groceries, knows the names of all the parents in the hood, cooks, a little cleaning too, and we both work full time. He’s an anomaly. I can be a wife and mother, and not a martyr…

        Still, my greatest fantasy is separate condos in the same housing complex.

  6. Severine says:

    I don’t believe her.

  7. S808 says:

    I’m a firm believer that marriage benefits men more than women so I’m all for women opting out.

    • ChillyWilly says:

      Word! It’s a bum deal for most women.

    • Granger says:

      My favourite line from The Witches of Eastwick: “Good for the man, lousy for the woman. She dies, she suffocates. I’ve seen it! And then the husband runs around complaining that he’s f*@#ing a dead person, and he’s the one who killed her!”

  8. Kate says:

    I was just thinking about this last night watching some dramaticized tv wedding and imagining how I’ll advise my kids about marriage. I want to tell them just don’t get married. Be long-term partners, have kids even, and if/when it stops working you go your separate ways. But I don’t want to sound bitter either. It just seems like marriage can make people so complacent and overly comfortable that they no longer have to try to keep their partner happy. And when you’re in your 20’s and so focused on finding “the one” and then you’re in your dopamine bubble you can’t imagine ever not caring as much about each other as you do then.

    • Mona says:

      Just tell your kids to get married on their 20iest anniversary. This way you don’t spook them, don’t sound too negative.
      If you made it this long, then getting married iOS really a nice thing to do.

  9. Mouki's wife says:

    About Tom Green, I know him! And I met them as a couple when he came home with her and her mom at Christmas. He is actually very lovely and surprisingly sexy in real life. He is not his persona. She was a mess, partying all the time and accidentally burning their house down. He loved her and was heartbroken, but also too normal for her.

    • Stef says:

      Cool insight, thanks!

      I struggle to him as sexy in person but I’ll take your word for it. Funny men are pretty great, I’m sure he made her laugh a lot.

    • ChillyWilly says:

      That’s cool to know about Tom. I have had a huge crush on him since his TV e in the 90’s so I personally got why Drew was with him.
      He was on Celebrity Big Brother a few years ago and seemed like such a lovely guy.

    • Julie Taylor says:

      He was on an episode of Canada’s Drag Race about a month ago and he was SO funny. I’ve been thinking about that episode ever since.

  10. FilmTurtle says:

    “I love that we are trying to hold on to an institution that [started] when the closest person to you for companionship was a three-day horse ride away and your life span was 30 years.”

    Have to say, that’s a good quote and I’ll be snatching it as necessary.

  11. Jaded says:

    I never married or had kids – part of me was sort of brain-washed by society to expect that this was what every woman wanted, but the few times I came close to it I got cold feet and it’s a good thing I did because if I had married we surely would have been divorced within a few years. I’m comfortable enough in my own skin to go for long periods of time without a relationship. I have good friends, an active social life, enjoy my alone time. I’m into year 4 of living with a man I was in love with 40 years ago but it didn’t work out. When his marriage failed abysmally he came looking for me and we are in a much better place now than we were so long ago. In my mind you can have a great relationship without the marriage stuff and agree with Drew that after 3 marriages you’d think…”man, I’m not cut out for this, maybe I should just coast for a while and the right thing will find me”.

  12. Erina says:

    I remember listening to a podcast with Ann Patchett. She and her husband dated for 10 years before moving in together and finally getting married (it was a second marriage for both). She said if they hadn’t lived seperatly for the first 10 years of their relationship, they wouldn’t have been able to make it through the next 10.

    I was married for 10 years. It did not end well. I’m in a healthy relationship now. We have no intention of living together or getting married in the near future. This is what works for us. You do not need to cohabitat with someone in order to have a committed and fulfilling relationship.

    • cdnkitty says:

      “I was married for 10 years. It did not end well. I’m in a healthy relationship now. We have no intention of living together or getting married in the near future. This is what works for us. You do not need to cohabitat with someone in order to have a committed and fulfilling relationship.”

      –> this is exactly me. I love my BF and I’m committed to him, to growing old with him, but I will probably never cohabit with him and I see no reason to get married ever again. I’m in my early 40’s so there’s a lot of time ahead of us hopefully.

  13. Amando says:

    Add me to the never married camp. No kids either. I am open to marriage, but it would have to be an incredible guy. I like living on my own and am proud of being independant. Good on Drew for realizing marriage is not for her.

  14. deader than new metal and disco says:

    I am firmly on the no marriage and no kids side. If it works for you, then I’m happy for ya. But I know it’s not my thing.

  15. Barbiem says:

    Am I the only one okay following in dear Elizabeth,s footsteps?
    Im okay with several marriages. on #2. If we divorce ill get married again.

  16. Cate says:

    I never wanted kids. So I dated, lived my life and traveled and had fun until I was 45. Then I met my person, the male version of me. We got married, have fur babies and are so content and happy and chill and have so much fun. It’s like living with my best friend with sexy time and pets.

  17. Mee says:

    Good to know online guys have stood up famous women too. I thought it was just me and my friends. When did men become absolutely terrified to meet a woman??

  18. Nic says:

    I’ve been married once and it did not work, he realized he’s gay. Anyway, I am thankful I am comfortable enough to be my own company and financially okay to support my own needs too. I am not sure I would like to get married again.

  19. suzanne bryce says:

    My entire life (All 54 years of it), my mother would nag me ‘when are you getting married?’ Eventually it became ‘I guess you are never getting married!’ and now it’s like ‘You’re so smart you never got married!’. Somehow I went from being a loser to a hero to her and none of it was planned–just ended up that way!

  20. Alyse says:

    I’m a big believer that marriage is great if you find the right person (like my parents.. nearly at 40 years!) but it should not be the only way to define love, happiness or success in life.