Blake Shelton went to Gwen Stefani’s dad & sons to ask ‘permission’ to marry her

blake gwen engaged

Blake Shelton recently proposed to Gwen Stefani, and they announced it last week in a nice social media post. Blake had a 6-carat custom diamond engagement ring made for Gwen, and he actually got down on one knee at his Oklahoma ranch, where he and Gwen spend much of their time. Reportedly, Blake also spoke to Gwen’s father before he proposed – Us Weekly said that Blake “asked permission from her dad before asking Gwen,” but I bet it was more like he asked for her father’s blessing, not permission? But it was just the kind of “traditional” touch that Gwen loves. As it turns out, Blake also sought the blessing/permission of Gwen’s three sons.

Before Blake Shelton got down on one knee at his Tishomingo, Oklahoma, ranch to propose to longtime love Gwen Stefani last month, he made sure to first get approval from three very important people: her sons Kingston, 14, Zuma, 12, and Apollo, 6.

“Blake told her boys that he wanted to propose and asked their permission,” a source close to Stefani tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue, on newsstands Friday. “Her family very much approves of him. He’s an amazing partner and a great extra dad to the boys. Gwen is ecstatic. The proposal was a surprise.”

[From People]

I’ve said this many times, but I’m genuinely moved by how much Blake loves his de facto step-sons. It felt like as soon as Blake and Gwen got together, one of the biggest appeals of the relationship for Blake was that he got to have a hand in helping her raise those boys. He adores them, and they seem to adore him too (which I’m sure upsets Gavin Rossdale). All of that to say, it makes perfect sense to me that Blake would have spoken to the kids about proposing to Gwen and asked them if they were okay with it. I bet they were enthusiastic about it. BUT I still hate the language of “seeking permission” between men/boys to marry a woman. Ugh.

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Photos courtesy of social media, Backgrid, Avalon Red.

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31 Responses to “Blake Shelton went to Gwen Stefani’s dad & sons to ask ‘permission’ to marry her”

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  1. lemonylips says:

    I really have a problem with the permission thing. I kind of can understand having a nice talk with kids you know, telling them how much a guy cares for their mother and all that. But permission…. and from dads… My partner and I told our parents that we would be getting married. And that was it. Women are not property.

    • Stellainnh says:

      Exactly. She’s a grown woman. No one owns her

    • ME says:

      100% agree. The whole “asking permission” is so archaic. Haven’t these two been living together for a while now? Did he think her sons would say “no you can’t marry her”? I hope those boys know a man doesn’t own a woman and therefore can NOT give anyone “permission” to marry her. It’s like what about Gwen’s mother then? What if Gwen had 3 daughters instead of 3 sons? Stupid, stupid, stupid.

    • Sojaschnitzel says:

      If I had a potential fiance and he would go and ask my dad for permission then that would be the end of it for me.

    • Mrs.Krabapple says:

      Yep, misogyny comes in all forms, sometimes masquerading as chivalry.

    • Kitten says:

      This “permission to marry” thing negates a woman’s agency and hearkens back to a time when a woman had no rights and was considered property of her father or a male authority. So does having a man walk you down the aisle to “give you away” (which was often done under duress) and I don’t consider any of this cute, romantic, sentimental or tradition anyone needs to uphold.

  2. Cherry says:

    ‘BUT I still hate the language of “seeking permission” between men/boys to marry a woman. Ugh.’ I feel you, Kaiser. I really don’t understand the ‘just the kind of “traditional” touch that Gwen loves’- sentiment either. Gwen is a woman in her forties, with a successful career, a divorce under her belt, and a bunch of teenage kids. Why someone like her finds joy in having her partner asking her parents and kids for ‘permission’ for what is essentially her own choice to make, is beyond me.

  3. betsyh says:

    I find the asking the father for permission thing to be dated and a little insulting to the woman you are marrying–shouldn’t the fiance and the woman’s family trust her ability to make her own good choices?

  4. LaraK says:

    I much prefer asking for “blessing”.

    Like I’ll ask anyway, but I’d like your blessing (or secular equivalent).

    • HK9 says:

      I think this is a much nicer, more modern way of acknowledging the family members in the process.

    • liz says:

      That’s what my husband did. He did go talk to my parents and made it clear that he was going to ask me. He wasn’t looking for their permission – I was 32 years old and we had been living together for almost a year. He really just wanted my mother’s opinion on the ring.

    • Meime says:

      This is what my husband did with my mother. He asked for her blessing. And it was “I’m going to ask her to marry me. I hope I have your blessing,” rather than “Do I have your blessing to ask to her to marry me?” Statement rather than question. Considering my mother is my best friend I very much appreciated the gesture, and so did my mother.

  5. manda says:

    My husband’s sister’s boyfriend plans to ask him for permission (their father has passed away; she was adopted late in life and is over twenty years younger than us), and he is soooooooo skeeved out by it. I like the distinction you made between permission and blessing, and I will pass that on to whoever (either my husband or the boyfriend). I think that my husband would be fine with basically saying, “sure we in the family like you and we are happy you are going to propose” versus “you are permitted to marry my sister”

  6. k says:

    I get the repulsion in the case of asking a father for permission, but I think it is an important gesture to have a conversation with the kids. It’s not asking for permission; it’s making sure it is ok with them that he marries their mom. He’s marrying them, too. I bet he would have had the same conversation if she had daughters.

  7. Lizzie says:

    I find this insulting and outdated. The conversation with her kids should have been with her not him.

    • Tanya says:

      Eh, blended families are really hard. Getting them involved in the decision is a smart move. They’re the ones who have no choice in the matter.

  8. Grant says:

    I think it’s sweet that he asked “permission” from the sons but I think it’s gross that he went to Gwen’s father. She’s over 40 years old, she doesn’t need anyone’s permissions to marry her long-time boyfriend. I think that’s icky. Just my opinion.

  9. Amelie says:

    I think it’s sweet to ask the boys but asking them for “permission” is such an outdated notion. If he did something along the lines of saying “Hey, I really love your mom and want to marry her. What do you think about that idea? Do you think I should ask her?” Kind of like it was a family decision for him to ask her.

    I think it’s fine for someone to inform the family ahead of time that they will be proposing. It’s a nice heads up. But seeking permission is a thing of the past. But there are women out there who love that kind of stuff and if that’s what they want, well good for them I guess.

  10. Ann says:

    I personally think Blake Shelton is a dick for bragging about running over turtles so I’m going to take this the worst way possible and surmise this is PR spin for his conservative Christian fans. F you Blake. F you for the turtles and F you for the patriarchal swill you sold to US.

    • Mrs.Krabapple says:

      And why on earth is he dressed in camouflage? Is he going to kill someone in the woods?

  11. McFly says:

    I have a younger sister and I never expected her husband to come to me asking for permission. It’s antiquated and sexist, plus I trust her judgement in picking a good man.

  12. Ariel says:

    When i was a teenager i had a discussion with my father about this tradition. This was in the late 1980s. He informed me that if anyone came to him to ask for me- he would tell them i made my own decisions. Period.
    He was a great dad.

    But i think speaking with a woman’s children before asking to marry her is both sweet and respectful. He isn’t just marrying her, he’s asking to become part of their family. I mean he seems to have been part of their family for awhile. But i think it is lovely to bring them into the process. It affects their lives as much as it affects their mom. And from the public perspective, he seems to be a great step dad. Which is always a great thing to see.

  13. Also Ali says:

    It’s completely sexist and completely on brand for him.

    I don’t know how she went from belting out Just a Girl to being an embodiment of everything that song is against. 🤷‍♀️

  14. Sarah says:

    Asking for permission flat out makes me angry (or would if I had any energy left today). Blessing I can get on board with, particularly the children. If you’re asking a parent for their blessing then why just the father? Does the mother not get a say.

    This outdated patriarchal control nonsense riles me even on a good day and today is not (yet) a good day.

  15. Winterforever says:

    Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. It’s so weird and gross.

  16. Ange says:

    I also hate how it gets dressed up as a ‘blessing’ these days. It’s still usually two men discussing and agreeing on the choices of a woman who isn’t even part of the conversation. It doesn’t matter what you call it, it’s still patriarchal and gross. No other family member has to go through this, just women. How anyone can try and say it’s not sexist anymore is beyond me.

  17. Ivy says:

    Blake is damaged goods. I do not trust him at all.
    The fact he was quick to comment on Miranda went she was caught dating a married dude, while he was in a relationship w Gwen,sent off warning signals.
    Plus he’s a cheater.

  18. matahari33 says:

    Gwen has said she is old-fashioned several times, she even wrote a song about it. To each their own.

  19. Emily says:

    I told my husband specifically not to ask my dad for permission. I did have my dad walk me down the aisle but we changed the wording of the usual “give her away” to something else and had all of our parents stand (my husband’s included).

    It’s sweet to ask children how they feel or to include them; permission is the wrong word. And it’s a bit icky that a grown woman’s dad would give “permission.”

  20. When you take a look at Stefani’s love for Blake in her own words, it becomes incredibly clear how much they love and care about one another.