It feels like it’s been a while since someone getting a divorce has been publicly messy about it. At this stage of the game, most celebrities call their publicists or crisis managers right after their divorce lawyer, which has led to the ever-so civilized “joint statement” announcing a divorce, a public promise to keep the kids out of it, and quiet negotiations out of court. But not for Alice Evans and Ioan Gruffudd. I think Gruffudd would probably love to issue a joint statement and keep the drama down to a minimum. But Alice does not. Alice wants to pour her messy heart out on Instagram. We learned this week that Ioan filed for divorce from Alice, a filing which came about six weeks after he apparently told her that he wanted a divorce anyway. Alice has been keeping us updated about how she’s feeling about all of this:
The Fantastic Four actor, 47, filed a divorce petition on Monday in Los Angeles, PEOPLE previously confirmed, and on Tuesday night, Evans shared a news article about the divorce on Instagram, implying that she found out about it online: “Oh. Ok. Thanks for letting me know. I guess?” she wrote.
Evans — who met Gruffudd on the set of their 2000 film 102 Dalmatians and married him in 2007 — followed up her initial reaction with a pair of lengthy Instagram captions on Wednesday reacting to the divorce, candidly expressing how she is dealing with the split.
“I can’t sleep. Not a wink. I am terrified for what tomorrow will bring. Oh don’t worry, I’m fully aware of how pathetic that sounds,” she began. “I’ll make it worse. Do you what I’m mostly scared of? It’s who the girl is. I know! Why? Why would it even matter?”
The actress, 49, who shares daughters Ella Betsi Janet, 11, and Elsie Marigold, 7, with Gruffudd, then said she worries her “little girls will be disappointed by their Dad’s behavior and model that in their future relations with the opposite sex.”
Evans wrote that she’s “scared” of how Gruffudd will respond to her speaking out about “his sudden decision to serve me.”
“I couldn’t believe how many people told me to accept it ‘with dignity’. What is dignity? I think ‘dignity’ is a way of covering up our own hurt,” Evans said. “I think dignity is a way of others telling us to shut up, because THEY don’t want to think about our hurt.”
Evans went on to share that she decided to be upfront with her kids and tell them about the divorce filing. “… I imagine some mothers who DONT believe in telling their kids the truth about everything will object,” she added, then claiming of Gruffudd, “That’s fine. My ex-husband believes in lying rather than harsh truths.”
In a subsequent post, Evans called the filing “very sad and out [of] the blue,” adding that she is “heartbroken.”
“I’m sorry but f— your discomfort about my lack of dignity. F— your cheap quips about how ‘she didn’t know! Ha ha ha what a load of bollocks.’ I come here to share an experience that has all but broken me (but won’t) ….” she wrote. “LET WOMEN TALk! !!WE ALL HAVE RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH, not just he men.” Evans ended the message: “Love all round, not hate.”
I’ll be generous for a moment – I think divorce is tough for many people, and many people are undignified about divorce and heartbreak privately and publicly, at home with friends, on social media, out in a bar getting hammered. I think Alice has every right to feel whatever way she wants to feel. She’s a grown woman and if she wants to wallow, so be it. All that being said, I do think it’s a terrible idea for grown people to use social media as some kind of confessional hub to “perform” their sad, messy lives. I also think Alice is being kind of gross to use her daughters as pawns in her little performance too.
Photos courtesy of Instagram, Avalon Red.