The Cambridges are hiring a new personal assistant, possibly for all the pie charts

Royal visit to London vaccination centre

There are so many terrible aspects to the “bullying staffers” story regarding the Duchess of Sussex. All of the stories about Meghan allegedly “bullying” subordinates came from the limited time period where she was forced to work with Kensington Palace staff, before Meghan and Harry briefly had their own office in Buckingham Palace. There are never any specifics about what Meghan actually DID to “bully” people. There are just vague accounts of early-morning emails or reports of Meghan looking at a white staffer or “a white woman crying because of Meghan.” It’s been clear for a while that there were people within KP who were actively trying to sabotage Meghan and Harry, and as we could see from the campaign of character assassination leading up to the Oprah interview, Jason Knauf, Angela Kelly and several others were definitely playing a longer scheme to discredit and smear Meghan. As Kurt Cobain said, “Just because you’re paranoid/Don’t mean they’re not after you.”

Well, guess which palace is hiring now? I guess they’ve got money for extra staff now that they successfully bullied Harry and Meghan out of the country. Kensington Palace is hiring a new personal assistant.

This could be one for Melissa Touabti, who shocked the Palace when she suddenly quit as the Duchess of Sussex’s personal assistant just six months after Meghan Markle married into the Royal Family. The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are seeking their own new PA — and staff tend to last longer working for William and Kate. Given the furore that Melissa’s departure caused, after it was disclosed by this newspaper’s Eden Confidential column in 2018, Prince William and Kate are emphasising the ‘exceptional’ qualities they require.

The advertisement on the royal website stresses that the ability to ‘maintain confidentiality and exercise discretion at all times is essential’. It states: ‘We require an experienced PA to provide comprehensive administrative support to a busy team. The role will be responsible for managing diaries, arranging meetings, organising and assisting with visits, events and travel. Duties will also include: handling telephone calls and regularly drafting letters and emails.’

Explaining that candidates must have ‘impeccable IT skills and a proactive approach’, the ad continues: ‘Excellent organisation and communication skills are essential, as is attention to detail and a willingness to undertake a wide variety of tasks.’

After Melissa left her post working for Meghan, a Kensington Palace source paid tribute to her, saying: ‘Melissa is a hugely talented person. She played a pivotal role in the success of the Royal Wedding and will be missed by everyone in the Royal Household.’

She was not the first member of staff to leave the Sussexes’ employ. Before her, there was another PA, a young woman already employed by the Palace. She did not stay long after Meghan arrived. Both PAs signed non-disclosure agreements. There is no suggestion that Meghan tried to prevent them from speaking. Lawyers for Harry and Meghan stated that she had no knowledge of the agreements and that they believed staff to be comfortable and happy.

[From The Daily Mail]

I have several questions. One, why are the Keens in the market for a new personal assistant? Did they lose staff as well? Why are there no reports of KP staffers leaving because of Other Brother’s hissy fits and tantrums? Why is there no reporting around how often Kate loses staff? And the Keens aren’t going to hire Melissa Touabti again because she was hired specifically to sabotage the Sussexes, or at least that’s how it looks now.

Last thing: new hires will be quizzed about their ability to make nonsensical pie charts!!

kate five3

kate five1 (2)

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid, KP.

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42 Responses to “The Cambridges are hiring a new personal assistant, possibly for all the pie charts”

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  1. Seraphina says:

    They make pie charts and Kate makes Chutney.

  2. Marmalazed says:

    That’s actually a Joseph Heller quote from Catch-22, not Kurt Cobain. :)

  3. Cecilia says:

    Everybody is always talking about how horrible meg&haz are as bosses and then point to their staff over turn but am i the only thinking that the Cambs are changing A LOT of their staff over an ever shorter time period?

    • Yoyo says:

      Someone did a side by side comparison of the lamebridges and Sussexes staff turn over in the same period of time, and the lamebridges had more staff that left.
      The BM is not going to post that because it would not work with what a horrible boss Meghan is.

      • Killfanora says:

        From April 2019 to March 2020 the Camebridges lost 18 members of staff compared to 11 in the same timeframe who left the Sussexes.
        The comparison was done by a reporter (for the Guardian I think, but can’t quit remember) and it was repeated on Twitter. That’s where I saw it, with dates and names of the various members of staff who left.

      • Wiglet Watcher says:

        Early in their marriage and early into Anmer there were stories about this. High staff turnover. Unreasonable workloads. Even a gardener that was married to household staff that worked for the Queen, but were transferred to the Cambridge’s. The couple within weeks requested out of that assignment. It was also a time where Carole was said to be managing the staff because Kate couldn’t/wouldn’t.

        The Cambridges want a skeleton staff of miracle workers that work for beans.

  4. Over it says:

    I have a question, what the F does the lamebridge hiring a dog to do all kinds of shit for them have to do with Megs and Harry? Can these people write anything about anyone in that family without mentioning Harry and his wife? Next. Oh reallyyyyy lamebridges staff stay long do they.? What happened to the assistant Kate fired after she came back from holiday. We see you Jason writing your deranged mellisa a glowing recommendation. You should after all you put her there to do the dirty on Megs. I have a sicking feeling she was hired to seduce Harry , and Harry and Megs found out the plan and axed her ass. All done under Willy Katie and Jason guidance of course.

    • Yoyo says:

      They can’t, because no one click on the story if Meghan name is not in it.

    • Ginger says:

      There is a part of me that thinks this as well. I wonder if Melissa tried to seduce Harry and was promptly fired. It was gross misconduct that got her fired and that was my first thought.

  5. JT says:

    They need a new PA for what? There is no work being done. And discretion is a requirement? Since when?

    • Cecilia says:

      Since williams willy decided to start wandering. And i wouldn’t be surprised if kate has a lover too.

      • Wiglet Watcher says:

        Once the kids are done isn’t an affair allowed as long as a birth control regimen is set?

      • My Two Cents says:

        btw, whatever happened to trying for kid number four? that rumour dropped like a hot potato as soon as Meghan and Harry announced her second pregnancy.

    • Becks1 says:

      And didnt they have a PA before? What happened to that one?

      • Cecilia says:

        Didn’t she get fired after coming back from her honeymoon?

      • Becks1 says:

        I cant remember, I know that Natasha Archer….quit, I think? Or left after maternity leave? And she was Kate’s PA/stylist for a while. I dont know if she ever came back so that’s who they’re replacing or not.

      • Mac says:

        I am assuming this is a part time job.

      • Nic919 says:

        The narrative around the assistant coming back from maternity leave was always very shady.

    • Amy Too says:

      Maybe this one is going to work at Sandringham with William. Or maybe William took the PA when he left and they need a new one for Kate.

      If it’s an additional one, that doesn’t make sense if they live and work together and arent doing drastically more work to need another PA. If it’s a replacement one, then why all the weird stuff about they never have staff turnover and the Sussexes ALWAYS had to hire new people? Actually, that’s probably exactly why all the crap about the Sussexes not holding onto people is in there: to draw attention away from the Cambridges having some turnover.

  6. Over it says:

    You know what’s the funniest thing about that book Kate is pretending to write in? All the other stuff on that page is typed. So why the heck is she using a pen to write in it? And it looks like a print out from the comments section of celebitchy. Lolololol

    • Wiglet Watcher says:

      I would make personal notes in binders all the time. I’m no Kate fan, but this seems fine.

      • Nic919 says:

        Presumably if she was involved in preparing the charts she wouldn’t need to take notes?

        I only tend to take notes of power point presentations when I am attending it, because the information would be new to me. I mean it probably is for Kate too, but for someone who worked on this allegedly for five years, she should be familiar with this already.

    • @Overit. She writes to pretend she takes down notes and understands what the chart means. But when you look closer she writes doodles there.

      • Over it says:

        I think she is writing her wiglets and coats of buttons shopping list for the month.

      • Lyds says:

        Just zoomed in for the first time on that 24% “start of pregnancy to 5 yrs”…what in the fragment hell is THAT supposed to mean? CB wasn’t exaggerating when they described it as a nonsensical pie-chart…”nonsensical” being rather euphemistic, actually.

  7. Amy Bee says:

    The Cambridges have a high turnover of staff. It’s just not talked about in the press. In the last 5 years Kate has had 3 Private Secretaries and William 4. The problem for Meghan and Harry was that the staff they had initially were lazy and loyal to the Cambridges and I agree with Kaiser that Melissa was hired to sabotage the wedding and Meghan and Harry. Court documents state that she was fired for gross misconduct. She didn’t quit.

    • Mac says:

      I assumed she was fired because she was the source for all gossip about Harry and Meghan’s wedding, including making Kate cry.

  8. Merricat says:

    That pie chart is hilarious.

    • Robin says:

      It makes me laugh, too. Why the hell is she adding notes to her own notes that she made for her own presentation?

    • Dierski says:

      That pie chart so bad that I was momentarily wondering if it was photoshopped… jfc, so keen.

  9. Izzy says:

    Keep printing those lies, Daily Fail. It was already in court documents that Toubati was fired for cause. Just keep making it easier for the Sussexes to go after you again. And again. And again. Until you are hopefully bankrupt.

  10. BayTampaBay says:

    “As Kurt Cobain said, “Just because you’re paranoid/Don’t mean they’re not after you.”

    I thought Fox Mulder made that statement in an early episode of the X-Files.

    • booboocita says:

      Joseph Heller is the originator (Catch-22, 1961). All subsequent mentions are quotes/tributes.

  11. AVEA says:

    Did they hire a new PA cause Kate is exhausted from dressing herself for her numerous zooms?

  12. Maevo says:

    I wonder when they started doing NDAs. Probably after everyone who cashed in with tell alls after Diana died. Just seems like NDAs aren’t really about protecting privacy but end up being about muzzling people in situations when they could reveal abuse or other problematic behavior.

  13. candy says:

    I’m guessing these are high-stress/low paying jobs with a lot of “prestige.” That’s probably why there’s a high turnover. Most of these people are well connected anyway, and can somehow afford to live in London on a tiny income.

  14. CrystalBall says:

    Clearly, Kate’s last PA quit. The new PA must have the ability to explain pie charts to empty-headed duchesses. Kate looks very bewildered as she attempts to make sense of all that information. If only it were as simple as sabotaging her sister-in-law – that’s all the Duchess of Lambridge knows how to do.
    Catherine Quinn, her former PA, quit; the next one must be overworked or has quit too. The racist media is very silent.

  15. JanetDR says:

    The headline for this one gave me a chuckle! Yes indeed, how can Kate possibly handle such difficult pie charts all by herself?!

  16. Isabella Saxon says:

    H&M aren’t even there anymore. The compaisons are bizarre.

  17. Isabella Saxon says:

    H&Mn’t even there anymore. The compaisons are bizar

  18. Isabella Saxon says:

    H&Mn’t even there anymore. The compaisons are bizar