I don’t think it’s shady or homophobic to have mixed feelings about Colton Underwood’s big coming out party this week. I understand that we’re all supposed to say “good for him” and “this will help normalize some LGBT folks’ longer journeys to self-acceptance,” and just leave it at that. But people do feel like there’s some cynicism to his announcement now, at this point. What bothers me more than anything is how Colton’s really f–king awful behavior towards women is being completely whitewashed now. He stalked, harassed and terrorized his ex-girlfriend Cassie Randolph just last year. She had a restraining order against him just LAST FALL. As it turns out, Colton did address the situation with Cassie:
A very real love. Colton Underwood spoke about his past with ex-girlfriend Cassie Randolph during his Wednesday, April 14, interview on Good Morning America. The former Bachelor, who came out as gay during the conversation with Robin Roberts, explained that he was very much in love with Randolph, 25, during their relationship, and wanted to send her a message.
“I got into a place with my personal life that was dark, and bad, and I can list a bunch of different things, but they’d all be excuses,” the 29-year-old said. “I’d like to say sorry for how things ended. I messed up. I made a lot of bad choices.”
He added that he was in love with Randolph, which made things more confusing. “I loved everything about her and it’s hard for me to articulate exactly what my emotions were in going through that relationship with her was because I obviously had an internal fight going on… I would just say that I’m sorry from the bottom of my heart. I’m sorry for any pain and emotional stress I caused. I wish that it wouldn’t have happened the way that it did. I wish that I had been courageous enough to fix myself before I broke anybody else.”
It’s an okay apology. But I’m still mad on her behalf. Dude was truly harassing her parents. He installed a tracking device on her car! He should have faced more serious consequences for his campaign of stalking against Cassie. It should have been more than just a restraining order. Especially since Colton has found a way to profit from his coming out:
Colton Underwood, former star of “The Bachelor,” is getting his own reality show at Netflix, Variety has learned. The project, which is currently in production, is an unscripted series with multiple episodes, numerous sources tell Variety, describing the project as focusing on Underwood living his life publicly as a gay man. Netflix declined to comment on the project.
News of Underwood’s Netflix deal comes after the television personality, author and former pro football player came out on national television, during a deeply personal interview that aired Wednesday morning on ABC’s “Good Morning America.”
While the full scope of the series is under wraps, an insider tells Variety that Olympian Gus Kenworthy will appear in the series, acting as a guide, of sorts, for Underwood. No word yet on when the series will launch, though a source close to production says Underwood is currently filming.
Yeah. Cynical. And given the very recent criminal harassment of Cassie, this is just a sh-tty move for Netflix and for men in general.
Colton Underwood stalked Cassie Randolph for months, put a tracking device on her car, stood outside her apt at 2 am, and sent harassing text messages to her, her family, & her friends (according to her restraining order filing). That’s not being in love and making bad choices.
— Kat Tenbarge (@kattenbarge) April 14, 2021
hurting women is just a little oopsie ! here’s your netflix redemption arc! https://t.co/EfpKQotQRT
— SheRatesDogs (@SheRatesDogs) April 14, 2021
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.
Yeah, “sorry” doesn’t really cover it.
there isn’t much more than ‘sorry’ and growth that anyone can offer after the fact. That said, I have less than no interest in this project, but I am probs not the target audience…
I spend a lot of time thinking about the villains in our lives and how they can end up being fine people in other ways. It doesn’t excuse/negate/erase what they are in our lives, but people can grow and learn, especially after hitting a truly rock bottom. We, as the target of their crap, never have to forgive them or engage in any way with them, but they don’t need to stop existing either. The proof, as they say, will be in the pudding and how he lives and learns.
He doesn’t need his own reality show starring himself and his fun new life 5 minutes after he was terrorizing a woman with criminal stalking and psychotic behavior. There’s a pretty wide spectrum between that and “needing to stop existing.”
agreed @lola. I don’t think I implied that he did?
I did not say anything about this man needing not to exist. I said “sorry “ isn’t enough for what he did to another human and her family. I stand by that.
Yeah, “sorry” isn’t really enough for a lot of things, but it’s all there is to offer.
I still won’t watch his show.
I think there’s plenty he could do beyond mouthing an apology. I’m sort of stunned that anyone would think saying the words is “all” that can be done. Good grief.
I can’t believe Netflix is giving him a show! It turns my stomach. I think this is the final push I needed to cancel my Netflix subscription.
Update: Just canceled it!
I can’t believe it either. Monetizing his struggle seems really effed up. Good idea about cancelling.
As always, I am thrilled when any person decides to come out and live their life. But this guy seems to have some other issues happening. Get your self right, dude.
As I said about this yesterday it was all for clout. Yes Colton probably suffered and had trauma about his upbringing and being closeted but Cassie is still the wronged party. She got vilified while the show was on and was then stalked and harassed by this guy she was told loved her.
Colton came out and that’s great for him. That does not entitle him to more time in the sun. No one said he has to be miserable forever but sometimes the cost for doing bad things is going away and staying away.
No, I don’t feel the slightest bit bad for him. If you have problems coming out, I totally understand. Involving other people in this, leading them on and terroroizing them because you can’t face your own problems is an absolute no-go.
“Gay Guide”…really…
How about someone of any orientation to teach him not to be a dick?
This. It could be about him choosing to become a better, more ethical human being who doesn’t treat people like prey.
“Gay Guide” turns my stomach too. You don’t need a gay guide to be gay. Just be yourself, FFS.
It reminds me of when Kaitlin Jenner had a show and needed other trans women to be her guides. Their role was basically to educate the audience because Kaitlin herself was so vapid.
Hard pass. His issues with coming out doesn’t negate the fact that he stalked, terrorized and harassed a woman. This dude needs serious help and to be away from the spotlight. I don’t think a Netflix show is gonna help with any of that.
It’s very creepy that his first instinct on this supposed life changing emotional journey is to tee up yet another reality show.
YES!!!!!!
Seriously. Ick.
Come on this guy has some emotional and psychological problems that go way beyond his sexuality. Narcissist?! Sociopath?! Both?! I’m no Freud and I can see that. This whole “coming out party” and “watch my new show party” rub me the wrong way. It’s very manipulative and cynical.
Him coming out shouldn’t negate his criminal harassment behavior – that’s insane. Society will do the most to save a white man’s rep, wow.
“I wish that it hadn’t happened the way it did”. Nope. And I feel like this show, with its gay guide, is already pushing stereotypes and bad tropes for the GLBTQ community. Ignore the woman he abused and use up some gay cred. So gross and shameful he thinks this is a good idea. Netflix, not surprised. For every good idea, they throw stacks of money at white vanity projects.
This. Zero accountability. That’s a distancing statement that suggests his criminal behavior is some natural disaster instead of a choice he repeatedly made.
Still an a-hole! Ugh
Another dumb move by Netflix. Glorifying a white male failing up.
I commented about this yesterday and feel the same today! This whole situation really rubs me the wrong way.
I really am torn about giving Colton this platform, without also addressing these other serious & destructive behaviors as well. It doesn’t seem right IMO. To simply say “I am sorry” doesn’t cut it. And to just “come out as gay” seems to just gloss over all his troublesome behavior in the past. I feel very bad for his ex, and honestly the LBGTQ community. Of course, I am glad he has been able to come to terms with his sexuality…but I am very disturbed about ABC and GMA (and Netflix) giving him this platform.
Honestly, I think he is using this announcement to redeem himself as well, and that is just not fair. It reminds of when Kevin Spacey used the time to announce he was gay – after he was accused of sexually molesting/assaulting/raping underaged boys! This is not your “get out of jail free” card! Furthermore, I think it does a HUGE disservice to the LBGTQ community as well! There are enough horrible stereotypes that perpetuate, this certainly doesn’t help with Colton not really addressing the “elephant in the room” (aka his psychologically disturbing stalking behavior). That behavior is NOT NORMAL!!!! #sorrynotsorry
Again, I don’t want to take away from the courage and strength it takes for one to come to terms with their homosexuality. I have several friends in the gay/lesbian community, and they all shared their struggles and stories about how difficult that was for them. I really do empathize. I just don’t know if this is the right platform, given what happened with Colton. Perhaps he could have just done this quietly with his friends/family, and continued on with personal therapy?
As a member of the LGBTQ community please don’t feel sorry for us over this, like any group we have racists, misogynists , abusers etc , in other words we are just like straight people and are not defined by a single individual being a douche.
@Jeff Monk Very good point. I guess the whole situation over Colton getting this platform, after his psychologically damaging behavior, just really irritates me !
Based on his criminal stalking behavior terrorizing a woman to the extent she feared for her life, in combination with all his other behavior, he seems like a sociopath along the same lines as Armie Hammer and Shia LaBeouf.
In the book, the Sociopath Next Door, the author assserts that the #1 way to identify a sociopath is NOT them being a monster lurking in a dark alley. The #1 way to identify a sociopath is the PITY PLAY. Sociopaths will often try to get others around to feel pity for them.
Poor Colton, it’s not really his fault that he stalked and terrorized a woman and made her believe that he would murder her. It’s all because he hated himself so much for his sexuality and is the victim here. It’s just because of his “internal fight” against homophobia. He really had hurt himself more and suffered more than anyone else (like Shia LaBeouf said about his abuse of Twigs). He wishes all that stalking and murder threats “hadn’t happened.” Not that HE DID THAT but just that it “hadn’t happened” by some unknown force. Pity poor Colton, yeah he’s a violent misogynistic stalker and criminal but he’s the REAL victim here!
It’s also similar to, as someone said above Kevin Spacey being very credibly accused of raping and molesting underaged boys, and he tried to spin it into a big coming out party / pity party for himself where he was the actual victim who should be applauded for his bravery.
@Lola – Yes exactly!! He is playing into this victim narrative. Oh, I was so depressed and couldn’t bear to face myself. So?? The end result is stalking, manipulating, gaslighting and harassing your ex? Yeah, sorry doesn’t cut it for me. That is psychologically disturbing behavior, whether you are gay or straight doesn’t matter. And he needs to address THAT!! Not have everyone throw him some huge celebration for “coming out”!! Like I said above ^^ he could have just come out quietly to friends and family, done some serious psychotherapy AND not have ABC, GMA and Netflix give him this huge platform. That is the part that really pisses me off.
Oh yea, every PR spin in Hollywood uses the victim narrative. It’s the only way to not take responsibility but make it look like you are.
@Jules Yes, get caught cheating? You have a sex addiction. You are just a victim of your sex addiction. Look what happened with Sandra Bullock and her cheating husband Jesse James. I seem to remember he tried to chalk it up to some kind of trauma in his past, he never thought he deserved her – like trying to make him the “victim” here. That kind of crap drives me nuts. Take responsibility for your horrible actions and stop blaming it on other things or other people! I am not saying that people don’t have trauma or dysfunction in their lives; most do. But that is not an excuse to behave badly. And if you do, own it! To borrow from AA terminology – keep your side of the street clean. Meaning, being clear and self-responsible in your life!
@AmyB: So true. They’re encouraged to play the sex addiction card in all kinds of different ways- both for infidelity and abuse (“female flesh makes males do bad things!”). There were even sympathizers for Harvey Weinstein and others who were exposed going on about how bad they feel for them and making false equivalents about how the women are ‘so loose’.
@Lola In Colton’s case, he was also the monster lurking in a dark alley outside of her home and her parents home!
He added that he was in love with Randolph, which made things more confusing. “I loved everything about her and it’s hard for me to articulate…
Nope. Still not taking accountability for what HE did to Cassie. By saying I was in a dark place and was in love with Cassie he’s making an EXCUSE.
Amazing how the most below mediocre of white men can fall upwards even after abusing another person and breaking the law.
The bar is truly in hell.
It’s a double-duty excuse as well. He’s not only excusing his horrific abuse of her. He’s also excusing being a VERY grown man who was WELL aware of his sexuality, and deceiving an innocent person into a relationship under false pretenses and using them for his own purposes while they give very personal parts of themselves to him. “Relationships” like that are often EXTREMELY traumatic for the deceived spouses, who often spend years feeling repulsive and unlovable and not knowing why. And the betrayal is even more traumatic when the spouse has deceived them consciously and been happily cheating and hooking up with their preferred gender all along.
Agreed. He admits he always knew he was gay and running from himself. He wanted to be famous and now he is and he will do anything to remain in the public eye.
Using coming out as a smoke screen for being an abuser, didn’t work for Kevin Spacey. Reality show redemption didn’t work for Josh Duggar. What’s next? This guy will try anything to avoid the real work he needs to do to heal. It would be sad if he hadn’t damaged so many others. Instead, it’s criminal. Did Netflix really sign a deal? I haven’t seen any official statements directly from them.
All the gay men I know that dated women whilst they struggled with their sexuality DIDN’T stalk and abuse those women. This guy is just a psychopath. How dare he try to justify his disgusting actions against Cassie in this way?
Yeah, you don’t get to use your sexuality as a shield. It’s great he’s come out and living life on his terms. But that doesn’t excuse the stalking, the harassment, and the general fear he caused his ex-girlfriend and his apology didn’t cut it for me. He terrorized her and while I’m sure his sexuality made things confusing for him, it doesn’t excuse that kind of behavior. And what was Netflix thinking, giving him a reality show deal to live his life as a gay man? NO. I’m really hoping that deal gets squashed. This man doesn’t deserve a platform. Have we heard from Cassie yet? Ugh.
I read somewhere that Cassie had no idea that he was making this announcement on GMA. Seems on par with Colton’s character, from what I see.
Smh
Wow, I can’t believe Netflix/celebrities are ignoring the fact that he’s an abuser just because he came out? This is the weirdest thing. It would be the same as if Shia LeBouf or Johnny Depp got a free pass for terrorizing their partners because they suddenly came out as gay. Hard no. Finding yourself and coming out is great and I want that level of comfort for everyone, but that doesn’t negate the very real harm this guy caused.
I’m a proud lesbain and I hate that Netflix is holding this guy up as some beacon of light for the gay community. We’ve already had to deal with years of being represented as mentally ill, psychotic and obsessive in books and media and just in general for years and now the guy they’re choosing to make and promote a show about is literally a deranged stalker. There are so many more stories that could have been told with so many more deserving subjects than a gross, woman terrorizing rich white man.
WORD UP.
Shame on Netflix.
Going to email Netflix and give them a piece of my mind now
Ok, so let me get this straight. It’s totally fine to harass and terrorize a woman as long as you’re gay. Am I reading this right? Coming out as gay immediately gets you a pass for recent past criminal behavior against women? And is deserving of a Netflix show? Awesome. Yet another example of how little women’s safety and wellbeing is valued in this society.
Absolutely. And as a bisexual woman, it’s a relief to see people doing such a good job of not being homophobic while still holding him accountable for his behavior. If that healthy, appropriate balance can be there with marginalized men- even when actual abuse is involved- it can be done with anybody.
Gotta be honest. I hope he’s still within the statute of limitations on the shit he pulled and she pressses charges.
He also made tons of $$$$ on a book about his “straight” life that was all a lie. And he treated Ali Raisman like shit. She couldn’t open up as she was a victim of Larry Nassar and he was unsupportive and selfish fuck. UUHHUHGGHHHHHH.
He sounds like a very messed up individual. The stalking and harassing part is definitely disturbing. I understand it must be so hard to live in the closet but that doesn’t excuse how he treated Cassie. I wonder if she found proof he was gay and that’s what caused the stalking and harassing because he didn’t want her to leak it. Just a guess! Hope he gets help he needs and doesn’t treat his next boyfriend like he treated her.