Gwyneth Paltrow: People don’t get that I have an ‘irreverent sense of humor’

Gwyneth Paltrow at the Grand opening of the JVP International Cyber Center

Gwyneth Paltrow is a narcissist and an elitist. What I’ve learned through watching Gwyneth’s Goop empire grow is that Gwyneth is also just a regular old stunt-queening famewhore too. If anything, she’s sort of worse than the Kardashian-esque Instagram influencers – sure, those people shill “waist trainers,” laxatives and diet teas. But Gwyneth has built a whole-ass empire on fake science, “wellness,” and headline-grabbing stunt-queening. All of that is made worse by two facts: Gwyneth is smart enough to know better AND Gwyneth lives inside her own ass and is humorless about her own bullsh-t. Behold, a new Gwyneth interview where she describes HERSELF as someone with an “irreverent sense of humor.” Girl… stop.

She’s not a dumb stunt-queen, she’s just very beautiful & irreverent: ‘Well, the people who know me well know that my irreverent sense of humour is very much at the core of who I am. Sometimes, I think people are surprised by that, because I look a certain way, or whatever assumptions they make about me. Humour has always been a part of the Goop brand and marketing. We’ve always had pithy, funny subject lines. We’ve always wanted to name our products things that were funny and appealing and also said really clearly what they did.’

Whether the vagina-candle & other things were stunts: ‘We were not trying to create some kind of a publicity stunt whatsoever, but we did see that it drove a lot of interest and traffic to the site. Not that we do stunts all the time, but we do know the power of a good joke or a racy product name.’

She wants to get into the CBD space: ‘I would love to get into the CBD space, I think that there are some really interesting studies around CBD and the efficiency of it, especially there’s a little bit of THC (the main psychoactive compound in cannabis that produces the ‘high’ sensation.) but I think we’re a way away from that. The regulation is really difficult.’

[From The Daily Mail]

It’s funny that she’s a bit reticent about getting into the CBD market because of all of the regulations. That’s why she sticks with the fake science, the stickers which heal cancer, the jade eggs for your bajingo and the non-stop “cleanses.” It’s because those markets are not as closely regulated. As for Gwyneth’s stunts and her “irreverent sense of humor” – it reminds me of when Rooney Mara went around saying that she’s “aloof.” Is Gwyneth “irreverent” or is she just the woman who was cool in high school but is now the 40-something who makes fun of overweight people and still says sh-t like “you hate me because I’m so pretty!”

Gwyneth Paltrow Hosts Opening of JVP International Cyber Center in New York

Photos courtesy of Backgrid, WENN.

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38 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow: People don’t get that I have an ‘irreverent sense of humor’”

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  1. nicegirl says:

    I guess I just don’t get Gwynnie! She’s so over my head. Like, out of my league, even.

    Gotta get me a cleansing egg.

    • SKF says:

      Look Gwyneth is an arse; but I have seen a lot of waiter/server/etc accounts on Deux Moi and in other places talking about different celebrities and what they’re like and there have been quite a lot saying Gwyneth is super nice, very down-to-earth and approachable, and outrageously funny. In fact, every account I’ve ever read about her in restaurants, shops, spas, on set, says the same with a lot of consistency. So I think that yes, she is nauseatingly privileged and a snake oil saleswoman who lives up her own arse; but she’s also a pretty cool chick with a great sense of humour. People are complex.

  2. Nanea says:

    Isn’t it good to hear that Gwynnie was only trying to prank people with her esoteric quackery? Because fun and GSOH?

    I mean, using that NASA fabric for those healing patches, or whatever those were, was one of the biggest indicators that GOOP is only in it for the irreverent jokes, not to con people out of their hard-earned cash!

  3. L84Tea says:

    “‘Well, the people who know me well know that my irreverent sense of humour is very much at the core of who I am. Sometimes, I think people are surprised by that, because I look a certain way, or whatever assumptions they make about me.”

    What can I say? People can’t believe I’m so funny because I’m just SO beautiful and hot.

    Give the world a break, Gwynnie.

  4. Lily says:

    No girl. You can’t pretend your ignorant anti-science ‘sunscreen is bad, only use it as highlighter’ was a joke.

  5. Mrs. Peel says:

    I think she is actually quite funny, but the Goop stuff I can live without.

    • Elaine Stritch says:

      I agree. She actually has shown a pretty irreverent sense of humour through the years but Goop is junk.

      • ItReallyIsYouNotMe says:

        Agree that she seems to be pretty funny. I laughed when she told Kelly Clarkson that WAP was her favorite song. She can be funny and still be elitist, narcissistic, and vulnerable to pseudoscience.

      • ItReallyIsYouNotMe says:

        Agree that she seems to be pretty funny. I laughed when she told Kelly Clarkson that WAP was her favorite song. She can be funny and still be elitist, narcissistic, and vulnerable to pseudoscience.

  6. Tulipworthy says:

    If you have to tell people you are something, it means you’re not. She is not irreverent, nor is she pretty. She is an average woman who tries way to hard .

    • Lemon says:

      Oh, I think she’s really beautiful, especially her eyes. And I think that she’s aged very well. I like that she hasn’t stuffed her face with fillers and has wrinkles and character.

      I thought they styled her a lot better during her Miramax years, especially the makeup and hair. I wish she would ditch the flat ironed, middle part, platinum blonde that she has been wearing for years.

      I once read an article about her giving a lecture about GOOP. She most definitely is a stunt queen! She was talking about monetizing the eyeballs of people hate clicking about her!

      • lucy2 says:

        She just started representing some filler company a few weeks ago. Not botox but something similar I think?
        I did love her shorter hair back in the Miramax days, but the LOL when I think of Brad Pitt and his matching ‘do.

  7. Annaloo. says:

    Gwyneth really is a study in tryhardness. I can’t blame her hustle, but she is not the hero or helper of women she claims to be.. at least not all women. I thought she’d amount to more than a pseudo lifestyle arbiter, selling overpriced snake oil confidence in jars to insecure women w too much money. She’s an opportunist who misses her opportunity to”ask all the questions”, all the time.

    Her interview with Gabrielle Union was a great example of her missing opportunities: she could have asked better questions regarding the realness Gabby was bringing through sharing her traumatic rape at 19. Gwyneth could not deeper dive into this real issue of sex violence, yet positions herself as some sort of expert on sexual freedom for women. G posted the BLM square on IG, but dropped the real ball when she failed to even mention the word racism when Gabby talked about her experience at AGT. In fact, it sounds like Gabby codeswitched the whole interview in order to not ruffle feathers of goop’s precious following. G only wanted to talk about Gabrielle’s tools for dealing w rage, when rape and race were WTF formed her tools. Goop is not for women, it does not ask all the questions… and Gwyneth is not funny, not bc she looks the way she does.. it’s because she’s actually NOT funny

    Goop is a salesperson, in her corner bubble. she can stay there, she does not deserve the centering she feels so entitled to.

  8. Jan says:

    When your child is saying I’m ‘Pretty’ most parent tell their children not to say that, let someone else say it, guess Gwynie parents skip that lesson.

    • Elaine Stritch says:

      So girls only learn to accept self-esteem and self-worth from outside sources, typically male and learn that they should only view themselves from that lens? Nah, let girls say they’re pretty. And remind them that they’re also smart and funny and kind.

      • Jules says:

        nope, this is what happens when we swing too far to the other side. look up narcissism, and refocus on learning about compassion, empathy and caring about other human beings.

      • observing says:

        I think it’s okay to think for someone to think they’re pretty to themselves. I don’t think it’s necessary to tell other people they think they’re pretty. That’s swinging a bit to the weird side. Plus, lots of other people are pretty too. Whenever someone mentions their own beauty, I’m kind of thinking to myself “Yeah, but so is that other person over there too.”

  9. Grant says:

    I’m not so sure that she’s smart enough to know better. After watching her Vogue video where she applied her facial tonics completely out of order (note, go thinnest consistency to thickest, i.e., cleanser > toner > serums/essences > moisturizer/sunscreen) I question her intelligence. I think she latches onto these California buzz-words like “toxic” — which really have no definition or means of regulation in the beauty industry — and tries to shill her stuff accordingly. Watching her use sun screen as a highlighter and then follow-up with a serum (which is never going to absorb through the thick sun screen), I don’t think she knows anything about which she speaks.

  10. It’sJustBlanche says:

    Every time I see her I’m just angry that she was in any of the Marvel movies. There had to be 100 better choices for Pepper Potts.

    • Vavavoom says:

      I agree. She had good chemistry with RDJ, but I think he’d have good chemistry with almost anyone. Emma Stone would have been better, imo.

  11. Vavavoom says:

    I can’t believe I loved her so much in the nineties. She is exhausting. Does she even realize what irreverent means? And if you have to tell us you’re funny, you’re not as funny as you think you are.

    I really think goop (and her marketing) is dangerous. But most of the people who buy (and can afford) her things are clinger-ons who just want to be a part of her social level. That is the funny part. She has the last laugh because she doesn’t actually want to be their friend, she just wants their money.

  12. lucy2 says:

    I find it amazing she suddenly cares about studies, efficiency, and regulations, considering she’s been shilling potentially dangerous pseudo health stuff for quite some time now. Anything to get attention and make a buck, I guess. When she does get into the CBD space, she’ll be telling us how she invented it.

  13. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    Barf.

  14. lascivious chicken says:

    I think she is actually pretty funny. And she’s right that CBD works better with a bit of THC but THC is highly regulated. CB2 on its own doesn’t do much and it seems she doesn’t want to see that, which is a good thing? She could easily move a ton of useless CBD product if she wanted to.

    • Jenn says:

      I had a primary-care physician who warned me she couldn’t prescribe marijuana for my chronic pain, but most certainly endorsed it. “For some reason,” she said, “it’s better if you use the whole… cow. CBD *and* THC. The whole cow.” She meant buffalo. I adored her.

  15. salmonpuff says:

    My narcissistic father also has an “irreverent” sense of humor that some of us are just too sensitive or obtuse to understand.

  16. Zatfig&Kitty says:

    I’ve always found her to be very plain and kind of homely. Definitely the celebrity that compliments herself the most – I remember she was saying her “friend” (aka her in her own head) said she had a butt like a 22 year old stripper…nah dude, your imaginary friend is a liar. I never got into her GOOP crap and I’ll resent her forever because she was the Oscar for that insipid Shakespeare in Love when Cate Blanchett should have won 20 times over for Elizabeth.

  17. Izzy says:

    It’s not so much that I don’t get her sense of humor (I don’t especially care about it), but I don’t understand her utter devotion to crystals and woo.

    • Annaloo. says:

      She actually doesn’t know a thing about crystals if you listen to her. It’s a dabble for her, but you are right: She’s basically selling to the Moon Juice woo demographic

    • Annaloo. says:

      She actually doesn’t know a thing about crystals if you listen to her lol. It’s a dabble for her, but you are right: She’s basically selling to the moneyed Moon Juice woo demographic, which is limited

  18. Commonwealthy sounded witty at first says:

    I love her 😂
    I don’t buy anything Goop*, or take any of her advice**, but I loved her in royal tennenbaums and as Pepper Potts, she’s friends with Beyoncé and Jay-Z, I like her mom Blythe Danner. I also love how she doesn’t care about how much she rubs people the wrong way. And man she rubs people the wrong way so consistently, it’s like she’s trolling but I think she’s just really that oblivious. It’s hilarious to me.

    *I don’t buy most celeb lifestyle products, Fenty and Ivy Park are the exception because it doesn’t feel like Rih and Bey just out their names on something (I’ve never bought a Bey perfume for this reason)
    **who is really making life or death health choices from Gwyneth’s advice of products??

  19. Tess says:

    If she’s using the words irreverent and pithy to imply quirky, clearly she’s not smart enough to know better. Borat is irreverent, “Just do it” is a pithy slogan.

  20. Diana says:

    Has she been vaccinated? Just curious given all the woo woo shit goop sells…

  21. Midge says:

    Any legit criticism of her is met with “they’re jealous because I’m pretty.” It’s weird because she’s not that pretty.

    • Annaloo. says:

      It’s a typical retort from the privileged famous daughters class when you hold them accountable for their ignorance of worldly things

  22. PurpleCabbage says:

    She has moments of beauty but her looks have always been so overrated. It’s like they couldn’t find the go-to blonde actress and had to put her in that box. However, have to admit she can act – not like Marion Cotillard – but she can do decent to good acting.

    Her father praised her up like she was the only person that ever mattered; I theorise that’s the source of her confidence. I do think all the negative feedback hurt her more than she has shown (remember that “it’s like a warzone” comment?). Also she’s not necessarily a sophisticated or even pretentiously cultured person like Cate Blanchett but she could speak well about marketing and ecommerce when she did a guest lecture at HBS (read about it in an article; didn’t attend HBS). I suppose she can call on business coaches to script that stuff for her though.

  23. Heat says:

    When you have to tell people that you’re funny…