Michael Cohen: ‘Rudy’s an idiot, and that’s the problem. Rudy drinks too much’

Former Trump personal lawyer, Michael Cohen testifies on Capitol Hill

I’ve spent months trying to forget the four years of the Trump administration, which is why I keep needing to give myself primers on all of these people. Michael Cohen was Donald Trump’s in-house mob lawyer until Cohen was caught and charged with crimes. Cohen immediately turned on Trump and even testified against Trump in a Congressional hearing in 2019. For all the good it did. Cohen has always maintained that all of the crimes are there, out in the open, and all it would take is a good prosecutor and some search warrants. Which is why Cohen has been giving interviews following the FBI raids on Rudy Giuliani’s home and office. Cohen knows how much sh-t Rudy had access to. Cohen knows that Rudy will fart and then turn on Trump. Some highlights from Cohen’s interview with CNN:

Cohen thinks Giuliani is “absolutely” going to turn on Trump to save himself. Appearing on CNN on Thursday, the ex-president’s former “fixer,” who was sentenced to three years in prison after pleading guilty to tax evasion and campaign-finance violations, predicted that Rudy is sweating profusely at the moment, and despite whatever he and his son claim, knows that he’s in trouble. “There’s no doubt that he’s nervous…. And it’s rightfully so that he’s nervous, because he knows the power of the SDNY is unlimited, and they use that power,” Cohen told Alisyn Camerota. Noting that Giuliani likely “has no interest in going to prison and spending the golden years of his life behind bars. Do I think Rudy will give up Donald in a heartbeat? Absolutely. He certainly doesn’t want to follow my path down into a 36-month sentence.”

Cohen on Giuliani knowing what’s on his devices: “Who knows what Rudy was involved with. What we’re going to find out is, there are text messages, there are emails, there are different types of communication apps that the FBI knows how to reestablish, even if Rudy, who I don’t think is technological, tried to—tried to delete or what have you…. And what happens is, they may be starting the investigation looking at things like the Ukrainian conversations between himself, Lev Parnas, and others [and then] you may end up finding that Jared Kushner was involved or Don Jr. or a host of other individuals in Trump’s orbit. And what happens then is that the Southern District, they end up expanding the probe…. We have no idea how expansive that this investigation is going to ultimately reveal itself, because Rudy’s an idiot. And that’s the problem. Rudy drinks too much. Rudy behaves in such an erratic manner that, who knows what’s on those telephones or what’s on his computers?

Cohen on Trump: “He was afraid even when they raided my home and my law office. “Because Donald Trump cares about only one person, and I say it all the time. He cares about only himself. So, he doesn’t care that they raided Rudy’s home. He doesn’t care that they raided Rudy’s law office. What is it going to do to affect me, is all that he’s thinking right now. What did stupid Rudy do? What did stupid Rudy write? What sort of text messages or emails? What sort of stupid things was Rudy up to that’s now going to implicate me? Because Donald knows he has enough trouble right now between Tish James and the attorney general’s office, as well as Cy Vance and the district attorney’s office here in New York…. He knows that he has all sorts of legal issues. He didn’t need more. That’s one thing I can assure you.”

[From Vanity Fair]

“We have no idea how expansive that this investigation is going to ultimately reveal itself, because Rudy’s an idiot. And that’s the problem. Rudy drinks too much. Rudy behaves in such an erratic manner…” Yes. I didn’t know Rudy was a drinker, but it makes sense and it would explain his public performances in recent years. I thought it was pills, but sure, it could be alcohol. He looks like he’s always got vodka-breath. Anyway, just another reminder: things are starting to happen. And the feds must think that Rudy Giuliani is the weakest link, and they’re starting with him as they begin to build their case.

Giuliani Press Conference at RNC Headquarters

Giuliani Speaks to the Media

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid.

Related stories

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

35 Responses to “Michael Cohen: ‘Rudy’s an idiot, and that’s the problem. Rudy drinks too much’”

  1. Izzy says:

    Maybe the next stop on Rudy’s Angry Fart Tour will be rehab. I’m hoping for Club Fed. We’ll see.

    • josephine says:

      typical male excuses coming out already. he’s a good guy, he just ____. whenever white men get in trouble you can be sure that an excuse will follow, and substance abuse seems to be the #1 candidate if you are wealthy and white enough.

  2. Persephone says:

    I know it’s evil, but I’m cackling so hard at all this.

    • Miranda says:

      Same. It helps that Cohen sounds like a hilariously catty bitch here.

      • Mac says:

        I listen to Cohen’s podcast occasionally and, despite being a total dirtbag, he’s a pretty charming guy and a world class gossiper.

      • Liz version 700 says:

        It is beautifully bitchy

      • Courtney B says:

        I love when he’s on msnbc. I couldn’t stand him before he went to jail and, maybe I’m naive, but I think he did get a big wake up call and change his beliefs and behavior. At least I hope so. Regardless I’m always there for one of his interviews because he’s scathing.

  3. spittair says:

    How the mighty have fallen. To think the man that once helped take down the mob would turn into this ridiculous, corrupt clown.

    • Sean says:

      He helped take down the Italian mob so his business partners (Russian mafia) could move in and take over their operations.

    • whatWHAT? says:

      this is what I don’t get.

      You’d think that, with all of his experience with and access to criminal minds, he’d be REALLY good at it. but he’s a TERRIBLE criminal. drunk, stupid, and with delusions of how untouchable he is.

      • AMA1977 says:

        They all think they’re invincible and the smartest guys in the room, and they’re so dumb that they don’t even know what they don’t know. Rudy might have an inkling about like wire-taps or whatever technology was available 30+ years ago when he was a prosecutor (and according to his staff, he wasn’t really involved with the day-to-day, it was all a power grab and opportunity to preen, so I don’t know how much he knows about that even, TBH) but I GUARANTEE that all these dumbass old white men don’t know the FIRST THING about forensic computing or how law enforcement can recover data that’s been “erased.” I’m sure they all think that if they delete a text or an email, it’s gone forever. NOPE!!! I am here for the Ghouliani unravelling.

        Trump should have just stayed his orange ass in NYC, making bad deals and failing upwards through TV, but he saw running for president as the ultimate grift and was dumbstruck when he “won.” My husband has a theory that in 20 or 30 years it will come out EXACTLY how Putin made sure his puppet was installed in office, and it’s going to confirm that they were doing EXACTLY what they accused the Dems of doing in 2020. These people are projectors of the worst kind.

  4. Ann says:

    I feel like I’ve had some knowledge of Rudy being an utter lush for a while now. People were making jokes about his various “liquid lunch” behaviors since at least the first impeachment trial. Trump is famously a non-drinker specifically to avoid these kind of antics and yet he makes a sloppy drunk his #2. It is all so breathtakingly stupid.

  5. Liz version 700 says:

    The gossip Gods are generous! I love it when we can enjoy a good story about two dreadful people ragging on each other. Mind you Cohen is the anti-hero we never asked for, but Rudy gossip is the greatest gossip now that he can’t actually stroll into the White House and talk the actual President into doing dumb stuff. Inquiring minds want to know will they have hair dye in Rudy’s rehab?

  6. damejudi says:

    You’re wrong about Rudy.

    It’s whiskey breath, not vodka breath.

  7. Marie says:

    So the drippy hair dye was because Rudy had the booze sweats?

  8. ItReallyIsYou,NotMe k8 says:

    /he evidence must be very overwhelming. The feds don’t go after one of their own lightly.

    • Mac says:

      Today’s episode of Talking Feds breaks down the potential charges against him. It will be interesting to see what comes of this.

    • Courtney B says:

      I mean his portrait hangs in the offices of the Southern District of New York. You don’t go after someone like him, go to a judge to search a high profile attorney’s home and have that warrant signed off on, without serious evidence on serious charges. And that’s just what the attorneys in the SDNY have done.

  9. MipMip says:

    Cyrus Vance has let Trump and his cronies off the hook before. Cohen knows this, he likely facilitated it.

    Cyrus Vance is not the savior people think he is.

    • (The OG) Jan90067 says:

      Vance has let them off with a slap on the wrist for sure. But he’s also retiring. Unless he has higher aspirations, maybe he has no &*^%s left to give!

    • Courtney B says:

      It’s not Vance going after him. It’s the US Attorney in the southern district of New York. Rudy’s old job.

  10. lunchcoma says:

    I worked in law in New York over a decade ago, and people were joking about Rudy’s drinking even then – and it takes a lot to get mocked for drinking too much in that world.

    There may be pills involved as well, but he’s been doing the thing where he drinks everything, all day, every day for a long time now. Eventually that catches up with a person.

    • fluffy_bunny says:

      My FIL is like that since he retired. My husband finds phone calls with his parents to be painful and repetitive. My sister in law actually hung up on them last week because she couldn’t take it any longer.

      • iconoclast59 says:

        My mom would slowly get sh!tfaced every day, and we kids quickly learned not to ever call or visit her in the evening. She would drink surreptitiously, pouring herself a tall plastic tumbler of ice water in the early afternoon and then at some point switching the water to vodka. I still don’t know how she pulled off that sleight-of-hand; I never saw it! When she got to a certain point of inebriation, it was like flipping a switch; her personality would change, just like, BAM! At that point, we would scatter like the wind: “Oh, gee, look at the time! Gotta’ go!” She finally quit after a major health crisis (intubated, in ICU for a month), and I’m grateful that I got to enjoy my mom’s sober company for the last 13 years of her life.

  11. ClaireB says:

    Right now I’m praying for there to be career DOJ employees who are as desperate as I am for these criminals to get some justice for all they’ve done to this country and it’s people. I’m not even religious, but I’m putting it out there to the universe! Please let there be consequences!

    • BothSidesNow says:

      Yes, and may the consequences include Drumpf and his kids as well, especially Don Jr., so they can stay together at some Federal facility. Nothing like time with your dad to make the relationship stronger….or more delusional!!

  12. why? says:

    I don’t understand why the press keeps acting like these stories(heavy drinking and being warned that Russia was using him for disinformation) about Rudy are new. Many people have pointed out that Rudy has always been a horrible person and grifter. Cohen is wrong. Rudy isn’t going to turn on Trump because Trump has too much dirt on him, and Trump won’t turn on Rudy because Rudy has too much dirt on Trump. The fact that the DOJ opened these cases on Rudy, Matt, and Josh Dugger but didn’t follow through explains why the republicans are still “loyal” to Trump. Trump and Putin have dirt on them. If the press and Democrats were smart, they would look to see if similar cases were opened against Rand, Lindsey, Ted, Josh, Ron, and Joe Manchun(who has opposed every bill this year and who demanded that VP Harris get his permission to give interviews in his state).

    This is going to turn out like everything else. Rudy won’t face any consequences for his actions just like Josh, Ted, Ron Johnson, Rand, Kevin, Mo Brooks, Lindsey, and the QA gun women have not faced any consequences for the part that they played in the insurrection; Matt and Jim have not faced any consequences for the part that they played in the abuse of children; Desantis didn’t face any consequences for underreporting Covid cases and deaths and then bullying anyone who exposed his lies with arrests or how he may be tied up with abusing teens with Matt(Desantis is so emboldened that he created voter suppression laws, laws to punish protestors, and laws to protect people who attack protestors); and many of the people who attacked the Capital aren’t being charged or are getting away with minor charges. There is no follow-up from Democrats or the press and the DOJ and FBI are still populated by the same people who worked in the Trump administration, and so the story is lost once the press stops covering it. Whatever happened to the investigations into Ted and Josh H for campaigning during the insurrection? Why was Kevin allowed to censure Maxine when he encouraged people to attack the Capitol and didn’t do anything about Matt who abused and trafficked teens? More information came out about Matt’s abuse of teens and the press just glossed over it.

    • Golly Gee says:

      I don’t hold out much hope either. I too think that blackmail (and bribery, and possibly threats ) are used to control many of the players including those in the legal system. The media is just part of the circle jerk.

  13. Veronica S. says:

    Fingers crossed it sticks and that garbage dump of a human being has to pay for any of the horrific crimes he committed against the people in this country, much less those poor people at the border. It is VERY satisfying to think of them all quietly shaking in their boots at home, though. That’s the one thing you can always rely on the ultra wealthy to do, though – eat their own. They’re all out for themselves.

  14. MerlinsMom1018 says:

    Say what you will about Michael Cohen, and there’s plenty, he goes all in. After all, his fall was very public, he’s spent time in jail, so why not go scorched earth?
    I enjoy watching him on MSNBC just putting it out there. He knows what he’s talking about which SHOULD make trump, his family and anyone else with him shaking in their boots.

  15. Meg says:

    ‘the feds must think that Rudy Giuliani is the weakest link, and they’re starting with him as they begin to build their case.’
    Yep-i have a feeling thats it right there

  16. emu says:

    I cannot wait to see how these dominos fall! Trump does only care about himself. He thinks he is so smart is setting everything up that he never is ‘aware’ of what his lackeys do… but they are circling closer and closer.

    I love the insight that Rudy is not tech-savvy and definitely not too sharp in the brain anymore for whatever reason. He totally left mounds of evidence. I forget the exact situation, but remember when he accidentally called the wrong person and left a message about some stupid thing they were planning? Get him!

  17. Lucy says:

    I disagree that Cohen testifying to Congress did nothing. AOC asked him specific questions that put testimony about Trump’s shady real estate tax practices into the congressional record. It’s not a slam dunk, but I feel like it gave investigators another toe hold to start their investigation while he was a sitting president.

Commenting Guidelines

Celebitchy aims to be a friendly, welcoming site where people can discuss entertainment stories and current events in a lighthearted, safe environment without fear of harassment, excessive negativity, or bullying. Different opinions, backgrounds, ages, and nationalities are welcome here - hatred and bigotry are not. If you make racist or bigoted remarks, comment under multiple names, or wish death on anyone you will be banned. There are no second chances if you violate one of these basic rules.

By commenting you agree to our comment policy and our privacy policy

Please e-mail the moderators at cbcomments at gmail.com to delete a comment if it's offensive or spam. If your comment disappears, it may have been eaten by the spam filter. Please email us to get it retrieved.

You can sign up to get an image next to your name at Gravatar.com Thank you!

Leave a comment