Kate Haralson was kicked off Raya for recording Matthew Perry for a TikTok

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On Friday, we discussed this 20-year-old Instamodel/influencer Kate Haralson. She how she thinks it’s super-creepy that 50-something dudes match with her on Raya, even though her account settings are open to men that age. Kate was apparently really disturbed that she matched with 51-year-old Matthew Perry on Raya, and he asked her to FaceTime, and she agreed. While they were FaceTime-ing, she recorded him for a minute, then she made a Tik Tok about how awful it is that older men are constantly hitting on her online. It was… complicated. The reactions to it were complicated too. On one side, I feel like 50-something men absolutely should be yelled at for hitting on 19-year-olds. I’m pro-public shaming on that. On the other side, this particular incident was creepy on both sides, and Kate Haralson seems like a clout-chaser who actively sought to humiliate a guy who was – by her own account – polite and respectful of the boundaries she set online. Well, here’s an update: she was kicked off Raya.

The first rule of Raya is you do not talk about Raya. Kate Haralson, the TikTok user who called out Matthew Perry for matching with her — when she was only 19 — has been kicked off the elite dating app, she exclusively told Page Six on Friday.

“I should have expected that would happen,” says Haralson, now 20. “I feel fine about it. I never really used it anymore anyways.”

A rep for Raya did not return our request for comment, but the app’s website details its strict guidelines to protect its members’ privacy. The “Removal of a Member” section states, “Every member is expected to follow our simple rules of respect, trust, and privacy. There are plenty of places across the internet where an expectation of behavioral standards and respect for other users isn’t required.”

Earlier this week, Haralson shared a now-deleted video on TikTok of her FaceTiming with Perry, 51, after they matched on Raya last May. Haralson told us on Thursday the “Friends” star didn’t seem to mind their 31-year age gap, clarifying that she had the app’s age range set to meet older men “for the joke of it.”

“It kind of felt weird talking to someone my dad’s age and it just felt not right, especially when he knew how young I was,” she said.

[From Page Six]

“…Clarifying that she had the app’s age range set to meet older men ‘for the joke of it.’” Ah, so funny, such a joke that she actually matched with a 50-something guy, agreed to FaceTime with him, secretly recorded him and put him on blast on Tik Tok just for being too old for her. This young woman seems like a complete a–hole. As for getting kicked off Raya… I hope the people on Raya leave the dating app in droves, honestly. It sounds like a weird app.

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Photos courtesy of Kate’s IG, Perry’s IG.

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135 Responses to “Kate Haralson was kicked off Raya for recording Matthew Perry for a TikTok”

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  1. Snuffles says:

    I think Raya will be defunct real soon with these breaches. It’s selling point was supposed to be discretion and it’s been far from it.

    • LillyfromLillooet says:

      Agree! The whole idea was, we’re all in the public eye, so let’s be discreet. It worked for a long time.

      I think that if Raya is going to save itself, it immediately should raise the age bar to 25 and over and start making a distinction between working actors in the public eye and Instagram “models” who make money from posting pictures. Curate your membership. And make a hard decision about whether you want to serve the gross older actor looking for a woman 1/3 of his age. There are escort services for that.

      Also, no one has mentioned this, but if memory serves, Matthew announced an engagement a while back. Guess that didn’t work out.

      • Chana says:

        I think men would stop using Raya is they couldn’t match with women age 18-24 lol.

        And I don’t get the vitriol for this girl. What 19 year old wouldn’t record an interaction they had with a celebrity? Idk I remember being that age and laughing when 60 year olds hit on me, and then giving it some thought and realizing how wrong it was. Seems like she’s pretty typical.

        And he announced his engagement shortly after this happened :/

      • Chana says:

        I’m 100% certain men would stop using Raya is they couldn’t match with 18-24 year old women lol.

        Also don’t get the vitriol for this girl. What 19 year old wouldn’t record an interaction they had with a celebrity? Idk I remember being that age and laughing when 60 year olds hit on me, and then giving it some thought and realizing how wrong it was. Seems like she’s pretty typical.

        And he announced his engagement shortly after this happened :/

    • Oh_Hey says:

      That may have been true before they allowed thirsty low level til tokers and influencers on. Raya (and whatever celebs might have advocated for that) should have known better. That’s how thirsty folks operate and for them no relationship is worth more than clout.

      • LillyfromLillooet says:

        Totes! If Raya execs think about it, accepting Tik Tokers and Insta models actually makes an actor’s life harder/more embarrassing. Brad Pitt was publicly embarrassed by that Insta model who was already married. Just don’t put the candy out there. If the BPs and Matts of the world want young and hot, there are channels for that.

      • Oy_Hey says:

        This is why I’m not mad at the girl in the situation – these dudes knew what was up when 18-25 yo influencers started showing up. Rich, grown men, sometimes with significant others (Perry is supposedly engaged), can find other sources of “entertainment” that are explicitly for that and meant to be discreet. He was using this as an escort service and these girls, no matter how thirsty are probably not there for that. This one struck back.

      • Alarmjaguar says:

        Yeah, but you know using an escort service doesn’t give them the same ego stroke as thinking those young women actually find them charming and attractive.

      • Chlo says:

        How is this an escort service? In that case, any dating app is an escort service. I honestly think she is more of an asshole in this situation than he is.

      • observing says:

        The app claims to be “eilte” but has TikTok influencers on it. I could see how people might think it’s an escort service if the men are as famous as Ben Affleck but the influencers are people I’ve never heard of.

        Are there famous women on this app? I suppose the famous women haven’t sent any tapes to anyone for us to know whether they’re on this thing.

  2. Lady Luna says:

    She is an ahole, they’re on a dating app, in which she is consenting to. If she thought he was creepy for matching with her, she should have blocked him and problem solved. Having said that, he needs to change his settings to older women who won’t pull this kind of crap on him, but that’s on him for doing that.

    • ThatgirlThere says:

      I agree. Unless they are an abusive jerk, why breech the trust of the person you were matched with? Also don’t accept creepy guys match.

      Raya touts exclusivity. They want to protect their “famous” clients and as long as they’re not being abusive, let them.

    • Tanguerita says:

      absolutely. Another plastic clout-chaser with mash for brain. Tiktok is teeming with the likes of her.

    • Jegede says:


      You just know she’s thanking the gods that a famous 50 year old came into her view.

      I expect to see staged pap shots of her ‘shopping’, appearing on the DM/Pg 6 in due course.

    • Case says:

      I agree. It’s not a good look for him to be interested in teenagers, of course, but they’re both consenting adults on the app and she obviously set her age range to include him. It was a crappy thing to do and something that should’ve remained private.

    • Maria says:

      She’s 19 with all the common sense that entails.
      He is 51 who is using Raya while *engaged*.

      If you don’t want to be outed as a creep, don’t act like one. He asked her if he was the same age as her dad. Creepy.

      The comments about how she is the bad one here are not a good look. And half of them are far more aggressive than is warranted. And they play into the idea that a victim of any type of problematic behavior needs to be flawless in order to be in the right in the situation of said problematic behavior. That’s not correct.

      The comments calling her a blow-up doll etc are also weird and scary.

      • Christina says:

        I agree with you, Maria. She a young idiot who is going to make many mistakes at her age. From kids in the Ivys to kids on their parent’s couch, everybody is trying to figure it out at that age. As for Perry, he is into young strange, he is old enough to know the career and social ramifications if it came out, and now his fans and potential employers know.

        She was indiscreet on an app in the app age, and she is part of a generation that mostly doesn’t care about discretion because many value the calling out of what they view as wrong over the consequences. They don’t care about the things that older generations do; I have to remind myself of that when I hear my kid give me an opinion. They are learning how that can work, and they have in-real-time tech, so I feel for her, for them. He already knew. He’s the asshole. She is, too, but I cut her some slack for being young and inexperienced, someone who knows about sugar daddies but is too stupid to know how to get one. Another low self-esteem young woman spit out by our Madonna-whore society.

      • whatWHAT? says:

        she’s not a victim.

        she set her age group settings to include 50 year olds. she got one. whether she was truly interested in 50 year olds or she did it “as a joke”, she is not any sort of victim. she was either actively seeking a sugar daddy kind of arrangement or she’s an a-hole for matching with him “as a joke”. he didn’t groom her, or stalk her, or assault her. she CHOSE to accept the match after they matched with each other. she CHOSE to facetime with him.

        this is not to absolve him of any sort of blame/shame. is he gross to set his age group to include 19 year olds? yes. but again, she ALSO chose to include his age group, and she ALSO chose to engage with him. he had no control over her, there was no power dynamic where he held more power than she did. they’re both gross in this situation; him for being creepy, her for being a duplicitous a-hole.

      • Maria says:

        Nope. Sorry. A man in his 50’s looking for barely legal teens is the culprit. It doesn’t matter if she chose to FaceTime with him or not. Her decisions may have been a little distasteful and yes she probably is publicity seeking. So? He’s a creep, full stop. There is absolutely a power dynamic. He’s older, far wealthier, and well known, and male. Nobody knows who she is.
        Look at the comments here about her. That she’s fake, plastic, a blow up doll, brainless, attention seeking. No wonder young girls end up like her with reactions like these. They’re being written off from the start while powerful wealthy men get the benefit of the doubt. And that is what people are doing here.

      • whatWHAT? says:

        I acknowledged that he’s a creep. as have most commenters. and yes, it does matter if she chose to engage with him. it would have been just as easy for her to NOT set her age group to 50 year olds (if she truly thought it was creepy) and also just as easy for her to NOT engage with Perry specifically if he wasn’t the ideal 50 year old she was looking for. and PS let’s be real here. she absolutely was looking for “the right” 50 year old to engage in a sugar daddy arrangement. she got Perry as one of them and KNEW she’d get a little publicity by outing him. she’s just as much of “the culprit” for asking to match with that age group and then engaging with a member of one of those age groups. in what way was she victimized? again, she was not groomed. she was not stalked. she was not held captive in a literal or figurative sense. in no way is she a victim of anything.

        and there’s no power dynamic if she isn’t in any type of relationship with him. SHE HELD THE POWER TO NOT ENGAGE. but she chose to. it’s not like he messaged her out of the blue while she had her age group set to “up to 30”.

        and NO ONE is giving him any benefit of the doubt. just about every commenter on here has acknowledged that he is a creep. they’re just NOT absolving her of blame completely. and rightly so.

      • Kristen says:

        Her decisions are more than shameful. She chose to publicly humiliate someone for engaging with her in a situation that she set up and at a multiple junctures continued to consent to. If we’re to say that she’s a teenager and doesn’t know better, then the most valuable thing for her to hear – clearly and consistently – is that what she did was wrong; it’s not okay to treat others poorly in order to gain popularity.

      • Maria says:

        No. Most of the comments are reserving their vitriol for her not him.
        A 50 year old man looking for barely legal teens is the culprit here. I’m going to keep repeating this because it’s true.
        It is incumbent upon the ENGAGED 50 year old man with more life experience to be the one to do better.
        Disproportionately blaming her is internalized (or outright) misogyny. As are the resulting comments about how stupid, brainless, plastic she is.
        There is ALWAYS a power dynamic in these situations and these girls would not be on these apps if creeps like Perry were not looking for them.
        Who cares if she was looking for a sugar daddy arrangement? The argument that keeps getting tossed around is “well, she was a consenting adult.” So? Does that mean the 50 year olds preying on barely legal teens aren’t?
        From these comments, the idea I am getting is that it’s perfectly fine for a 50 year old to creep on a barely legal teen as long as the teen is discreet about it? Ok.
        Her decision to publicize this is of questionable taste, but again, if you’re not a middle-aged man looking for barely legal teens, this won’t be an issue for you.
        Trying to frame this as “she treated someone else poorly” is…misfiring, at best.
        She got kicked off the app. There’s the fallout and it’s enough.

      • pj says:

        There’s no crime on either side here, so I don’t know why we’d call anyone the “culprit”.

        He’s old and creepy and desperate.

        She’s young and stupid and desperate for attention.

        No winners, all losers.

      • Maria says:

        I call him the culprit because he is one.

        This situation would *not exist* if he, the, I repeat, *engaged* 50 year old man was not looking for a barely legal teenager. And frankly, that skirts a lot closer to a crime than what she did to him.

      • KatianaD says:

        Maria! Great comments and good work 🙂 I appreciate how you’re educating people in this thread

      • Maria says:

        Thank you Katiana <3

      • Kristen says:

        Maria: I think a good way to consider culpability here might be to examine how people are responding. Everyone who is focusing on her actions is also saying that he’s at fault; everyone who is focusing on his actions is excusing her behavior in light of his. Both people in this situation can be (and are) wrongheaded in some regard. We should hold people to the higher standard and not the low.

      • Maria says:

        This is the problem. Your implication that everyone here talking about her is saying he’s also at fault is not accurate. I am counting *several* comments where people are stating he was victimized, that she tried “unsuccessfully to make him look creepy” (he IS a creep!), comments saying she is the creep not him, comments about her intellect, her appearance, you name it. The very implication that she is just a clout-chaser completely erases his culpability and the wrongness of what he was doing in the first place.
        And we should hold people to proportionate and fair standards. That absolutely does NOT include pretending that the exposure of an, I repeat, engaged 50 year old man as a person trying to be with barely legal teens is on par with doxxing an innocent party during a feud or outing someone’s sexual orientation or what have you, which is how some of these commenters are approaching this.
        At worst, this is a mild invasion of privacy. But as someone else in this post said, you can’t be exposed as a creep if you aren’t one in the first place. I’m not sure why people are forgetting this.
        Saying that people focusing on his actions are excusing hers is a pat way to try to say “boys will be boys”, frankly.

      • whatWHAT? says:

        I don’t see most comments directed at her and ONLY her. Most comments are slamming them both. However, SHE is the one who made all of this public, so of course she’s going to get some heat.

        Should he have “done better”? of course, and that’s been acknowledged. However, it does not absolve her of blame to say that HE should have known better. yes, he’s a creep. And yes, she’s ALSO an a-hole for setting up a situation that she wanted (just not with this particular 50 year old) and engaging with him (even though she wasn’t really interested). And, as noted, she continued to consent to the engagement. She was not a victim.

        I don’t see anyone disproportionately blaming her. They’re just ALSO blaming her FOR HER PART in it.

        A power dynamic exists when two people are engaged in a relationship and one has more “power” than the other. These two people were not in any type of relationship other than both being on a dating site that facilitates interaction. Whatever power you think he had (money, fame, etc) clearly had no effect on this woman. She wasn’t interested despite all of that “power” and, instead, showed that SHE had the power…to engage because SHE wanted to show what a creep he is, and to out him because she could.

        and it does matter that she was seeking an arrangement. She wanted a 50 year old. Just not THIS 50 year old. Yes, she’s a consenting adult. And yes, so is he. No one is saying any differently.

        And I don’t think anyone thinks it’s OK for a 50 year to creep on a barely legal teen. A 50 year old hitting on a 19 year old who’s just minding her own business (in a store, in a park or yes, even on a dating site) is all kinds of wrong. THAT makes someone a victim of unwanted attention. But a 19 year old who is deliberately trying to enter into a relationship with a 50 year old sugar daddy? And sets her dating profile to meet one? And then meets one, but it’s not the right one, so she engages with them a little bit in order to out him as a creep? SHE’S NOT A VICTIM. If it were the “right” 50 year old she had met, she wouldn’t have thought it was creepy and wouldn’t have outed him. She WOULD have been discreet about it. WE all would have still thought the 50 year old was creepy, but SHE wouldn’t have. WE all would have thought “Still gross, on both sides”, but in that case she wouldn’t have been considered an a-hole, just an immature woman making bad choices. But this was calculated on her part. Yeah, he’s a creep. but yeah, she’s also a devious manipulative person. And she’s also still not a victim.

      • Maria says:

        Then you are reading different comments. It’s easily 1/3.
        I am going to keep repeating this. Girls like her are only on these sites, setting these age settings, and encountering men like this because men like Perry are searching for them in the first place.
        Frankly, at this point she *is* a victim if people are going to continue to disproportionately pile on her for merely saying he made her uneasy.
        The fact is also that you have absolutely no idea if she was looking for a sugar daddy or not. Quite possibly she was, I imagine it’s the most commonly sought type of relationship on that platform, but you have a fair bit of projection going on in regards to her. You don’t know what her motives were. But we know what his were – to have a relationship or sex with a barely legal teen.
        Power dynamics are not just in intimate relationships, not by a long shot. The extreme wealth and fame he holds automatically tips the scales. You can see how it’s affected the perception of this incident even in the comment section.
        The insistence that she’s not a victim sort of implies she’s not the “right” kind of victim, which is a bit problematic. She said she set those settings as a lark, she matched with him, out of curiosity she spoke to him, and then he made her feel uneasy. She said she wanted people to know how common this was even with stars you wouldn’t expect. She even said she thought he was fundamentally nice, this incident just bugged her. This is a vastly different narrative than the one you are repeating.
        I am sorry, but calling her devious and manipulative is an exaggeration. She said he made her feel uneasy. She has every right to, honestly. Was sharing it on this level her wanting attention? Probably, but as I keep repeating, it doesn’t make what he did right, and that is the focus (or should be).

      • Eleonor says:

        She is young and she makes stupid things. OK.
        BUT this doesn’t mean she is not responsible for her own actions.
        Actions have consequences, at a certain point in our lives we learn this, we learn how to be responsible and functioning human being.
        She created he own account, she selected her options, and probably Matthew Perry wasn’t the only 50 yo guy chatting with her.
        And if this creepy 50 something wasn’t a celebrity would have she made the video?

      • Maria says:

        Yes, she created an account. She chose the settings. She talked to him. She said he made her feel uneasy. Why are people acting like this was some grand betrayal? Why does it matter who else she was talking to? If they are also 50, they are also creeps. It’s not difficult.
        Of course she wouldn’t have made a video with a random 51 year old because nobody would know who that is. People know who Matthew Perry is and he has a wholesome image (when it comes to women anyway). She did this because she wanted people to know how common it is for men to do this in Hollywood, men who otherwise seem harmless, and how their power and money covers it up or makes it acceptable. You can see how normalized it is just in these comments. The expectation that she shouldn’t have said anything because of course he would do that! Or, it’s a common arrangement, so naturally *she’s* the creep for possibly wanting to enter into it in any way and then seeing how problematic it is.
        Actions have consequences. Why are so many commenters here getting so loudly vocal about ones for her and brushing off if not completely ignoring any for him?
        There are no comments about him as lengthy and detailed as the theses people are writing about her in terms of how awful she is. That disparity is illuminating.
        And sorry, but the idea that saying openly that a 51 year old man creeping on a barely legal teen is weird is an action that requires consequences is just silly.

      • pj says:

        I actually agree with your sentiment – that we should be protecting the girls at all costs and not pile on with more sexism. The blame should be entirely on him, whatever game she meant to play and however she used him later on, he brought it all on himself with his immoral predatory behavior.

        But calling something illegal when it’s factually very much legal is not the argument for this. It derails the conversation.

        Saying she’s barely legal is like saying she can barely vote. Do we count her vote or not?

      • Maria says:

        Well, the concept of voting just includes a vote. The biological and mental maturation of a human being is not so linear or clear cut. But I am using the term barely legal largely as a colloquialism that references a specific demographic of young women that these men creep/prey on.
        It is an entire genre in the sex industry built around the concept of “are they or aren’t they?” meant to titillate.
        And also, it hints at the fact that these men are looking for girls who are, in fact, barely legal (therefore, they can avoid the criminal connotations of their fantasies if not the distastefulness). But legality should not be conflated with maturity – indeed as some 18 year old voters show.

      • Kristen says:

        Maria: She did not say that she spoke to him out of curiosity. She said she spoke to him because she thought it would be funny. This was A YEAR AGO. And then she posted the video because again – by her own admission – she thought it would be funny.

        She isn’t on some ethical quest to help young women here (she would still be using the dating site if she hadn’t gotten kicked off) – she’s knowingly using the internet as a tool to gain popularity and money by making fun of someone.

        And there are no comments here as lengthy about what he did because not a single person is defending him AT ALL, let alone to the extent that people are defending her.

      • Maria says:

        Kristen – he is not a victim.
        He is a 51 year old man creeping on teenagers.
        You cannot be outed as a creep if you aren’t one in the first place.
        It does not matter what her motives were in matching with him or sharing this video.
        And there are plenty of comments stating she is the creep and glossing over his fault entirely.
        I can count the amount of her defenders on one hand.

      • Cheryl says:

        Thank you Whatwhat.
        Everyone can own their actions and intentions.

      • Maria says:

        How has he as the 50 year old creeping on a teen owned his own intentions and actions?

  3. Seraphina says:

    There needs to be accountability on her side. She knew what she was doing and if it was not Matthew Perry as her victim, it would have been someone else. She got lucky – she was able to scam someone so known. And I know I am older but she does us women no favors. She was sneaky and deliberate. She is not a good person.
    This is why my boys say they will ask a girl sign consent and NDA even for prom or a kiss or a date. and WOW was all I could say.

    • Darla says:

      Your sons demand Non Disclosure agreements before a date?

      WOW is right.

      • Seraphina says:

        Darla, I am pretty sure they meant it as a joke to paint the picture of how things have changed. Considering they are all barely teenagers that is where my WOW came in.

    • Lizzie says:

      I was with you until the NDA’s for your sons, perhaps they mean some type of written consent?Anyway, Helen Keller could see this gal coming. She is only looking for Insta content. Matthew Perry was used but no sympathy for a man his age reaching out to a 20 y/o.

    • Billie says:

      Non Disclosure Agreements? For what I’m assuming are non-famous teens?

      • Seraphina says:

        It was a joke they inserted, they are all barely into their teens. I constantly tell them No means NO and everything that comes with the responsibility of dating and especially when alcohol is involved.
        Plus, knowing how kids talk they were probably thinking: well that is one way to stop a girl from saying I am a horrible kisser.

    • ElleV says:

      joking about needing NDAs to protect themselves from being exposed by the girls they date? I’m sure your sons are nice but that joke isn’t

      • bettyrose says:

        Early 90s, I was in college, and a TA made a gross joke about how you can’t even talk to a woman any more. Consent wasn’t a new concept, we’d all grown up reading Our Bodies Ourselves, but it was the early days of Rush Limbaugh and white men dismissing whatever they didn’t like as “PC crap.” I absolutely called out this TA for not knowing the difference between talking to a woman and objectifying her. He was *stunned* and sheepishly apologized. Doubt I changed his life, but now I have to wonder if he even knew any women in his personal life.

    • Maria says:

      I don’t understand how making a tiktok of someone is a scam.
      In questionable taste, yes, but not a scam.

      Where did she get access to his money or assets? How is he really harmed by this beyond a slightly embarrassing story that’ll last for a week at most?

      “She does us women no favors” – I mean, she’s not anyone’s role model and I’m not sure why we are expecting her to be. She’s also still for all intents and purposes a child.

    • Jenn says:

      That “joke” about “get an NDA or video consent before agreeing to a date or an overnight” is an oft-repeated line by online MRAs, who grossly overstate the frequency of false rape allegations. As long as they’re getting “enthusiastic consent,” I guess.

    • Chana says:

      Scam? Did she blackmail him? Or is she just a 19 year old who met a celebrity and recorded it? Lol any 19 year old would do the same. You’re acting like she accused him of assault. She’s a teenager who found an adult creepy – pretty sure every woman here has experienced that before. And I’ve definitely played with my tinder settings before, despite not trying to blackmail anyone!

      Thank you Maria for being the only normal person here – why is everyone is being so aggressive about this?

  4. Darla says:

    She doesn’t look real. Neither did the young woman in the Affleck video. It’s so disconcerting. These girls don’t look real. They look like blow up dolls.

    • Willow says:

      Waiting for the rude comments about the man’s looks in, 3, 2, 1,…

      • Darla says:

        Perry’s looked like he passed away 3 days ago for 15 years.


      • goofpuff says:

        He does look rough but normal. If he had on all the filters and photoshop as she is full of, I would comment on his fake look.

      • observing says:

        I think he looks bad for a public figure, to be honest. It’s kind of obvious in his case — maybe recognizing what he used to look like vs now is understood. You can tell he’s not taken care of his health that much. Is anyone actually in agreement that he looks good? Doubtful.

        This girl is pretty but like everyone else is getting stuff done to her youthful face she doesn’t need. And on Instagram most people do look kind of interchangeable. I suppose these interventions are the norm now, but when you see pictures of young women from previous eras they do look more individually pretty.

      • MrsRobinson says:

        His hair looks like it was blown dry, but that’s the end of his effort. Kind of embarrassing to be wearing a Friends-inspired shirt all these years later, right?

      • NotSoSocialButterfly says:

        @Darla 😂🤣☠️

    • Jayna says:

      I agree. It’s so bizarre. And I have zero sympathy for these young women if they are putting 50 age range on their dating app. They are all about fame and the high life. And they are outing these men for fame and clicks. No sympathy for them.

      I also have zero sympathy for a 50-year-old who gets outed for it. Ben’s woman was early 30s, so different. I don’t believe the follow-up video to her connected instagram was creepy, but it was pathethic. But still he was pursuing an obvious fame-chaser for her tik-tok, or whatever they are doing. She didn’t look real.

      But on Raya and a lot of other apps often it’s used just for a hook-up, like in place of going out to a bar. If both are consenting parties, I don’t care. But if you are pursuing a fake-looking, blow-up doll for a hook-up and dinner and you are 48 or 50, your life is a sad state of affairs. There’s plenty of women up for a casual fling with rich men that at least look normal and not close to being jail bait.

    • Linny says:

      neither could hardly speak English, I wonder if they actually live in foreign countries like Russia or Ukraine?

    • Heylee says:

      Ita. And yet, who did these two insta models attract? Two older Hollywood guys. Which says a whole LOT about who is pushing the beauty standard/ideal that these women are modeling themselves after. In order to chase this standard these young women are getting botox, injectibles, etc. On top of everything else that I find problematic about this beauty “ideal” it’s expensive to maintain. How much is Matthew Perry spending on his beauty routine? Let’s make sure we keep young women insecure and wasting their hard earned money on injections.

      • Darla says:

        Absolutely Heylee. Apparently, middle-aged and older rich men’s ideal woman is a blow up doll. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Few people have a lower opinion of men than I do.

      • Jegede says:

        But we don’t know if it’s just older men they attracted.

        More likely it’s only the famous older men who have been outed, cause that’s where the story mileage is.

      • Joanna says:

        Well said. I know a 26 yr old getting lip injections and talking about Botox. It’s sad how young these girls are getting started. It’s expensive to maintain. Although I’m 45, I just do Botox simply because I know as a retiree I might not be able to afford keeping up more expensive procedures. And like you said, men do not do the same upkeep we do. We women are making it even harder on ourselves

    • Esmom says:

      Yes. I was thinking about this yesterday as I was reading about the Goop 90s fashion retrospective. It’s amazing how natural people looked back then compared to now, at least in the celebrity sphere.

      My sons are in college and it’s nice to see that their female friends all look normal and natural and confident and secure and aren’t trying to jack up their faces or bodies in any weird ways. But I’m also pretty sure they have better things to do than to try to find sugar daddies on social media. Ugh.

  5. Eenie Googles says:

    Huh. I guess anyone can be a “model”.

  6. Cecilia says:

    I think less and less celebs will actually keep using Raya. And men in their 50’s should know better. But if you particularly put your setting to find men in their 50’s im just going to assume you don’t mind the age gap either and you can’t complain about it being “creepy” sorry. Especially if the guys that matches with you respects the boundaries you set up. You can’t really fault matthew perry for much here.

    • Darla says:

      Well, maybe not, but I can judge him and he turned my stomach.

      • Cecilia says:

        @darla im with you on the aspect that a 50-something year old is fine with dating a 19- year old is creepy. But clearly Kate Haralson didn’t think so or she wouldn’t have put her settings to that. And as young as it is, 19 is legal. So quite frankly it wouldn’t have been any of our business.

    • Tulipworthy says:

      I agree 100%. The girl is the creep in this situation.

      • BothSidesNow says:

        She is the creep. Plus her response is a classic, I am a POS but I have no intention of taking responsibility so that’s why I barely use Ray’s. Oh, and setting my age range to 50+ was just a joke. Right….you keep telling yourself as all of that crap you are sticking into your face will one day, without fail, completely disintegrate.

    • Esmom says:

      I was listening to a pop culture podcast this weekend and one of the hosts and one of the guests talked about their experiences on Raya — they’d gotten “guest pass” type invites from bigger celebs to join, which I guess is their thing. And they said they didn’t go on it to date but just to see who was on there and they said “nobody major” was on it. One said the most famous person he saw on it was Chelsea Handler.

  7. manda says:

    It’s surprising to me that people like Matthew Perry and Ben Affleck would be on dating sites or would facetime with strangers in the first place. When you put yourself out there on camera, these are the things that will happen. I think it’s naive for them to not have realized that

    • Chaine says:

      Except that they are both 50 something guys from a different generation who don’t have a clue about social media, LOL

      • bonobochick says:

        Ben Affleck is 48 yrs old. FWIW.

      • Jaded says:

        Well that’s just wrong. They’re both on all kinds of social media so that flattens your theory right there. You must be like 21?

  8. MellyMel says:

    Yeah the point of Raya is exclusivity and discretion…you lose that, there’s no point of the app anymore.

  9. Andrew’s Nemesis says:

    She’s tried too hard to turn him into Matthew Pervy for her own gain. I’m glad she’s been caught out, frankly.

    • Jaded says:

      Me too. It was an unnecessarily spiteful thing to do and it’s clear she’s only after her 15 minutes of fame by publicly humiliating someone because they’re famous. Apparently her leapfrogging over Perry to try and catapult herself into insta model fame and fortune backfired on her.

      • KatianaD says:

        Maybe. If that was what she wanted. If she just felt uneasy and wanted to expose him, then she failed at nothing.

    • Chana says:

      Don’t think she edited the video. I think most people just find it creepy when 50 year old men hit on teens?

      This is just kind of how Gen Z is. They record and post everything without thinking about it. I don’t get the impression she expected anything from this. It’s not like the early gossip days when Tiger Woods mistresses would get pap walks and reality show offers lol.

      Also have been seeing comments on other sites from girls who matched with Perry on Raya. One girl said she was 19, and he joked that she was too old for him :/ so yeah he’s a bit off and seems to have a type.

  10. Eleonor says:

    I think this is supercreepy on both side.
    The older man.
    The girl.
    I have been young and stupid, but would she have done the same video if he was a 50yo man on another app? She says he was nice to her, we don’t know what happened after, as far as I know the thing ended there.
    In my personal experience: I have never facetimed on a date app, but being recorded, even if the video is nice, would freak me out, for me there’s a deal of mutual discretion.

  11. Alexandria says:

    I’m going to both sides this. She put that setting so why was she surprised about this match?

    As for Perry, he’s creepy because he also chose an age setting that’s not appropriate. What was he thinking? 19 is legal and she can have all the sex she wants, but it’s weird for you dude! You’re in your 50s and I’m gonna judge yes. It’s creepy. And I’m glad now I know this because I can get over my crush!

    • whatWHAT? says:

      yeah, this is a sitch where “both sides” is actually appropriate.

      people blaming and shaming just one or the other are just not seeing the whole picture.

      she’s an a-hole and he’s a creep.

    • lucy2 says:

      I agree, in this situation it’s both. He shouldn’t be trolling for teenagers, and she shouldn’t be open to that age range to and recording and posting people without their knowledge.
      Yuck to both.

  12. Rapunzel says:

    The woman who taped Perry was kicked off. But what about the woman who taped Affleck? She gets no punishment? That seems odd.

    • whatWHAT? says:

      affleck sent her a private message after she declined to match with him. a little different of a situation. kind of stalker-y.

      not that she was right to leak his private message, but it wasn’t like they face-timed “as a joke” and then she exposed him. she declined and he went after her in a “don’t you know who I am?!” kind of way.

  13. Midge says:

    I’m more bothered by her lack of originality. Giant fake lips, filters, bleached hair, and dumb duck selfie faces, really? ugh. Make it stop.

    • Chaine says:

      My favorite part is how she has on the giant earmuffs and gloves out in the snow, but coat hanging open and bare midriff

      • Midge says:

        Yeah, the ear muffs are playing into the Lolita vibe, but that’s so gross you guys that men would be into it!

    • Mrs. Peel says:

      Totally. Also, she neglected to wax her ‘stache. How tacky.

    • whatWHAT? says:

      don’t forget the required head-tilt.

      she’s quite generic, IMO. not ugly, but there’s nothing special there. take away the peroxide, the obvious extensions, and the lip injections and she looks like any girl you’d see at the mall.

      in fact, even with all those things, she looks like any girl you’d see at the mall.

    • North of Boston says:

      Yeah, did she go to someone for work and say “please make me look like Kelly Osborne 2021 edition “

  14. Normades says:

    I doubt this chick cares that she’s getting thrown off because I doubt these young women pay to be on the site in the first place. And even if she did pay she got her money’s worth.

    These older middle age dudes are so stupid. Even Leo D who goes after the same age bracket knows how to lock his shit down.

    At least the gal Ben went after was 30+. Asking a barely legal girl to FaceTime gets zero passes from me. She played him and that serves him right.

    • Eleonor says:

      Leo should start doing master class on this…

      • Jules says:


      • observing says:

        Leo does this out in the open. And he gets made fun of. I think he just doesn’t care what we think.

        Although I guess we’ve never really seen how he woos this woman and what his flirting style is like on video. So, yeah, maybe he should do a Masterclass.

      • Joanna says:


    • Jules says:


    • Maria says:

      “Asking a barely legal girl to FaceTime gets zero passes from me. She played him and that serves him right.”


    • reef says:

      I’m amazed so many people are sympathetic with Perry. Yeah this girl played him but this old man trying to date a teenager is ridiculous.

      • Joanna says:


      • goofpuff says:

        Nobody is sympathetic to Perry. He’s a total creep for trying to pick up 19 year olds.

        However, we don’t want to give a pass to a woman who actively tried to score 50 year olds (she admitted to doing it on purpose) to make a name for herself. That’s predatory behavior as well.

      • Maria says:

        It is absolutely not predatory behavior. She did not trap him, she did not force him to be a creep. She did nothing but share something he actually did. She didn’t doxx his location or drain his bank account.
        She admitted to doing it as a lark. People are inventing a random golddigger narrative to pile on her.

  15. Ariel says:

    Good lord- we are all so ready to pile on the 19 year old.
    Men need to be help accountable for being creepy and gross. And being held accountable may just mean the rest of us looking at them like- ugh, gross.
    But still.
    50 year old men like 19 year old girls. Young girls are more likely to not challenge them, to be in awe of them, to think they are so smart and amazing and be impressed by them.
    Women who are contemporaries, as a rule, put up with a lot less crap, and are a lot less impressed by stuff that is frankly, not that impressive.
    So men get giant ego boosts by being with young girls. And that is what most of that is about for them.

    • observing says:

      It doesn’t sound like this girl was impressed by him.

    • Sandii says:

      All what you said is so true…..

      His settings were…18-? what 25, 30?

      • minime says:

        Yes, for all the people talking about her settings (and yes, it’s awkward she was on the app on the first place and used these settings), let’s now talk about his age settings. So what was game for him?! Fresh out of highschool?

    • goofpuff says:

      That is not how 19 year olds are. They are not naive little precious snowflakes we need to protect.

      Is she a woman or a girl? Do we treat her as a woman or a child? At what point does she get recognized for being a woman and is then responsible for her actions? Or do we infantilize her when we want to?

      Is 20 the cutoff? Or 25? Or 30?

      If 18 is considered adult? Or are you still a child until you’re 21? If so we need to change our laws to reflect that.

      • Maria says:

        The implication that we need not care for the mental development of teenagers because of arbitrary laws we had nothing to do with creating and would take years of intensified political activist work to change is….a concerning idea to say the least.

  16. Midge says:

    Raya should sue these women because Raya is DONE.

  17. Valiantly Varnished says:

    She’s definitely a clout chaser. As is the girl who recorded Ben Affleck claiming she didnt believe it was really him. Raya is an invitation-only site that you have to be grandfathered in to join. People have to go through an entire identity verification process. She KNEW it was Ben.
    Do I think their behavior is weird and kinda creepy? Sure. But I also think both of these girls were being weird and creepy too AND clout-chasing.

  18. detritus says:

    Raya/TikTok Chris Hansen

    I’m here for it. Too bad she didn’t have a tv crew

  19. lunchcoma says:

    Everyone looks bad here. The teenager was being mean, Perry was being creepy but also foolish, and Raya should have realized that as much as the men on their site wanted to be matched with very young women with marginal careers, that would end up completely undermining any semblance of security or exclusivity. I wonder if 30-year-old actors and musicians with real careers will be very interested in the site now?

    Anyway, Haralson will see some benefit to her career, such as it is. Perry will be fine. Raya…maybe not.

  20. bonobochick says:

    A 51 yr old man shouldn’t have his dating pool set lower than someone 30 yrs old. So that’s on Matthew to realize and correct ASAP. And if he was engaged when this happened, that an entirely different issue that very messy.

    A then 19 year old who set her profile to include older men for sh!ts and giggles to later mock them publicly for clout is not a classy person either. She’s young but that doesn’t mean she also shouldn’t be held accountable for her choices.

  21. Mina_Esq says:

    This poor girl. I just looked at her profile. Her life’s ambition is to look like Barbie and be in Playboy. Sigh. The fact that Matthew thought he had some common ground with this child is disturbing. But let’s be honest, the creep just wanted to sleep with a 19 year old. Gross. I’m glad she got kicked off the site. It sounds like a low-key sugar-daddy service, pairing up rich older men with pretty young women looking for some money and exposure.

  22. Justjj says:

    She’s a kid being a kid. He’s a creep. What else is there?

    • Desert Lizard says:

      No, she’s a woman chasing clout and being a mean girl to increase her profile. He’s a fool for chasing a girl that young. Too bad it didn’t work out. Sounds like they deserve each other.

      • Justjj says:

        Your prefrontal cortex is literally incomplete until you’re in your mid 20s. She is a kid. You cannot be self actualized when you’re 18-20 because your “self” is still under construction. You don’t yet have the capacity to make conscientious, measured choices at all times unless you’re in the 0.05% of the population with a perfect family and no obstacles in life. You’re going to make a lot of mistakes and be silly if you’re like the vast majority of us. It’s part of life. I don’t understand how people are saying “But she’s so immature-chasing clout-looking for tiktok followers-“ .DUH. She’s a teenager hardly out of high school.

  23. Regina Falangie says:

    She is 19 and she’s acting like it.

    He could be her father and that’s gross and predatory.

    The fault is HIS, 100%. Any negativity directed at her is misogyny. Aim any and all anger and disgust at the grown man looking to date teenagers.

    • lisa says:

      ITA if he wasnt creepy she wouldnt be able to expose him as one and Im glad she did

      the straight rich white guy will be just fine, being a foot soldier for the patriarchy is not a good look

    • Maria says:

      I can’t with people calling him a victim in these comments, for real.

      • Jules says:

        I know, right? As I stated before, cops will go online and pretend they are kids to catch pedos. With this reasoning, are we supposed to feel bad for the pedos for getting tricked and caught? Ridiculous. The 19 year old is not a victim here either, she knew what she was doing. Sure it’s shallow but she’s just calling it out like it is.

    • Normades says:

      Absolutely agree. She’s immature with messed up priorities but he is being a predator. What could a 50 year old man possibly want from a 19 year old woman? There is no mutual blame to be laid here. She’s trying to hustle, he was hitting on a barely legal woman. She has time to grow but he should absolutely know better.

    • Anh says:

      I agree!!!

  24. Susan says:

    Can we please talk a little more about his FIANCÉE? Does anyone know who she is and if she is, still engaged? I feel for her. What public humiliation. And heartbreak obviously. Ugh.

    • KatianaD says:

      This whole thing was a year ago and the engagement has not been a year (I fee like it’s less than 6 months.) the girl speaking out said she is Doing so now after seeing another woman speak out. I mean the financée still might not love this but it doesn’t prove infidelity (unless they had been together 1 year ago?)

  25. Hmppyy says:

    If I were on Raya I would 100% do this just to out predatory creepy men.

  26. PineNut says:

    She looks like a blonde Hamlin sister.

  27. Nibbi says:

    i’m here for this. i want all the creepy lowbrow old losers to be called out and shamed for hitting on youngsters. i don’t care if the youngsters are setting traps for them or chilidishly trying to cash in or not (except that i hope that they do grow and make Better Life Choices and all that jazz, and end up seeing themselves as better than just being Instagram meat someday.) it’s disgusting, embarassing, problematic behavior on the part of these dudes, still trying to cash in for tail all these decades later, seeing women this way. Huge fan of their public embarassment and being made an example of. I’m tired of these disgusting, ancient dynamics. Off with their heads. They should have grown some kind of class or life experience that leads them to see women as more than just f*toys with all of their wealth, success, experience of the world by now. Says a lot about the state of their soul and societal gender relations at large. I don’t care if she’s “technically legal,” it’s still predatory and gross of him to try to hit it.

  28. J says:

    Wait. If she’s 19, what is she doing with a glass of wine in one photo (clearly taken at a restaurant, not a private home).

    They’re both gross. When I was in college, I wasn’t even interested in dating grad students – different stage of life. And now that I’m 49, well, I’m married so I’m not interested in dating, but I cannot imagine being with a 19 yr old. Ick.