Grimes has distaste for the word ‘mother,’ her son only calls her ‘Claire’

grimes babyx12

In May 2020, Grimes and Elon Musk welcomed their son, X Æ A-12 Musk. In the sixteen months that followed X’s birth, Elon ran off to Texas and is apparently living in a tiny home. Grimes has indicated that Elon isn’t around much to help with the baby, nor is Elon supporting her career financially or otherwise. It’s a big mess and I would assume that Grimes is basically a single mother these days. Grimes attended last week’s Met Gala, and she even did a Vogue video feature about how she got ready for the gala. In that video, Grimes (whose real name is Claire) spoke about how she doesn’t identify as a mother and her child calls her “Claire” and not “Mama.”

Grimes revealed that her son, X Æ A-Xii, refers to the singer by her first name, Claire, and believes it’s because the 16-month-old is already so perceptive.

“Being a mother feels weird to say for some reason. I don’t, like, identify with that word which is also really weird because X, he says ‘Claire’ but he doesn’t say, like, ‘mama,’” she told Vogue during an interview while getting ready for the Met Gala on Monday.

The “Oblivion” artist, 33, seemed baffled by her son — whom she shares with SpaceX’s Elon Musk — calling her by her first name but said that he may just sense that it doesn’t suit her.

“I’m like, how are you?.. Like, maybe he can like, sense my distaste for the word mother,” she said, adding, “Which I don’t even know why I have a distaste for ’cause I like, respect it, I just, I don’t, I can’t identify with it weirdly.”

She also discussed motherhood, saying that welcoming her baby with Musk has opened her up to a whole new world of creativity. “I think having a baby was a big kind of like rebirth for me, like artistically. Like, it just like, I don’t know,” she said.

[From Page Six]

I don’t get “I have a distaste for the word mother.” And I don’t get how her 16-month old baby intuitively knew to not call her mama? She must have been encouraging that from the start, telling him to call her Claire. Or maybe the nanny was encouraging it, because… um, she doesn’t give the impression of being a hands-on mother.

Grimes heads to Met Gala 2021

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid, Grimes’ IG.

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139 Responses to “Grimes has distaste for the word ‘mother,’ her son only calls her ‘Claire’”

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  1. Jezz says:

    That’s like, you know, whatever.

    • JesusChrist says:

      Like i don’t like jnow if that was her intention but like, oh my God.

    • Lauren says:

      Seriously. I was surprised to she she’s in her 30s, she sounds 19.

    • DrSnark says:

      Grimes sounds incredibly vapid. On the other hand, Kaiser, bless you for ending the excerpt with that quote. I feel so at home with all you Celebitches.

      • LoonyTunes says:

        Vapid is definitely the word. “I don’t like the word ‘air’ so I’m, like, going to stop breathing.” 🙄

      • AnnaKist says:

        LoonyTunes, not so fast. Let’s not dismiss that idea out of hand. Encourage Claire to explore that idea fully, and to share it with other celebrity dipsticks. I have a list.

      • BC says:

        @LoonyTunes that was one of the funniest comments ever. Don’t give her any ideas she might try that.

        This is just odd. I’d normally say you do you, but she’s doing it so no need. FYI it’s easy to teach a 16 month old to just use your name. They have no reference for it. It’s when they become older and wonder either through people they meet, things they see, why she’s just Claire and not something else. I wonder what he calls Elon the few times he sees him? Does she have a distaste for all parental words or is it the actual social thing of parents, or what? Again its just an odd way of thinking. I’m a bit intrigued actually, but not enough to care that much.

    • BeanieBean says:

      Like, I really have a distaste, like, REALLY, for the word like.

    • Sarah B says:

      I’ve seen her play live several times at different festivals. She has NEVER had a complete set where all of her loops and programs are working correctly. I think she skates by on the clout that she was a producer as well as an artist and Pitchfork loved that.

    • NOPE says:

      Exi, baby, just like call her like “claire egg donor” or “claire progenitor”…’cause like…idontknow…like it totes fits her schtick. 🙄
      I almost rolled my eyes into another dimension with this grimy creature. 🙄 They couldn’t even bother to use their lone brain cell to name their baby🙄 no surprise she can’t relate to being a mom. It’s not just a title, it’s a relationship too. With these creatures a pet would get better tratment and a better name. 🙄

  2. goofpuff says:

    I’m not really sure why someone who doesn’t seem that interested in being a mother had a child. It’s not like Elon needed more kids.

    • Noki says:

      1. She is probably set for life
      2. There is no excuse for a person of her resources to get pregnant if they didnt want to.

      • Wiglet Watcher says:

        Well, I would argue it was a great business move for her to have a baby with a billionaire.

        Her resources are not vast and most of it only exists because of her association to Elon. Now, she’s said she only has to cover her career costs if she needs to find a video or travel or whatever else.

    • Hikaru says:

      If you read Elon’s exes experiences with him you’ll come to see it’s entirely possible Grimes didn’t have much choice in the matter.

      • Kaykay says:

        Wow, that sounds very disturbing.

      • Triscuit says:

        This sounds interesting. Please elaborate!

      • Jaded says:

        He was a bully, had to have his own way with everything and firmly believed he was the boss in a relationship. He famously told his first wife that if she was his employee he’d fire her. After their first son died of SIDS he insisted that they have another child immediately — she had twins, then triplets. As far as anything darker, it’s just nonsense. Grimes wasn’t forced to have a baby and she seems to be as dumb and inarticulate as a box of hair — no wonder they don’t seem to have much of a relationship. He’s married to his career.

    • Ameara says:

      She said she doesn’t like the word mother, she didn’t say she’s not interested in being a mother. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with her son calling her Claire, lots of people do that. It’s not that weird.

      • goofpuff says:

        I never said her son calling her Claire was weird. That was a thing at one point when I was growing up that the “cool” people wanted their kids call them by their first names (at least in the US) so I’m not really surprised by it. It fits her branding.
        Also the thing with not identifying with the word mother is also kind of part of that group of people also, and I guess fits with that branding.

      • JesusChrist says:

        Imma be honest, my grandmother would only have us call her by her first name and that shit stuck in my head forever. It made it very clear that she was not and would never be very close to us or really want to be. I can’t imagine how a child wouldn’t feel the same when their peers call their mom mom and they cannot/are encouraged not to.

      • Millenial says:

        I feel like when X goes to school and everyone else calls their mom, “mom,” he’s going to be very confused and wonder why he can’t call her mom. Add to that having emotional vacuum Elon for a dad, and I really feel for this kid, tbh. I hope he fees loved.

      • Trillion says:

        my husband called both his parents by their first names his entire childhood and didn’t refer to them as mom and dad until he was an adult. He was very close with them.

      • Emily says:

        I understand what she’s saying. When I meet people, mom is not in the top five things I say about myself, it’s not in my Instagram bio. I am a mom, but it’s not my identity

      • GrnieWnie says:

        I think a woman (with a child) having a problem connecting with the term “mother” is textbook internalized misogyny.

        Individual preferences aren’t formed in a vacuum. They have a historical, cultural, and societal context. I submit that the context for hers is misogyny.

        I don’t “identify” as a mother because it isn’t an identity that I assumed. It is what I became when I had a child. No matter how I see myself, I am the biological mother of a child. You don’t need to buy into mom culture (I hate it), but I think it’s disturbing to see women disassociate from the term mother. We bring life into this world. We are powerful. Why choose to ignore or belittle this?

      • Lisa says:

        My husband & his sisters both call their parents and grandparents by name. They were encouraged to do so, his parents are now in their late 60′s and his grandparents are, for the most part, dead, except for one grandma in her 90′s who is also called by her first name. Honestly, this concept of being called by your socially defined role is archaic, calling a person by their given name seems progressive.

    • teehee says:

      I hate the term or definition “mom” as well. It carries so much social – and mostly negative- weight with it and so much stereotyping. I really understand her in this instance.

  3. canichangemyname says:

    I imagine she encourages it, which is fine if that’s what she prefers. But I do doubt he just instinctually picked up on that at this age, but we all think our kids are prodigies LOL so I’ll let her have it LOL Babies don’t instinctually say ‘Mom’ or ‘Mama’ either, it’s just easy to say and it’s encouraged.

    • Andreea says:

      What I think happened is that nobody said the word mother or mama or anything like it around X, which is why he didn’t (doesn’t?) know about that word. I mean, think of any baby you know, they don’t just guess the word mama, the people around them say it and the baby picks it up from them. It has nothing to do with instinctively picking one word over the other, it has everything to do with what words the kid was or wasn’t exposed to.

      • Emma says:

        Yes. When I was little (I was a firstborn) I only heard my parents call each other by their names so I used their names also at first. Then they didn’t like that so they taught me to use mommy or daddy. (According to what my parents have told me.) Children aren’t born magically knowing language already. There is not some deeper meaning here… probably.

  4. Yup, Me says:

    1 – Grimes always looks grimey so good name choice.

    2- Grimes reminds me of girls in high school who were weird just for the sake of being weird.

    3 – Elon Musk epitomizes white male privilege AND deadbeat fatherhood.

    • Jaded says:

      He’s not a deadbeat father — in fact he’s actively involved in his other sons’ upbringing. As far as that airhead Grimes is concerned, I think the baby was not planned, and he may have just given her a “get lost” lump sum payment or something because their relationship appears to be dead in the water.

  5. Jenny says:

    I don’t like the word mother. My son calls me mommy… ❤️

    • Seraphina says:

      My son – teenager- calls me Mother to annoy me. I like being called mom.

      • DrSnark says:

        My 9 year old has started to call me “mother” as a joke. I believe he is thinking MF when he says it, because he has been listening to a lot of hip hop lately. But I have no proof. It’s my fault for pushing the 90′s rap.

      • Seraphina says:

        It took all I had not to listen to my 90′s rap. I finally busted it out on my iphone a year ago. My 17 year old was shocked last when he found out I love 90′s rap. The look on his face was priceless. I said: you do know I had a life before you and I am not just a wife and mom.

  6. hindulovegod says:

    She reminds me of my mother, who is a narcissist. She rejected all labels such as mother or wife that defined her in relation to another person. I’m wondering if Grimes might be similar.

    • Giddy says:

      Yes, she reminds me of a woman I know who gave her children her own choices for a grandmother name. She wanted to be called either Honey or Precious. When she was in her late 70’s she bragged that she could still turn heads in a club and that she had her choice of men. Once a narcissist always a narcissist.

  7. Noki says:

    I understand some women dont like to be called Grandma or Granny,especially if they are ‘young’ grandmothers but Mama/Mommy? Thats a new one !

    • Meghan says:

      My son calls me Moooom or Mommy. One time he spent a week at his dad’s house and came home trying to call me Ma. I put an end to that one real quick!

      I think it would be weird for my 5 year old to say “Meghan” and be referring to me, but ido about when he is older. The only family members I ever called by just their name when I was a child were my siblings and 1 aunt.

      • Malificent says:

        I call my mother Ma, which all my friends find really old-fashioned. My mom called her parents Ma and Pa. My mom is 88 and my grandparents were Eastern European immigrants to the US, so that was her normal back in the day. And my grandmother on the other side was known to the entire neighborhood as “Ma Johnson”. Mostly I’m Mom to my teenager, but occasionally he calls me Ma too, and I like that. I don’t care if it makes me sound like an old matka.

  8. ML says:

    My kids call me Mom/my. However, a significant minority of my friends’ kids call their parents by their first names, so I don’t see anything odd about what Claire’s son calls Claire. The explanation as to why, on the other hand, he supposedly calls Grimes Claire is definitely unusual to say the least.

  9. SarahCS says:

    Err, sure. I mean no way he picked that up, someone is telling him that.

    As for the rest of it, she seems super self-obsessed and I hope whoever is caring for this child is giving him love and everything else he needs to develop.

    • Normades says:

      Yes on all points.

      My kid went through a phase when she was really little to call both my husband and I by our first names. It was just because she heard everyone else calling us that. It didn’t last long and we just thought it was cute/funny.

  10. Eurydice says:

    Narcissism alert – or maybe that’s the way Page Six translated her limited vocabulary. So, baby X instinctively knows what she needs – and how fortunate that he could provide her with a rebirth of creativity. Like, that’s what babies are for, right?

  11. Gail Hirst says:

    I have a memory of being small and lost and a big face looming over me saying ‘what’s your mommy’s name’ and me saying “Mummy”…. so every time we went anywhere there was a ‘crowd’ (Zellers, Folk Fest, etc)…everywhere, I would crouch down and say “Daniel, I am your mum and my name is Gail” so it would never happen to him. I didn’t notice at first he called me Gail, it was my name, I responded..but as he got older, I realized the only person in the whole world who could call me Mum, didn’t. And I feel sad about that to this day (he’s now 38!!). It was also the time of “Michael Dunahee” (a stolen child) so he was taught “This is not my daddy” This is not my mummy” should he ever be told to go anywhere with an adult he didn’t know. And we had a secret word so if the adult didn’t say the word, Dan knew I hadn’t sent them. It was a terrifying time to raise a blond, blue-eyed boy child. It might have been different if his dad had lived, but there it is. She may regret this when she’s got the perspective time gives one (hindsight being 20/20 type thing).
    It wasn’t that I didn’t connect to the word mother (I LOVE being a mum). It was as an only parent (dad passed when babe was 20 months), I never wanted my son to feel that lost, that scared, that ignorant (don’t you know your mommy’s name?) should he and I ever be unintentionally separated.

  12. August Rain says:

    I still love her look.
    It’s a bit harsh and unjustified to say that she doesn’t enjoy being a mom.
    She sounds like a privileged kid who had a kid.
    And she is imbued with transhumanist crap that probably appeals to people her age who can be out of touch with biology and the needs of the biosphere.
    Whatever.

  13. August Rain says:

    And to everyone who is calling her a narcissist- can’t believe I am defending Grimes – she was asked about herself, while preparing for a party. Why on earth should she be gushing about her kid like a 50’s wife? I get what she is saying/ personally my kids gave me lots of energy while I also changed my life for them, as normal with being a parent. She seems like a very silly, granted, independent woman. But her being silly shouldn’t make us revert back to the witch burning times.
    Hell she might not be neurotypical and therefore anything that has to do with categories inducing a certain kind of behaviour may be difficult for her. I actually find it kind of admirable the way she’s at ease with herself. While finding her incredibly alarming in some subjects.

    • Ameara says:

      Totally agree!!

    • Eurydice says:

      Hmmm, it might also be excessive to equate a blog comment to witch-burning. As for “gushing about her kid,” if she didn’t want to talk about her child, she didn’t have to – but it is a kind of gushing to say her child instinctively knows what she needs and wants without anyone having to tell him. But maybe that’s her son’s talent – others might say their child is curious or happy or friendly or thoughtful – her child knows what she wants.

      • August Rain says:

        Well a comment below states that her kid is going to have problems because of it so I don’t know about excessive. Others say por kid! Others that she has narcissistic disorder. Pretty wild statements to me. My comment was more on the side of hyperbole – but then again maybe not.

      • hindulovegod says:

        Thanks, Eurydice. She may be a fine person, but these specific behaviors and language have narcissism notes. And if you’ve had experience with a narcissist, you notice them.

      • NotSoSocialButterfly says:

        I feel uncomfortable with the idea that she sees her child as a vessel to fulfill her needs with her comment that he, “instinctively understands what she needs.”
        That sounds like future trauma.

      • Col says:

        But she didn’t say that NotSoSocial, you’re putting words in her mouth.

    • goofpuff says:

      She seems very intent on a specific branding for herself and tries overly hard to be that person. Her and Elon both. Their entire relationship has been a try-hard kind of extravaganza where they try to the most edgy possible.

    • Jules says:

      Witch burning, really? Just because you don’t agree with the comments, you have to resort to this comparison, huh.

    • Kaykay says:

      Yes, I am getting major “on the spectrum” alerts watching this video.

      I personally cringe by hearing repetitive words and sounds, so naturally it’s really hard for me to listen to the video with all her “likes”. In my head she sounds like a teenager who speaks too fast and hasn’t thought through her sentences in her head well enough to speak them.

      Regards not calling her “mom”, I think it’s all fine if it’s being positively encouraged, and as long as she’s not making him feel her negative emotions towards him calling her mom. I just have a hard time seeing that happening with a toddler so this might have a negative effect long term, but I don’t know anything about their relationship. Maybe she is the most loving mom who just don’t feel connected to the word.

      Regards her look, I saw it in pictures and I didn’t like it too much, but in the video she looks incredible. Like all the words. Breath taking. Stunning. Magical. etc.

  14. grabbyhands says:

    I sincerely hope this is her attempting to cling to her pretentious edge lord persona and not a true reflection of how she feels about her child.

    I don’t think it would be the end of the world if he didn’t call her Mommy (we’re hardwired as a society for children to refer to their parents by these terms rather than by their names, so why it is unusual, it doesn’t mean they will grow up to be maladjusted adults), but I do find it laughable that she is attempting to ascribe him having an otherworldly sense at 16 months to not use the term rather than the reality, which is that he doesn’t call her Mommy because he either is being instructed to NOT call her that it is simply taking queues from her and others around him and only using the term (her first name) that he actually hears.

    More concerning is that she finds the term Mother distasteful and may be communicating that to her child. Kids need to have that maternal bond and that IS something they would pick up on. She seems to regard him less as her child and more as a creative experiment.

  15. Char says:

    He probably never hears anyone calling her anything but her name or at least that is what he hears her being called the most. I am rolling my eyes that she thinks he is doing it because he just knows she doesn’t like the word mother. My nephew called his dad by his first name for a little while. Honestly, I thought it was hilarious, but it was because he always heard my sister-in-law calling dad by his first name, so that is what he picked up on.

  16. Abby says:

    Every time I read a story about grimes and Elon’s child, I feel sad for him. I know he is blessed beyond measure with financial security… but I just feel like his emotional needs aren’t prioritized at all.

    This is totally a hunch because I don’t know what’s going on in their life. I just really hope he has a good nanny or someone who can pour love and attention into him.

  17. equality says:

    The child is going to call her what she or others teach him to say. Children aren’t born knowing words and labels.

  18. original_kellybean says:

    Tell me you’re an a**hole without telling me you’re an a**hole….ugh.

  19. Dme says:

    She comes across as having the warmth of a rock.

  20. Rose says:

    She reminds me of the girls in high school who liked to try for shock and awe but just came off as pathetic and insecure while holding a spork. Her vocabulary certainly isn’t the best. I have kindergarteners who can put together more coherent sentences. She’s exhausting.

  21. Ariel says:

    I was a child of the 70s, one of the neighbors had her kid call her Nancy instead of Mom. until he started calling the babysitter mom.

  22. Haylie says:

    Who knew celebitchy had so many Psychologists as commenters! No, that can’t be right because any Psychologist worth their salt wouldn’t diagnose someone they’ve never met as a narcissist based on a Vogue video clip. People really need to stop with the armchair diagnoses based on some YouTube videos they’ve watched and transferring their own trauma onto someone else.

    Also amazing: women who don’t chose to be identified by what they are in relation to someone else are now narcissists. Almost like feminism isn’t a thing.

    • paranormalgirl says:

      Thank you. I actually AM a psychiatrist (although I am “retiring” from psych and working as a family doctor, dusting off that second residency) and I would never diagnose someone based on “celebrity” interviews and the like. People who are entertainers tend to have a persona they project to the public. And that persona may or may not be indicative of who they really are. Sometimes the persona they project is a form of defense mechanism. And it is entirely possible to have some narcissistic traits without having a personality disorder. I would hazard a guess that most of us actually display some narcissism at times.

      • april says:

        Thanks, Doc, because I absolutely agree with you!

      • Haylie says:

        People see someone they just don’t like due to various prejudices and erroneously try to use the DSM-5 to justify their hatred. Social media has made that phenomenon worse.

    • August Rain says:

      Word. I’m baffled 😕
      Also not taking her transhumanist beliefs seriously is dangerous. Labeling anyone who thinks differently as “wanting to be edgy” ignores the fact that these people believe in finding eternal life through cryogenics and despise biology. It is worth looking into. Her weirdness regarding the word “mother” is interesting on that subject – biology doesn’t define you, technology does etc. this doesn’t mean that she is not nurturing and loving by the way. The kid will most likely be indulged in lots of fantasies and storytelling other parents have no time or inclination for.
      Everything has two sides. But superficial judgement has just one.

    • Jules says:

      You should actually look up NPD vs. narcissism. It is absolutely not a stretch to say that celebs and people constantly in the public eye seek attention and have narcissistic traits. And no one is doing anything here but gossiping.

      • paranormalgirl says:

        I said above that we all display narcissistic behaviors at times. I know I do. We all get self involved. It’s a far cry from a personality disorder.

    • Tiffany says:

      It’s become a catch-all term for any time people don’t like something too. Even in situations where a person is clearly in the wrong, they can just cry narcissism or throw out a similar psych term to win whatever argument or culture war that’s going down. Correlation isn’t causation either. That’s something people forget when they take psych terms and run with them on the internet and in the media.

      • Me says:

        Obvi the word narcissism is going to come up when talking about celebrities. I think the defending comes from identifying with it.

      • Tiffany says:

        I think it has less to do with identifying with it or defending the celebrity in question, and more to do with general fatigue and wariness over how often it’s used as a dog whistle among the politically incorrect & proud. Someone else is always the narcissist to them, especially if they’re itching for an excuse to not show empathy or if that lack of empathy is being criticized.

      • Me says:

        Narcissism and bragging about wokeness are going hand in hand these days.

      • Tiffany says:

        Every now and then, that’s true. More often than not though, the issue is that a person simply doesn’t like hearing that the way they’ve treated others isn’t good. They hear any version of that, and automatically it’s just other people bragging or elevating themselves. Especially when the treatment is something they’re used to getting away with.

    • Col says:

      Agree totally! People are diagnosing her as on the spectrum based on this clip too, which is ridiculous.

  23. Maria says:

    “ ‘Like, it just like, I don’t know,’ she said.”

    Well…I’m glad we got her thoughts on it.

  24. LightPurple says:

    My grandfather decided he was too young to be a grandfather when my first cousins were born (he was mid-40s) so he taught all his grandchildren to call him “Joe” which was not his actual name or even close to it. It was just a name he liked and thought he could form a special bond with his grandkids if they were the only ones who knew him as that.

    • Meghan says:

      For some reason that only my son knows, he calls my stepfather (so his grandfather) “Babette.”

      The man’s name is Matt. My niece calls him Papaw. He’s 5 and not slowing down at all on calling him Babette. They did a family drawing at school of a house with people in it and had him as “Baba?”

      But I guess the fun thing about that name for him is that I was able to buy him a “Babette ate oatmeal!” t-shirt when he was on an oatmeal kick.

  25. paranormalgirl says:

    somewhere along the line, I went from being “mommy”, to “mom” and now am “but moooooooom.” I was briefly “Brenna” but my spawn decided that was weird.

    • kat says:

      My daughter did this for a bit when she was about 3. She found out that I had a real name and just thought it was so funny that she tried it out for a bit. Even now sometimes when I’m not replying, I’ll get “Mom…Mom..Mom…KATRINA” 😂

    • NotSoSocialButterfly says:

      Didn’t that “moooom” come from the animated show “Family Guy?” My sons called me this for a time when they were in high school.😆

  26. K says:

    This poor kid. He’s just a normal baby but his parents want to cosplay daily that they’re aliens or like king of the world or “like, I don’t know.” I can’t with her.

  27. Dillunn says:

    I’m going to call BS that a 16-month old is actually saying the word “Claire” at all. “Claire” has sounds that would be very difficult for a TODDLER to pronounce.

    I remember the emotional and intellectual transition of identifying as a mother. Culturally, there is a lot of meaning behind “mother” or “mom.” I remember being ok with “Mommy” but not “Mom,” maybe bc we are so sh*tty to/about moms. But I don’t know— I got over the dissonance bc I’m a grown up and I allow myself to have different identities with different people in my life? …And because I am *in fact* my children’s mother? My kids (aged 4 and 16 months) call me Mommy (Mama for my 16 month old) because I call myself Mommy to them (“Mommy loves [kid’s name]!”) and others call me Mommy to them. X has learned to call Grimes something else, because it has been reinforced by Grimes and nannies/others.

  28. Lionel says:

    We’ll, better than him calling her “Grimes” I guess?

    LOL at his preternatural intelligence, though. I called my dad by his first name at that age bc I was an only, he wasn’t around much, and I only ever heard my mom call him by his name. Trust me, I wasn’t overly intuitive and my parents were not cool hipsters. My parents thought it was hilarious and it’s super-cute when they tell the story, but the truth is I started calling him “Daddy” the minute I went to preschool and got with the program.

    As for Grimes herself, I like some of her music but she gets a big old “meh” from me nowadays. No armchair diagnosis here, just the observation that this is a presumably financially independent woman who at the age of 30+ thought having a child with Elon Musk and then naming that child X-symbol-symbol-whatever were two good ideas

  29. Chaine says:

    Everyone is being are way too hard on her. I feel like I just stepped into the comments section of one of those mean girl mommy blogs. She is a first-time mom and her kid is not even two years old. She is allowed to not know 100% how to do parenting yet and to have second guesses and even regrets about her identity as a mother and what that means going forward. What parent doesn’t?! She’s just saying those things out loud which most people don’t. If you’re a first kid like me you know the parents always f*** up the first one and they get a do over the second time around. That’s just life. If the worst thing that happens in their parent-child relationship is that her kid keeps calling her Claire, pretty sure he will be just fine.

    • Haylie says:

      Many people take any diverging path another person takes in life as a judgement on their own choices and react negatively.

      Hit dogs are hollerin’ all over the place.

      • Otaku fairy says:

        +1. There was a lot of that in the reactions to women at the vmas and met gala last week. “She’s meangirling ME with her buns!” “How sad that this young lady is oppressing good girls everywhere by not locking her cleavage up in the lysistrata box!”

    • paranormalgirl says:

      There’s a tiktoker name brittikitty who’s adorable 2 year old calls her dad “Mike.” It’s hilarious and sweet. kids will do kid and they eventually find their groove.

  30. Kathryn says:

    The nanny who I had growing up, when she had kids of her own (3 boys) her first son instinctively called her Jill when he was around that age. It was something that really upset her and she would nicely ask him to call her “Mom” and he just didn’t want to for whatever reason from the time he was very young. Then she had two more sons and it just kind of caught on and they all called her Jill, never mom. It made her sad but at the same time she was a very kind and patient person so if that’s what they want to call her, she let them. She can only kindly request they call her mom so many times haha.

  31. Songs (Or it didnt happen) says:

    Meh, I will hate on Grimes for a lot of stuff, but not this. She says she respects the word Mother (and, ergo, mothers themselves) but that first time motherhood is a weird for her and its hard for her to identify as a mom now. Lots of moms feel that way. I think she’s getting blowback more because she is Grimes than that she is saying anything particularly scandalous.

    • paranormalgirl says:

      Been a mom for 20 years and it’s STILL a weird concept to me. Like, I created these creatures and they have their own distinct personalities, yet they came out of me. LOL

  32. dea says:

    Eh, I know she’s usually an annoying tryhard but as someone who calls her parents by their names and not mom/dad I can relate.

  33. Jaded says:

    Deep thoughts from Grimes:

    “…like…it’s just like….you know.”

  34. L4frimaire says:

    I had a cousin like that. Her first child called her by her first name instead of mom. No one had an issue with it, and not sure how it came about. It wasn’t a philosophical thing.

  35. ao says:

    My son calls me by my first name because he calls my mom, his grandma, Mami. I don´t feel weird, when we are with people he does call me mom, I never ever told him not to. But doesn’t bother me either.

  36. Merricat says:

    Everyone else calls me by my name, but only my child calls me Mama. I don’t care about the choices other people make about this. I love being her friend, but I am her parent first.

  37. Fabiola says:

    My son is autistic and mom and dad are one of the few words he could say. He says mom and dad with with such joy. I couldn’t imagine taking that word away from him. I’m not sure why mom is a negative word for Grimes. To me it means nurturer, protector and love. All the things I give to my little boy.

    • Haylie says:

      But that’s your child and your life. Maybe X gets all the joy from calling his mother Claire. Why would you take that away from him because of what you feel should apply to his life?

      • Fabiola says:

        I am strictly speaking on my life and my son. He is autistic and has a very limited vocabulary. Mom and dad are the only few words he can say. If I hated the word mom and did not allow him to call me mom he wouldn’t have any other word to substitute it with to identify me since he can’t say my name or any other name but mom. That’s what I meant I couldn’t take that word away from him. I also said I wasn’t sure what her reading was for not using mom but I also didn’t attack her for it. As long as she loves her son that’s what matters.

  38. MangoAngelesque says:

    I was an only child for the first 10 1/2 years of my life, and when I started talking, I called my parents by their first names a LOT. But that was because, as they were new parents and I was their only child, I primarily heard them calling each other by name all the time and picked it up. With no one else calling them Mama or Daddy, it just took longer for it to click that that was who they were.

    My brother didn’t have that issue when he started talking, as not only was I there calling them Mama and Daddy (we’re southern, those titles stick), but they were in the habit of referring to each other that way more often in front of him.

    So little Binary Code likely calls her Claire because that’s what literally every other person around him calls her and it’s all he hears 🤷‍♀️ Not for some metaphysical reason.

  39. Zara says:

    I don’t understand the mean, judgy comments here, either. When I had my child, I was kind of taken aback by how, almost overnight, “mother” was now my identity to most of the world. At my child’s daycare, they referred to me as “so-and-so’s mom” (makes sense because there are too many names to keep track of) and my partner even started calling me “the momma” or “mama”… as in “what does the mama want for dinner?” or “ask mama where the ball is.” I found it a bit alienating and I didn’t prefer it—it just happened. It was also a big adjustment to inhabit the role of mother (labels aside) because it is an intense and all-consuming role. I love my child and we have a warm and affectionate relationship. He calls me “mama” and sometimes by my first name, which also makes sense since that’s what most other people call me. To me, this is preferable (to have some flexibility in the labels) because it allows me to be “myself” and “a mama.” It just seems harsh and yeah anti-feminist to pile all this hate and diagnoses onto someone because they expressed their mixed feelings about having a child or inhabiting the role or label of mother, which is a very loaded one for many reasons. So much of how motherhood is framed in mainstream society is prescriptive and confining and inherently judgy. It’s also entirely possible and normal to choose to have a child and still to have mixed feelings about it. Also, many non-binary/queer people don’t identify with the term “mother” or “father.” Why should they? To them, it may not be a symbol of love and attachment the way it might be to you. I think some people here are assuming that the term “mom” is synonymous with love and attachment. Some people may actually feel better being a parent if they are also allowed to be themselves in a more fluid way while also caring for their children. The assumption that using those terms (mom or dad, etc.) is somehow an indication of healthy relationships or “right” relationships with a child is not necessarily true, and many people may feel differently, for many reasons. They may want to determine their own identities, separate from the binary/gender normative/nuclear family, etc. I get that people are kind of just enjoying making fun of Grimes, but from a non-gossipy angle, what she is saying is not indicative of some pathology or bad attachment. I would say forcing people to adopt the traditional trappings of “motherhood” can lead to pathology. Maybe. I don’t know.

  40. Itteh Bitteh says:

    I mean. I get “mom” most of the time, but occasionally when the teen is annoyed it’s “birth giver.” LOL. Neither bother me. Let him call her whatever he wants, let her have her discomfort with the word “mother.” Maybe there’s issues there, maybe there isn’t. If he’s cared for and knows his Claire loves him, does it really matter? Not everyone has to fit inside a traditional box.

    • Zara says:

      That sums it up! I would also add that dying on Mars should be a pretty achievable dream (for Claire, anyway).

  41. Nicole r says:

    Grimes comes off to me as neurodivergent- so this distaste for being called “mother” because she had a child makes sense. She doesn’t see any reason why her name should change, she is “Claire”. And If you don’t refer to yourself as “mommy” your child won’t start. They will mimic what others call you, naturally.

    • Fleur says:

      That’s the most fair comment I’ve seen about her on here. I’m not a mom but I kind of get where she’s coming from. I don’t like the word mom or mother, but like mamma or mum or mommy, or the French Mamen. Not sure what I’d want my kid to call me past the mommy years , but I dislike the way “mom” sounds phonetically.

  42. april says:

    She’s very creative and imaginative so, of course, her personality will be quirky.

  43. psl says:

    No one else thought of Fleabag? I picture the kid walking around saying, “Where’s Claire?”

    hahahahahhaha

    I miss that show.

  44. Twin falls says:

    Parent as a concept just doesn’t sit well with me, says person to their child. I gave you life by providing half your dna and I’m going to be present in your life and care for you…. Just don’t put a label on it, okay kid? 🙄

    • Zara says:

      I love you, child. Son, please get me the milk. Daughter, you have done well in school. These sound archaic, no? Not using these labels as a daily form of address does not eliminate or deny the relationship.

      • Twin falls says:

        I didn’t say it eliminated the relationship, their relationship was described in so many words, instead of an archaic one like mom.

      • LilyPants says:

        I agree Zara… I call my Mother – “Mumela”. It is Mum plus Pamela. My Mama’s name is Pamela. I know nieces that just would call their parent by their name. I remember being surprised when my older cousin called my mother “Pam” or our mutual uncle “Len”. It aint hurtin nobody and that is between her and her child. Me? I love calling my Mum “Mama”.

    • Zara says:

      Maybe I misunderstood your comment… this is an old thread by now. But re your comment “just don’t put a label on it” I just meant that you can recognize the parent-child relationship (or label) without exclusively using those labels in the relationship. This becomes obvious when you think about how it used to be common to call your son “son,” but now most people in this part of the world call their children by their given names, so they are not only defined by their role relative to you, the parent. It seems kind of desirable / healthy for your child to acknowledge that you have a name an identity beyond “mom.”

  45. Annaloo. says:

    like, you know and like, and whatever and like and Dune and eep opp orp…

  46. Jenn says:

    I mean, I get it. She doesn’t ID as a mother; she identifies as a space elf from the future. I don’t know if she’s capable of self-examination — and I think the cyberpunk fantasyland she lives in is probably a way of avoiding it.

    Anyway, I LOVE her Met Gala look, and her anecdote about annoying Sting with her thoughts on the movie Dune is *hilarious*. I don’t have the energy to dislike her. Mostly Grimes just makes me depressed.

  47. LilyPants says:

    I thought Elon was there. I saw them in a pic together online.

  48. Debbie says:

    Well, and I’ll use language that, like, Claire will, like, understand. Between, like, the child’s first name and, like, his calling her “Claire” she should REALLY enjoy his teenage years.

  49. The Recluse says:

    Are we sure this child isn’t alien offspring? His mother is pretty spacey.

  50. LovesitinNM says:

    Love her look! And her way of being on theme. Wanting to die on Mars is interesting.

  51. Samab says:

    Well, Grimes is just a bitch with too much LSD in her hands.

  52. Premadonna says:

    It’s funny/depressing/crazy/predictable how ALL of Elon’s partners (Specifically his first, second and third wives, which are actually only two people, and current partner Grimes. Only exception is Amber Heard) start out as brunettes, and eventually get lighter and lighter until they’re bonna fide blonde and then that blonde gets blonder and blonder……

  53. Premadonna says:

    Also, I feel the need to mention that went I went to rehab, many moons ago (not that it makes it better or worse, the fact that it was many moons ago) we did group therapy like 5 time a day. On this particular day the therapist (or counselor or whatever her title was) said it was my turn to talk, as I was usually sullen and silent, and so I babbled for about 10 minutes. I noticed one of the other patients, someone I was friendly with, was writing something while I was talking. When group was done, he came up to me and showed me the paper he had been writing on. It showed group of four lines with a fifth line slashed across each group, representing five. There were many many of these groups on the paper. My friend informed me that during the 10 min or so I spoke, I said “you know” 57 times (!!!!!) If you had asked me, I would have sworn I only said it a few times. Ever since then, I TRY to be as aware of and limit my use of “like” and “you know” and all those other annoying filler words and phrases that just make one sound dumb. Even if one is not. 😁 Grimes would be wise to do the same. Maybe she seems someone like my friend to keep a running count for her.

  54. lol tradwives says:

    I don’t like Grimes and I think she comes across as extremely pretentious and up her own @ss, but some of these comments are ridiculous.

    It seems that every time a woman does something like this the comment section gets swarmed by time-travelling housewives from the ’50s. The woman doesn’t want to be called “mother”, it’s not the end of the world, girls.