Hilary Duff’s youngest child, Mae, is seven-months old. Hilary has two other children, Luca, nine, and Banks, three. Over the weekend, Hilary posted a photo to her Instagram Stories of Mae in cute little knit outfit staring into the camera. But the point of the photo was Mae’s new accessories: earrings. Hilary wrote on the photo that she had just pierced Mae’s ears and that she couldn’t, “wait for the internet to call me a child abuser…again.” Hilary has been through this once before with Banks, who got her ears pierced at eight months. When Hilary posted a sweet photo that showed Banks newly pierced ears, mommy-shamers came for Hilary, accusing her of mutilating her daughter and likening the act to child abuse.
Hilary Duff is ready to fend off mom shamers after getting her 7-month-old daughter’s ears pierced.
The 34-year-old actress took to her Instagram Stories on Sunday to share a photo of Mae James, the youngest of her three children who she shares with husband Matt Koma. In the picture, the baby’s new earrings were on full display.
“Yes ! I pierced her ears today. Can’t wait for the internet to call me a child abuser…again,” she wrote.
Duff was referring to the mom-shaming comments that she received in response to piercing her older daughter’s ears back in 2019 when she was 8 months old. It was a black-and-white photo posted to Duff’s Instagram account of herself with daughter Banks, now 3, as the two played around in the kitchen. Soon enough, commenters took note of the new jewels and shared their opinions.
“That’s awful, did the baby ask you to get her ears pierced? No, then why would you do it,” one person wrote.
Another said, “I can’t believe someone who seemed so screwed on pierced her babies ears, causing unnecessary pain that isn’t for medical reasons done by a fully qualified medical professional is child abuse in my eyes.”
In 2019, several people did come to Hilary’s defense saying both that she did nothing wrong and that they had either pierced their babies’ ears or had their own pierced as babies. I actually didn’t know piercing babies’ ears was a contentious subject. I should have, everything with babies is a contentious subject. I did not pierce my kids’ ears, but it had nothing to do with whether I thought it right or wrong to do so. I’m just too lazy to keep the holes clean and the earrings were just something else for me to lose. There are many cultural ties to piercing a babies’ ears. It can also just be a preferential thing. If the parents are willing to take the care necessary, I have no opinion on the subject. To me it’s completely up to the family. I will defend the practice against the mutilation claim, though. Ear holes close up very easily and most of the time without any evidence of it ever being there.
As for how Hilary handled this, I think she probably took the best approach. She knew it was coming no matter what, so head-on was clever. Put up the post up so the dissenters can have their pile on and then everyone moves along. Plus, it takes away their power if she throws out the child abuse claim before they can. I know they will still come for Hilary, but this takes some of the bite out of their fangs.
Photo credit: Avalon Red and Instagram
I don’t think it makes her a child abuser, that said, doesn’t this just highlight that she’s treating her child like a doll? I don’t know, I get for some people it’s a decorative thing, but I feel like the kid should be old enough to make the choice for themselves.
Well i guess if that was the approach it wouldnt be called parenting. How many things will need to take a pause so we can ‘wait until their old enough’ to decide.
That is an extremely weird argument. You’re not parenting your kids if you allow them to have their own opinions about their appearances?
This is a cosmetic and unnecessary choice so I don’t understand your reasoning here.
I’m agnostic on the ear piercing. What I find irritating is her almost gleeful “Can’t wait for the Internet to call me a child abuser.” Nobody would have known unless she brought it up. She loves the attention.
Like it’s said in the article, it can also be cultural. I’m of Indo – pakistani origin and baby girls almost always have their ears pierced.
“Culture” should never be above criticism, just because something’s cultural it doesn’t mean it can’t be harmful too. We do this here as well (deep in Catholic Central) and I had my ears pierced at roughly the same age as Duff’s daughters. I personally don’t mind and most certainly don’t think it’s child abuse, but I think there could and should be an open-minded discussion on bodily autonomy in little children and the whole gendered aspect of it (it’s mostly only done to little girls).
@Sally
Totally agree with everything you said.
Im from Southamerica, and i believe it’s actually quite a common practice over here. Mine weren’t pierced and I always wished my parents had done it lol, because I remember getting my ears pierced (when I was around 10) and it actually hurts! But oh well, if I had kids I would def do it.
Me, too, Snazzy. We are Sards. My mum was a devout Catholic. It was the custom to baptise babies as soon as possible in case they died before being relieved of the dreaded Original Sin, meaning they couldn’t then go to Heaven. I was baptised when I was 4 days old. And just in case I did die as an infant, she wanted me to look pretty as I entered Heaven, so she pierced my ears when I was 2 days old. It seems so ridiculous now I didn’t bother with my own daughter. She’d been at school for a year when she asked to have her ears pierced.
Hilary is white though (right?) so it’s not “her culture.” Completely different situation.
@emma…white means you can’t have culture? LOL…
@emma, what specific culture is “ white”? Do you mean white or WASP? Somehow I don’t think this would even be a topic of conversation if we were talking about Cardi B’s daughter, who has pierced ears as a baby. Man, talk about unconscious bias.
I’m against it, it really shows a lack of respect for the baby as a person ( who may not want to wear earrings or have scar tissue in their lobes).
It hurts and it permanent. Why do this to your baby just for something that “looks cute”? ( I don’t think it does look cute, just looks wrong to me.
FGM and circumcision are also very wrong, despite being cultural / religious practices.
I don’t think it’s child abuse but maybe we should reconsider this practice? Bodily autonomy is a big deal and it’s never too early to start practicing it’s importance (when not medically necessary or a public health crisis – just held my screaming 5 year old while he got his Covid vaccine yesterday). Parents have to make decisions all the time their kids don’t like. Is ear piercing a baby child abuse? No. Is it a grey area of making the decision to alter someone else’s body without their permission for esthetics? Maybe?
For those of you who had your ears pierced as young children, were you glad that it was done when you couldn’t remember?
I don’t know if I’m glad it was done back then. I pretty much use those holes daily as I love wearing earrings and I got a bunch of other piercings too throughout my life; not all of them healed as impeccably as the first ones (which were done by a pediatrician) and while I don’t think piercing itself hurts, the associated complications can. So on one hand I’m kinda glad I have these nice and tested ones, but on the other hand I have a weird thing about my ears, I HATE it if anyone touches them, not even intimate partners are allowed and I wonder if that reaction stems from getting them pierced so young.
My parents are from South America and where they come from, it’s common for babies to get their ears pierced. I got my ears pierced as a baby and I’m glad my parents did that. I never had any issue with my pierced ears and I’ve always loved wearing my earrings.
I’m like @Carol on this one: I’m definitely glad I had it done young and that I don’t remember. I love earrings, basically wear them daily, so I guess for me it really isn’t an issue.
I’m Mexican born and raised in Mexico. When I was a child it was very unusual for me to meet another girl without her ears pierced. I’m happy it was done before I would even remember. I have wear clipped earrings and those things gave a bad headache. I agree that is a delicate subject and kinda grey area when it comes to parenting.
@coco – I totally agree with your comment, and I’m sending you a ::high five:: for getting your kiddo vaccinated! Mine are scheduled for this week.
My mom was adamant that no, only I decided when I got my ears pierced. She was generally really good with bodily autonomy stuff and as an adult I appreciate it even more.
I’ve had my choices about my body not respected since, and knowing that I got to control that one is important.
Had mine done at 6 months old. Don’t remember it, certainly hasn’t scarred me or left me resentful at my lack of choice. There are bigger fish to fry lol. It’s not that deep.
I got treated like a doll by my mother my entire childhood and she actually forbade me from getting my ears pierced (it was the 90s and I was the only girl in my class without them) because they didn’t fit “her” image of how her “doll” should be.
I was also explicitly forbidden to cut my hair, had to sit and let her style it for 2hours every 3 days, and not allowed to choose my own clothes until I left to live with my dad as a teenager. At which point I shaved my head and pierced my ears. Yay.
I have mid length hair these days and let my ears heal up. I decided I’m not a piercing person.
Hm, didn’t mean to get all personal there, but I do remember that when I was a middle schooler it was a subject of ridicule/abnormality that I didn’t have pierced ears among my peers.
Yeah we left it up to our daughter. We see it as part of the larger lesson that she owns her own body and decides what happens to it. Plus we would want to have them pierced professionally and they won’t do kids under 5. It’s just like how we immediately stop tickling her if she asks us to stop. She is 8 now and has decided not to have her ears pierced yet. Maybe one day.
I get that parents make many choices for kids but ear piercing is totally unnecessary. We also would not have circumcised a male baby for the same reasons. I don’t see piercing as abuse but I do think it’s a poor parenting choice.
Touchy subject it seems. I never saw it as abuse but I was slapped and spanked a lot as a kid so I’m probably not the best judge here lol
Here in Brazil someone will come around in the hospital after you’ve just given birth and offer to pierce your daughter’s ears. It’s a thing. If older people see a baby without pierced ears, they automatically think it’s a boy.
I’m married into a Latino family and they are shocked that I haven’t allowed them to take my baby girl and get her ears pierced! Meanwhile my white family would be shocked if I did it lol.
Having the Latino family has made me open to doing it younger, maybe when she’s 6 or so, but not before then. Definitely a cultural thing. I respectfully told my mother in law, with as much tact as I could, that I would not consider it a fun “surprise” if she took my little girl to get her ears pierced when she’s babysitting one day. She understood!
From a purely baby stand point I feel there is a high risk of the piercing being tugged on and hurting for the baby.
Brazilian here as real. My mom pierced my ears when I was a baby and that’s the reality I’m used to. Never crossed my mind, it was a issue in other countries.
Same thing happens in Argentina, the hospital has people who pierce babies ears if the parents want to. Not on the boy thing though, people assume gender based on their hair here.
In Mexico it’s the same. So my mom got my ears pierced as a baby. When I was 13 I ask my mom to get an extra pierce in each ear. It hurt.
By the time I was 15 I didn’t like having two earrings on each ear. I toke one out and it closed by it self living no scar behind. I only have one earring on each ear.
I guess is a cultural thing because i don’t see it as child abuse.
Brazilian here too and same thing. I actually love that my mom pierced my ears when I was little because I only wear earrings like, once a year, and this way they never close and I don’t have to worry about it. Works perfect for me
Sam in Mexico.My kiddo got her pierced by a nurse when we took her for revision. Baby sept through it. I am neither for or against, but I also got mine pierced when I was about 11 or 12 and it was a nightmare. they almost got infected, even as my mom and I were caring for them.
I had t stop her from wearing her earrings when she started at nursery school, for safety reasons. Now she is 5 and she loves blingy things, so I told her that I cantata her to get her ears re-pierced, but that it will hurt, and she says she prefers to stay like that.
She hates injections, so I dread when she will want to really go for it.
Cute baby – thats all I have on this story.
Ditto. Cute Baby. Best wishes to Hillary Duff and her beautiful family.
Many woman pierce their baby daughter’s ears.
What has happened to our society that we criticize people we don’t know and issues that are none of our business?
You know what they say about opinions …
It’s not that big of a deal. People that go to her page to call her an abuser are the ones with the real issues.
Does a baby need ear piercings? No. And it does hurt. It can get infected.
Mother Nature makes us perfect. Scarring a baby seems dumb.
100% this. A child who cannot communicate effectively may experience unnecessary pain and not be able to express that properly. It is clear this was done for the mother and not the child.
Well who cares if the baby is in pain, the baby must look cute and as girly as possible !
*sarcasm*
Do they need it? No. But babies don’t need necklaces or bracelets and plenty of other things either.
I think abuse is a bit strong, though. I think body autonomy is absolutely important, but I genuinely wish my mother had done it when I was a baby – not saying that is the right option for anyone else, but for me personally. Some of the reason that parents do it then is because it’s a lot easier to keep an infants piercing cleaned and taken care of then a child who’s older. For me, I wasn’t allowed until I was 10 or 11. My mother brought me to a hairdresser who used a gun to do it. This would have been 2000ish. I jumped on the second ear and one was a bit lower than the other. THEN my mom insisted on putting tiny gold hoops in my ear once they were able to be switched out because she thought it would be lower maintenance. She was helping me get ready for some event or holiday and was blow drying my hair and the brush caught the hoop and made it worse.
I now have one earlobe that I can’t even wear studs in, and there’s a scar too. A pediatrician who pierced with a needle would have been a lot safer of an experience than the piercing gun.
I don’t think that a parent who provides proper aftercare and had a pediatrician do the piercing properly with a needle and not a gun needs child services called on them, ya know? But I also completely understand the judgement and know that it is coming from a place of concern for the most part. At the end of the day we still need to do a lot of work on body autonomy and I think that’s a very valid point to consider with this kind of thing.
My mom made me wait until I could take care of them myself so I got them done in 3rd grade. We went to Claire’s and the first earring got stuck in the gun, with my ear in it. Then I guess the piercing person was scared and my 2nd hole is way off from the first one. In high school I went to see about getting them double pierced and was told I couldn’t because they’re so whackadoo.
And now they’ve closed up enough I would have to get one repierced in order to wear earrings again.
A necklace or a bracelet are not the same thing as a piercing, But yes, babies don’t need them as well.
I don’t think it’s child abuse. I don’t think it’s mutilation.
But a lot of parents do it so their daughter looks cute and people see that she’s a girl. And I think no pain (no matter how briefly it is) is worth that.
Now, I don’t get it. Putting holes in your baby’s ears and hanging ornaments on them. Not a doll.
But child abuse?? no.
Just a personal and perhaps cultural preference.
Seems like unnecessary work and complications if there is infection.
I assume baby earrings are difficult for baby to remove which lessens the swallowing a pointy metal thing possibility.
My mother and grandmother believed “only gypsies pierce their ears”. So I wasn’t allowed until I was 16.
Funny thing is, I haven’t worked pierced earrings in decades. Holes never closed, but on special occasions I pick from my grandmother’s collection of fabulous, bold, occasionally gaudy clip on’s.
“Only Gypsies Pierce their ears” wow! What universe is this?! Just wow! Sorry but that’s really racist and really dismissive of a lot of cultures who do this.
Grandmother was born in 1913(?) in Alabama, and she was definitely racist. Loved her, but oh yeah, Horrifying. Apologies. Just something i recall her saying in my childhood in the 1970s.
LOL,thought the same. It reminded me of who? ah, Jennifer Garner, who said somewhat proudly that her dad claimed “Garner girls did not get their ears pierced”, it sounded to me like my stranged hypocrite brother who did not want his family listen to non-christian music (and meanwhile he cheated on his wife)
In my culture, it’s normal to have your babies ears pierced as soon as 1. I didn’t get mine done until I was around 5 which did raise a lot of questions and eyebrows amongst my extended family of why I didn’t when I was younger.
I can also attest to your ear holes getting closed without issue. The earring back went inside my ears (twice) so after the second time, I didn’t wear earrings out of fear and they’ve closed up.
I have no opinion on the ear piecing, I think everyone picks a year when they think it’s “appropriate”, my mom took me at 6 and people freaked out! Also Mae is adorable! Her big brown eyes!!
It’s mostly white people who think this is weird or “abuse”. Dear White People: it’s not.
Then why not pierce boys’ ears as well? Isn’t it weird how people so eagerly need to reinforce their baby’s gender?
I had my ears pierced when I was a baby. I later developed allergies and issues with my ears, not sure if related. But, yeah, I wish people stopped punching holes in little baby girls’ ears, it’s nasty.
That’s where I land on it. It’s a gender marker on a baby and wholly unnecessary. There’s enough of that already without piercing their flesh.
Gender marker is a good word for it! It’s nothing else in Hilary’s case. She did it to make the baby look cute and girly.
Yes, everyone is saying that “babies” get their ears pierced in their country and culture but it’s not babies, it’s girl babies. Girls have very different childhoods now then they did in the past. Sorry but this just seems sexist and limiting. I want my granddaughter to have a fun rough and tumble childhood playing team sports and not worrying about piercings or jewelry when she’s 5 years old. Duff also seems to want to start a fight about this. Everything you do doesn’t have to be put on social media. Her kid her choice, I’m just giving my personal 2 cents.
My sister got my nephews’ ears pierced when they were babies. It does happen.
I just think it is unnecessary. Babies are beautiful au naturale. I also cringe at bows on babies bald heads.
@Jezz – I’m with you that piercings are unnecessary, don’t agree babies are beautiful (do agree they’re necessary), but bows on bald babies is just plain weird.
My mom’s ears were pierced as a baby because that is the norm in the white, European country that her parents were from. And many members of my American family still pierce their babies’ ears. White people are not culturally monolithic. Conflating race with culture is no more accurate for white people than it is for Asians, Blacks, Latinx, or any other group.
White people do not experience racism in the ways that Black people or other people of color do though. As a group. If it’s “the norm in her (white European) country,” that’s completely different than preserving a marginalized cultural tradition as a form of indigenous expression and resistance against colonialism. It’s probably the norm in this conveniently unspecified country because of white Catholic or Protestant gender essentialism oppressing women.
Nothing in my comment implied that white people suffer racism or tried to create a false equivalence. Nor did I insult any marginalized groups. I simply pointed out that not all white people share the same attitudes or backgrounds, even in the same country.
My grandparents were born in Slovakia, which was then part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. My grandmother was an ethnic German. My grandfather was Slovak with some Hungarian ancestry. But he would have taken offense if you had called him Hungarian because the Hungarian aristoracy were viewed as feudal oppressors by the Slovaks in the 19th century. Is that specific enough for you?
I’ve always seen babies with pierced ears so it’s baffling to me that people consider it abuse or treating their child like a doll. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.
I don’t know. It’s a thing where I’m from too, and I remember being a kid and walking past a jewellery store where parents would bring their children to get their ears pierced – you could hear little girls in there screaming bloody murder, completely terrified. Every time I see a small child with pierced ears, I remember that sound and my parents talking sh*t about the Moms (it was usually Moms) in there so I may be *a bit* prejudiced here.
It’s very cultural I think.
I got my ear pierced at 14, and it was my choice.
I will do the same for my daughter, I will wait until/if she asks.
But it doesn’t bother me to see babies with ear pierced.
I’m white got mine pierced at 6. Most girls had them. My bff, also white, her mom refused. She never got them done.
I got more piercings in college and will probably get more haha. I love jewelry.
A hundred years from now this will not be considered ok. The baby can’t consent to this, the baby does feel pain from this, for weeks, plus there’s risk of infection or complications, though minor.
Yep, anyone saying there’s no pain is kidding themselves.
For me it’s not abuse, but it’s definitely disregarding consent. Girl babies don’t need pierced ears to be cuter, it’s a parental preference. And to me, that’s not okay. Bodily autonomy matters. Let the kid decide when/if she wants her ears pierced.
It’s a cultural thing. I wasn’t allowed to do it until I was around 15, but I remember babies from Latin America and other Spanish-speaking countries getting it done very young, in infancy. Then I met my sister-in-law (married to my husband’s brother), whose parents emigrated from Romania. She had it done as a baby too, and did her daughter’s. They’re Jewish, but I think it was more the Romanian influence as I don’t think most Ashkenazi Jews do it.
When my daughter was little, more and more people were piercing their girls’ ears young, so I went ahead and let her do it when she was 8. I figured she should get used to taking care of them, etc. She wanted to do it.
I don’t see a big issue with it. It’s really no one’s business. Just make sure they care for them properly.
That is an adorable baby.
I’ve had pierced ears as long as I can remember- one of my earliest memories is getting it done when I was about 3. While I probably wouldn’t pierce an infant’s ear, it’s certainly not child abuse. And like others have said, the holes close easily. Mine closed by the time I was 12, I had to re-open them.
I feel like this is one of those issues where many people sit back and think “people are offended by everything these days.”
And I’m on that side.
It would only be abuse if she never cared for the holes and they were repeatedly torn or infected.
Otherwise… why should “you” care?
Exactly! Why is anyone offended by something that literally has no impact on them and is in no way abusive?
I’m Indian and got mine pierced at 5 or 6, so I actually remember it, but don’t remember the pain lasting more than a second or two. It was not a traumatic experience. I would have appreciated getting them pierced as a baby because then I wouldn’t remember it at all. Piercing has been done by many cultures for centuries, and I imagine the outraged folks aren’t part of those cultures or have needle/pain anxiety themselves. People need to chill about infections too, salt water and regular cleaning is all you need.
It’s not a thing I would do, but it’s less than nothing.
I’ve had my ears pierced since I was 6 months old, I’ve got 4 girls now and I decided I would wait until they ask me before getting theirs done. Idk I feel weird about making decisions about body modifications without their consent but that’s just me. Different strokes as they say
It’s a common practice in the Mexican culture and if I would have had a daughter, I would have pierced her ears as a baby too. Sometimes there’s a true lack of cultural competency around topics like this one. As for Hilary, it’s obviously not a Mexican culture thing, but I see nothing wrong with this.
I have no opinion on it. However that is one cute baby.
It’s so deeply cultural. When I grew up, my parents wanted me to wait until I was 16 to decide if I wanted to do it since it was a “permanent modification to my body.” Once I decided to do it, they insisted I got it done by a doctor or nurse. (My mom is a pediatrician and she has seen so many infected piercings on teens and kids…) My daughter is 6 now. If she wanted to do it once she was 10 or 11, I’d let her. I want her to be the one to initiate a conversation about it though. She has never brought it up though so who knows.
I was 13 when I got my ears pierced. It was my decision and I even paid for it myself.
I don’t have kids, but I have two minds about it. On one hand, I remember how proud I was at 7 years old when I got my ears pierced after talking my parents into it. I think that body autonomy is important and that kids should know they’re in control of what happens to it.
On the other hand, I’m Latina. My abuela hated that me and my sister didn’t get our ears pierced as infants and was happy when as little girls we did it. The baby won’t remember the pain so it’s a kindness there in some ways.
If I had my own kid, I’d let them make the decision on their own. But I don’t fault any parent who does it to an infant, it isn’t abuse at all.
So many people talking about pain, didn’t you get your ears iced before doing it? You put an icecube or cold fruit on your earlobe for a minute or so, then you do it and don’t feel anything! I’ve repierced my on ears a few times, wish I’ve never stopped wearing earrings everytime I had to do it. Again, the pain is not an issue, what it’s bothersome for me is the process of moving the earring around a few times a day so it doesn’t stuck there.
“Ear holes close up very easily and most of the time without any evidence of it ever being there.”
Huh? Maybe I’m confused about what you’re saying bc I’m taking it as from a baby. Baby piercings are so well cared for and are in for so long that they never close.
I got one as a teenager though that closed overnight after a year of being pierced (it was my upper ear). So 🤷♀️.
I don’t think this is wrong nor do I think it’s right. It’s a personal choice. It’s ideal to let a person decide for themselves but at what age is someone old enough to make that decision? And it’s not as if tiny holes in an earlobe is going to get in the way of their life. So yeah, make the decision that’s right for you and yours and let others do the same.
She has really cute kids!
I’m a pediatrician and we have ear piercing kits. I don’t see the problem with it.
So I did have my child’s ears pierced as an infant because mine were done as an infant as well. I have an older sister, and the reason my mom had mine done so early was that once school aged, my sister begged for her ears to be pierced and when they were done hers got badly infected, she wouldn’t stop playing with them, and it was a huge production in terms of pain. My mom had a friend at the time who had her infants ears pierced and had said she’d had no issues and the baby slept right through it. My mom decided to avoid the issue that she had with my sister and pierced mine and I didn’t make a peep, was too young to play with them so no infections, and I always loved the fact that me ears were pierced.
Am I upset that I didn’t have the choice? No, maybe others would be, but from my perspective earrings are so easily taken out and then heal over with no real issue. My daughter is 9 now and is asking for her ears to be pierced a second time, she loves changing out her earrings, and has never been upset that I made that choice for her.
I think this is a matter of personal choice, and respect whatever decision people think is best for them and their family. If my daughter told me that she was upset that I had made the choice for her I would do what I can to support her feelings, we would take them out with no questions asked.
I was going to say something similar, ok its a choice that can be made but on the other hand, in terms of ear lobes, these are “use it or lose it” and you can let them heal if you simply never wear earrings. So in a way its “reversible” if the person changes their minds.
And it doesn’t even hurt t have it done. Its an odd sensation but not true pain.
–This doesn’t justify making the decision for them but honestly,
how many girls (or boys) DONT want to wear earrings eventually. Its very rare not to. Especially if mom or dad wears a lot of jewelry- the kids will want to emulate it.
So you have the choice of doing it when they are older and its more scary, or to do it when its an infant and it is less of a deal. It seems easier to opt for the latter.
Its nothing critical or mandatory, on the grand scheme of things, so waiting would be an easy solution, and let the kid “beg” (or not!) for the piercing and then the choice is entirely justified by all parties.
I got my ears pierced as a baby. It’s common in my parents’ culture. Although, I rarely wear ear rings now (I’ve gone years without wearing them) my holes never closed. So while, I don’t have a problem with it, and certainly don’t consider it to be abusive, it’s not necessarily true that the piercing will close on it’s own.
Someone mentioned upthread that piercings that are done on babies don’t close as easily, which makes sense.
I’m honestly shocked at how things are micro argued about these days.
If the kid is interested and goes along then ok, or studs until they are old enough to initiate the topic themselves.
I don’t know– do people not have enough to do? Are we that angry at our broken society that we have to take it out on each other and duke it out about earrings?
I think we need to spare these arguments for where it is truly needed– ie FGM and circumcision, which is entirely different than an ear lobe.
At least its my philosophy– pick your battles. Which one is more important? Let the little topics lie and focus on the real ones.
Yes!!
Agreed.
But why did she have to post this? For attention?
I understand if it’s part of a cultural thing to get your child’s ears pierced, but I don’t think it’s part of any religion or culture Hilary belongs to. And in such cases, I personally don’t agree with getting your daughter’s ears pierced before she can decided for herself. You’re putting holes in her body that won’t close up by the time she’s able to decide for herself.
I think basic ear piercing is not that big a deal. I told my kids when they got their ears pierced that any additional piercings would be on them to get. However, I’m from a place that pierces babies ears so this is a non issue for me.
You’re right, it’s not considered child abuse, because if it was I would call the police.
but, our cultural practices are not above criticism.
A neighbour once approached me and insisted that I pierce my daughter’s ears, because according to him babies do not feel pain. Okay people. Your right, there’s no law against it, so it’s your business whether you want to pierce your baby’s ears.
But i spend my time, energy and money trying to keep my baby safe, to make sure she is comfortable, comfort her when she cries, to instill in her a sense of self esteem, and confidence in her own body… but oh yeah.. in your family you pierce baby ears, so you want me to just throw my values out the window.
Hard no. And some day when the law does change, I will call the police on you when I see you piercing your baby’s ears.
Even medical professionals used to believe that infants did not feel pain. Weird fact.
Have they never seen a teething baby? Of course babies feel pain!
How about we stop judging every thing that people do that we don’t want to and then labeling it as abuse. If her daughter doesn’t like it she can let them close up when she’s older or she might add more. In any case, it’s not abuse. If you don’t want to do it to yourself or your child, don’t and keep your comments about other parents and their kids to yourself. I don’t have daughters but I would have waited until they asked, but that’s me.
Is this abusive? No, I don’t think so. As a new mom, there was already enough crying going on in the house to add more with piercing, lol. There are arguments for it, both pro and con. I asked to get mine pierced (had to wait till i was 12), and when my daughter asked me, I took her to get to Claire’s.
The only negative was watching a classmate RIP her earlobe in two accidentally in elementary school. That stuck with me for a long time- but I guess that just makes an argument against hoop earrings for young kids!
My mom had my first set done as a baby, and my second when I was in second grade. I wouldn’t change a thing, and if I had a daughter, I would do the same for her. There is no real controversy here.
I’m still not seeing the issue. My mother had mine pierced around the 8 month mark. But back then, pediatricians pierced them for us.
I wouldn’t trust a barely legal salesperson from Claire’s to do it though.
Hillary probably had a professional do them so, there you go.
I’m half Vietnamese and I’m married to a Greek and family both backgrounds have asked me to pierce my daughter’s ears. I don’t think its mutilation but I’m not interested in it because my daughter cries at shots and I’m sure she’s cry at the piercings. Plus like many have pointed out, it’s more work for me to keep clean and sanitary and then having to keep track of all the little earrings. Pass until she’s old enough to take care of it herself and asks for them.
Speaking as a girl who has had her ears pierced since she was an infant, I see nothing wrong with this.
Many cultures worldwide pierce their babies ears, even boys, and it’s not that big a deal. Seen many a baby with pierced ears and never give it a thought. Had my kids done later (@5) but that’s because I never got around to it sooner. Why is this even a thing worth talking about?
Hilary is from a Southern Republican family and most likely a Trumper. Their “culture” as suggested above is such re women.
She’s also a lazy, privileged and spoiled person. That’s my issue with her. I don’t care to shame anyone over their parenting choices unless it’s actual abuse or endangerment.
@WITHTHEAMERICAN
why do you call her lazy?
On what base.
I’m curious can you please explain.
If we did take this completely out of a norm context and said… human girl babies, when infants, have bejeweled metal bars put through their ears to signify femininity, whilst boy babies do not. Does that not seem strange and a bit cruel? In my opinion, parents are there to love their babies for who they are without trying to change their appearance or force them to follow gender norms. Let’s face it, adornment on women is connected to being considered a valuable object.
I respect your opinion, as long as you use your opinion for yourself and your child and you leave other people alone. I don’t care what you think when it comes to how I look or how I choose to dress my children, just as you shouldn’t care what I think about yourself and your children. If more people got it through their heads that someone’s appearance is not their business/not up for discussion, the world would be a little bit better.
@ Think
I totally agree with you. Why does a baby need her ears pierced anyways? To look cuter ? I don’t get it. Let her decide when she’s older if she wants holes in her ears or not. I bet if someone decided to get their baby’s nose pierced, there would be an uproar. What is the difference? Both are body parts.
Why do you care what someone who you don’t even know does with their kids ears? Why are we so self-righteous that we have to judge and make comments on this? It affects no one but HER child and she gets to make that decision. We make a big deal and like to clutch our pearls about too many things that don’t really matter.
@MelOn
You have no issue speaking your mind, others have the right to speak theirs too then don’t they? I’m not telling anyone what to do. I’m talking about my own personal opinion.
I didn’t pierce my girls ears till they wanted. They were all like 7 or 8 but I have friends and family who had their kids ears done when they were around the same age as Hillary’s daughters so no judgement here. I think it’s preference for some. As for me, I never gave it a thought one way or another with my girls till they asked for it.
Also their ears were done at Claire’s. Remember them? Never had a problem with infection or anything
I had MY ears pierced by my cousin who was CLEARLY not trained. She used an ice cube and clothes pin to numb my ears, alcohol to sterilize the needle and string till I could put earrings in. How old school is THAT???
(p.s. no infection either cuz my Mama was hyper vigilant about me keeping them clean)
I don’t think it’s up there with circumcision in terms of abuse/mutilation, but it’s not something I would choose for my kid. Seems like too much risk for infection or injury if the earring snags on something and pulls.
That’s what came to my mind too. Circumcision is really on another level. I don’t have children and won’t have any. I’d like to think I would have waited until the kid is old enough if s/he/they wanted their ears pierced. Mine aren’t. Neither are my mom’s or my sister’s. I guess it is just not a thing in our family. But people wondered over the years and told me that I am one of the few women they know who did’t get her ears pierced. I don’t think it is that uncommon where I am from (Western Europe). When I was in my twenties, my Reiki teacher told me not to pierce my ears as it might harm some energy channels or meridians or sth. I forgot the exact term. I even don’t wear jewelry. Even though I buy it and think it looks pretty, when I actually wear it it feels as though my body doesn’t want or need it. It feels foreign.
It’s totally fine. I’m white and my mom had them pierced early too. We lived in Key West and everybody did it.
Yikes already 267889 comments
I will NEVER understand the mom shaming for most things but especially this…. Btw she makes the cutest kids! Also like you said this is cultural for many and ppl are at best being culturally insensitive to claim this as abuse or mutation ugh.
I only wish my parents pierced my ears as a baby. I’m very scared of pain to get it older and I regret they didn’t. Even if a kid decides to not want ear holes they close up 🤪🤪🤪 this is like letting her kids get temp tattoos NO BIG DEAL. The psycho shamers need a padded room.
This kind of disgusting tripe minimizes and distorts REAL abuse! Gross.
Go Hilary! I just have to say I see her IG pics etc of her sweet family and always admired her as a person, actress, and now a mom, she grew up as the “model” child star and I’m sure it was not easy but her parents must be so proud of how she has stayed herself and thrived in such a toxic tbh industry where it is very easy to get into bad situations. I grew up with her on Disney and I remember how she was the anti Lohan at the time and the media made it seem like a bad thing; she was a kid and always knew she wouldn’t stray from staying true to herself but we all know the industry can change people so I’m glad there exists people that can fight through that. Also I really admired how she acts with her ex and maintaining good parenting relationship and not in a creepy way like some “goopy” couples. She’s always seemed way too normal for hollyweird. I admire her as someone in my age group and I can probably say that about celebs using one hand.
In my home country and back in the 80s it used to be a customary practice to pierce the girl’s newborn ears. I got mine done at home. The left one isn’t straight and I struggle to put earrings on that one which I rarely do. I guess it was painful enough for me to protest and move and the perforation was not well done. Turns out infants can feel pain too.
When my daughter was born we received a pair of pendants along with lots of comments about piercing her ears for her to look cute.
4 years later later the earrings still remain in the box, brand new and we just didn’t care enough to bother with them. My daughter will have plenty of years to decide if she wants to have them and go to an appropriate place to pierce her ears.
Personal opinion. I have an 18 month old and strongly believe that piercing a baby’s ears is barbaric. Culturally it is also quite prevalent in my own background but that doesn’t mean that it’s right. I also wanted pierced ears when I was a little girl. Thankfully, my mother had the same opinion that I have now on the subject and waited till I was 10 or 11 until she let me do it. I’m sure many disagree with me but it just feels wrong to punch holes in a baby’s ear. Should she want to get them pierced when she’s older then I will let her do it. It should come from her. It’s her body, her decision. Definitely not mine.
I agree with you! Kids can decide for themselves on a later age if they want to have their ears pierced or not.
I’m dutch, was born into a non religious family and my mom had my ears pierced when I was 3 months old. Maybe it was more of a big thing back in the late 70’s, early 80’s? Anyhoo, she could have saved herself the money because as I got older I never wanted to wear earrings anymore.