Personally, I’m still not over Chris Pratt’s ridiculous Instagram post about his wife, back in November. Chris has been married to Katherine Schwarzenegger for a few years, they have a daughter together and Pratt seems to believe that Katherine is great because she looks at him adoringly and “her heart is pure and it belongs to me.” Oh, and don’t forget that Pratt loves Katherine because she GAVE him “a gorgeous healthy daughter.” His son, Jack, with Anna Faris has special needs, so the comment felt especially pointed. There isn’t a GTFO big enough. But Chris Pratt is trying it once again, aiming for folksy and MAGA-lite and very churchy. Katherine’s birthday was the 13th, and this is what Pratt posted:
Happy Birthday Honey!
You are such a wonderful wife, mother, step-mother, and life partner. I simply can’t imagine how lost I’d be without you. You’re beautiful, tough as nails, reasonable, deeply thoughtful, extraordinarily smart, you’re a complete boss, eternally driven and you communicate like no other. Thank you for everything. Thank you for being so instrumental in my growth over the past few years. We fit so perfectly into each other’s lives that our Union is a daily reminder that God is looking out for us.
Navigating the odd circumstances of our world is a task I cannot handle alone. And I’m so grateful I don’t have to. Your commitment to helping others is contagious. I’m just so grateful for the harmony you continually bring to our household. I love you so much honey. Happy Birthday!
I hope to one day receive thanks for bringing harmony to a “household.” Yikes!! He’s talking about her like she’s a very well-liked staff member. I think I know what happened. Chris saw the (well-deserved) backlash he got for the November post, so he kept double-checking and rewriting this message, with the goal of trying to make Katherine sound amazing. The problem is that Pratt fundamentally thinks Katherine is amazing because she goes to church and she stays home with the baby and that’s it. Plus, he’s talking like they’re in marriage counseling at their church, which… might be the case.
Photos courtesy of Chris Pratt’s Instagram.