Robert Pattinson: It’s ‘an insane thing to do: The only way I can live is to dress up as a bat’

When Robert Pattinson was cast in The Batman, I knew that the interviews and promotion for the film would be amazing. And in just one magazine interview, Pattinson completely delivered. Rob covers the March issue of GQ, and this interview is hysterically funny. I don’t believe Rob has ever gotten enough credit for just how hilarious, wry, weird and charming he is in real life. Like, he’s a complete weirdo with an angel face. It’s strange that someone this attractive has such a great personality, and that he’s got such a terrifically dry, absurdist sense of humor. Anyway, all of that to say, this GQ interview is hysterical. If you have 20 minutes, go and read the whole thing and you’ll laugh-cry. Some highlights:

A large man: “A lot of Batman fans are like, He’s tiny, he’s tiny! I’m not f–king tiny! I’m, like, a large person. About half the time, I’m trying to get skinnier.”

He’s constantly second-guessing his master plan for his career: “I’m constantly doing risk assessments, which drives everybody crazy, trying to predict every single element that could possibly happen. And then, at the end of it, just being like: Ah, f–k it! I’ll just play a lighthouse keeper who f–ks a mermaid! I think this is the right move!”

His nihilistic Batman: “Normally, in all the other movies, Bruce goes away, trains, and returns to Gotham believing in himself, thinking, I’m gonna change things here. But in this, it’s sort of implied that he’s had a bit of a breakdown. But this thing he’s doing, it’s not even working. Like, it’s two years into it, and the crime has gotten worse since Bruce started being Batman. The people of Gotham think that he’s just another symptom of how sh-t everything is. There’s this scene where he’s beating everyone up on this train platform, and I just love that there’s a bit in the script where the guy he’s saving is also just like: Ahh! It’s worse! You’re either being mugged by some gang members, or a monster comes and, like, f–king beats everybody up! The guy has no idea that Batman’s come to save him. It just looks like this werewolf.”

Bruce Wayne creates Batman because Bruce had a breakdown: “All the other stories say the death of his parents is why Bruce becomes Batman, but I was trying to break that down in what I thought was a real way, instead of trying to rationalize it. He’s created this intricate construction for years and years and years, which has culminated in this Batman persona. But it’s not like a healthy thing that he’s done.” It’s like an extended crack-up. “Almost like a drug addiction,” he says. There’s a moment when Alfred asks Bruce what his family would think of him tarnishing the family legacy with his new side hustle. “And Bruce says: ‘This is my family legacy. If I don’t do this, then there’s nothing else for me.’ I always read that as not like, ‘There’s nothing else,’ like, ‘I don’t have a purpose.’ But like: ‘I’m checking out.’ And I think that makes it a lot sadder. Like, it’s a sad movie. It’s kind of about him trying to find some element of hope, in himself, and not just the city. Normally, Bruce never questions his own ability; he questions the city’s ability to change. But I mean, it’s kind of such an insane thing to do: The only way I can live is to dress up as a bat.”

He loves masks: “It’s funny with all these anti-mask things, because I’m like, I will be wearing a mask for the rest of my life. I think I’ve gained a few years of life from lack of stress. It’s ideal when everyone else is wearing one as well, so it’s not like I’m standing out. It’s incredible.”

He romanticizes his friend’s soccer fandom: “There’s just something so lovely about having something every single Sunday, where it’s like, This is what I’m doing. Rather than just, when anybody asks me, What are your hobbies? I’m like: F–king fretting. Worrying about the future.”

Ageing, potential fatherhood: “Eventually, I’m probably gonna have a child. So I’ve started training myself so that I can be somewhat…so that I can play soccer with a three-year-old.” He feels himself getting older by the instant. “Thirty-five was definitely the year when things changed. I really stretched out my adolescence to about 34…”

[From GQ]

I wonder if he is thinking about fatherhood more these days. He’s been with Suki Waterhouse for years now, I think. They live together, they seem very happy together, it seems uncomplicated. Hm. As for the rest of it… from the word go, this was hysterically funny. The idea that Batman f–ks up Gotham for two years and everyone hates him…perfecto!! The bummer take on “it’s kind of such an insane thing to do: The only way I can live is to dress up as a bat,” it’s all amazing.

There are several sections about his genuine hobbies too, and one of them is…chairs. He designs chairs in miniature, by hand/clay sculpture, sends photos to a furniture maker and they bring him what he designs. He takes a lot of photos of chairs. It’s his thing. He’s obsessed with chairs.

Covers and photos courtesy of GQ.

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18 Responses to “Robert Pattinson: It’s ‘an insane thing to do: The only way I can live is to dress up as a bat’”

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  1. mia girl says:

    I loved everything about the interview. The photos are so great too.

    Watched the full video as well and it’s just so refreshing to see an actor at the top of his game be so open and funny vs pretentious and up their own a** about their craft. And he seems genuinely grateful for his success.

    Never change Robert Pattinson!

    • Noo says:

      Just have to say how much I am delighting in the multi faceted joy for R Patz in these comments. It is very soothing and sweet to read. I hope more people who stan the man will add comments there are so few truly nice and kind things to enjoy RN!

  2. whatWHAT? says:

    just love this guy. gorgeous, charming and yes, FUNNY.

    if you’ve ever seen him do the “Bothered” sketch with Jimmy Fallon (from his Twilight days), you’ll see what a good sense of humor he has and that he DOES. NOT. take himself too seriously.

    plus, that story from that movie where he played a French king and was jealous of one of the actresses’ wigs and was like “HEY, I want a pretty wig for my character, too!” dude is silly and so likeable.

  3. Rachel says:

    I truly, thoroughly appreciate him. I will not claim at all that our British friends and neighbours have a claim to absurdist, self-deprecating humour. But I was raised on Monty Python…from like, toddler-hood. So there’s something to that in the culture. I read the interview and it’s delightful. Thanks for featuring it!

    • Mabs A'Mabbin says:

      I was raised on MP as well lol. My family is self-deprecating AF. Actually it’s most likely huge character flaws at this point. I totally get his hobby too. I worry about everything. All the time. When all the shoes on the planet are going to drop at once. I’m crazy.

  4. CB says:

    I just don’t get the appeal, I don’t think he’s funny or particularly charming. He’s a good actor but he doesn’t excite me and he doesn’t say much with any meaning.
    Also, he deffo looks like one of the celebrities that would not wash everyday.

  5. Renee' says:

    I absolutely love this guy! I would watch him read the phone book (an old reference I know). I think he’s an underrated actor and love his eccentric choices. I am not into comic book movies at all but will definitely see this Batman.

  6. mj says:

    He can do no wrong in my book. He’s a delight. I was one of those tedious Twilight fangirls back in the day and I’ve rooted for him ever since. It’s so good to see him successful and still a giant weirdo.

  7. L84Tea says:

    What I love about him is he’s always been this way, even back when Twilight hit and everyone made fun of him. He made fun of himself more than anybody else. I totally dig his dry humor.

  8. tatannelise says:

    Now I really want to see him make a movie in which he’s a lighthouse keeper banging a mermaid.

    • mia girl says:

      You are in luck! He did make that movie. It’s a psychological drama/horror film called The Lighthouse and he plays opposite Willem Dafoe.

  9. Erin says:

    Hard agree on the mask thing. I’ve been saying this for a while.

  10. Sudie says:

    Loved this interview and photo shoot. Rob is never boring and doesn’t mind showing both his ying and yang side. And as GQ said in it’s opening statement….”he’s an exceptionally handsome man” which makes his weirdo vibe even more charming. I don’t usually like superhero movies but I will make plans to see The Batman, it looks and feels different than all the others before.

  11. Sof says:

    The superhero saving people and them thinking he is a sort of villain… isn’t that what happens in Spiderman?
    I’m intrigued by the premises of this movie, a Batman that’s still learning.
    I love Rob’s interviews too, never understood why he gets so much hate. He is funny and it’s great when an actor answers questions with honesty and not a PR rehearsed thing like most do.

  12. Remy says:

    I’ve never seen twilight. I’ve only seen him in Harry Potter and oddly enough, the lighthouse movie where he f@cks a mermaid. Lol. I will see Batman though, probably not in theaters.

    Anyways, I agree with him about mask. I love wearing them. And i often forget that I’m wearing one.

  13. Anname says:

    Oh I have missed promo Rob. His humor does not always translate perfectly into print (cue angry fanboys), but I am looking forward to all the videos interviews coming this month.

    It’s been fun to watch his growth since he was a 21 yr old kid, trying not to drown in the Twilight craziness. He never fails to entertain me.

  14. Anony83 says:

    To this day I appreciate the way he handled the end of his relationship with Kristen and his relationships going forward.

    Also, if you ever want real humor, watch his commentary on the Twilight movies. Seriously.