Nick Cannon was a guest on Dr. Laura Berman’s podcast. Nick got flustered when Dr. Berman asked how many children he has with how many women. Nick, 41, has had seven children with four different women, aged seven months to 10 years, and is expecting his eighth child with a different woman. He sadly lost his infant son, Zen, last year. On Dr. Berman’s show, Nick got incredibly candid about his process of choosing new women to father children with and about his reasoning for having so many children. It was a lot. Here’s some of what he said and the video is here. It gets explicit, especially around minute 20, so don’t listen to it around kids.
He was told about oxytocin and asked about celibacy
I’ve always heard this rumor. ‘Dickmatized’ is what it’s called. I was told to withhold [sex by my therapist]. It got to the space where it wasn’t healthy. A lot of people [asked] ‘is it me, is it our connection?’He was asked if he could have sex with a non-baby mama
Then they want to become my baby mama too. When it comes to hygiene I am the biggest germ freak. I will put on two condoms if I don’t know you. I get my blood taken every three weeks. I want to know all of the panels.On how he gets new baby mamas [my words]
We start with condoms and this woman is like ‘oh my god there’s a connection.’ We’ve been doing this protected thing for three to six months. Then life happens, you start spending the night at people’s houses, taking showers together. The condom is way in the other room. If I’ve gotten to this point where I can take off this condom then I can say she can be the mother of my child.On if his baby mamas are allowed to see other people
I feel like if I’m not fulfilling you and there’s a void in your life feel free to go. There’s a natural cause and effect. If I believe that you are solely for me as soon as I know that there’s someone else, I’m going [to] pull back. If I buy a house and you have another man in your life, that house needs to now become you and that man’s house. It’s no longer my house, however [financially] that has to happen.I don’t want you with me just because of my money.
He calls himself single, doesn’t call himself polyamorous and says monogamy is not healthy
To define me is to confine me. Married is not single. I don’t feel like monogamy is healthy. I feel like that gets into the space of selfishness and ownership.He’ll stop having kids at 45 [he’s 41]
They said once a man turns 45 you probably should chill. They make you check a questionnaire, when you are having children, ‘Is the father over 45?’ I’ve created this 45-year-old mark that I’ve got to stop.
[From Dr. Laura Berman on YouTube via Yahoo]
So Nick Cannon wants a harem of women to have his babies and he’s willing to pay for their homes and support them as long as he’s the only man in their lives. He said this in a nice way, like this was their choice, but it’s still financial control. If they get another boyfriend or are seeing someone on the side, he stops paying for the homes he’s bought them. Does he continue to support his children? He tries to make it all sound very reasonable and like he’s a “good guy” but look at what he’s doing. He has multiple partners and says monogamy “gets into the space of ownership” but if his children’s mothers have another partner he no longer supports them. I’m making that conclusion based on his comments about no longer paying for their homes, but that’s what he’s saying, right?
I said this before: Nick Cannon is a Hotep. And this proves it. Along with a bunch of other backwards $h*t he’s said over the years.
…and he’s shameless about it. Like his dad.
Not how child support works. He has legal obligations to the child & not the mother. He pays until each child is 18 regardless of the dating life of the child’s mother.
He is a piece of crap and so full of it. I’ve always thought about this and the more he talks about his situation, the more disgusting he comes across. Monogamy is about selfishness and ownership but the mothers of your children aren’t allowed to see other men although you’re free to have unprotected sex with as many women as you feel like? If they see other men, you stop helping out financially? Did he forget that they’re still the mothers of his kids? This shows that he doesnt care about the kids, he only cares about looking as if he does.
Child support must be paid to support your children!
What are these women he is having all these kids with thinking?
He clearly is not interested in a relationship, why would you think he was going to be a stable Father?
He has 8 kids with 6 or 7 different women, he is not The One.
“But we have a connection,” said all of them. (Rolls eyes)
At least we know how his baby mama’s feel and every other woman who has been with him feels, dickmatized. But I think if we just call him a dick, it’s perfectly fine as well.
NC in one piece of garbage spreading his seeds everywhere.
Every child that he has will inevitably grow up with some serious emotional relationship and sexual issues.
The women knew the deal. He’s said before he lays it all out. Contracts are signed. It’s abuse and controlling and they agree thinking it couldn’t be that bad. They get a child and a payout for almost 2 decades.
Nick has always been upfront about who he is and what his mission in life is and why. Anyone that signs on to that is on their own imo. Play by the rules or face his consequences.
Is it right? Absolutely not. Is it what they foolishly agreed to? Unfortunately, yes.
I am so stealing dickmatized. Bwahahaha.
I don’t believe for one minute that he doesn’t say to these women that he loves them, and that they might be the one. He wants them dependent upon him, and he wants to control them. He just had five children in less than two years, he is saying something to make this happen, and it certainly isn’t, ‘by the way, I have two other women pregnant right now.”
Monogamy doesn’t work for him but expects it to work for the women in his “harem”. It’s just the same old bs.
I feel like these comments just confirm that it was always some weird control fetish for him. He wants a harem and the ability to financially control numerous beautiful women by weaponizing his children.
And that’s before we even get to the colorism. Nick Cannon will not make a baby with a woman if he can easily detect blackness in her skin, hair and features.
Ding ding ding! These comments are such gross old-school patriarchy, I feel l need a shower.
So monogamy is unnatural but he demands it of women? What were we saying on another thread that some women are drawn to horrible men? The most misogynist the better?
I honestly can really see the appeal, and it’s just about the opposite of misogyny.
I think A LOT of straight women are coming to realize that they do not want to be in a full time relationship with a man, any man. I’ve never seen that talked about in the media, never seen an article on it, but most of the women I know do not want a full time relationship, and it’s a real thing and a phenomenon. You can go on Tinder and get 100 matches in an hour and find you don’t really want to talk to or meet up with any of them.
A lot of women do not want to live with a man, have to pick up a man’s dirty crusty underwear, have a man expect you to cook for him and have him eat all your food, deal with his mess, his farts, his bad smells, his crappy attitude, his wants, his “needs,” his moods, his ways of spending money, his opinions, his sexual expectations, his grabby hands, and his relatives.
For a lot of women (please carefully note, I’m not talking about all women, just some) but for a lot of women, they don’t want to have sex every day, they’d like some good dick a couple times a month and then be left alone the rest of the time.
I do not want a full time husband/father/life partner thing, but I would love to co-parent with a man who did not live with me. I could certainly raise a child as a completely single parent, but I’d prefer to have that extra backup and security that came with a co-parent. Not only the extra money but just someone who could always be there in an emergency, someone who would have their own parenting time to give me a break.
The knowledge that there would be other women, the mothers of my child’s siblings, would be a big plus. It would be that added built-in village/community and extra sense of security, without the obligations and demands that typically come from relatives.
I do like the idea, in fact I love it. I’d actually be quite interested in an arrangement like this. I can absolutely see why these women want to go for it, if they want children but don’t really want a full-time relationship with a man.
A lot of women put an acceptable societal patina on what you outlined, marry , neglect the relationship especially after the child, so the it’s okay to separate or divorce.
@rose, THIS!!! ALL THIS! I do NOT want a full time man ever again but I also don’t wanna date or be with multiple people. I’m not saying Nick is “right”…but I can see the perspective of the women.
I would love to find a man who wants to have sex regularly, everyday or at least 3 times per week. I have found though that most men don’t have the stamina for that or the sex drive or equipment issues as they age. I was very unfulfilled in my last relationship because he could only manage once every 2 weeks or so. I have become to think it is a magical unicorn to find a guy like that. I am 40 and the guys I dated who wanted sex regularly were either sex addicts or turned into abusive/controlling men. I’d love to find someone who was that into me without all the bad stuff. But again, I think we falsely think most men are like NC and they simply arent. Most men are not wanting sex as much as most women arent wanting it, I find.
Rose, I think you are absolutely right. Many women are financially independent and so their partners really need to bring something to the table in order to be necessary. Many men never got the memo and still expect their wives to fully perform the duties of both a working woman and a stay at home wife/mom. Having a co-parent is nice, but having your partner be just another child is not
Came to say I agree with Andrea. The mismatch in sex drive between women in their 40s and men in their 40s is real. I wish this was talked about more and I wish that it was something I was prepared for. It’s such a disservice to perpetuate a stereotype that all men want is sex. That the go after it all the time- it’s a shock when that isn’t the case.
Rose, this is so on point. This describes me 100% and a lot of other professional women I know. Now that I’m older and have been through a few relationships, I realize I’d rather not be bothered.
Rose I totally agree with you.
Some women want exactly that
I’d buy that if they were free to see other guys too, but this is something else! A part time guy for as long as he feels like it only.
Rose-I’m married and this is exactly how I feel! If I ever get divorced I’ll never remarry or even live with a partner. I’ve been in the relationship world for 25 years, and I’m tired of dealing with men, period. I want my own space and my own time and don’t want to be hounded to have sex 24/7, I’m over it. So I can definitely see the appeal here for women, lol. I’d be happy to only deal with my husband a few days a month, sign me up.
@Rose, this is exactly me. I am married but my husband and I might as well be co-parenting under the same roof. We have not being intimate for over 4yrs and before that it was like twice a year. We had our second child via IVF.
I have been very unhappy for the last 4yr because he brought his mother from Afica to live with us in the pretext of hospital treatment 4yrs ago and refused to send her back home after she got better. I haven’t seen my parents since we got married in 2008. They live in Africa too. He couldn’t be bothered to even speak with them yet he has shoved his mother down my throat for years now. She’s taken over our kitchen and refrigerator it’s unbelievable. No matter how much I protest, him and his family do not care.
He has the financial advantage because I am currently an unemployed full-time student, but my plan is to graduate get a job and move out of the house while we still co-parent. I just want to be happy. I have no interest in men or sex. I just want my own space. I look forward to the day I can tell him I am moving out.
There’s a lot of truth to what you’re saying but that means you date someone who goes home. Not be part of a harem with someone who sees himself as community dick while he slaps a financial chastity belt on you.
Ladies he’s saying you’re not allowed to have sex with anyone but him. You may not want a man around but we are still very sexual beings. Casual hookups are easier and more socially acceptable than ever and he’s denying women that pleasure, while he himself gets to have sex with whom ever he desires. More over, he expects them to be sexually available to him on demand. If you’re not perceiving this as misogyny and the total denial of women as sexual beings, I don’t know what else we can do to illustrate that misogyny is a real and pervasive problem. I would never give up my right to express myself sexually when and how I want.
Bettyrose, you’re projecting yourself onto others. YOU identify as a very sexual being and YOU want to have casual hookups and find them pleasurable.
For ME, and I am certain, for many others, casual hookups are the exact opposite of pleasurable.
If this arrangement wouldn’t work for a woman she shouldn’t enter into it. If it would require her to deny part of herself or the way she identifies, she shouldn’t enter into it.
For me, this arrangement would be extremely compatible with my desires AND, I should note, the part of my self that society is always telling me is WRONG. The part where I don’t want to live with a man or have sex more than the few times a month I want it.
Rose – So when you watch Sister Wives you’re like dayum this is the life? To each their own I suppose. But I’ve been in a committed relationship for many years. I’m not saying casual hookups are the end all be all. I’m saying if a woman doesn’t want a man around that’s fine. But being told she *also* can’t have her sexual needs fulfilled is twisted. You’re claiming some women don’t have sexual needs and maybe that’s true but it’s definitely the brainwashing of the patriarchy that women’s sexual needs don’t matter. Even Christine Brown, formerly docile wife and far from a feminist icon, drew the line at not have sex.
Too late to edit but the world is full of single women/mothers (my own included during my childhood) who don’t have a man in the house and may or may not be having regular sex. That’s an entirely different scenario than living by a man’s rules, which is what is happening here. These women are surrendering independence and bodily autonomy, exactly the same as in Sister Wives. I just can’t fathom thinking this is okay or conflating it with being single.
This is a super interesting thread. I see your point Rose. But I guess it all depends on how it plays out. Like what if the days each month you are horny (for me and probably many women it’s when ovulating) are when he’s with one of his other women and he’s not available to spend time with you? Seems like a good setup for jealousy and feeling not special or prioritized enough – especially since he’s making it sound like they all have connections and it’s not just a sex without feelings situation. What if he comes around when you are pms’ing and you’re grumpy and not in the mood. Do you feel like you have to be available whenever he wants it or else he’s going to pull away (his words) and possibly cut off financial support? Maybe it’s not like that, but I think it would take a lot of emotional maturity for everyone to be upfront about expectations and their needs to make this situation as enlightened and modern as he is trying to make it sound.
I completely agree with Bettyrose, while acknowledging the substance of what Rose is saying here.
This conversation has identified two different issues: we, as women and as a society, need to have a conversation about the different types of relationships that could work for different types of women. Establishing a non-committed, polyamorous relationship with a man (even if you’re not interested in having other partners) is a valid arrangement. It can be open, honest and healthy.
However, that is not what Nick Cannon is describing here. He is describing himself as being polyamorous while financially controlling the relationship options of his partners. This is in no way healthy, even if the women are aware of the relationship setup initially. Things change dramatically once you have a kid as far as what your needs are and what you can tolerate/support in your world. Also, what you think you want or can handle prior to becoming a mother may all go out of the window. Being limited in the options to change the rules of the relationship without facing financial hardship is abuse. Period.
I don’t know the thread you’re referencing, but agree partly. It’s less the misogyny imo and more the wealth. Even here he lays out that if they have his children he will be the only man and they will get financial support always.
@Wiglet – If this is in response to me, the other thread I meant was the Tinder Swindler update post.
He’s only obligated to financially support his kids. The baby mama’s are not ex-wives, therefore no spousal support. These women knew what they were getting into when they decided to have a baby with him. They must have agreed to the stipulations. He seems pretty honest and upfront about what he wants/needs. I don’t agree with his lifestyle at all…but these are all consenting adults.
Yeah but the women who are still dating Simon Leviev and the women who voted for Trump are also consenting adults. It all needs to be questioned as to what are the societal influences that encourage women to be drawn to men who don’t respect women.
Completely agree with the points you are making here and above Bettyrose.
@Bettyrose
I agree w you! I can’t believe people are justifying his behavior. He is controlling women w money and his sex to the exclusion of anyone else. That is not a healthy relationship. That is not the same as being single and living by yourself while in a sexual relationship w someone. Nick is controlling his women with this arrangement. I hope they realize the difference!
I agree with all of your points. It’s a gross double standard that he gets to have sex with all of these women plus any new women he wants whenever he wants but the women can only sleep with him. I would not be into this at all.
This man is going to keep having children and will run out of money, I don’t care how much he has, he’s the type of person who will go broke. I hope all of these women are getting their bookkeeping degrees or IT certifications right now on his dime so that they will be able to support themselves and their children in the future (because they will need to.)
And the type of person who would want Nick Cannon as the father for their child? Should also be seeing a therapist.
Why doesn’t he just build a compound or a bunch of houses on the same street a la Kody Brown. At least we know he’ll only procreate for four more years.
That’s what his situation reminds me of, This dude watched Big Love and thought it seemed like a good idea.
That’s because this is exactly the same thing. For efficiency he skipped the part of inventing a cult that tells women they’ll live in outer darkness for eternity if they don’t stay sweet, but it’s the same concept.
Uhm, he doesn’t want them around him, and they perhaps don’t want to be around him or his other women and children. Look, this is some straight controlling weirdness but they all agree to it so…….
If he’s telling the whole world all of this, then the baby mamas must have been told, too. It sounds like a harem, but the women were free to not enter into this transaction. I don’t follow him much – have any of the women objected to this arrangement?
This sounds so gross and culty/sisterwifey. The man can have sex with whomever he wants but the women must save themselves for him? Why does he even tell people about this, he’s going to end up turning people off from hiring him and he has a lot of dependents now.
He should have just left it at, “All my children were created out of love with women I was in relationships with at the time. Each child receives my love and support.”
Why is he saying so much more? It’s completely creepy and controlling. Just stop talking! No one besides these women and children need to know the details!
We’re all missing the other brag that he must be spectacular in bed because the ‘women are dickmatized’! Is it a part of the contract to talk about how good he is in bed? Do they have to stroke his ego too?
Gross. Need a shower after reading that nonsense.
I knew as soon as he said monogamy is not healthy that he meant it was only for him, not the women. Basically, he is a selfish f*ck that wants a harem. He will be in for a surprise when a judge disagrees with his financial withholding decisions.
I have always disliked him but now I feel a little more justified in my dislike
Correct. Is financial control which I do believe his baby mamas knows and I think they are okay with that. I think someone of them use their baby with him as a income support and he knows that that is why he makes those conditions.
But what I also see that he contradicts himself that he said he doesn’t want them to be with him for his money because is very obvious their situation is more than just money for the baby.
I think he is a monogamy person but Mariah has moved on.
As much as i think this arrangement is gross he’s upfront about it. As a father you are not obligated to provide extras like a house, so as long as he provides child support he is still within his legal means.
I can’t imagine how awkward those kid bday parties are though. Think of all the side eyes those women give to one another. I hope Mariah writes a song about it one day!
This man is delusional.
Not sure who is more delusional: Nick who has a harem of baby mommas, or the women, who know the rules and still are willing to have his children.
Are there a bunch of incels cosplaying women/pick me women here because how else do you explain away monogamy not being healthy for Nick, but him demanding it of the women he impregnates? He uses a power imbalance to his advantage. That’s not honest and healthy. It’s him being a controlling creep with a cheering section.
I’m not surprised the “It’s child support, not mom support” crew is all in for this.
This is how Hugh Heffner was able to pull the same hypocritical crap with his “girlfriends” and be celebrated for it.
I don’t believe monogamy is natural but this is far beyond not believing in monogamy. There are many many children involved and he’s essentially just using and objectifying these women.
Ugh gross.
Read my post again and tell me if you think it was sincerely written by an incel instead of a real life grown woman. My point is, although I am heterosexual, I most decidedly don’t wish to have a man around full-time. My desire for a man is a very very small percentage of the month. Being around men, especially living with one, is something I prefer not to do most of the time. If a guy told me he wants to co-parent a child with me, and buy us a house, and I’ll only see him a couple times a month, that’s something I would pay to be on a waiting list for. If he agrees to this under the condition that I’m not seeing anyone else? Don’t threaten me with a good time. My whole point is that I don’t want to have a full time man around so for someone like me, that would work. It works if it’s the situation everyone wants the most and for me, it would be.
Ok, but do you really think he is doing anything remotely like coparenting? Really? Paying for things is not coparenting. He doesn’t at all seem like he is involved in the lives of those 8 children. It’s incredibly selfish and he seems to enjoy the imbalance.
I appreciate your perspective Rose but I can’t help to see the shortcomings of this arrangement in regards to parenting. Nick can’t be in multiple places at once and if each child has an emergency which requires his physical presence then what? I would like my partner to be emotionally available to our child full time/full stop. Emergency or no emergency.
What woman would put up with this?
Gross. Of course he can bang as many chicks as he wants but once they get some action from a new d*** they are cut off. Classic jealous, insecure man. I guess these women knew the deal and wanted that $$$ but yuck.
It’s disgusting. He controls them with money and actually thinks they want him and are into him.
Wow, that is absolute bullshit. I didn’t know he stops supporting them if they decide to drop him and get another man. Legally, I believe he still must pay child support and probably pay for the homes because any smart attorney will compare the children’s homes to each other, Nick’s house and possibly Mariah Carey’s. One set of kids can’t live rich and another poor. The courts have consistently said this. I’m really disappointed in him, because I have always liked him, despite this foolishness. So did he stop paying for Zen’s mother’s house because the baby died? Does he have the harem under surveillance for other male company? Just wow. What a pig he is.
You know, I consider myself pretty open minded, but this is just gross. Yeah, none of my business or whatever, but it sounds so controlling and one-sided. He sounds unwell.
I wish the term pick me would die a sudden death. The term has been misused and overused for the past 2- to 3 years. Bottom line is that Nick Cannon and these women are in relationships that work for them. I know a lot of women who describe this type of relationship without realizing that’s what it is and usually with bum dudes. Basically, a lot of women don’t mind “sharing” the dude if it’s on the up and up and they know the other women and they get along. The type of women who like this form of poly is cool with casual infrequent sex with a guy they know and like, they are ok with being single-partner. They are ok with being a primary parent. They are ok with the idea of having 1-2 kids with one man who supports them but also has siblings for their kids without any additional toll on them. They are ok with being a working “village” with other women.
NC isn’t saying he won’t support his kids if these women get new men, he’s saying if they are not in a relationship he isn’t going to support or fund her life, her new man should 🤷🏾♀️. Different women have different relationships and sexual needs. Some women really like not having everyday feedback from a man about what to do with or for their child.
What I do find intriguing is why he won’t label what he’s doing, because clearly, it’s a form of poly. What I find repugnant is his colorism from a man who is “pro Black”.
I will continue to hold onto the thought that he’s only like this because Mariah won’t take him back, dude literally admitted he was doing too much & put out a song wanting ex-wife again. All this “monogamy isn’t healthy” bs he’s spilling is because the one person he wants, he can’t have.
Untreated sex addiction plus privilege equals some bullshit.
I believe if it’s consensual, everyone should just do what they want. Life is just choice and consequences. Whatever works. I’m not telling anyone else what to do and I don’t care really. Do you.