The Cambridges’ Colonialist Tour flopped so hard, there might be an inquest

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s Colonialist Cosplay Caribbean Tour was not *just* a flop. It was so bad that there will likely be a high-level inquiry into just how it happened and where everything went wrong. I have some much-needed information for the inevitable inquest: the problem is William and Kate. They are dumb, dull, petty and incapable of steering out of disaster. They did all of the colonialist cosplay because they wanted to, because they were too stupid to realize that it wouldn’t land the way they were expecting. Of course, there’s an eagerness to blame everyone besides William and Kate. And in truth, I do think Buttons and Moose Knuckle were poorly served and poorly advised. But they were and are the Future Future King and Queen, surely they’ll shoulder much of the blame? LOL. Some highlights from this Daily Mail piece full of negative commentary:

Tom Bower blames government officials: ‘I blame the officials at the Foreign and Commonwealth Office for the disaster. Incompetent, uneducated and lazy, they totally failed to anticipate the problems which William and Kate would encounter. The officials’ ignorance exposed the couple to unnecessary embarrassment. The FCO’s misjudgement, just as in Afghanistan and elsewhere, has humiliated Britain’.

An inquest? Experts have said they believe there will be an inquest into what has happened. Royal biographer and Daily Mail columnist Robert Hardman believes that rustiness on behalf of the organisers could be partly to blame. ‘I sense that because there haven’t been any royal tours for a couple of years, everyone has got a bit out of practice, particularly on the planning front. I think there were glitches in the planning of this. I think when they get back from this trip, a few questions will be asked’.

BBC Royal correspondent Jonny Dymond: ‘It’s been more than two years since the last tour and the Cambridges’ team sorely lacks experience in setting up a long and complex trip. The whole fingers-through-the wire moment was avoidable. Black Lives Matter has changed many perceptions. And the declaration by Barbados of a republic late last year has changed things too. There is no longer the forgiveness there once was for the slightly tone-deaf moment… The Land Rover might have seemed like a good idea at the time. But on the day it felt like one more reminder of colonial days. Times have changed. The Royal Family have in the past been pretty good at changing with them. But not on this tour. And second chances are these days few and far between’.

Camilla Tominey on Will & Kate “needing to accept” that they’re not emperors: ‘The days of us accepting royals, walking around foreign climbs, not addressing the elephant in the room which is our imperialism and colonial past is over. William and Kate of course have to accept some of the dissent that they encounter when they go on these tours… The truth of the matter is, because of the Queen’s performance on the throne and her solid support of Commonwealth Countries, she remains sacrosanct. Are there going to be more countries flirting with republicanism when we have King Charles III on the throne? Well, yes, maybe’.

[From The Daily Mail]

Maybe I’m just not seeing it, but so far, there are only rumors of an inquest, or commentators saying that an inquest is inevitable. While I think it’s hilarious that the Flop Tour was such a disaster that the government might have to spend time and money investigating it, I also think… let’s not? Like, an inquest would only be an exercise in bureaucratic ass-covering and y’all know that no one would actually say “Will and Kate were super-keen on dressing up like colonialists and no one told them ‘no.’” Also, this: “Incompetent, uneducated and lazy, they totally failed to anticipate the problems which William and Kate would encounter.” Incompetent, uneducated and lazy??? Will and Kate only want to work with people they relate to.

Photos courtesy of Instar, Backgrid.

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134 Responses to “The Cambridges’ Colonialist Tour flopped so hard, there might be an inquest”

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  1. Aerohead21 says:

    You know who would have been far better suited for this tour? H&M. That’s the real elephant in the room. H&M have significantly more empathy and compassion towards these type of situations and the monarchy blew it losing them.

    • Kelsey says:

      Exactly. And not Camilla Tominey of ALLLLL people, talkinboutsome “The days of us accepting royals, walking around foreign climbs, not addressing the elephant in the room which is our imperialism and colonial past is over.” That’s why when H&M would bring up needing to reconcile their colonist history they were dragged through the coals right? You cannot make this shit up.

      • Not a Subject says:

        Oh and Camilla you made a mistake….It’s foreign CLIMES. As in climates.

      • BeanieBean says:

        Not a Subject: that cracked me up. I thought, is she referencing the Bhutan trip? I believe they hiked up a mountain there, is that a ‘foreign climb’?

      • damejudi says:

        Oh my goodness, thank you @NotaSubject!

        “Climbs” vs “climes” was driving me bananas.

      • Thirtynine says:

        I know, right?! Seriously? This drivel doesn’t even get proofread?

      • Debbie says:

        God bless these people but there’s so much wrong about these statements. Each commentator says things to set my teeth on edge, like Camilla T. reverting to “but the queen herself is sacrosanct.” You mean the originator of that God-awful range rover image? It isn’t pretty now, and it wasn’t pretty in the 1950s. Also, do these BM people ever ask the commonwealth nations whether THEY think the queen is “sacrosanct”, because it doesn’t matter if the English think so.”

        And the guy who tries to excuse the Cambridges by saying that it wasn’t their fault because their staff was rusty, and it’s been 2 years since the last tour. These people will never change. And saying that BLM has changed perceptions (for you maybe!) but some things were always wrong, like turning young girls into child brides and young boys into child soldiers – it doesn’t matter what the prevailing sentiment is, it’s just wrong. I’m not at all optimistic about these people, the BM doesn’t get it, and neither do the different palaces.

    • Colby says:

      No question H&M would have done better, but truth be told I don’t think they could stop what’s happening.

      It’s 2022 and these commonwealth nations are realizing that monarchy is useless. Even H&M can’t stop that.

      • Sofia says:

        I agree. I don’t think they would have been able to stop Jamaica and Belize from seeking independence. But they would have done this tour with a lot more… sensitivity and perhaps the Jamaican PM wouldn’t have fired them in their faces live on camera but done a press statement/conference afterwards.

      • Charm says:

        Ahhh….. but its fun to rub it in IncandescentBullyBilly’s face that his brother and his savvy beautiful smart wife would have done much better in the Caribbean and made this a very successful tour.

        They cant prove otherwise and, in fact, the evidence is there on the record: in 16 months, Harry and his very pregnant/then with new-born wife went on THREEEEEE international tours: Oceania; Morocco; Southern Africa and ACED them!

      • Myjobistoprincess says:

        H&M could not have saved anything coming – but would have saved the British the embarrassment of such a failed tone-deaf racist disconnected public tour. The british press is so pinching – they know very well that all the approvals for the tour events went through the 2 coconuts, and they make sure to write what they reaaally think : “Incompetent, uneducated and lazy” so that the nuts would recognize very well who they’re reaaaally talking about them. Ouch LOL

      • Christine says:

        I don’t think Harry and Meghan would have tried to save anything. They know it is not their job to roll back equality and progress.

      • Debbie says:

        @Charm, my dear, you’re a person after my own heart.

  2. Jay says:

    Aren’t Sophie and Edward due to visit the Caribbean as well? If they can refrain from Colonialist cosplay, it might show that Will and Kate were the main issue.

    If there are lazy and uneducated people working for the British Foreign office, that should be addressed. But my guess is that most of the blame should fall squarely on KP. Incompetence starts at and is nurtured at the top. Nobody forced the keens into that land Rover at gunpoint.

    • Songs (Or It Didn't Happen) says:

      But if Sophie and Edward show up William and Kate in the slightest, even by merely being boring and competent, heads will roll.

      • equality says:

        That would make it even more amusing.

      • Athena says:

        A lot of eyes are going to be on Edward and Sofie during their Caribbean tour. This is going to be the most interest those two will get since their wedding. Would not be surprise if a lot of planning changes are taking place. I don’t think Sofie has ever tried to cosplay the queen with her outfits, but any dresses that gives woman on vacation vibes will be removed, and we shouldn’t expect to see Edward reviewing the troops. The tour will be more about those countries than about the Jubbly.

        I wonder if more RR are now making plans to go on this tour.

      • Not a Subject says:

        A lot of eyes may be on Sophiesta and forgotten Eddie but not my eyes. I’m done giving anyone in that family clicks and eyeballs. Moving onnnnnnn!

      • L4Frimaire says:

        Why would anyone waste their time seeing what Edward and Sofiesta do? My last image of that old crow was very obviously snubbing Meghan in church. They will either make fools of themselves trying too hard to show how much they like Black people and sound “ woke”, or be so bland that it will be rightfully forgettable. They better show up with some grants or investment,and pay for it themselves. Leave the Crown Jewels, sparkly dresses and colonial cosplay uniforms at home. Please don’t make anyone dance for them.

    • Amy Too says:

      And even if someone did force them into the Land Rover against their supposed better judgement, how do they explain the outfits? Kate spent her own time and judgement (and someone else’s money) on shopping for, tailoring, packing, and then dressing up in a direct 1953 Queen cosplay outfit….and that was the point, it was meant to be noticed and remarked on as a queen cosplay outfit. William wore a military uniform covered in military doodad crap. (Was he even carrying a sword that day?)

      • Nic919 says:

        They didn’t just get in the land rover but recreated the entire image and that falls on KP specifically kate and William. They say no all the time to things they don’t want to do and yet they thought this was a good idea.

        These are the same idiots who were carried on thrones in 2012 with no clue how bad it would look. They wanted to be worshiped and Camilla Tominey is telling us with her emperor comments that this is the kind of thing Kate and William expect. It just so happened that this isn’t 1950.

      • Blujfly says:

        Exactly. The Land Rover picture would not have hit as crazy if Kate and William weren’t dressed the way they were.

      • BothSidesNow says:

        @ Amy to, so we are to believe that KHate spending thousands of pounds dressing exactly like the Queen did in 1953, was the actual fault of the staff???

        The Lambrigdes intended to cement an aura as the ONES chosen by God to be treated and revered as such to lord over everyone within the Cat 5 Caribbean Charmless Tour!!!!

        Make no mistake, KHate and Baldimort were eager and desperate to cosplay the visit of PP and TQ and remind all of those that they mean nothing to them as they are seen as LESS than everyone else, solely due to skin colour!!!

      • Debbie says:

        @Nic919: It wasn’t W & K’s fault that they were carried on thrones in 2012. I hear the local people INSISTED on carrying them and you all know how soft-hearted W & K are. So, they had to oblige. (/s obviously).

    • Catlady says:

      What’s most amazing to me is that everyone is admitting the tour was a complete failure. I assumed the RRs would try to sugar coat and downplay what actually happened. If the BRF had any real commitment to diversity, equity, and inclusion this never would have happened. This is a great example of why diverse perspectives need as much weight and influence as those of the old guard.

      • Christine says:

        I feel really sorry, in advance, for the one black person they are going to hire, and deluge with questions, as if Willnot and Cannot are visitors from another planet, and hadn’t noticed it wasn’t cool to be into slavery and colonialism before now.

      • Debbie says:

        @Christine: You mean the royal’s future bully (when things go wrong for the RF)? The one and only Black person who will have insisted that every white person around her (from the queen on down) do her bidding, and work overtime? I’d feel sorry for that mythical person too if I didn’t know that any inquest W & K’s mess was going to be just cosmetic.

      • Lorelei says:

        @Christine, oh god, you’re right. Godspeed to that person.

    • BeanieBean says:

      Right, their upcoming tour should provide an interesting contrast. Let’s see how the rota twist themselves into knots if Edward & Sophie’s visit goes even a smidge better.

      • Feeshalori says:

        The one thing you do have to say about Edward and Sophie is that they know how to conduct themselves on tours and at public events. That’s why they also got sent as the queen’s representatives to all the European royal weddings years ago. I’m sure they’ll conduct themselves much better than William and Kate which will not sit well with the disastrous duo.

    • aftershocks says:

      @Jay: “Aren’t Sophie and Edward due to visit the Caribbean as well? If they can refrain from Colonialist cosplay, it might show that Will and Kate were the main issue.”

      ^^ ‘Might show that W&K were the main issue.” ???? We all know that W&K are incompetent, useless figureheads, as well as exceedingly lazy! They were always only interested in keen photo-ops. Even their hosts knew that because it’s so obvious.

      Plus, hordes of royal observers on social media warned the entitled Lamebridges that they should cancel this tour. All of the optics looked bad, especially with the Windrush scandal and with Will Egghead’s inept and racism-laced comments while visiting that Ukrainian center in Britain shortly before the tour. The firestorm that arose after those comments, and the hypocrisy surrounding stopping deportation of Windrush victims until after the Keens’ tour, is as brashly dumb as all get out!

      So yeah. There’s not much to reassess now. Everyone knows where the blame squarely lies. All this pontificating is just another version of protecting Burger King Will. And maybe the realization is finally dawning on the rota and the royal firm that, ‘They can fool some of the people some of the time. But they can’t fool all of the people all of the time.’ 🤪😆

  3. Polo says:

    Yea I doubt much there will be an inquest.
    They already had their meeting to put out talking points to the media…that’s as far as they will go.
    They also telegraphed that they thought it was Twitter outrage versus real life so they won’t change but they’ll make sure to tell us how much they’ve changed.

    • BeanieBean says:

      Maybe they can put that diversity tsar on it, as he doesn’t seem to have had much to do. Or maybe the crisis team? They seem to have plenty of time on their hands. Or will they wait until the investigation into Meg’s behavior is wrapped up? Who the heck do they think they’re kidding????

  4. Snuffles says:

    William is so determined not to take any of the blame for this shut show he’s demanding an inquest so he can blame the government. Just like he started a bullying inquiry over Meghan because he was afraid she would expose all of the horrible shit he did to her. Same M.O.

    Enjoy your future king, England.

    • Kalana says:

      Yes, exactly! He’s such a angry little weasel and bully. He needs someone to hurt because he’s can’t deal with his own emotions. It must be driving him mad that he can’t scapegoat his brother or Meghan for this.

      The inquest will find that Prince William sucks at his job.

      • Lady D says:

        I wonder how many temper tantrums William has in an average week, each time he realizes he can’t do something because Harry isn’t here to take the flack for it? Soon enough it will be his children who need a scapegoat and William can get enraged every day all over again. This is your life Billy-boy.

    • Becks1 says:

      I think that’s exactly what’s going on. William wants to be able to say “it wasn’t my fault” and point the finger at someone else so he wants an inquest. He’s also going to say because it was a foreign tour he and Kate just did what they were told and followed the planned events set out for them.

      • Eurydice says:

        Yeah, that’ll work – “I’m the King, but I just do what I’m told.”

      • Becks1 says:

        Oh it’s a stupid argument for sure and not really a defense because he’s the boss and he should be the one calling the shots and I think everyone knows that he IS the one calling the shots.

        but I think he’s going to try. I wouldn’t be surprised if we hear that one of their advisors or someone from the FCO is leaving as a result of this tour.

      • Jan90067 says:

        “I was just following orders” didn’t work so well during the war, either.

        Own it Baldimort.

      • BothSidesNow says:

        @ Jan90067, brava!!!!

    • Jay says:

      I hope this gives those “William should be king” advocates something to chew on.

      If he keeps blaming his staff and the civil service for his own lack of understanding and judgement, I hope they leak some memos on their way out the door.

      • Lorelei says:

        @Jay: the second part of your comment: YES. I hope so hard that happens. I read that statesmanlike Bill already fired half his staff in a fit of rage as soon as they got home, so there will be lots of bitter people out there who know that they shouldn’t shoulder all of the blame for this sh!tshow and will be upset that they’re being penalized for W&K’s incompetence.

        The first part: doubtful. Cambridge stans seem to be on the same page as the RRs; it was mostly social media outrage, they were actually warmly welcomed; it was disgraceful of the officials to put them in that embarrassing position but they handled it beautifully, etc. etc. It will be interesting to see if any hardcore royalists and fans actually do blame them, but I’m not holding my breath.

        I wonder if deep down, William and Kate DO know that at least some of it was their fault. I know they’ll never in a million years admit it, but I’m curious if they look back and see things they should have done differently. (Probably not. They don’t seem particularly introspective…to say the least.)

      • BothSidesNow says:

        @ Lorelei, I think that you are dreaming to think that KHate and Bitter Brother would EVER consider this Caribbean disaster as having ANY responsibility in regards to their own incompetent and tone deaf attitude!! They will always blame someone else, especially Bitter Brother!!! He hasn’t been held accountable for one infraction that he has caused the Monarchy for his entire life. He isn’t going to start now.

        I think that Bitter Brother, deep down inside, blames Harry for all of this!!! Bitter Brother has been banking on Harry to take all of the falls, blame and any other possible unpleasant behaviour that Bitter Brother conducts!! Bitter Brother has made his bed and now he must face the consequences, same goes for KHate!!

  5. GuestWho says:

    How odd that people like ptomaine are now addressing the UK’s painful colonial past when just two years ago Harry was a huge traitor for even bringing it up…weird how that’s working.

  6. girl_ninja says:

    What a life those to lazy bums lead. Mess up in the biggest ways on the world stage and have people make excuses for you and blamed! I wish my mistakes and screw ups were snatched from me and handed to others to deal with.

  7. Islandgirl says:

    There was absolutely no real thought put into that tour. No research at all. If there were they would have taken into consideration the move by Barbados and the rumblings in the Caribbean.
    This was a tour with the theme celebrating the Queen’s Jubbly”. But are the Caribbean islands celebrating the Jubbly? No they are trying to emerge from a pandemic which wreaked havoc on their economies , the effects of climate change which saw severe weather in the hurricane season and feelings of apprehension about how the Russian/Ukrain war would further impact on their economies.
    Kate and William’s staff ( and them) showed total disrespect from the beginning. While you will not be telling people what to do, you make yourself aware of the situation in the countries you are visiting and you plan accordingly.
    Did not see that. I saw the future future king and queen consort go right back to the tours of the 50s and 60s.
    Even the mention of Windrush….Windrush is one of the reasons that Caribbean peoples are disgusted with the UK. It showed clearly the way Britain views the mostly white members of the Commonwealth vs the brown and black members. ..They could even have brought some vaccines. US has donated vaccines to Caribbean..not Britain though..poor poor poor.

    • Nic919 says:

      I can speak for what is going in canada about the jubbly… absolutely nothing. No one cares about this, there are no extra holidays for us and most people have no idea and don’t care. Once again this is the UK and the Queen celebrating themselves like commonwealth day and thinking the rest of the world cares when they don’t. It is more pretending to be an empire when that ship has passed.

      So these British idiots went on a holiday tour expecting to be worshiped for something that means nothing to the locals. And they got told, which is what they deserve.

    • Charm says:

      Its betty and her geriatric advisors who wanted this tour.

      2022 is a ‘what-betty-wants-betty-gets’ kind of year because nothing, not even ill-health is going to stop her from celebrating her longevity as a useless monarch. Its just as how she completely ignored any suggestion that having her pedo-son escort her in church to an event that should have centered her dead husband, did the opposite and turned the event into a fiasco..

      Betty is in a IDGAF mood right now. LMFAO

    • SueBarbri says:

      This is the heart of the problem, in my opinion. The RF and the RR think the rest of the world is deeply invested in this whole Jubbly thing, when in reality I don’t think anybody outside of their very white, very Tory, London circle cares very much. And even their staffers probably only care because they’re getting paid to care. I’ve been royal watching for years and even I had literally no idea about the Jamaican Land Rover photo from the Queen’s 1950’s visit, so why would the KP staff believe the world was excited about this recreation/call back? I watched a few of the news clips from Harry’s 2012 visit to the Caribbean this week, and the two tours couldn’t have been more different. I realize W/K are the FFs, so their tours have to be a little more formal than Harry’s (I guess), but that should have been their model. Not a black and white photo of the Queen and Phillip doing a colonial tour from the days when Winston Churchill was still the PM. I’m usually sympathetic to staffers who are being thrown under the bus in these kinds of situations, but a lot of them are the same vultures and vipers who tried to break H&M, so I hope they all get fired.

      • ArtHistorian says:

        The Cambridges have always approached all their duties solely in terms of photo ops – so I’m sure that a lot of thought and planning went into re-creating that old photo-op of the Queen’s. But they are all to insulated, provincial, arrogant and just plain stupid to see that such a photo-op would be deeply insulting in 2022. The fact that they didn’t cancel it after getting fired on live TV just attests to how stupid and inflexible they are.

        Modern royalty has to walk a dangerous tightrope, which mean that they have to be able to read the room and be flexible enough to swerve if something doesn’t work out. Will and Kate are unable to do this walk because not only aren’t they very clever or flexible, they’ve never had to learn to be because the royal households and the press have always covered for Will and insulated him from the consequences from his missteps.

  8. Brit says:

    The media, who only support them because the couple that really makes them money and are superstars despise them, seems to have gotten a wake up call that these two are not the future of the monarchy. They were wishing and forcing them as the brightest and it failed spectacularly. Some of them are already admitting that Harry and Meghan should’ve done it and I think some see the writing on the wall. They’ve always known these two were bores and have no charisma. They must’ve believed the coverage they wrote because anyone could’ve seen this whole happening. No wonder they’re so desperate for Harry and Meghan to return. They’ll never admit they need them though and that’s the problem.

  9. Miranda says:

    Yeah, an inquest seems unnecessary. And it would set a bad precedent, as the local reception on this tour is probably what they can expect on future tours as well. Would the government be able to afford the budget for both Kate’s wardrobe AND an inquest after each trip?

    • Athena says:

      I think sometime the press is trying to let the BRF know what should be done by putting out stories as if the BRF is planning to do it. The press probably thinks there should be an inquest so they write it up as if the family is considering an inquest, hoping they’ll take the hint, same with the diversity czar, and countless other things which were suggested and never happened.

    • Lorelei says:

      @Miranda I cackled at your last sentence

  10. TheOriginalMia says:

    No need to spend government funds to find out what went wrong. We know what went wrong: William’s ego and Kate’s vapidness combined with their team’s incompetence. William thought he could do what he wanted with impunity. If you believe you never put a foot wrong and even if you do, it’ll be covered up, then running roughshod over indigenous people and using black people, children and adults, for photo ops doesn’t bother you much. Especially when there’s tanning, swimming and scuba diving to be done on your vacation.

  11. Scorpion says:

    😂😂😂😂😂 Not Bower, Dymond, Hardman, Tominey and Co leading the charge…

    Oh Willy, face it outside the Fail’s commentariat and your own echo chamber, noone likes you 🙃

  12. Harper says:

    Logistically, the tour went fine. The main characters showed up relatively when they said they would. The hosts provided the accommodations and receptions as planned. The natives performed as requested. The handlers pushed people out of the way when their time was up. The media was blocked so that William didn’t speak off the cuff and trend again. Kate did her happiest girl in the world thing every single moment of the day. The Keens posed with lots of people of color so that they could show the world they weren’t racist like Meghan said. It seem like that inexperienced staff did the job they were asked to do.

    The truth was that the Keens used the people and the governments of these Caribbean countries for photos, didn’t bring a single gift, didn’t offer material support to the community and were overall insensitive, uninterested, and fake as hell and people noticed. Who needs an inquest?

    • Merricat says:


    • Thelma says:


    • Eurydice says:

      I posted at the same as you – yes, rustiness would have led to scheduling mishaps, of which there were few. And rustiness implies that there was once knowledge, but we know that isn’t true of W&K – they were exactly who they’ve always been.

      • Lorelei says:

        Exactly. But do we think that this tour finally pushed Charles over the edge, and he is angry enough to force them to publicly take some blame? Because that’s the only thing that will really get through to them: if it is made crystal clear that while some of the responsibility falls on their team and advisors, THEY also actually fcked up big time and need to step up and admit it.

      • Eurydice says:

        I don’t Charles will ever fault them publicly, but he might smack Will upside the head in private. We might see evidence of that if W&K’s schedule goes back to being utterly mundane

  13. Eurydice says:

    W&K had a team with them on the ground, didn’t they? They can’t all have been hair dressers, jewelry toters and gown wranglers. Certainly, Moose Knuckle didn’t have a valet. OK, W&K are idiots, but didn’t anyone else on the ground have eyeballs? Or did they try to give W&K a nudge and were told to shut up?

    I think there will be question, not an inquest. And I don’t believe the “rustiness” explanation. OK, so they didn’t have a tour for 2 years, but they weren’t living underground, either. Charles had pretty much just come back from handing over Barbados and it was no secret that Jamaica’s been looking to break away. “Rustiness” can lead to some scheduling mishaps, but not tone-deaf scenes of imperialism.

    • Lorelei says:

      @Eurydice, the “rustiness” excuse is annoying me so much. It’s not as if the Cambridges regularly went on tour every six months or something up until the pandemic. And even if they had, it’s still not an excuse. It is the JOB of these people to plan the tour and if it went poorly, it’s their fault, and it’s pathetic to try to say they hadn’t done it in a while and were “out of practice.” Please. Not to mention that the people who shoulder the lion’s share of the blame for this tour are the two people who will never admit any mistake or weakness. W&K will blame everything on everyone else.

      Event planning was a big part of my last job and you have an entire team of people helping to run it, so there are (or should be; not sure about KP staff) plenty of different perspectives chiming in at all stages of planning. And anyone with any sense does a ton of research and delegates, but makes sure the people being delegated to are checked in on regularly and that all of the details are triple-checked so that nothing falls through the cracks.

      This was just a mess and it’s nonsense to claim that if it hadn’t been for the pandemic, this tour would have been a raging success.

      • Eurydice says:

        Yes, a good friend of mine runs the events department of a major university – she’s arranged visits of and lectures by US presidents and foreign heads of state. Of course, they didn’t do much during the pandemic, but she still has kept up with all the world events, issues surrounding travel and local hospitality, and also whatever interests the university has.

      • Debbie says:

        Let’s put it this way, they also knew the Jubbly-related tour was coming and they had over 2 years to get the planning and events right. What stopped them? If KP was lacking in some areas, they had many resources, such as the white people in the British government, the white people at Buck. Pal. and the whites at Clar. House – oh, okay. I got it now. Yeah, this was doomed.

  14. Susan says:

    Agree on all previous comments. I also think the royal fam have fallen in to the trap of the rich and famous…surrounding themselves with (and only hiring) sycophants who agree with everything they say and no dissent. If you disagree or present a different view, you’re out. (Cough cough M+H). The name escapes me but I want to say Kate had hired a new PR lady a while back who seemed competent…and that ended quickly. The same thing that has metaphorically—and sometimes literally—killed peoples’ careers, financial security, and lives .

  15. Becks1 says:

    The “rustiness” argument is hysterical to me. Because they haven’t done a tour in two years they decided colonialist cosplay was the way to go?? those pictures of the Cambridges being carried from 2011/12 (was that the Solomon Islands?) were circulating again after the Oprah interview and over the summer and into the fall IIRC. They were circulating and being criticized. no one on their team noticed that and thought, huh, maybe we should try to avoid that imagery.

    they’ve done other tours before without this heavy colonialist vibe, and without the tours feeling like an extended vacation (I know there are always some vacation elements thrown in, but this one was BAD.) I really think this was just William and Kate saying “we want to play soccer, and drums, and go scuba diving, and wear jewels. And if we have to go to a school or hospital we’ll do that too but make sure we get to go sailing.”

    • Amy Bee says:

      @Becks: The colonialist vibe on tours was always there even on Harry and Meghan’s tours but times have changed and the Royal Family hasn’t.

      • Becks1 says:

        Oh the colonialist vibe has definitely always been there but it felt really strong on this one. (I actually think the whole concept of royal tours is kind of colonialist, like the emperors visiting their realms or something).

        but this one seemed REALLY bad. Maybe its because the world has changed like you said so what may have been okay 5 years ago isn’t okay now, but also…william was in uniform. have we ever seen him in uniform on a royal tour before? I just checked and even when they went to France for the World War I memorial services a few years ago he didn’t wear a uniform.

        The uniform, the Land Rover, Kate’s Holiday Barbie dress… was just so bad.

    • Chaine says:

      Just googled the images and Oh. My. God. Somehow I missed the whole “carried on thrones” thing first time around….

    • ArtHistorian says:

      I think the reasons that their previous tours (except the Tuvalu Islands) haven’t had such heavy-handed colonialist vibes is because William and Kate has primarily toured CW countries with a white majority. They have never officially toured countries with a non-white majority – and this tour really showed us all why: they are deeply uncomfortable around non-white people.

    • Lorelei says:

      @Becks, ITA, and even if Kate wore all of the same clothes, it might not have been such a colossal joke if they’d actually appeared to really be trying to learn as much as they could, and doing engagements of substance. There still would have been criticism, but it wouldn’t have been quite as savage, I don’t think, if W&K showed even a shred of interest in the people they were going to see and tried to learn how they might be able to help.

      But no, they wanted to dance, and go scuba diving, and eat chocolate. And it could not have been more obvious that alllllll they cared about were getting their precious photo ops. So there was absolutely zero goodwill toward them on any level because they were so clearly uninterested and using the tour as part tropical vacation and part “let’s get lots of pictures with POC in the background to show we are very much not racist.”

      Nothing will change until W&K personally are held accountable.

      • Eurydice says:

        That’s the thing. Certainly, the RF needs to deal with its colonialist past, but it also needs to deal with its colonialist present – and W&K were the epitome of that.

  16. Amy Bee says:

    Does everybody remember the Diversity Czar? Yeah, there’s not going to be an inquest. The commentators keep saying that the staff is inexperienced but they’re not saying why that it is. It’s because KP has a high turnover rate that existed before Meghan and remained after she left. Most of KP’s current staff have joined in the last year and a half. Meghan left KP in April 2019 so who or what’s the real cause of the staff leaving?

    • Becks1 says:

      I’m old enough to remember the diversity czar AND the crisis management experts 😂😂

    • windyriver says:

      Believe the diversity tsar was never hired – there may have been something said publicly last spring along those lines, that it wouldn’t happen after all. Pretty such sure both crisis managers started as scheduled in May but have the impression at least one has already left. Maybe someone else has more definite information…we’v3 certainly seen no indication any of those people exist.

  17. equality says:

    The whole idea of a royal “tour” is outdated. In an age with internet and video chat why is going to another country necessary outside of work or vacation? The Caribbean countries are already popular tourist destinations and anybody who wants to know about tourism only needs a search engine (which would provide more info than W&K did). The charities could have been highlighted without a visit on their SM but instead they spent loads of taxpayer dollars for their vacation “tour”.

    • Amy Bee says:

      @equality: Exactly.

    • MsIam says:

      If there is an inquest @equality it ought to be on your point about the money being spent (wasted) on this tour at a time when so many are struggling. I’m not in the UK but watch a lot of videos from the news programs and they talk about people having to choose between food and heat. And while I’m sure they’ll claim “Oh we already budgeted for the tour!” I’ll bet they didn’t budget for a war driving up the price of everything, during a pandemic and a global supply chain crisis. And next they’ll be spending tons of money on the Jubbly.

    • Eurydice says:

      Nobody in the US needs the RF to sell them on Jamaica and the Bahamas.

      • MsIam says:

        Exactly, they just needed the pandemic to be over so people feel comfortable traveling again.

    • Nic919 says:

      It was hilarious to see the boot lickers on Twitter claim that they needed the royals to visit for tourism after the pandemic. FFS none of those islands needs these two for tourism. They have been doing great for decades without any of their visits.

      • Becks1 says:

        I said this a few days ago – even if they did need them for tourism (which I agree they don’t), the Cambridges didn’t do anything to boost tourism. Show me the local restaurants that are open and what they are serving. Show me the tour companies (cough scuba diving companies cough) that are operating and what kind of places we can visit. and highlight charities as well or just local Jamaican/etc organizations so I can see what the country is like besides pretty beaches.

        But instead we got….none of that.

      • Mrs.Krabapple says:

        To add to what Becks1 is saying, William and Kate NEVER use photos to promote whatever they purport to support, they only ever use it for their OWN promotion. Like when Kate had a photo taken of the brownies she brought — how on earth did a photo of brownies support the Ukraine? It didn’t, it was all about promoting Kate herself. These are selfish, self-centered people.

      • Feeshalori says:

        And the Jamaican PM pegged those photo ops and called them out on it. What a glorious momen!

    • ArtHistorian says:

      These royal tours that the BRF do when it comes to the Commonwealth countries (that still have the Queen as HoS) are essentially a remnant of their colonial past. These tors are basically the CW version of visiting the “colonies”, just like Commonwealth Day once was called Empire Day.

      That’s why they no longer work. Because these tours have never been about the countries visited (or the communities there) but about the royals being celebrated for being colonial overlords. In that sense Will and Kate’s recent tour was very honest. They just didn’t realize that the times are different.

      • Lorelei says:

        @ArtHistorian, it seems like they’ve been doing these tours for so long, it’s basically built into their DNA. I don’t know what it would take for them to realize the tours are outdated and need to stop, but I don’t think that will come from Charles or William. They seem to think these tours are a fundamental part of their jobs— thei big showpieces.

      • ArtHistorian says:

        While the monarchy functions as a national symbol of historical continuity, it seems as though the people managing the institution haven’t realized that this is simply a polite fiction and have chosen to believe that the institution has to remain unchanging. The reason why the monarchy has lasted for a millennia is BECAUSE it has changed with the times.

        A huge part of it is due to the longevity of the Queen (and of her domineering mother). The institution has been held in an artificial time bubble for so long that I’m not sure that they are able to change during a time where a deftly managed change is essential. Furthermore, in a contemporary constitutional monarchy the quality of the person inhabiting the office is much more important than it was before – both due to changing sentiments but also due to a radically changed media landscape.

  18. JMoney says:

    The thing no one has mentioned is how much William and Kate have leaned on cosplaying The Queen and the DoE for years. They wanted to be perceived as them as opposed to his dad b/c they want the same reverence as The Queen esp since having their “own image” would require effort something these two are allergic to. Typically this cosplay when done in the UK goes down well but when its done abroad everyone can see through it. I think they will continue to cosplay as The Queen and C will continue to cosplay Diana but primarily in the UK now. W & K got a wake up call that they can’t rely on cosplaying as The Queen and DoE at least while abroad. However this has been their thing for years. Remember Kate’s uncle gave an interview saying that Kate wants 4 kids like The Queen?

  19. Cee says:

    The moment they experienced the way the Sussexes were treated, they could not handle it for even a day. The only difference here is that the Sussexes did not deserve it and the Cambridges, and their staff, do.

  20. Feeshalori says:

    The whole idea of these types of tours gives a distinctive whiff of traveling overlords inspecting their conquered territories. It’s time to bury that. And how soon will this inquest take place and how quickly will the results be published? We’re still awaiting the findings of the bullying investigation.

    • MsIam says:

      I read something on the internet (I don’t know where it was from) but it said they looked like “Bwana and Missy coming to visit the field hands!” I know people can be obtuse and tone deaf but dang this was so, so bad.

      • Jay says:

        It boggles the mind how many chances they had to mitigate the horrible colonialist overtones, and how many times they just doubled down instead.

        At any point, they could have pulled back on any of it; they didn’t and still don’t understand, and/ or don’t care.

    • Lorelei says:

      @Feeshalori, we already know how stupid they think their subjects are, but this time it seems to have come back to bite them in the ass. I really don’t think they’d counted on people even remembering the bullying investigation, let alone repeatedly asking for results and following up more than a year later.

      They’re so used to making empty promises and getting zero pushback from the peasants; they weren’t expecting this. THEY had forgotten about the ridiculous bullying accusation because they only threw that out there at the last minute, as a Hail Mary to lessen Meghan’s credibility before Oprah aired. Now people are demanding results and they’re screwed.

      • Feeshalori says:

        Lorelei, they love to throw out how proactive they are with their “searching for the truth” investigations, but when called on the carpet to deliver, they just can’t. The bullying investigation is buried along with the other skeletons in the closet but Meghan is not having it. We’ll see how productive this tour inquiry will be and how transparent to the public if it ever comes to that.

    • Iz_Q says:

      No other royal family that I can think of do tours like this anymore. They do official or State visits that are short and usually include leading a business delegation to highlight ongoing or potential business relationships or to celebrate an anniversary of relations between the two countries. The actual visiting country, their exports, expertise and culture are highlighted. But they don’t do these honor us because we graced you with our presence mess.

      The BRF should really take cues and get clues from the other European royals who are moving with the times. But, then again, the BRF thinks they are above those families and snubs their noses are them. They have isolated themselves amongst the walls of their own delusions of grandeur and self-importance while other royals have modernized and adapted. Yesterday, they used those foreign royals as props tbh.

  21. Louise177 says:

    I disagree that this is all William and Kate’s fault. The buck definitely stops with them but they have a huge staff that plans, schedules, and oversees these tours and appearances. Nobody thought that visiting disputed land in Belize or driving around in a Range Rover was a bad idea. That says a lot about the staff as much as William and Kate. The funny thing is it helps to show that their staff likely was horrible to Meghan.

    • Sofia says:

      At the end of the day, W&K are the ones hiring the staff. Or telling what type of staff to hire to whoever does the hiring for them. So if the staff are terrible, that is a reflection of W&K too.

    • TeamAwesome says:

      The same “huge” staff that they have hand picked, barely paid, and allowed to talk shit about Meghan because she hurt their fee fees when she expected them to work. The people at the head of an organization are absolutely responsible for the workplace climate and skill level of their staff. If they wanted better people they’d hire them.

    • Merricat says:

      Lol, that staff wasn’t around when Meghan was there. The Cambridges have huge turnover.

    • TigerMcQueen says:

      I reckon if anyone on that staff pushed back about a bad idea they wouldn’t be on staff for very long. The Cambridge’s are not exactly known for having open minds and being willing to learn. The buck totally stops with Bill and Mutton Buttons.

      That said, someone on staff absolutely should have spoken up about things like the fence when they saw it. They could have brought it up with local organizers. But outside of that, if either Bill or Mutton Buttons had an ounce of competence and awareness, they would have seen the fence, understood the optics was horrible, addressed it immediately including saying something to assembled press, and gone out of their way to approach those on the other side of the fence differently…by reaching over (I’ve seen comments that Raheem Sterling did this), getting in close rather than awkwardly extend her fingers and grin maniacally, etc.

      I know things have to happen on tours like this outside of the royals’ control, but how the royal in question reacts tells the story. I don’t think Bill and Mutton Buttons even realized the chain link fence was going to look bad, and I think the criticism came as a shock to them. Diana, Harry, Meghan, even Charles (maybe) would have understood the situation better and reacted much differently. The Cambridge’s inability to do that is on them.

    • Lorelei says:

      @Louise177, I don’t think people are claiming that this disaster was ALL W&K’s fault. As you said, there were a ton of people behind the scenes working on the planning, so there’s plenty of blame to go around. However, SOME of it was their fault; that’s indisputable, and what remains to be seen is if they’ll be held accountable for their roles in the missteps. No one person shoulders all of the blame here, but some people are saying that W&K are 100% blameless and I don’t think that’s accurate either.

    • Jais says:

      Yeah, agree no one thought about how bad those photos would look bc they didn’t think they looked bad. W+K, and their staff, and prob quite a few of the traveling rota didn’t even blink at the pics bc they didn’t get why it looked bad. Only when people gasped at how bad it looked did they slowly start to realize. That’s what happens when you’re isolated in white privilege and everyone on your staff is the same. They still think the response is unfair and an overreaction.

      • ArtHistorian says:

        I’m pretty sure that KP is a huge echo chamber – mainly because it is well known that Will prefers yes-men. It was something that was actually written about openly before Meghan came on the scene and she became the royal scapegoat. There were articles about how difficult Will was to work with – and it took a long time to hire a PR director (which turned out to Knauf) because William doesn’t like meeting push-back to his (bad) ideas. I bet not a single person among the KP staff dares to tell him to his face that some idea of his is a bad take.

  22. Colby says:

    I also have some info for the inquiry! It’s 2022, not 1822. Monarchy is a useless leftover of a bygone era and commonwealth nations are realizing that and ending those colonial ties.

  23. CC says:

    This inquest will probably be like one at the beginning of a British mystery novel: “wrongful tour committed by person or persons unknown” and everyone paying attention will be like, come on, the culprit is obviously in the room with you right now.

  24. tamsin says:

    Kate can’t seem to smile naturally for a little black girl. Her teeth seem clenched in the photo. Her hand just hovers over the little girl’s skirt. Absolutely, a picture is worth a thousand words.

  25. SourcesclosetoKate says:

    No inquest is needed your ‘ffkffq’ are not liked by the world. Stop trying, it’s putting lipstick on a pig

  26. Veda says:

    An inquest will not solve anything because the British establishment does not want to move on from their Empire days. The commonwealth countries are not in awe of the British State that colonised, enslaved, looted and laid them waste any more. The monarch and her representatives embody this British State and the countries’ rightful anger against the State will be projected on the royal representatives, whoever they are. This is the kind of reception that royals will receive on any tour to non-white commonwealth countries. This tour was made worse by the fact that Will and Kate dressed and behaved exactly as the colonisers did in their heyday. The best reaction they may receive is of stark indifference, like on their tour to India. The royals are a liability for diplomatic tours to non white countries. Stopping these tours is the only solution.

  27. Lurker25 says:

    “inexperienced, uneducated…”??
    At the start of the tour the Daily Fail published this:

    All about the fabulous team surrounding the Cambridges on this tour. Including the woman who arranged their Pakistan/India tour and many others for various royals, served as a diplomat and received an OBE for her efforts.
    (Clearly she’s also tone deaf and they give out OBEs like breath mints, but she’s hardly inexperienced, no?)
    Lots more about other fabulous very very smart people (shockingly young) incl the social media manager they “poached” from the Sussexes who was entirely responsible (insert eye roll) for the sussexroyal insta doing so well.
    Also dude who seems to have replaced Jason Knauf for baldy, and Khate’s “right hand” go-fetch girl who seems to idolize Kate in the pics. Suddenly I think I know the “inside source” for the crying bullying stories…
    Hope Sussex Squad screen shots the article because it’s (gulp) worth the read.

    • betsyh says:

      Thanks for the link. I don’t often see accounts of the aides who serve the Cambridges. All white, of course. And, you’re right, quite young. On the other hand, shouldn’t younger people have been more tuned into the dated, empire narrative of the tour? Maybe their job is just to carry out the orders of higher up, more senior staff?

    • Lorelei says:

      @Lurker, that article!! I’m surprised the Fail didn’t take it down as soon as the tour started to flop.

      From reading that, it sounds like most of the blame for the tone-deafness of this tour is on Hannah Cockburn-Logie.

      Natalie Barrows looks like she’s aged a decade after working for Kate for only a few years. Can’t blame her.

      I’m still half-convinced that the social media guy who used to work for the Sussexes is purposely sabotaging the Cambridges because their SM has been such a pathetic joke— the paper coming out of the copier straight out of “The Office” video, the one of Kate going around posting signs up around KP (??), the recent scuba diving fiasco, QUOTING BOB MARLEY…I mean, how is it possible that he did such a great job working with the Sussexes, but his work with the Cambridges is a mess? I know Meghan was probably very hands-on and involved with IG, but still.

  28. lheath says:

    The Keens’ staff is “Incompetent, uneducated and lazy” because they didn’t dare to “bully” their staff by requiring them to actually be competent and do their job. But then, how would they know what being competent and doing their job looked like???

  29. Athena says:

    You know how sometimes you’re in a job that you’re tired and bored of, or you know it’s not a good fit for you but you stay anyway because the pay is good, or you’re afraid to challenge yourself, you become complacent, that’s what I feel is going on with this family. I don’t think any of them want to do this job anymore. The queen is just tired after 70 years of publicly walking a fine line ( hence Andrew’s support yesterday), Charles is tired of waiting to be king, must be dreadful having to do this day after day. William, is stuck in a family business which he is ill equip to run. Even George looks miserable in almost every public outing. Harry said it, they’re trapped.

    • Deering24 says:

      They don’t want to do their jobs—but they can’t conceive of a life without their status.

  30. SIde Eye says:

    I can save them some time: William and Kate are lazy, racist jackasses. Tax payers of England, you’re welcome.

  31. Cinders says:

    “Incompetent, uneducated and lazy” actually described W+K to a tee. And even if they did have staff giving them advice, does PW strike anyone as the type to listen? I rather get the impression PW think he’s a strategic genius and is right about everything.
    What’s interesting also is that no one seems to like William. He doesn’t even seem close to members of his own family. There’s a lack of interaction when you see him at big family events (Kate too, actually), compared with others who you see chatting and laughing.
    Anyway, when even the Daily Mail die-hards are saying the tour was a disaster, W+K are in deep trouble.

  32. SarahCS says:

    ‘Incompetent, uneducated and lazy’ IS the Cambridge motto/strapline. They should get it included on their crest or whatever they have.

  33. Jay says:

    This reminds me of the meme with the guy in a hot dog costume – “We’re all trying to find the guy who did this”…

  34. Fredegunda says:

    Why was the government not hands-on all the way? They should be dictating the tour schedule to emphasise the UK’s diplomatic and economic interests in the host countries; helping the royals to choose appropriate clothing; giving them reams of briefing material and quizzing them on the information before departure. Both William and Kate would also benefit from role-playing exercises to help accustom them to situations (and people!) that they are likely to encounter overseas. Frankly, they shouldn’t be sent abroad as representatives of the queen but as representatives of the country.

    This tour was an embarrassment to the UK and I can therefore understand the rumours of an inquest. At the very least, KP needs to issue a statement of self-critique, admit that they did a sh!t job, and say that they’re putting specific measures in place to keep it from happening again.

  35. candy says:

    I love how they act like it was an unanticipated disaster. There were literally articles and comments from readers beforehand saying how ill-timed this was, let alone the obvious. But Kate and William have never cared about the criticism they’ve received. She even said in her engagement interview all that matters is what their friends and family think because they think exactly the same way. They love to throw people under the bus, so I’m not surprised at the blame-game articles.

  36. Gracie says:

    Hard pass. At any point, either W or K could have said “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” They are the bosses and ultimately in charge of and fully responsible for their own images. That is part of being a leader – YOU are responsible for failures. The laziness and stupidity are on them. Perhaps there is incompetency on their team, but they held the cards. Events could have been cancelled or reorganized at their request.

  37. Lizzie says:

    Will should reimburse the govt for every penny spent on the vanity tour.

  38. susan says:

    just like this website

  39. markhamgal says:

    You kill me with these posts!! Buttons and Moose knuckles….perfect names!!!! Thanks for the daily laughs. You also always have the perfect pics to post….Kate looks strained to say the least, and she really needs to stop doing those crazy laughs of hers. She looks nuts. I feel like she really let herself “go” after Meg appeared, and was naturally happy at her engagements that has caused Keen to really go off kilter and she now has insane expressions when she is trying so hard to look happy and exhibiting how much of a blast she is having. When I saw the picture of the children reaching from the fence I just couldn’t. That image really says it all to me.

  40. KSK Pamuk says:

    What is glaring to me is the fact that these two colonizers went to very economically challenged countries without offering anything such as grants for education, even one grant for childhood development, or even funds for an environment program. They brought nothing but their keen selves, not even one outfit to showcase local designers! It was an obvious PR stunt playing to the empire colonizers of old back on salty isle. When Harry and Meghan went to Africa they brought a lot to give with them, they showcased local designers and enhanced their businesses. Will and Kate need to understand they are dull as dishwater so they better ramp up the offerings and stop thinking their keen faces is enough.