Obviously, everything about the threat of the SCOTUS overturning Roe V. Wade is devastating. Among the freedoms we’ll lose is the “fundamental right to privacy” to obtain safe and legal medical procedures. Because there is so much at stake, many women are voluntarily giving up their legal right to privacy and telling their personal stories of abortion to help fight this hideous decision. On Tuesday, Phoebe Bridgers revealed that she’d had an abortion last October while on tour. She didn’t go into details, nor should she have to, instead she focused on the ease and access she had. Phoebe emphasized that everyone should have the same rights and ended her tweet by urging her followers to donate to a list of organizations in the fight.
Phoebe Bridgers revealed she had an abortion in 2021 while on tour. The 27-year-old singer-songwriter shared her story on social media in the wake of a leaked draft majority opinion that shows the U.S. Supreme Court intends to strike down Roe v. Wade.
“I had an abortion in October of last year while I was on tour. I went to planned parenthood where they gave me the abortion pill. It was easy. Everyone deserves that kind of access,” she wrote.
Bridgers directed her followers to The Cut’s article “Donate to an Abortion Fund Right Now,” which lists on-the-ground organizations that help coordinate and pay for abortion care for women who need it.
I cannot grasp a country that wants to go backwards. I know that abortion is not the only road in which that’s true, we’re rolling back the clocks on civil rights, gay rights, and women rights and none of it makes sense. Phoebe said it perfectly, “It was easy. Everyone deserves that kind of access.” Because as Elizabeth Warren reminded us on Tuesday, rich women will still have plenty of access to abortions. This barbaric decision affects those without resources and connections. We have to fight so that everyone keeps this access.
I love that Phoebe posted this. I hate that she had to. Maybe she has no problem talking about it, but we shouldn’t have to post our stories about our safe and legal abortions to prove they are necessary. I just hope it makes a difference. I have one. I’ll put a trigger warning here about a dead fetus for those who might need it: my mom put my father through law school by working at the phone company. At that time, she was pregnant with my oldest brother. There was another pregnant woman who worked with her, about as far along as my mom. Within her second trimester, the other woman found out her baby was dead. She had to carry the fetus until she birthed it naturally because it was the first half of 1962 and that was her only option. She and my mom worked side by side with this knowledge, until the poor woman finally went into labor.
Photo credit: InStar Images, Instagram and Avalon Red
That story you told of your moms Co worker is the saddest thing ever. Unbelievable what some women have had to go through
And mothers risk death due to sepsis in a similar situation.
mine had to be declared insane in order to have hers. 60’s, california.
My brother had a friend who was pregnant with triplets. One of them died in utero, and his body caused a second one to have horrible brain damage.
Sadly, this is happening in Poland, a country in central Europe now. Restricted abotion law allows termination only when mother’s life is endangered, that is I.a when a dead foetus is causing sepsis. And women have already died…
Sharing stories is how we makes this normal. We shouldn’t be ashamed and lawmakers and those that find them should know they’re outnumbered.
I’ve had 3 pregnancies. 1 miscarriage and 2 abortions. Because of 2 conditions I can’t carry a viable fetus to term and to carry at all is hell inside my body. I feel the change at conception and it’s agony from day one and only gets worse.
If I didn’t have access to this medical procedure I might have ended myself years ago. My husband and I are happily childfree. But we would both be denied the choice because of possible accidents.
@ Wiglet Watcher – I’m so sorry. I’m sending you a tight hug!
I remember getting my first union job and the excitement of finally getting to go to a private obgyn covered through my excellent health insurance plan. Boy were my dreams crushed when I discovered my birth control pills he prescribed were not covered by my insurance. Sadly Viagara was. So back I went to the old reliable planned parenthood and continued to get the pill from them. Those were the times. Planned parenthood surely saved me from pregnancy for the many years that I needed them for affordable birth control.
I also suffered an ectopic pregnancy and needed an emergency abortion. I understand at least one politician tried to get even those outlawed. I would have died without it.
Hugs to you. Thank you for sharing your experience, so others might learn from it and have empathy.
I know nothing about this woman, but I will say that the top picture is leagues closer to how to wear a nude dress.
And also, I thank her (and you, Hecate) for sharing your stories.
This is indeed a terrifying step back.
Access to safe, private abortions will be very difficult or impossible for people who are not wealthy, or are disabled, young, live in conservative or rural areas, or are in abusive or controlling domestic situations.
I’ll share. I’ve had 4 miscarriages. My body just doesn’t want to let the pregnancy go, so things tend to linger. I’ve had 3 D&Cs. Medically necessary procedures, but something that in the wrong state will be criminalized.
My medical record says I’ve had an abortion. Like you, my body held on long after the heartbeat stopped and I needed a D&C to safely remove the embryonic sac. I hope that isn’t weaponised in this revolting war against safe options for ending pregnancy.
I’ve had what they call a silent miscarriage too. The fetus was not viable but my body kept feeding the sac. I had to have it taken out with the same procedure.
I asked the Dr. what would happen without getting it taken out. She said in all likelihood you would hemorrhage and bleed to death.
I had a D&C for my third miscarriage because I was so emotionally devastated, I didn’t want to be awake to pass it (I took medication after my first two “missed” miscarriages). It’s the safest way to pass a failed pregnancy, and yes it’s called an abortion on medical records. Is that really something that these nut jobs want taken away? That doesn’t even make sense.
I will forever be grateful to Planned Parenthood. In college it was the only doctor I could afford to see. I got routine checkups and birth control. We all need access to quality healthcare.
same. For MANY MANY people, esp, young people, PP is the main source for medical care, counseling, preventative care and on and on….VIVA PP
Yes, me too. In college and during the years after, I did not have health insurance. PP was the only way I was able to get yearly screenings, and my family has a high risk of reproductive-related cancers. I’m forever grateful to Planned Parenthood.
I love how nonchalantly she shared this- no angst, just matter-of-fact. Incidentally, since this is a gossip site….wasn’t she dating Paul Mescal from Normal People last fall? Just wondering if he found out in the news that this happened.
She is still dating him (that’s him on the photos) so I’m pretty sure he didn’t find out in the news
She is engaged to Paul.
I had an abortion when I was 14 years old. I had an older boyfriend who was pushy and I felt pressured. He had all sorts of “data” from his cousin about how pulling out was super safe and how if you only stick it in for a little bit that was like not even really having sex at all.
I got pregnant the first or second time that I ever had sex. And between both times, I only had about 3 minutes of sex total (“I just want to stick in and see how it feels!”) and he pulled out (or said he did) both times. I was 14, the summer after my freshman year of high school, and had to go to a cheerleading camp called “The Beast” in a couple of weeks. I went to planned parenthood and took abortion pills. Honestly, the way my mom reacted and continues to bring this up to this day has been way more difficult and traumatizing than the actual abortion.
I am so sorry to hear that your mom still brings it up and is negative about it with you. Moms should support and love unconditionally, not shame us like that. Hugs. You were a brave 14 year old who went through a lot and I’m so glad you had access to a safe abortion. ♥️♥️
Amy, thank you for sharing your story and I am sorry that your mother’s behaviour is re-traumatizing.
My heart goes out to you.
It is amazing how many young people don’t understand the limits of the pull out method. My bf’s college roommate thought he was a virgin because he never finished inside. Like, dude, that’s not how that works. And the pre- materials from the guy are highly concentrated and can definitely get you pregnant. I fear this is only going to get worse over the next decade, as the quality (or existence) of sex education in schools gets reduced.
Amy Too, please check out nate_postlethwait on insta. A very loving and supportive trauma educator. You deserve to feel safe. I went no contact with my mother five years ago, and although the choice was unimaginable initially, it has turned out to be the best possible choice for my healthy, peaceful future. Wishing you all the best.
Thank you Peace, I will check that out. I’m currently in one of many frequent a “let’s not talk for awhile” breaks with my mother and am intending to make it as permanent as I can. I think the only times I’ll be seeing her are maybe once or twice a year when my grandparents host a big family thing, and I’m still trying to figure out if I even want to do that much or not.
Amy, how strong you were and are. I was just thinking about all the women I have known who had abortions who went on to build productive lives and raise children in loving and financially stable homes.
If your mother can’t recognize the importance of your action, she doesn’t deserve you. Sending you a virtual hug.
I hope more women feel comfortable publicly sharing how normal it is and that it’s a safe medical procedure. They shouldn’t be pressured to share if they don’t want to of course but I hope we as a culture allow them to speak. The silence adds to the stigma. It’s not shameful.
I had an abortion. Never felt an ounce of doubt or shame over it and have been very open about it. It’s disgusting to see this regression in my lifetime.
I genuinely applaud you! I never have but I hope I would be open, too.
I guess my comment above was in reference to women with public profiles. I have a sinking feeling that most famous women would be advised not to say anything for career reasons, even if they really wanted to.
I understand why women in the spotlight might be hesitant to share their stories. In a perfect world, they could.
To put this in further emotional context Phoebe was being very vocal about the anti-abortion laws being passed in Texas last October while on tour there.
Whether it is because of miscarriage, fetal abnormalities, fetal death or not wanting to be pregnant, pregnant people who have abortions all arrive at the same destination, “I don’t want to be pregnant” and need normal, routine, and safe abortions.
The people who curl the monkey’s paw with the “I would NEVER ever chose abortion for myself” are simply lucky. Any person with a uterus has to accept that abortion is normal, safe, and routine healthcare for their reproductive system. When you get to “I don’t want to be pregnant anymore” the reason that invokes it will not matter, you’ll need the abortion just the same & all the “I would NEVER” will vanish from your subconscious like it was never there.
I will share, now this happened way before I was born. So my grandfather came over to Canada with his brother and sister in the late 1920’s or early 1930’s (he was born in 1900) from Poland. From what I understand they settled in Montreal and my grandfather left to work but the brother & sister stayed in Montreal and were living together. Apparently the brother got into gambling and partying and either the sister got raped or pimped out – either way she got pregnant against her will. She died from a botched abortion and my grandfather never spoke to his brother again.
Thank you, Phoebe. We need to hear these voices. We need to hear from the vast, vast majority of women who have no regrets about their abortion. Who felt that it may not have been a pleasant decision, but that it was the right one for them. We need to hear that abortion is not universally traumatic.
I’ve never had an abortion myself, but I’m quite proud of my family’s history of supporting a woman’s right to choose: my grandma’s cousin was a physician who performed safe but illegal abortions, starting back in the 1940s, and his female relatives would take the girls in for a few days while they recuperated. That kindness was so appreciated that many of those girls stayed in touch for the rest of their lives. I know my late cousin, aunties, and my grandma would be furious at the fact that this has become something of a tradition that my family still carries on with today. We shouldn’t have to.
(If anyone else wants to participate in this sadly necessary tradition, you can learn more from Haven Coalition if you’re in the NYC area. Other big cities and blue states may have similar organizations!)
http://www.havencoalition.org/
Pregnancy is a potentially fatal, life threatening, potentially body destroying medical condition. Let’s all shout that from the rooftops.
With all the “have a home birth, pregnancy is completely natural” hooey out there, folks forget just how dangerous pregnancy is. Women are encouraged not to disrupt the myth that pregnancy is awesome and joyous and easy, but it used to be the number one killer of women.
It’s an extremely serious medical journey and no government should be interfering with a woman making her own decisions on it with her doctor and whoever else she cares to consult.
Yes! Pregnancy is a fraught situation. So many things can happen because it is an incredible process.
Also, the #1 cause of death in pregnant women in the US is homicide.
So not only is the process of being pregnant a vulnerability, but being pregnant also put you at risk of intimate partner violence and death. I worry what MEN will do when abortion is outlawed. Will they start killing even more women?
This is gonna be done, one way o the other.
It has always and forever, been done.
Its part of the burden/blessing that comes with having the ability to create life.
All these men are just jealous of what we can do, that they can’t. Why should this be “so easy”? Being a woman is supposed to be unfair! Privilege is only for men! How dare we just walk away from a life we helped to conce— ohhh yes. Thats what MEN do. See.
She shouldn’t have to share, but I’m so glad she chose to. I had a surgical abortion 2 years ago, and it was the best decision – it was stream lined and easy, and the staff were wonderful . I don’t know what I would have done if this weren’t possible, and EVERY WOMAN deserves full, safe access to them. Period.
What’s the difference from Plan B and an abortion pill?
Plan B is emergency contraception because birth control is not 100% effective. One pill one time. Taken within 72 hours, the earlier the better. It doesn’t work if you’re already pregnant.
An abortion pill will help terminate a pregnancy medically. I suggest you check out planned parenthood website.
Roe v. Wade must be upheld. Period.
I haven’t had an abortion, though I have used Plan B.
But my best friend got pregnant at 16. We were in a panic, but I helped her get an abortion, which absolutely was the right thing to do in her situation. It was terrifying figuring out how to access that but we took for granted that we could, because I was born in 1980 and grew up with Roe being settled law. I hate that my nieces won’t grow up with the certainty that I did.
I have had four pregnancies. I had a surgical abortion at 17. I got pregnant again at 24 and did the two step process of a shot,then a pill 24hours later since I was less than 8 weeks or something. Third ended in a miscarriage at the abortion appointment. My fourth is my Daughter I planned at 31. I’m glad I don’t have four kids. I can barely handle one and my Husband.
My three precious boys (31, 24 and 16) are birth control babies. I’m a decade mom lol. Now, if I can get preggers on birth control, I wonder if there was another accidental pregnancy — or more than one? What would’ve happened had I not had access? I simply can’t fathom wtf this country is doing. My state is insane and Florida is our future for the country. WTRoyalF???
If it weren’t for legal, safe abortion, I wouldn’t have my son now. I found out during my pregnancy previous to his conception that my fetus had an abnormally developed heart and that if they survived the pregnancy, they would likely die in infancy. This was discovered in my second trimester. I definitely wanted an abortion. If I were to exchange places with my fetus, this is what I would want my mother to do. Even in San Francisco, there were only two providers who could do the procedure at this stage. I conceived my son, now 14, a few months after the abortion.
How heartbreaking a decision that must have been. I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m happy for your son’s life!
My mother almost died in childbirth. People roll their eyes at maternal mortality rates, but she hemorrhaged out most of her uterine lining and nearly bled to death.
When I see those bumper stickers that say “SMILE! Your mom chose life!” I feel like replying “I smile that my mom got to choose. PS my mom is pro choice so GFY.”
I guess now they’ll have to switch to bumper stickers that say “SMILE! Your mom was forced into life!”
I’ve shared before here and on Twitter. I don’t have an abortion story. I carried Kiddo to close to term and raised/raising him (he’s in his 20s now, so he thinks he’s all grown up but I disagree lol).
The point it I CHOSE to carry him to term and raise him, etc. Luckily both he and I made it through. In no way was FORCED to give birth. That’s what pro-choice is. I CHOSE to have Kiddo. That was only MY choice. But it wasn’t my ONLY choice. That’s what it should always be for everyone.
My mind is all over the p lace on this. I want to shout, I have cried, I have stacked up on PlanB (not for me cause that’s a young womans game now:) to pass out. I have had an abortion. I have taken many relatives and employees to the abortion clinic and paid for their abortions. I will continue to do so. I can not imagine a world in which my daughters/sisters/friends may actually DIE because they will be denied access to a safe abortion. We are living an actual nightmare.
It blows my mind that even someone who has a miscarriage couldn’t get access to a DNC? It’s the safest way to pass a failed pregnancy. You’re in the hospital under a doctor’s care. I’ve had 3 miscarriages. For the first two, I chose to take medication to force my body to pass the failed pregnancies. I was scared of anesthesia and therefore the DNC and I could do it in the privacy of my home. For my third miscarriage, I couldn’t bear the thought of being awake to pass it. That was the most devastating one because there were no signs anything was wrong. I had the DNC. All of these decisions were the right ones at the time that I made them. They were my own medical decisions that old men have no business in.
Keep abortion safe and legal