Laura Dern looked delightfully awful in an orange & turquoise Prada

I haven’t seen any of the recent Jurassic Park movies, am I missing anything? I remember the sequel with Vince Vaughn and Julianne Moore. There was another one with Sam Neill too? At some point, they rebooted the series with Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard, and I remember the criticism that the writers/producers made Bryce’s character a caricature of a nagging, know-nothing B. But yeah, I’ve skipped out. I’ll skip out on this new one too, Jurassic World Dominion. They’ve brought the original cast members – Jeff Goldblum, Sam Neill, Laura Dern – together with the new cast members, Pratt and Howard. Last night was the big premiere in LA for the film. The cast was in Europe last week, doing smaller screenings and photocalls to hype the film, but this seemed to be the big “world premiere.”

We’ve always talked about Bryce’s fashion and styling with the caveat that Bryce has to buy most of the clothes she wears at red-carpet events. While she looks like she’s about a size 8/10 (in America sizing) to me, designers only “lend out” size zero or size two stuff. So she’s not getting freebies and she rarely gets to borrow stuff. Which means she buys her clothes and chooses the clothes herself, to sometimes awful results. She’s going through a fashion phase where she’s all about chest cut-outs and I don’t really get it. This Alex Perry dress isn’t great, but it’s far from the worst thing Bryce has ever worn. Her bangs trauma situation has slightly improved too, right?

Meanwhile, my nemesis Laura Dern looked awful in this Prada ensemble. Reader, I laughed. I always get questions about why Dern is my nemesis. First of all, everyone needs a celebrity nemesis, some BEC who annoys you for no specific reason. I hate her because she’s tall. I hate her because she’s not as talented as people say. I hate her because her style sucks. It brings me such joy that Prada gave her this shiny, cheap, ugly outfit.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid.

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52 Responses to “Laura Dern looked delightfully awful in an orange & turquoise Prada”

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  1. J. Ferber says:

    Yes, the outfit is awful, but I don’t give a f–k because I love her so much.

    • Driver8 says:

      Same. I’m watching Enlightened and she is amazing. Talented family of actors those Derns are.
      My BEC is Liv Tyler. She seems like a lovely person and I do not understand my hate. Shrugs.

  2. HeyKay says:

    All these outfits look awful.
    Ugh, Pratt. Nope.

    • BothSidesNow says:

      That was my first thought, PRATT? Why in hell would he be asked to return, though I didn’t watch the sequels except the 2nd one. I loathe sequels as they are too lazy, in Hollywood, to create or finance new material. They want to ensure that they are massive money makers NOT creative content. Case in point, the MI sequels, though I loathe TC. As well as the other countless sequels that never should have been made.

      And why is Howard having to purchase her clothing? She is a Howard?

      As for Dern, she looks awful and she does not, in my opinion, carry the same talent as her fabulous parents. Her mother is an icon!!!

      • Beech says:

        Laura Dern, scary movie, lnland Empire. It was a late night showing, I didn’t want to see it and I had to be up early the next morning. It one of only two scenes I remember, the other not scary but bizarre. Young topless women, everyone with obvious boob jobs, dancing in formation to Little Eva’s “Locomotion.”. The Dern scene you can pull up on YouTube. The first time I read anything on Paltrow she became my instant nemesis.

    • Leesa says:

      Right? It looks like they were all competing for a worst dressed award!

    • Nikki says:

      My thought exactly!! Each one is so tasteless & unattractive.

  3. MeganC says:

    Wow, everyone looks terrible.

    • SomeChick says:

      they do! even the people in the background look bad! that one guy has a nice tie and that is IT.

      Prada is super hit and miss for me. satin as main body fabric is quite tricky to pull off well. it’s generally better used as an accent, or at least draped instead of in big flat panels.

  4. Bettyrose says:

    Laura Dern cracks me up. She can get away with this awful look. No way is Bryce an 8/10. She’s probably 4/6. That’s how twisted Hollywood is that a tiny size is considered large.

    ETA: the first Jurassic Park was a truly great film for its time, featuring one of the most tense/scary moments ever to that point. But if you didn’t see it then you can’t ever relive what that experience was like in a theater in 1993(?).

    • MF says:

      High-end designer clothes run small compared to your average mall brand. A size 6 at a place like Banana Republic is probably an 8 or 10 in Givenchy.

    • Erin says:

      I have a distinct memory of going to the theatre with my dad to see it. It was the first adult movie I got to see in theatre and my sister didn’t get to go because she was too young.

    • Jan90067 says:

      I’m an 8/10 and she looks a little smaller than me. Then again, depending on the designer, the numbers can go wacko! I can wear between a 10 to 14 (!!!!!) in jeans depending on whose the manufacturer. Some small tops swim on me, others, a medium fits great…and a very small few, I need what the designer deems a LARGE! It’s nuts! I really wish there was cohesive sizing, not vanity sizing, in clothes!!!!

      That all said, they all look like hell. Bryce’s curtain bangs look better, but IMO, she needs to cut her hair, or at least layer it a lot more around her face. It just hangs there.

      I like Laura a lot as an actress, but man, she looks a LOT older than she is. I don’t know if it’s the hair or the makeup, but she looks way older than 55!!!

      Pratt…ugh. Looks like he goes to TOBB’s tailor. They must’ve graduated from the school of the Too Tight Moose Knuckle Academy For Menswear.

      • BothSidesNow says:

        @ Jan90067, oh my gawd!!! I 🙇‍♀️ to you for the epic Pratt cosplay with regards to his tailor of TOBB!!! I am forever your faithful cheerleader…..🙇‍♀️ 🙇‍♀️

      • Jan90067 says:

        Ty BSN (bowing in thanks!) 🥰

    • Fabiola says:

      I’m a size 4 so with her height she most likely is a size 8. You have to be very thin to be a lower size when you are tall.

      • bettyrose says:

        Good point. The internet says she’s 5’7″, so she’s probably 5’5″ or 5’6″, so not very tall but still quite a bit taller than me.

    • lucy2 says:

      Yes, the first film was incredible, and groundbreaking! I still will watch it if I come across it somewhere. I only saw the next one after that and didn’t like it, and then haven’t seen any of the Chris Pratt ones.
      Having the original cast back is tempting, but I’ll still pass.

      • bettyrose says:

        We saw the first Chris Pratt one in the theater for nostalgic purposes, and it was a huge waste of time. I also watch the original once in awhile. You can’t get back the excitement of the first screening, but it’s still a solid movie. This new one looks like they just pasted together a bunch of CGI action scenes with no real plot worth caring about.

      • kirk says:

        The first is groundbreaking because it’s based on novel by Michael Crichton, interesting guy who went to medical school then abandoned doctoring to pursue writing and has given us many wonderful sci fi, crime, techno & medical thrillers. It’s rare, if ever, that any screenplay developed after original book-based blockbuster, that has been undertaken as safe financial bet, achieves the same level of intensity and thrill as the original.

      • BeanieBean says:

        And that first one holds up, too! So many movies I saw when I was younger I can barely bother with anymore, but this one is sooo good. Dern’s character bugged me, though. She’s supposed to be a PhD-wielding scientist, but everything she did & said was beyond dumb. She’s there to be blonde, unfortunately. Not her fault, of course, but still.

  5. Eurydice says:

    Laura must be a pretty good actress if she can smile while wearing that hideous mess of ill-fitting, wrinkled satin.

    • NotSoSocialB says:

      It looks like the *worst* home-ec outfit ever.

      • EnormousCoat says:

        I had to close one eye while looking at that top. Was the inspiration Pinocchio’s outfit? It’s bad.

  6. MerlinsMom1018 says:

    Ummmmm *cleans glasses*
    Nope from me for any of those outfits although because I love Jeff Goldblum so much I will try to overlook his.
    and Sam Neill. I haven’t been able to look at him the same since I saw Event Horizon, which is a shame because he’s swoon worthy to THIS old lady.

    • BothSidesNow says:

      I adore Sam Niell. I haven’t seen Event Horizon and now I am fearful of watching it.

      • MerlinsMom1018 says:

        @ Both Sides Now
        I will warn you in advance that hands down, it was the scariest movie I have ever seen and it takes ALOT to give me nightmares.
        The movie is very very good, and Sam is a delicious snack BUT THE ENDING DEAR GOD. Did.Not.See.That.Coming.
        I can’t watch it to this day and every Halloween my youngest daughter texts pictures of it to me.

        But seriously if you like sci-fi and don’t mind having the bejabbers scared out of you it’s a great movie 10 out of 10

  7. Pork Chops and Applesauce says:

    It’s a God forsaken dress, yikes! The fabric pulls and shows every crinkle and wrinkle. The fit is horrible. The color combo is basic super hero whateverness. It really does look as cheap as a Halloween costume from Party City.

  8. Laura says:

    That outfit is hideous. She looks like she’s cosplaying as JK R*ling

  9. Katie says:

    Turquoise and orange sounded awesome in theory, but all satin is a big no thank you. These boob bandage dresses that Bryce is wearing seem to be everywhere right now, but I can’t say I care for them.

    • Gil says:

      I was about to ask why Laura Dern is you cb nemesis and your answer is glorious. My cb nemesis is Vanessa Hudgens. I dislike her since the days of High School Musical.

      • kirk says:

        Laura’s blouse and skirt have nothing to do with each other. Perhaps she was trying to match Jeff Goldblum’s pants?

    • AMA1977 says:

      As a fellow well-endowed woman, these dresses are not our friends. If she likes it and feels beautiful, then that’s all that matters, but that is not a look for anyone who 1) eats more than a grape with some air on a daily basis or is 2) over a small B cup.

      Laura, no, just no. Chris Pratt is abhorrent and his suit is EXTREMELY poorly tailored.

  10. Concern Fae says:

    Wasn’t there one of the up and coming Black actresses who wasn’t getting loaners, so she put her money into a classic, incredibly fitted and flattering Armani gown and wore it everywhere. She looked spectacular and designers got in touch.

    All I can say is if I had to dress myself for the red carpet, the results would be tragic.

    • HufflepuffLizLemon says:

      Tiffany Hadish, and it was a gorgeous white gown with a jeweled neckline.
      ETA, Same Katie. I would wear the same boring, black, simple dress every time, and try to change it up with styling. That’s what I do now for events and weddings lol.

  11. MC2 says:

    I like Laura Dern.

  12. M says:

    I will not give my money to Crisp Rat. Hard pass.

  13. AmyB says:

    Kaiser, your reasons for hating on Laura Dern are glorious! I don’t have much of an opinion on her, but yes, she looks hideous here, yikes! I always crack up when you introduce her as your “nemesis” Laura Dern…it’s the little things in life that bring us joy

  14. Kitten says:

    Everyone looks impressively horrible, Satin has got to be the most unflattering fabric on earth.

  15. Lens says:

    BEC! Never heard of that before so thank you for that! I’ve had numerous BEC, male and female, throughout my life although I’m down to just a few now I’m older and more mellow. Ben Affleck watch out! And Laura is not really my BEC but I can see your reasons and I even have one more: when she’s interviewed she comes off as the most “actressy” actress around. Bitch what you do is not that important. Well maybe she is my BEC although I think her supporting role in marriage story was the best of that year so I can’t begrudge her that.

  16. girl_ninja says:

    Bryce is such a pretty woman and while I understand that she doesn’t borrow and has to buy her red carpet looks she still needs a stylist. Really, really badly.

    • EnormousCoat says:

      I’m with you on this. I originally commented on Dern’s look, which I don’t like, but Bryce’s look may be the worst (though Goldblum’s pants are ridiculous, even for him). It’s not flattering, it’s not eye-catching – it’s just ugly.

  17. lucy2 says:

    That’s a lot of bad fashion all around, on the men and women. Chris’ suit looks too tight and his shirt and tie are odd, and Jeff looks like he went out to check the mail and ended up at a premiere.
    Bryce is beautiful and has a great figure, but that dress is very unflattering. I don’t think it would look good on anyone.
    Laura’s a shiny disaster, but I like her a lot as an actress.

  18. Ann says:

    It’s really refreshing to see celebrity teeth that aren’t extremely whitened. Laura Dern has normal looking teeth and it’s a nice change, makes me feel better that mine aren’t blinding white either. That’s all I got.

  19. Elizabeth says:

    Bryce may have had to buy her own dresses when she first started in movies. But she is in one of the big movie premieres this year, next to a lot of A list stars. I can’t believe she isn’t able to find a designer who is willing – no, eager!! – to dress her. Tadasha Shoji dresses Octavia Spencer, Christian Siriano and Michael Costello from Project Runway have custom designed a lot of non-model looks. Even just a stylist would be beneficial.

    Jeff Goldblum has looked fantastic at every. single. event. for this movie…until this one. What the heck is he wearing?!!

  20. Gabby says:

    Maybe Laura Dern wore this on a dare. It’s like a shiny tribute to Howard Johnson’s.

    Don’t these people have stylists? Normally you can count on Jeff Goldblum to just wear a nice suit. Not anymore.

    On another note, the studio is ruining the legacy of the spectacular original Jurassic Park by making these cheesy sequels. Hang it up already.

  21. Jo says:

    Am I the only one who gets really creepy vibes from Jeff Goldblum? He horrifies me, the way he talks, the way he looks at women… ugh. But he may be an amazing man. This on the topic of nemesis.

  22. christina says:

    I’ve loved Laura Dern since Wild at heart, love her mom too. Hideous outfit.

  23. AppleCart says:

    Is color block back in style again? I remember it made the rounds a few years ago with the blue/orange blocking. Didn’t like it then. Don’t like it now.

  24. Browniecakes says:

    The actress who played Lex in the original is stunning — at 42 years old. Can you believe she’s 42!?