Abigail Spencer has appeared in so many shows that I almost don’t know how to describe her. I know her from Grey’s Anatomy, Suits, and Timeless, but she was also in a ton of other shows, including True Detective, Mad Men, and All My Children. Aside from a contentious divorce a few years ago, Abigail doesn’t really make headlines outside of her work. But one of her recent Instagram posts alluded to “the hardest year of [her] life,” how stress affected her, and how she found her way out of it.
Abigail Spencer looked back on some of the trials she has faced as she rang in her 41st birthday.
The Grey’s Anatomy actress opened up about her physical and mental health battle amid “the hardest year of my life” in an emotional Instagram post on Thursday.
In a collection of photos showing off a recent trip to Paris with her son Roman Pruett, 13, and friend Miss Jai Alexander, 64, Spencer smiled in the pictures as she offered an inside look into the personal turmoil that took place after she celebrated her 40th birthday — and how she overcame it.
“August 4th 2021, I moved into the hardest year of my life,” Spencer wrote. “It almost killed me, and if I hadn’t been in training for my mind, body & spirit for & surrounded myself with the most incredible community of friends & healers, I do not believe I would have survived it. I’m not going to get into the details of the events that brought about what I’m about to share, but I’ll tell you some of the emotional headlines of its effects.”
“Stress almost took me out,” she explained. “I literally felt like my insides were being eaten by stress. I couldn’t get up off the floor some days. Fear & loss had gripped me. Anxiety would arrest me. In the fight of my life.”
The symptoms began to manifest physically, Spencer added, noting how she “cried so hard on multiple occasions that it led me to vomiting.”
“I spent hours some days trembling while holding myself through the incessant distress. I didn’t leave the house for days. I couldn’t catch a breathe [sic]. Everything felt so hard. At one point I thought I was having a heart attack. I talked to a cardiologist & he said I wasn’t having a heart attack, that my heart was so broken & I needed to be held,” she recalled.
After some time passed, and through work with her “healing community,” Spencer experienced a shift in her energy, allowing her to somewhat close the painful chapter in her life.
“I scheduled my grief & physical care like it was my effing job. Because it was,” she said. “And then…more light came in. And every day something or someone would come along to be a warm glow. I started to get my sense of humor back. I remembered that laughing was an option.”
The Suits alum continued her message offering hope for her followers also experiencing a rough patch in their lives.
“I share all this because the ‘pretty & dreamy’ ‘living your best life pictures’ you see here don’t tell the full story,” the actress said. “They were earned. And if you saw the gal from August 2021 to March 2022 you could never have imagined me here. I didn’t. And I’m so proud of myself. For not giving up.”
What Abigail described sounds really difficult. The way she described the symptoms and how she felt physically was very visceral. While it’s certainly her right not to discuss the specific details of what led to her condition, I feel bad for her that she felt so terrible. I also prefer to refrain from a lot of personal information, and it can be hard because people pry or find it hard to understand what you’re going through without examples. But I’m glad the people around her and her doctor took her symptoms seriously and helped her through it instead of being dismissive. It’s wonderful that she had such a supportive community around her and had the time and resources to devote to healing. Not everyone going through a rough time has those same options, but her message is still accessible and hopeful for anyone who might be going through a rough time, to show them that they’re not alone and it can happen to anyone.
Photos credit: Cover Images, Getty Images and via Instagram
Oh wow, how awful for her, but what a great announcement “I’m so proud of myself for not giving up”. We should say this more.
I fell in love with her on Rectify!
ETA: Her Paris holiday wardrobe looks even more gorgeous than JLo’s!
That really is a good affirmation that we should all use more often.
She was incredible in Rectify!
Especially as women, we are subjected to disbelief & side eye from the get go.
There’s really no “I believe you” when it comes to our health care (physical or mental), probably because men run the medical profession (mostly).
We have to feel more pain, be in more
distress, & have multiple examples just to be taken somewhat seriously.
I’m glad she got help, I loved her as Scottie. She always gave it right back to Harvey.
Bless her for her resilience! This sounds horrific. From experience, I know how critical it is to have a loving support network to hold you up while you navigate the twists and turns of grief and anxiety. I expect Meghan and Harry were part of that for Abigail. Anyway, her pics of Paris and her boy are beautiful — he’s a dead ringer for her! Good for her for surviving!
That’s Jai.. from ATM
Liked her in Suits. She sounded tired and took on way too much. Glad she is better
They look so good! I didn’t realize I missed them.
I want to go to Paris with Miss Jai!
I suffer from anxiety and when I was going through my divorce during the pandemic, I went to my dr thinking I was having heart issues. I wasn’t, it was all stress related. I’m also in a place I wouldn’t have imagined back then. I’m glad she got to the other side, too.
The pictures are so beautiful, and her journey, so raw and inspiring. So happy she shared what she was comfortable sharing, which was still very affecting.
On another note, I just love the idea of traveling with my child and a fun friend! I am married with really young children (1 and 3) and thanks to their ages and the pandemic, we haven’t truly started taking vacations as a family. When we do I imagine hectic packing, delays, limited sightseeing scheduled around naps, and rushed restaurant outings where we’ll likely end up packing most of the meal. It’ll be great but also decidedly not a “vacation.” What I’m really trying to say is that the Paris Sojourn de Abigail, her son, and Jai Alexander looks SO incredible…and 100% removed from my future.
I know her as the sister Amantha from “Rectify” which also has J. Smith-Cameron as the mom. It’s an excellent show.
I hope she isn’t on the bad eugenics/fascist woo woo healer or health adjacent train & that she stays feeling better.
A couple weeks ago, I got VERY hooked up on her Hulu show, Reprisal. Right when I’m the middle of the first season, I find out it was cancelled!! I’m still bitter about it. I wish her nothing but good things. What she describes sounds scary AF.
OMG, I came on here to say the same thing!!! I loved that show and was so sad when it was cancelled! Thought it was clever and fun.
I’ll be over here fantasizing over the Three River Phoenixes, if you’d like to join me! And if you’re into any of the other men, that’s fine too! Anyone else may feel free to do so as well, of course.
I’m all in!!!!
Glad she’s sharing this so openly and giving a different perspective to the glossy life we often see celebrities post about online. Sounds like she’s really had a rough time but gives us all hope.
Loved her in Mad Men!
My guess would be she dug up some past trauma(s) /abuse that she had repressed out of her consciousness while being at that emotional retreat and it was horrible to process it.
There is a reason why therapy sometimes takes years. 100 hours of therapy in one week is no joke, people!
Glad she made it through!
This is brave. It doesn’t take much to get taken out by grief or stress. For me, 2021 was absolutely awful as well. It took a few months but I made some really important changes. I now live by the motto of putting your health first (including mental health). Don’t live for anyone else’s expectations. It’s hard in our capitalist society, especially as a woman.