Kaley Cuoco has had a lot going on this year. The second season of The Flight Attendant aired on HBO Max and she was nominated for the Best Actress in a Comedy Series Emmy. She was recently cast in a true-crime project for Peacock, has a Doris Day limited series in the works, and voices Harley Quinn for HBO Max. Kaley also finalized her second divorce, started a new relationship with Ozark actor Tom Pelphrey (but they won’t be getting married), and adopted a zonkey. Kaley sat down with Variety and talked about her recent projects and personal life, and how the two affected each other.
Working through her divorce: It was one of the hardest years of my life. Not only personally, but doing this character that was so tormented. It was the first time that I started therapy — I’ve been very open about that. I started at the beginning of Season 2, just because I was going through so much right before we started shooting. It was horrible. And I developed a stress rash that ran all the way down my body for three straight months that wouldn’t go away. I literally, like, had fire on my leg for three months. I could barely walk.
Having co-star Zosia Mamet move in with her: I really needed someone with me. I was really losing my mind. And then so many of these scenes were so hard to do because they were so hateful, so sad, and so dark, and there wasn’t a lot of levity. She did. She had an Airbnb, and it only lasted so long. And I was like, “Why don’t you just move in with me?” Like, it was the loneliest I’ve ever felt, and I am not really someone to share that.
Asking producers for help: I’ve been very open about it, because I think for the first time, I wanted people to know that things just aren’t always what they seem. And things aren’t always so perfect. One month in, I had an intervention on myself in my trailer — all my producers were in there. And I said, “I need help.” It was interesting to say that out loud. And to have everyone be like, “Yes, we want to help!” I’m a working woman, and so independent, and I really take pride in being able to do everything. Well, this time, I literally couldn’t.
Life imitating art and vice versa: Going through my divorce, it was really a super dark time. I just didn’t know how to deal with it. I was throwing myself into work to deny my depression, and how upset I was. Unfortunately, the character was so depressed that it wasn’t helping me! I was really, really, really struggling. A lot of tears. The episode that I submitted for [the Emmys] was Episode 5, with that beach scene. And for two hours, I just cried. Like, I screamed, I cried, I sat there, I was quiet. I lay down; I stood up. I mean, it was amazing. Who gets to have that opportunity? And I needed that for Kaley, and I needed that for Cassie, and it worked all in one. The trauma I was going through probably helped whatever I needed to do for this season. Did I mean for that to happen? Oh my God, no. Did I want that to happen? No. It was so life-imitating-art at certain moments that it was eerie. I truly feel like the pain I was going through, a lot of that was real on camera. The scene where I break up with Marco — I mean, I could not breathe. I just went in the bathroom, and I literally thought I was going to have a panic attack. Not that what happened to them happened to us. That’s not what I’m saying. It was just the whole idea of the breakup, and saying the words.
Kaley has spoken before about having Zosia move in with her, but I think this is the first I’ve heard about her telling producers that she needed help as well. Obviously it was in their interest to help her since she was the star and executive producer, but it’s good they were able to do so since so many workplaces don’t have the resources for that sort of thing. I can definitely relate to being independent and pretending like everything is okay when it’s actually not, so I’m glad she was able to open up and ask for what she needed from her friends and colleagues. It sounds like playing a dark, struggling character like Cassie was difficult for Kaley during her divorce, but also helped her process her trauma in a way. The beach scene she submitted for Emmy consideration is very emotional and affecting work. Also, Kaley said a few months ago that a third season of The Flight Attendant is unlikely, but told Variety she’s open to it and talked about it with another EP recently. So, it’s a maybe? Keeping us on our toes, I see.
Advocating for yourself is the hardest thing to do, especially when your coping mechanism is to internalize stuff and pretend everything is okay. I hope she continues to do well, I loved her in The Flight Attendant.
A big yes to people sharing their stories of asking for help (if/when they’re good and ready). We can be so indoctrinated to keep going and keep pretending on the outside, it can be incredibly hard to ask for help and acknowledge that you can’t do it on your own. I still remember vividly the conversations with my old boss when I told her I’d been diagnosed with moderate to severe depression and it was the best thing I could have done. Personally very challenging (and scary) but absolutely worth it.
Wow “I was throwing myself into work to deny my depression, and how upset I was” this line really hit home with me. This is basically how my family deals with any problems. Just go to work. It’s like a crutch you can ignore what is going on around you as long as you are working. But eventually that no longer works and things break down emotionally.
It’s great to see asking for help becoming more normalized. And people really do want to help someone struggling. Take a mental health day wheneer you need it. And find resources to help you get through. There are lots of online platforms now to do that. My job offered free online therapy services with an outside provider. It helped me get through some tough times. And didn’t use my work to hide behind and just dealt with the issue so I could move past it.
And for Kaley, I think she very much wanted to be happily married. But for whatever reason she just isn’t wired for that. Not all of us are. And having a loving boyfriend is wonderful. It works for Goldie and Kurt.
I remember going through my divorce and was told that at least I had work to pour my energy into. I’m not sure work was what I needed….
I applaud her so much for sharing this. It can be so hard to ask for help, but it’s great that she recognised she needed help, was able to ask for it, and was given the help she needed.
All I can think about is anyone else on the crew who might’ve been going through difficult times, suffering too-but there’s no work help for them.
Amen!
How would you know there’s ‘no work help for them?’ We have no idea how the other crew relationships are. They may all be very supportive of each other. People are not mind readers which is why learning to ask for help is so important.
I am really happy that Kaley is getting this kind of career and evolving from the “dumb Blond” stereotypical roles. Slightly off topic – I had no idea that Tom Pelphey has been steadily working! I just remember him as Jonathan Randall who married his first cousin on Guiding Light.
Season 2 of The Flight Attendant was pretty dark. I mean, so was season 1 but I felt like season 1 was more dramady. Season 2 was Cassie fully coming to terms with her alcoholism and self-destructive tendencies which made it all the more painful as she had made a conscious effort to start over: move to a new city, date a decent guy, go to AA meetings, moonlight for the CIA. And it all went down the drain so fast. Going through a divorce and having to show all the emotions Cassie goes through would be tough on anyone! I’m glad she admitted she needed help!
This reminds me of that Elton John NPR interview on Fresh Air, when he told Terry Gross, “In 1990, I spoke three little words ‘I need help’ and my life changed for the better. I got sober.” Good for Kaley for having the strength to be humble and ask for help when she needed it.
As for Flight Attendant, I absolutely LOVED Season One, enjoyed Season Two well enough, and don’t need that show to go on. I am excited to see KC play other roles. All of her upcoming projects sound terrific!
I liked the first season a lot, but I’m struggling to get through season 2. I probably won’t finish it.
I haven’t watched TFA yet but in the header photo it says she’s nominated for a comedy series. And in this post and the comments everyone is talking about how dark the story is…….I’m confused
I really applaud her being able to ask for help. Many people can’t do that, myself included sometimes. Admitting that and asking for help is necessary and in some cases can save a life.
I also appreciate her talking about this publicly, because there was a lot of “yay girl boss!” type media coverage of her producing this show (which was well deserved as it’s a good show and a huge career jump for her) and for many it would be tempting to maintain that veneer.
A bad marriage where you never move in with your husband is stress, then divorce stress on top of work stress. It’s a killer. Without getting help with your mental health, it’s got to be horrible. I hope others seek help after seeing what Kaley did.