Anne Hathaway: ‘There is tremendous pressure to be likable when you are a woman’

Elle Magazine’s annual Women in Hollywood issue always features multiple covers and multiple cover interviews. Anne Hathaway is one of the WiH honorees, and she has an awards-bait film this season, Armageddon Time. Anne is currently flourishing – she’s an in-demand actress, an in-demand fashionista and she’s mom to two little boys, Jonathan and Jack. The days of “Hathahate” are over and everyone now sees Anne as one of the best actresses of her generation. You can read the Elle piece here. Some highlights:

Her show-stopping red carpet moment at Cannes this year: “You plant seeds in your life and then there come these moments where you harvest them—Cannes felt like a little bit of a harvest. In the beginning of my career, I was so worried about messing up that I missed a lot of great moments because I was so stressed out. I’m at a point in my life now where I know having a first time at something remarkable like that—it’s the only time it ever happens. And being in a place where I could enjoy it felt like a really positive development.”

The Hathahate a decade ago: “I have worked too hard on seeing myself with kinder eyes to give away my peace to those who haven’t found it for themselves yet. So I do my best to not be afraid of what others might say and just focus on enjoying my life.”

On the role that changed it all: “The Princess Diaries, of course. But actually, the role that changed everything, above all, was Rachel Getting Married. In my life and my career. Because [director] Jonathan Demme showed me the type of person that that I wanted to be, the type of artist that I wanted to be, and the type of life that I wanted to build. I hadn’t really had clarity on that before. And that part—I’d never played a lead like that. It was my first time playing someone complicated, where I got to bring my fullest understanding of compassion to playing someone who’s really tricky. I found that’s actually my favorite type of role to play: somebody who other people have kind of given up on, and then I get to love them and show them to the world. I’d been a sweet actress. I’d been a cute actress. I’d been a fashionable actress. But suddenly, I was a real actress.”

On working on the all-female Ocean’s 8: “My first day of shooting was the day after the 2016 election. We all got our hair and makeup done in the morning and then watched Hillary’s concession speech—and then cried, and then redid our hair and makeup, and then worked a 20-hour day. Because women are really tough. I remember looking around going, Wait, why have I never been here before? Like, why has it taken this long into my career to have this many women on set? And then I remember having a distinct feeling: Oh, this is what it’s like to be a man in Hollywood. Wherever they go, they’re in a pack; there’s so much ease in this. And I just wanted more of it. I thought, I have to make this an intention in my career. To work with other women and to create opportunities for as many women to work together.”

Her only-in-Hollywood moment: “I had to have eye surgery, and when I came out of it, one of the nurses was like, ‘Oh, look who’s right next to you.’ And it was Jane Lynch. I was hopped up on the drugs, and I was like, ‘Well hello, Jane Lynch!’ And she was so warm, and I think we were both high. It was just one of those moments—only in Hollywood do you come out of surgery and see one of the funniest women in the world next to you. It was instant love. I wanted to ask her so many questions, but I couldn’t manage any words other than hello.”

On ambition: “I am ambitious, and I think that’s great. When you are not born into the life that you would like to have for yourself, you have to be ambitious. I have a very easy relationship with it. I love that I’m hardworking. I love that I know how to be professional. And I love that I have really big dreams and goals for myself. Where it falls for me is that men are by and large defined by their work, their talent, and the success they create. And if a successful man is in any way less than likable, he is given greater latitude to just exist as himself. I feel like there is tremendous pressure to be likable when you are a woman, or you risk being misunderstood and mistreated. And I think women are punished more harshly for their perceived transgressions. Female ambition is more often perceived as transgressive.”

On #MeToo, five years later: “We’ve seen the beginning of the industry becoming safer. It requires constant vigilance, particularly because we are still at the beginning and because we have such a long way to go, but the removal of the worst actors was a really significant step. The creation of space for women’s voices, and then the recognition that the first voices that were favored were usually white—that needed to be corrected as well.”

[From Elle]

“I feel like there is tremendous pressure to be likable when you are a woman, or you risk being misunderstood and mistreated.” That’s true of Hollywood and every profession, really. Even in corporate America and in politics, women have to be likable (but not too likable), ambitious (but not too ambitious), smart (but not too smart), pretty (but not too pretty). It’s insane. Anne has dealt with that since she was like 20 years old too, as soon as she became Princess Mia, there was an expectation that she had to be safe, likable, a certain kind of movie star. Although I agree with her, Rachel Getting Married changed everything for her. That was the first film I saw with Anne where I thought “oh wow, she’s a real actress.”

Photos courtesy of Cover Images, cover courtesy of Elle.

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47 Responses to “Anne Hathaway: ‘There is tremendous pressure to be likable when you are a woman’”

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  1. Brassy Rebel says:

    You forgot “tough but not too tough” and “strong yet vulnerable”. Our society forces women to tie themselves in knots, then wonders what’s wrong with them.

  2. Nicki says:

    She’s so good in Rachel Getting Married. Also love that her kids have normal names.

    • Bettyrose says:

      I don’t know how I missed that. I need to check it out. I’ve always liked Anne, but it was Brokeback Mountain that to me really sold her as a great actress. Her role is relatively small but has great character development.

    • Well Wisher says:

      Anne’s played a character that was so believable unlikable in that movie. Her character illicit all the correct emotions from me as a viewer.

      • Twin Falls says:

        So unlikable but I thought she was so, so gorgeous. It’s the first movie I remember her from, too. I never understood all the hate she got in the years after. I think she’s a great actress and I love what she says about ambition and the perception of women.

      • Bettyrose says:

        Watching it right now, making good use of my extra hour this morning. Screw chores!

  3. Mrs. Smith says:

    Good for Anne!! I’ve always liked her as an actress and I’m glad to hear she is embracing her success.

  4. Louise177 says:

    I didn’t know she had a second child. During the Hathahate she was just really annoying. I don’t remember what the issue was but Anne came off as really cheesy. Kind of like Taylor Swift at award shows.

    • Anners says:

      It was around all the press tours for Les Misérables – she went total theatre nerd kid and was just so so much. She was everywhere – it was a lot. I’m not sure why we do this to women, but it was kind of like Jennifer Lawrence – she just seemed disingenuous and quickly became irritating. But I do like her and I’m happy she’s back.

    • Concern Fae says:

      I remember Hathahate as being Gwynethate 2.0. And Taytayhate is much the same. One link in all three is having parents of means who fully supported their daughters careers. IRL I really noticed a correlation in the Gwyneth version with having creative careers stalling out at the assistant level.

      It’s morphed into “nepo babies” hatred. Which is a whole ‘nother question. Kids have always tended to go into their parent’s field, but it seems like we are getting a wave of replacement level young actors and actresses who are the children of big stars. They are OK, but you can’t help feeling that there was someone better at the auditions.

  5. butterflystella says:

    Ugh just had a conversation recently with my 20-something daughter about being firm, but not too firm, with her boss. He’s at almost retirement age so she’s navigating as best as she can.

    • Juju says:

      The website Ask A Manager has great advice for how to communicate to management and senior leader ship in a way that establishes boundaries but doesn’t come across as aggressive. I wish it was around when I was a 20-something and learning about how to advocate for myself. Good luck to your daughter!

      I really like Anne’s quotes and really love that she’s confident but not cocky. I’m interested to see if we will see more of her during award season.

    • HelloDolly! says:

      As an older millenial, even I have trouble navigating generational differences. An awful email about a few employees (including myself) was accidentally emailed to everyone at my work. Older Boomer generation peers literally said to me, “It was worse when I was your age,” as if telling me to “deal with it” because sexism used to be worse is an effective tactic to build community and produce social change.

      When higher ups forced me to discuss the implications of the email (probably to stave off discriminatrory lawsuits), older generation HR/admin suggested that myself and the other victims of the email could form a committee to suggest equity changes—as if forcing the victims to do the labor of the institutional problems is a positive solution. I could go on. Really difficult for me to see and understand the Boomer POV, honestly.

      • Liz Version 700k says:

        Good Lord HelloDolly I’m sorry that sounds horrible! First you get to deal with the nightmare of that email then YOU HAVE TO FIX IT? That is garbage

      • Eurydice says:

        I can only speak from my own experience, but what made things worse in the past is that there was no threat of lawsuits for sexual harassment and discriminatory practices. Women were not believed and complaints only got you fired, and those few who made it to court were abused and ridiculed. There was no incentive for men to change a system that benefited them. It was only through banding together, the way one would in forming a union, that women could share their issues, could see that they weren’t alone, and could demand the legal safeguards that exist in the system today.

        This is just my perspective and isn’t to say that the system is good now or to diminish your experience. The world has changed and you have to navigate today’s system. Telling you to just suck it up and live with it is wrong.

      • Kelly says:

        The generational differences between millennials and Gen Z with boomers and even some Gen X people in supervisory and leadership roles at my workplace have been a climate issue for a while. The gen x people in leadership roles are almost worse than the boomers. At least the boomers will be gone within a decade, but we’re stuck with the mediocre gen x supervisors for a while.

        I know that not coming across as “nice” has hurt me in the workplace. It caused me to get written up because of a fragile, thin skinned male colleague. The guy is a textbook mediocre white male who has no awareness of his limitations, both personally and professionally. He’s resentful because he thinks he should have a more prestigious job than he has now. He doesn’t take any criticism well and thinks that it’s always others who are at fault.

        His bad attitude is creating an increasingly tense and hostile environment at work. He doesn’t like how our supervisor has a more hands on approach with him because it’s necessary for basic work to get done. They should not have to spend time reminding him to use his outlook calendar, work his schedule, among other things. He also thinks that they are trying to push him out, which is absolutely absurd. Given that most vacant positions take months to get filled if they do get filled, it’s better to work with who is around even if they are duds.

        If he does file a complaint, it will backfire on him. I won’t back him up, because of how he’s treated me in the past. With him, setting boundaries, including telling him no , with his behavior was seen as him being bullied. Also, he’s the one creating the conflict and making things worse.

    • Jaded says:

      @HelloDolly! — A similar thing happened to me years ago. My boss (Sr. VP of HR), who was only about 15 years older than me, sent a really lurid, vulgar email to his buddies at work pretending to be me, all of whom I worked with. I found it, walked out of the office and never came back. I hired a good lawyer and got a year’s salary and benefits. So I get the pressure to be likable and to kowtow to the bossman, but I girded my loins and did what I had to do. If I’d done nothing I wouldn’t have been able to respect myself.

      • Bettyrose says:

        JFC. That’s one of the worst modern era stories I’ve heard. I have worked with several men who behaved like horny teens at work, but they never crossed a line of targeting specific employees with their antics. It was hard to build a complaint based on off hand childish jokes (despite their frequency) which was frustrating. Imagine if I’d gone around making small penis jokes at work. Male tears would’ve flown and HR would’ve been all over it, but women know better.

      • HelloDolly! says:

        Hey @Jaded! Love this story! I am going to live vicariously through you, hahaha. Kudos to you.

        Honestly, I was an untenured professor who had just had a baby when the whole email debacle happened to me. Honestly, I was too exhausted to do anything but try to get sleep and feel well-adjusted at the time. I also am not rich and have student debt and needed the money from my job. If I had a financial cushion to fall back on, you bet I would have!

    • Alheli says:

      I’ve veen also experiencing the downside of not being ‘nice’. Meaning refusing to do extra work that is not compensated in any way, so underperforming employees keep their jobs and management can pretend that they’re doing theirs by ensuring ‘the team’ is productive. Meaning not degrading to entertain freeloading, abuse or toxicity out of politeness. Meaning paying back with high interest rates when someone tries to do my dirty, instead of ‘showing class’ by offering the other cheek. Meaning not indulging the personal fantasies enjoyed by people who see themselves under a million of flattering light bulbs. I’m repeated that I must ‘understand and assist’ which will never be advised to a man.

  6. Lens says:

    What I appreciated after reading the article was it was all about the work and if they mentioned her husband (who is a stay at home dad I believe?) and her kids I missed it. That usually is the case with male actors but not female ones, or at least the emphasis that is placed on it. What I didn’t like was all the mention of her fashion choices. I don’t mind that at all on Celebitchy.com (for the record I liked everything except the horrendous pink thing) but that’s not her work, do it on an article about her stylist. I never hated Hathaway – her pretension seemed too theater geek awkward to hate and nothing like the real eye rolling pretentiousness GOOP or Laura Dern deliver in their interviews.

    • Eurydice says:

      I don’t mind the few sentences about her fashion choices. They were specifically about Cannes, which is basically a giant trade show, and fashion is important to the marketing of the films and actors – it’s like the costumes in a film.

  7. Juxtapoze says:

    What a palate cleanser from today’s Drake article! Thanks Anne, I needed this.

  8. Well Wisher says:

    Talent always wins out, happy to see Anne thrive and loves her use of fashion lately.
    Just beautiful.

  9. movie fan says:

    I remember her hosting the Oscars with James Franco. He so obviously half-assed it and she worked overtime to make up for his lack of enthusiasm. Yet she got all the hate and he walked away bigger than ever. It still makes me mad.

    • outoftheshadows says:

      Don’t worry, movie fan. He got his in the end.

    • Bettyrose says:

      OMG I’d forgotten that. It was serious cringe. And who hasn’t watched the office cool guy derail the actual work a woman has done?

    • Christine says:

      I will never forget that. James Franco was clearly high and didn’t give a sh*t, and Anne Hathaway worked double-time to try and save them both. He got zero blow back, everyone hated Anne Hathaway the next day. It was the most patently unfair thing I’ve ever seen with my own eyeballs, until Meghan.

    • Josephine says:

      I really disagree with that – I remember the tide was quite clearly against him and people recognized that she tried to make up for his lack of work ethic. It may not have hurt him in the long run, but everyone seemed to know that he did absolutely nothing and screwed up massively. I don’t get her as an actress at all (she always seems like the exact same person in every role to me) but I’m really enjoying her recent fun with fashion.

  10. LovelyRita says:

    I’ll say it. I’ve always LOVED her and never understood the Hathahate. She’s always come across to me as extremely talented and charismatic, but also smart, sincere and thoughtfully aware. Maybe it was easier for me to just love her because she’s so much younger, so anything cheesy was seen through a lens of allowing for her to be growing and maturing. Anyway, she’s someone I’ll watch in anything and will always root for. Go, Anne!

  11. Nicegirl says:

    This post really resonates with me. 🖖 tysm

    • Susan says:

      Agreed. I feel like she was talking directly to me about my life/work/head space right now. Funny.

    • Otaku fairy says:

      The point she made about women being mistreated and punished more harshly for their transgressions is something that people are aware of, but can’t usually see while it’s happening. There’s usually a good 2-15-year waiting period before people can handle it being pointed out that reactions to a woman’s behavior were just as bad as or worse than what she did to annoy them.

  12. Ellie says:

    I really enjoy Anne nowadays! I feel like she’s only getting better as an actress AND more beautiful too as she ages. I just watched WeCrashed and she was great as Rebekah Neumann, an awful character but she gave depth and compassion to her.

  13. Lizzie Bathory says:

    “I have worked too hard on seeing myself with kinder eyes to give away my peace to those who haven’t found it for themselves yet.”

    This is such a firm but generous insight. I’ve always liked Anne. She’s one of the most versatile actresses I’ve ever seen & it sounds like she’s also done some good work in her personal life.

  14. Anna says:

    She touched something that is a huge topic itself. Women are always too much or not enough.

    Meghan had and episode about a “crazy woman” archetype and there was also a topic that hard-working woman is frowned upon, like you cannot say you were working hard, going to thousands of castings before you got your big break. No no, you have to be going shopping and being spot by an agent, not even looking for a career. Another example of negating our own agenda, we can’t work towards our own goals. Only wait for others to decide for us that we are given a chance. This is so exhausting.

  15. Normades says:

    Great interview, everything she says is spot on.
    I’m loving the Annenaissance. I think she’s been working with Law Roach. She’s always been beautiful but now she’s fabulous. She’s confident and feeling herself and it shows.

  16. Penelope says:

    Just came to say I’ve always loved Anne and y’all gotta check out her weird indie Canadian movie “Colossal.” You aren’t complete until you see it.

    • Dee Kay says:

      I loved Colossal!!! And Rachel Getting Married is one of my all-time fave films. However, I just could not stand the WeCrashed series, maybe b/c I’d already seen the documentary and Hathaway and Leto didn’t even come close to the pretentious weirdness of the actual real-life couple. I’ll at least try to watch anything Hathaway is in, though — she’s a (usually) great actress imo.

    • Dee N. says:

      YES, I was going to mention “Colossal”! It has that crazy premise and yet is the most effective and frightening depiction of toxic masculinity I’ve ever seen. And the way Anne’s character fights back (after trying to survive by being accommodating, in a way that feels stomach-churningly familiar to many of us, I’ll wager) is fantastic.

  17. anon1 says:

    So many victims in hollyweird.

  18. AnneL says:

    Anne is stunning and very talented. I also love that her kids have classic names. Nothing against people using unusual or unique names, but sometimes famous people go a little too far with them. I’m looking at you, Grimes.

    I’m past my own minor “Hathahate” phase. The only thing from the Les Miz era I can’t let go or excuse is how she handled the gown situation with Amanda Seyfried. They were at rehearsal for the Oscars when Amanda showed Anne a picture of her gown, which was apparently by the same designer and/or the same color or something. Anne had enough of a bad reaction that Amanda ended up being upset enough to leave rehearsal.

    I think Amanda is just as talented and beautiful as Anne, but hasn’t had as meteoric a career. I’m glad she’s flourishing so much now. I’m glad they’re both flourishing, but when it comes to GownGate, I’m team Amanda. That was not OK.