While appearing on The Endless Honeymoon podcast, Dax Shepard said his daughter Delta, seven, had a lot to thank her sister Lincoln, nine, for. Namely her existence. Dax said he and wife Kristen Bell wanted to stop after one kid because three was the perfect sized family for their busy lifestyles. But they realized having a second child was best for Lincoln. So they had Delta, whom of course they adore.
Dax Shepard is sharing details behind the decision to have a second child.
During an appearance on the Endless Honeymoon podcast, Shepard, 47, opened up about his two daughters — Lincoln, 9, and Delta, 7 — both of whom he shares with wife Kristen Bell.“We did not want a second child,” he explained to a couple who called in for advice about growing their family. “It’s a bizarre conversation to start because [a family unit of three] is perfect, and it’s so much easier. You can take that little Subway sandwich anywhere, as I’m sure you guys are doing.”
The Parenthood alum explained that as Lincoln started growing, he and Bell realized it may be beneficial to have a second child so she can have a “playmate,” not just on their travels, but for the long haul of life.
“One is, we travel a lot. It’s not fair to bring this little human everywhere we go and deal only with adults. Like, we owe it to her to give her a playmate that travels with us everywhere,” he explained. “We love [Lincoln] enough to do something we don’t really wanna do, which is have a second, because we were so absolutely happy with just the one.”
Another reason for the decision, he later quipped, was to minimize the chances for Lincoln to become “spoiled” as an only child.“Our kids already are so privileged beyond belief,” he said. “It rattles both of us being from very, you know, modest backgrounds. So, to make the spoiled bitch, my first born, live in the same room with another person [when she gets older] and have to share everything, like, I needed [Lincoln to learn] the force of compromise and sharing discomfort because I wasn’t going to give it to her any other way. So we just thought it would be really helpful to make her a better person, to have to deal with someone else.”
Another piece of advice Shepard gave was, should anyone decide to have a second child, to do it “as quick as possible.” His own daughters were born 20 months apart.
“Our kids are under two years apart, and for a minute that was difficult because you know, when you’re 5 and the baby is 3, that’s no fun,” he said. “I will say the corner we’ve turned is, like, now they party. Not only do they party together, they’re united against us, which I love.”
He added, “If I’m giving it to one of the girls, the other one comes over, ‘You’re not being nice to Lincoln. You didn’t listen to what she said.’ And I’m like, ‘That’s right. That’s your role. You guys gang up and kill me. It’s you two against the world.’ That stuff, I think, the lesser the age gap the easier it is to achieve.”
I know plenty of you have already dismissed all of this because you dislike both Kristen and Dax, so – mm’kay. For those of you still with me, obviously the only real family planning advice is to do what you’re comfortable with. My take on what Dax said is mixed. I understand his logic about one child being easier to travel with. When they’re young, the difference of traveling with one child vs. two young children is huge. But when they get older, it’s not an issue, they manage themselves. (It is, however, a lot more expensive!) I agreed with him on the playmate thing and wanted more than one kid for that reason. However, that was because I knew I wasn’t going to be enough for my kid. I know plenty of single kids who loved being only children. It’s not sure Dax’s universal logic. The spoiled brat point I don’t get. I would think that’s on them not to spoil however many kids they have.
As for age spacing, meh. I had my kids close together due to my age. They’re best friends. My mother had my brothers and I with years between us because of blood type issues. We’re best friends. All involved looked out for each other, regardless of how close or far they were spaced. I’ve always felt the relationship of the siblings was the personalities involved (including the parents) and not the age gap.
Photo credit: Instagram
I don’t think they understand this isn’t the story they think it is. It’s not cute or funny to say you really didn’t want another child but had her anyway to keep the other one occupied. Gross.
Yeah, that is a truly terrible and damaging thing to say. And calling his 9 year old a “spoiled b*tch” is so inappropriate.
Agreed. There are so many other ways he could have framed and phrased his thoughts on their decision. My main takeaway is that I’m glad these are not my parents.
Seriously, WTF? Not everything that pops into your head needs to be said outloud.
These two need to STFU. This is a horrible story. You never know how a
child will interpret this. Potentially, she could feel unwanted for years to come even though her parents love her.
Yeah. There are plenty of parents that do the same thing but I don’t think it needs to be voiced out loud. Somethings are better left unspoken.
Also has anyone listened to this episode? Is Kristen there or is it just Dax because for all we know Kristen wanted to keep mum about this whole thing. I just get the feeling that he might be the one blabbing to get attention for his podcast. Since that’s all he’s really got going for him
This raises the importance of maintaining minimal secrecy, intimacy and privacy about family matters, even though social medias are a hindrance to such necessary boundaries.
I wish kristen Bell and her family the best. Yet I can’t overlook the fact that she’s the one who started the trend of oversharing and disclosing family secrets, by saying out loud that her grown daughter was still peeing the bed and that she wouldn’t bathe her children until they reeked like mouldy sardines or fungus on a rat corpse.
This revealed how abysmal celebrities’s disconnect from every man’s interactions and expectations is. In the wake of kristen Bell’s unwanted confessions, the kutchers-Kunis started releasing their own filfth out to the public, and the latest below-the-belt oversharing came from Megh Trainor: these people mistakenly believe we will find them relatable and endearing because in their minds, we can only be coarse dirty peasants.
Looking forward for the reluctantly wanted daughter to overshare what it feels like being the spare to the beloved first one.
Correction #To oversharing#
I get what he’s trying to say, and I get that he really loves both his children. But he prefaced what he said by saying he didn’t want the second child. Why say that? Why put it that way? Why not just say that you were satisfied with the family’s size at first but wanted your child to have a sibling. Why add that it’s because you didn’t want your first to become spoiled, and you wanted this and that for your first born? The way he phrases it it’s as if to say that the second born has the first to thank for her life. It’s a bit too much.
I don’t know anything about these people and it sounds like an obnoxious thing to put out there about your second born. “You only exist because we wanted things to be a certain way for your sister”?
yeah there was a better way to get the idea across than this way. A little more tact since you’re talking about your daughters here.
I cringed because someday soon, their youngest will read that she wasn’t actually wanted for herself, she was created in service to her older sister.
That was my thought too – she’s going to read that someday!
He just seems too in love with the sound of his own voice to realize what he’s saying has consequences.
In their neverending quest to get attention from the world, do they not realize that their kids will someday read all of the stuff that they put out there? Why is it necessary for him to state that they only had their 2nd kid for the benefit of the 1st?
In the dictionary, under the word “oversharing,” a picture of them should be displayed. Slapping covers over the faces of the kids in publicly-shared pics doesn’t matter if they share such intimate details about them.
This is why I roll my eyes when these two make a fuss about not posting pictures of their daughters faces. Like I’m glad they respect that aspect of the kids privacy, but how are interviews and quotes like this NOT invasive? I think their quotes on parenting are sad.
I know. So much personal info sharing! Too much.
Hecate has it 100% right that we are apt to jump all over the quote because of the source, but what he said isn’t that bizarre or hurtful. I’ve seen other non-famous people say that really wanted their child to have a sibling.
And in terms of celebrity oversharing, in 10-15 years, so so many children are going to read quotes or see videos of mom or dad saying they considered aborting them (yeah you know who I mean), or how Dad would only pay child support if Mom didn’t date anyone else. They will also read all the gossip that they were a trap for Dad, that Dad / Mom didn’t really want them, that Mom used a surrogate because she was lazy and didn’t want to lose her body, that they are not really their Dad’s kid, that they are a babydoll or an actor, and so on. There’s sadly a high threshold for the crappy things celebrity kids will read one day.
Replying to my own comment to say I missed the “spoiled bitch” part of the article.
Saying that you didn’t want a second child but had one so your daughter could have a sibling = okay, because people have kids for lots of reasons. It’s how much you love them once they are here that matters.
Calling your daughter a spoiled bitch in a public forum, even if it is in a joking way = not okay. Not cool, dude.
Spare
And won’t that kid know it when they’re older. This is a vile thing to do; put it out there for evermore. It reminds of a British author over here who is always writing crap articles, mainly for magazines and sometimes even the Mail. She wrote something about how every parent has a favourite, and she definitely does. Bad enough. Then she gave sufficient information for someone in that family to easily work out which one it was – something about the birth being the easiest of the lot and the baby being calmer (it’s a long time ago, so a bit hazy). Then there’s Tana Ramsay who years ago said in an interview that she had a good relationship with one young daughter but not the another. It boggles. And it will hurt.
I don’t have kids but I work with them. Humour works really differently with them. I get Dax is a comedian (?) and I’m sure he prides himself on his daughters being little comedy geniuses but in my experience kids don’t get exaggerated irony or sarcasm, especially kids their age!
I work with teenagers and even the ones I have a very trusting relationship with, I just don’t use sarcasm or joke about their lives ever, if I want to lighten the mood with a joke, I will keep it to self-deprecation, which he isn’t doing here at all. Obviously I don’t know his daughters, but the kids I work with would not take these comments lightly. Yuck.
To add to the conversation, just because you have more than one child doesn’t mean one or both won’t be spoiled. With their money they could easily spoil both their children.
I am super protective of my kids’ privacy online, as I know they are, so I really don’t understand hiding her face but posting her in a bathing suit. Alas…it’s these two.
Agreed.
They over share intimate details about their children!
But their faces, that’s the line. It’s stupid.
I can’t with either of them. I feel sorry for their kids.
You’re right – they are only protective of their faces. Everything else is disclosed without their knowledge or consent.
I get not showing their faces, it keeps them sort of “anonymous” where they won’t be recognized out in the world. But I wish they were as strict with their privacy in other ways, because they share way too many personal details.
Except that when they’re out in the world, they are with their very recognizable parents who discuss their toileting, sleeping, bathing, and called them spoiled bitches…so what’s the point of adding a sticker?
I don’t use my kids’ faces, names, ages, or genders… Don’t even get me started on influencers and their Content Children.
It is is so bizarre that the people who fought the tabloids because they “care” so much about their kids’ privacy have disclosed so much about their kids. I am so grossed out by how they treat their kids’ lives and existence as just fodder for their careers.
These comments are excellent.
Not every thought needs to be spoken publicly.
I hate celebs who use their kids as their main topic of conversation.
These 2 are not the fab, enlightened, perfect parents they think they are.
No they certainly are not.
I understand the having another child to have someone to grow up with. Tina Fey said something similar except it was so they can have someone with them when her and her husband die. I don’t like Dax Shephard either. With all of the oversharing about potty training after five years old I support hiding the kids’ faces. I understand all children are different I’ll like to see who they look like when they go to college or graduate. Too much sharing. I can’t agree with them on much, but I agree with them on that.
I understand what he’s trying to say…..these two just have awful ways of phrasing EVERYTHING. Either that, or they KNOW how they’re saying it, and they do it for clicks/publicity. Back to their point: I always assumed I’d have 2-3 kids, but the reality of what having a kid means showed me there’s no way I can do the giving birth and infant thing again. I am going to be forever sad my daughter doesn’t have a sibling, but I can’t. The toll on my body due to delivery and the no sleep, endless crying…. Not to mention the immense cost of daycare, trips to the doctor, saving for college, added expense when traveling, cost of food these days…. My husband and I are fairly privileged. I can’t imagine how people living on a lot less than us afford daycare for more than one kid.
Same here. I am one of three siblings who I love so very much, I always thought I’d have at least three but the reality of one has made me team one and done so far. My son is still 15 months old, but it’s so hard when we live with no family around. At this point and time we can’t do another. No thank you.
I bb have thought about fostering and eventually adopting tho.
“The spoiled bitch” ??!!! Wtf… did he really say that about his little girl. He’s awful. They both are awful. I can’t comprehend this whole conversation. It’s just so gross. Those poor girls will read all of this someday.
I can’t get over that. I stopped reading and just came to the comments after that!! Wtf!? If my husband referred to my BABY GIRL (because he said they are two years apart) as a spoiled b*tch!? Someone would have to physically tear me off of him.
The closest of my brood are my two boys who are 8 years apart. They have similar chill personalities and dry senses of humor. I don’t like to judge other people’s family sizes unless they’re like the Duggars, so whatever they decided works for them.
*sigh* The reason so many of us dismiss most of what these two share is because most of what they share is bs! So the second they are quote we go “Oh this again.” and chances are, that’s the right response.
Anyway. My issue with them isn’t necessarily what they’re saying. It’s that sometimes, you lie for your kids’ sake. Just lie. Just say “We loved having our first so much so we wanted another one.” There. Done.
My parents always told us (my mom still does) that they desperately wanted kids and had it worked out sooner, they would have had more. That’s nice to hear, I love that. My dad always wanted a boy but when I had arrived, he loved having a girl so much that he wanted another girl and when my sister arrived, he was super happy (as was I). I’m sure this is the truth but even if they had hesitated after me, what is the point of telling my sister??? Discuss it with friends etc.
These two are over thinkers with over inflated egos, and who consider themselves super smart, and therefore need to share their (obviously super wise) decisions with the world in a hyperbolic way. Emphasis on hyperbole and intensity of tone and speech.
Someone who doesn’t want to have kids doesn’t do it. That’s it. Whereas they decided that it would be best for their lifestyle to have one kid and when said kid emerged into their lives, they decided it would be nice for them to have a sibling. That’s it, I fixed it for them. Sorry it’s not sensationalist Dax, but it might be better for your kid’s future sanity.
My boys know they’re birth control babies lol. I think this feeds their ego in that they think they’re extra strong or something lmao. It’s weird when my 31yo takes my almost 17yo out. And when all three of them (31, 25, 17) get together during holidays, it’s quite the reminder how frakking old this decade mom is. 😱
My son was 3 when my mom passed away. When she was dying, she strongly encouraged my husband and me to have another baby – she worried about my son feeling alone if something happened to us. Weeks after she passed, we found out we were expecting again. Our sons are now teenagers, exactly 4 years apart. They are incredibly close and really look after each other. I’m so happy that our completely unplanned, unexpected second kid showed up. When I lost my parents, I was grateful to have 4 other siblings to navigate the grief.
Yeah, my older sister is a “oops, the sponge didn’t work” and I’m a “one time won’t matter.” It doesn’t make me feel less loved — my parents made it clear that they adored us, just, you know, weren’t expecting us quite so early.
Why do people assume siblings will be close their whole lives? Many drift apart due to many reasons. One child always feels less wanted/loved, especially when you make it known you preferred one gender over the other. Sorry, I’m just speaking from experience.
I agree. My sister and I are 3 years apart. We were closer when we were younger but now as adults, we barely talk. She became toxic and narcissistic as an adult and I don’t want nor need that in my life. I will always love her but I have to distance myself from her for the sake of my own mental health.
Yes. Family can be so toxic. They think because you share DNA they have a right to be abusive towards you and you have to just sit there and take it. Nope, not having it. I have distanced myself from certain family members as well. My own mental health is way more important.
Exactly this. I’m an only child, and sometimes my mom will lament that she feels bad she didn’t give me siblings growing up and that I don’t have those built-in friends as an adult. I LOVE being an only child and always point out to her — why do you assume we would be close? My parents aren’t close to their siblings, nor are my friends close to theirs. I’ve seen very few examples of siblings that actually remain close through adulthood.
Neither of my parents were close with their siblings…and they came from very large families. Siblings can be horrible to each other.
I’ve heard a ton of parents say the exact same thing in a nicer way, so this comment doesn’t phase me. I also think the “spoiled” thing is tougher to combat the wealthier and more privileged someone gets, so I don’t fault him for that either.
The “b*itch” thing, though…that’s awful. I know people have more venom for Kristen than Dax (because she’s a woman), but every once in a while his mask slips and you can see something really nasty inside him. This was one of those moments.
I also think a lot of her weirdness is her reacting to him. Hopefully she wakes up one day and leaves with the girls.
I liked her a lot more, and she seemed a lot less over the top, before they got together. Or before he had big success, I should say.
“his mask slips…”
So true!
YES, i was really bothered by the b*tch comment too! I just don’t think it’s ever ok to use that word to refer to your child in a public comment, no matter how indirectly or hypothetically. (Maybe ok in your head or in the privacy of your therapist’s office? but definitely not in this context!!)
Make these pathological oversharers stop. Kids are gonna be in therapy for a lifetime.
Mind blown that there are people out there that will call in for family planning advice from DAX SHEPARD. Why…
Yeah, I came into this ready to defend their decision because I have a child who was conceived because her sibling said she wanted a baby sibling. Obviously, we felt up to the job of adding another person and went for it and we’re happy we did, but that’s a huge difference from “we had a baby we didn’t want so our kid would have someone to play with and gosh, it’s awesome that it worked out and we like that one, too.” The way he frames it is gross, not cute. One child isn’t here in service of the other.
As a third child who knows they were wanted and as a parent of two children I just ultimately do not understand this. I don’t understand the idea of having another child FOR your first child and I don’t understand sharing this kind of thing for your child to know. It’s bonkers!
These 2 aren’t hip. And they *maybe* don’t have the universal opinions they think they have.
They both really annoy me. I agree..why take parenting advice from either of them. This is also stated from such a place of privilege. Some people want more children and try for years and are unable. Some families have two children and tragedy happens and they are left with one or no children.
Good for them, I guess?
Bell has said in interviews that she never wanted children and that her daughters fight constantly and don’t like each other, so once again take everything these 2 people say with an eye roll. Shepard is the dictionary definition of a narcissist and Bell is his enabler.
i don’t think his actual point is horrible, but like…. this is the sort of topic where you have to be so, so, so careful with your words, because your kids could find this some day! I really don’t think he said this well at all, there’s stuff in there that could be very hurtful for both kids. If you’re going to talk about your kids, either do it anonymously, or choose every word with the idea of your kid hearing it.
Calling your 9 year old daughter a “spoiled bitch” in a public interview is really….bad. And a huge red flag.
I could see if it was between two parents who were frustrated and relaxing to each other at the end of the day only talking to themselves and not sharing with anyone else (and even then…but yeah) but the context of it here is alarming.
He’s an insensitive moron. I feel so sorry for the younger child having to read this word vomit some day.
Most people simply say they wanted to give their child a sibling, and don’t say they didn’t want another kid so publicly. That’s the issue.
I also hate the assumption that only children are spoiled. The only children I know are very giving, and also very interesting after having a childhood where they had to entertain themselves.
Also, I don’t make my kids share everything. There’s certain stuff that’s only theirs and they’re still good humans.
Thank you! This myth that only children are “spoiled” is incredibly hurtful to only children. When I was a kid, other kids and their parents and my teachers almost all said something nasty to me and started treating me differently when they learned I was an only child.
The only person I know who was spoiled as a kid was a boy who had a younger sister. He got everything he ever wanted. He was allowed to behave however he wanted. And his sister was given almost nothing and treated like a servant.
As an only child from a toxic and dangerous home, I am glad there are siblings. Dax can spew whatever hatred he wants and call it comedy, but he will answer for it later. Children remember everything.
I get his reasoning, to a point. But boy does he overstep the line. “Spoiled b**ch?!” It’s not just kind of shocking to me that he said it out loud, but that he’s even thinking it? She’s a kid!
There is a Facebook Info page in my neighborhood where people post questions and advice on everything from where to get custom cookies for parties to doctor references to alerts about break-ins. Most of the posts are harmless and helpful, but the complaining and oversharing some people do is ridiculous. One person posted – NOT anonymously – about her school-age son having bed-wetting issues. If you want advice on that, by all means ask for it, but don’t put your name on it!
There’s nothing shameful about having that particular challenge, but no kid wants his classmates and friends potentially finding out about it. Poor kid. I feel for him and for Dax’s daughters too.
How did I ever think Kristen Bell was cool? This over sharing is too much. Not cool at all. And for him to call his 9 year old daughter a spoiled b**** that it so wrong. I feel sorry for those kids. I hope the daughters never take to heart the things these two say about them. He has no class.
They have no concept of “bubble thoughts.” If they thought it, it MUST be shared, no matter who is hurt or embarrassed (even themselves, but anything for fame, right?)
These guys are the worst. Their children are going to need therapy, especially the one that was called a spoiled biotch!,
I have so much anxiety surrounding my first and only baby. I lost 3 pregnancies before her and then went through infertility. The anxiety resulting from that presents itself in everything she does and it can be debilitating. I am working very hard in therapy to be the most present mom I can be for her. I know plenty of only children who grew up to be amazing adults. My mental health matters. My daughter deserves her mommy to be mentally healthy. I don’t want another baby. I just want to be the best mom I can be for my daughter and if that means no more babies, so be it.