I haven’t seen Ariana Grande in a while. She’s been working hard, just off my radar. She’s got her makeup line out and she’s doing some music. Mostly she’s filming Wicked with Cynthia Erivo. What I love is it looks like she and Cynthia really dig each other. Not only is that important for the Glinda/Elphaba relationship, I love when work relationships become close friendships. Anyway, Ariana has been keeping up on her social media, I just haven’t been paying attention. But I guess others have because they’ve been giving her a hard time. People have been concern-trolling Ari about eating disorders and other health issues based on her figure. It’s gotten so bad, that Ariana recorded a rare message to TikTok suggesting that we should all be less comfortable commenting on other people’s bodies. I am really sorry Ariana was forced to do this, but I love what she said.
Ariana Grande hopes that by being open and vulnerable about her body some good might come from it.
On Tuesday, the “thank u, next” singer took to TikTok to speak about comments she has received about her appearance.
“I just wanted to address your concerns about my body and talk a little bit about what it means to be a person with a body and to be seen and to be paid such close attention to,” she shared. “I think we could be, I think we should be, gentler and less comfortable commenting on people’s bodies, no matter what — if you think you’re saying something good or well-intentioned, whatever it is, healthy, unhealthy, big, small, this, that, sexy, nonsense — we just should really work towards not doing that as much.”
“I know personally, for me, the body that you’ve been comparing my current body to was the unhealthiest version of my body,” she continued. “I was on a lot of antidepressants and drinking on them and eating poorly. And at the lowest point of my life when I looked the way you consider my ‘healthy,’ that in fact wasn’t my healthy.”
The Nickelodeon alum also pointed out that even comments meant to be complimentary aren’t ideal because you “never know what someone is going through.”
“Even if you are coming from a loving place and a caring place, that person probably is working on it or has a support system that they are working on it with and you never know,” she said. “So be gentle with each other and with yourselves.”
Grande pleading with fans to rethink how bodies are talked about speaks to a larger societal issue. As Janet Lydecker, professor of psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine, previously told Yahoo Life: “Just the preoccupation that Americans have with weight, and with weight being part of attractiveness, and a source of power, particularly, but not exclusively for women, there’s a lot of pressure that we all feel in this culture to manipulate our bodies.”
I posted Ari’s full TikTok below. We’re starting to talk about this more, about not commenting on weight either losing it or gaining it. It is, dare I say shocking, exactly how comfortable people are discussing weight. I had a person I know solely from waving at them as we pass each other on our morning walks stop me to ask me how much weight I’d lost. Then they called their wife over to tell them my answer. I know they thought they were complimenting me, but what happens when I gain the weight back? I included the comment above from Janet Lydecker because she nails it so precisely. So much is attributed to how we wear weight, it’s no wonder we cannot break the cycle of abuse we put our bodies through in the attempt to obtain what someone else told us we should look like.
Ari’s point about not knowing what the ‘compliment’ is supporting is important. As she said, the figure others wanted her to have was when she was at a low point. Kelly Clarkson said the same thing, only in reverse. When she’s skinny, she’s usually unhappy. To hold a silhouette as that woman’s ideal reinforces all the wrong things for her. Not to mention – who they hell cares whether they have the waistline you want them to have. Ariana is filming Wicked. I assume it’s physically intense, she’s probably in top form right now. Plus, this is a career high for her, so way to take her light. I thrilled for her. She looks happy and lovely. Again, I’m sorry Ari had to make this video. But she really hit her mark, here.
@arianagrande ♡
Photo credit> Instagram and B4859/Avalon
Her face looks so gaunt. She doesn’t even look like herself. Hope she’s okay.
Did you even read what she said? You have LITERALLY just proved her point.
Ummmm…that is EXACTLY what she is talking about. 🙄 Did you listen AT ALL???
She is right, you never know what is going on with a person. When I began my descent into anorexia after college, I was praised for losing weight/being so thin. That just fueled my eating disorder. She is right; stop commenting on other people’s bodies. It’s none of your business.
What Ariana is saying is correct — we shouldn’t be so comfortable talking about other people’s bodies. But at the same time … I don’t really believe the explanation she gives about her current thinness (she probably shouldn’t have given one).
honestly, I think she looks mostly the same as she always has. she’s always been extremely thin and tiny. as someone who is about her size, we’re talking about probably a 5 to 10 lb difference.
Except she doesn’t, which is what is fueling the comments. I’m torn, bc she does look gaunt (even her hair seems to be shedding), so the comments could come from a place of genuine concern, but she’s also right that—even if something was horribly wrong with her—what gives anyone the right to comment on it?
While I appreciate the sentiment this is a woman who famously fat-shamed Americans. So does she only have problems with body shaming when it’s directed at her?
Can she not grow and mature? I agree, there was a time when I HATED her, she seemed so entitled. The licking the donut thing really annoyed me. But wasn’t that a while ago? I’m always conflicted when we hold someone to something they said or did years ago, because I know I have changed over the years.
Sure she can. But if she is going to put a post like this out there then she needs to acknowledge her OWN past problematic behavior.
@Ameerah
She apologized for that. So what more do you want? You never did anything that you regret in the past?
We all have done things we regret. And I am sure she does regret what she said because she got a lot of flack for it – which is WHY she apologized. But I do think that when you have a history like this perhaps you aren’t the right person to be the spokesperson for being against body shaming. I think it would have been more genuine if she had simply directed it at the comments about HER body. Or at the very least acknowledged what she said in the past and what she’s learned about body shaming since then.
I think this issue is so deeply embedded in us it will be difficult to ever be free. Look at the comments. How we look will never stop mattering. It has mattered since the dawn of time. That being said I do believe as a society we have begun to recognize these issues. At least we are talking about it.
Yep, this exactly. I’ve tried to be kinder to myself, but it’s easier said than done. As an example, about 2 weeks ago I was trying on bathing suits – which I never loved doing when I was 26 never mind now at 46 – and got so discouraged. I’m at a perfectly fine weight and a part of me knew that I looked cute, but I couldn’t stop wondering how much nicer I could look if I lost 5 lbs or toned up a bit.
I do hope that things will keep changing for the better, not just for celebs but for all of us.
Concern trolling or genuine concern? Maybe people actually care?
Even if they do actually care, if she does have an eating disorder, a bunch of random stranger saying her body looks unhealthy is probably just going to contribute to her body dysmorphia, not suddenly get her to change anything. people can be genuinely concerned but comments on social media mean nothing.
And the comments section just proves her point. While she is problematic and sounds preachy, people are still commenting on her face and body here
When I was literally dying from anorexia I got more praise from strangers and family about how skinny I was. Friends and colleagues teased me and called me skinny minny and many people, strangers included, would come up to me “don’t lose any more weight!”. When I started recovery and gained back the weight people would say “what happened to you?” Or “you got fat”. It was difficult and I stopped being as social. I am ok, but it is a constant battle when I run into people who haven’t seen me since recovery. People should think twice before speaking about others bodies! I agree with Ariana 💯 percent!!
I’m so sorry you went through that. Glad you’re here to share your story.
Concern-trolling individual celebs on their social media is gross, but it’s worth talking among ourselves about obvious and worrying trends.
YES! I’m confused. How we are supposed to discuss any of it because unless we can point out that recently a lot of women (it’s women, let’s be real) have been getting super skinny to the point of distracting me on screen, how do we talk about it? I don’t even want to give examples but it’s been happening quite a bit and there is a definite trend towards the very very skinny again. Except now we’re all supposed to believe these ladies “finally got healthy”. I don’t even know. And while I appreciate that concern trolling is a thing, so is gaslighting. Why am I forced to accept this “healthy” narrative when I KNOW that isn’t the case for most of them?
We keep hearing how impossible it can be to lose weight and that it’s actually not easy and healthy food and excercise isn’t the solution for – apparently – millions of people. But celebs have no issue getting this thin without help. Okay then.
Snap @Emmi, you really articulated what I was trying to get at and we must have been writing at the same time.
My college roommate was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer at 37. She documented her entire process on social media, the good, the bad and the ugly with a strength and dignity that I can’t even explain. At one point she was on a medication that weight loss was a side effect. And her post explained that yes, she would lose weight but please don’t remark on it or say anything about how good she looks because it wasn’t a choice and she wasn’t healthy. I took that with me and I don’t comment on weight loss because unless you know why, it might be a sign someone is dying and you’re just reminding them. She sadly lost her battle at age 42.
I’ve long redirected my concern from any individual celebrity presenting with extreme thinness to the impact on young people who want to emulate their pop culture heroes (including young men following extremely muscular celebrities).
Ariana is not the only current huge-name celeb that is just out there working, living her life, whatever, not harming anybody while being extremely thin, but there’s an undeniable backswing in pop culture (I’m remembering the 90s shows: Ally McBeal, Friends etc) that she is contributing to that should be fair game for discussion.
(On a more snarky note, I was actually most shocked by her speaking voice in this clip- is it some kind of Gaga method acting thing? It’s so jarringly different from all her interviews and videos during the Pete Davidson era where I became aware of her)