Sometimes, I’m actually left utterly aghast with the frenetic crackhead energy of some of the royal commentary in the UK. If you told me that Petronella Wyatt was in a near-constant state of coked-up, posh-accented, stream-of-consciousness delusion, I would believe you, because that’s exactly how she writes. Wyatt has a bug up her bum about Prince Harry and she’s hellbent on spreading her cracked-out lies and delusions far and wide. Wyatt was part of the scheme, last month, to convince everyone that Harry and Meghan were on the verge of divorce. This month, her cracked-out delusions are about how cruel it is for Harry to testify about how Chelsy Davy was stalked and harassed by the British media. That’s not all – Wyatt also wants to convince people that Harry and Boris Johnson are “more alike than you might think.” She’s written two columns in the broke-ass Telegraph about those subjects this week. Here’s part of her exclusive about Chelsy:

How does [Harry] square his gallant protection of one woman with his willingness to throw another to the wolves, and indeed to the tabloids? Pity Chelsy Davy, the Chandleresque blonde whose youthful dalliance with Harry is now known to people who weren’t even born when it happened. Was it right to drag her name into court?

Davy is married, and has a young child. Did it not occur to Harry, who feels every prick of life like a dagger, that revisiting the flora of their affair might distress this blameless person who, unlike Meghan, backed out of the strobe lights? Did he even bother to consult her before he sued?

According to a Davy family friend, he did not. Once again, his willingness to share details about personal relationships with women makes him less Lochinvar than louche. His constant cri de coeur is that no one comprehends how he feels. Well, Harry my boy, I do.

In the meantime, he is inflicting pain on his former girlfriend, something on which both he and his feminist wife would do well to ponder.

[From The Telegraph]

It occurs to me that Wyatt and the rest of them are actually mad that Chelsy Davy hasn’t come out and given them content. She hasn’t given any interviews in years, and she’s literally just raising her child and minding her business. Wyatt couldn’t even get anyone in Chelsy’s family to talk to her – she’s just going off a “Davy family friend,” which could be anyone, even someone at the Telegraph. Anyway, I would guess that Chelsy was much more upset about a tracker being placed on her car and airlines being paid off to reveal her travel info than she is about Harry’s testimony about those subjects.

As for the “Harry and BoJo are alike” piece, it’s possibly even more cracked out than the Chelsy Davy one. I think this part is the crux of Wyatt’s argument:

Born in the US, Johnson believes in the dreams of lucre. The love of money, natural in a prince, now runs in his veins like a bacterial sickness. He was always stingy. When I knew him, his idea of a treat was Pizza Express, which, admittedly, is more Andrew than Harry. Living off the largesse of others, a very Harry habit, it seems has recently enabled Boris to buy a £3 million house in Oxfordshire.

Then there is the lure of beauty. The meretricious charms of a fair one has caused both men travails. Carrie is, in many ways, an aspirant Meghan. She, too, persuaded her husband of the woke virtues: carbon net zero, animal rights, conservation, sustainable fashion. I hear she intends to launch her own lifestyle blog, modelled on Markle’s The Tig. “Carrie loves Meghan, and wants to be a global icon,” said a former Downing Street aide. “She wanted to be like the Princess of Wales, but that was taking it a bit too far.”

[From The Telegraph]

They’re mad that… Harry has money, success, a beautiful wife and liberal politics. And they’re trying to say that Carrie Johnson is trying to be the next Meghan. This bitch is giving me a headache, Jesus.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.