As Carina covered the other day, Dean McDermott tweeted and deleted a divorce announcement about his relationship with Tori Spelling. (Grammed and deleted just doesn’t have the same ring to it.) I was surprised to realize they were even still together. But despite their inauspicious start, they have been together for 17 years and are, apparently, officially planning to pull the plug now. At least, that’s the narrative that Dean is trying to get out there. Although he deleted the Instagram announcement, he really wants to end the marriage and is “100 percent serious.”
Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott may be going their separate ways.
The 56-year-old actor is “100 percent serious” about his desire to split from the Beverly Hills, 90210 alum despite deleting an Instagram post announcing their separation, a source tells PEOPLE.
“[Dean] 100 percent wants to get out of the marriage. He took down the post because Tori didn’t want him to keep it up. But he’s packing his bags and is 100 percent serious about it,” the source says.
According to the insider, McDermott hasn’t moved out from their shared home due to financial reasons as he has yet to find an apartment he can “afford.”
“He can’t take it anymore. He told her he’s done,” they added.
Last Friday night, McDermott took to Instagram to share a since-deleted post that broke the news of their separation after 18 years of marriage.
“It’s with great sadness and a very very heavy heart that after 18 years together and 5 amazing children, that @torispelling and I have decided to go our separate ways, and start a new journey of our own,” he captioned several photos of himself and Spelling with their children.
“We will continue to work together as loving parents and guide and love our children through this difficult time,” he continued. “We ask that you all respect our privacy as we take this time to surround our family with love and work our way through this. Thank you all for your support and kindness.”
A rep for McDermott and Spelling did not respond to requests for comment.
Spelling and McDermott got married on May 7, 2006, and renewed their vows on May 8. 2010. The pair welcomed five children during their marriage: daughters Stella Doreen, 14, Hattie Margaret, 11; and sons Liam Aaron, 16, Finn Davey, 10, and Beau Dean, 6.
In December 2021, multiple sources told PEOPLE that the couple’s marriage was under strain after Spelling posted a holiday card on Instagram where McDermott was notably absent.
Though she clarified in the comments that her husband was “filming his new feature film in Canada” when the photo was taken, a source said that she and McDermott were “not in a good place and have been evaluating their relationship” at the time.
“It’s been very chilly between them for a long time. They have been through the wringer before, but they’ve always gotten out of it,” the source said. “They’ve been living separate lives. They will still have family meals and occasional outings, but it’s for the kids.”
So although it sounded like a (publicist-drafted) joint “amicable” divorce announcement, Tori didn’t want it up. Dean posting it without her knowledge is… pretty rude. But again, it’s not that surprising. After all, they’ve been trying to divorce each other for years. The waffling of the deletion isn’t that surprising, nor is the backtracking to People to confirm that yes, in fact, Dean does want a divorce. These guys have as much trouble keeping their stories straight as they do with keeping their finances in check. Anyway, the estranged couple is still living together because like other divorcing D-listers, Dean doesn’t have the money for his own place. People points out he can’t even find an apartment he can afford. I’m not sure if that’s more indicative of his financial mismanagement and lack of work or the current state of the real estate market. It’s rough out there! Anyway, I agree with Carina that it’s going to get messy and if this early info is any indication, the two are going to be slapping at each other in the press in no time. They definitely need the attention.
Photos credit: Faye’s Vision/Cover Images, Avalon.red, Getty and via Instagram
He definitely wants out. He posted that Instagram to force her hand. I think they fight and threaten to divorce but she pulls him back and says they have to make it work for the kids. But they can’t. And they’d be better off as coparents than married miserables incapable of parenting and modeling positive behavior and positive relationships for their children. Also, I don’t think Tori wants her mom to “win.” And have any “I told you so” rights. Dean was not the right pick for Tori and it is embarrassing and painful that it took 17 years to come to terms with that.
Oof. I don’t know what in the world she saw in this guy and why she didn’t stay with her first husband. Dean is at the root of so much havoc in Tori’s life (please note I totally see the part Tori played in it and yes, a lot of it is self inflicted). I do believe Tori was a mark/target for this grifter, and now that he sees there really isn’t any money there, he is ready to move on. I think he was ready 10 years ago, or even a few years into it, but he stayed for his image as everyone was accusing him of being a grifter.
Aside from cheating on his first wife, the giveaway he was no good is how he abandoned his first child right after adoption. I don’t know why she didn’t see the signs but often when you point this out to people they are determined to prove you wrong (Whitney Houston anyone) and it makes them dig their heels even more. It’s like the resistance to the relationship/marriage makes them hang in there even longer than they normally would.
I’m a little sad for her and the kids. But this guy was always bad news from day one. I hope she finds happiness, gets her spending under control, and she learns to stand on her own two feet without a dude in the picture.
Grifter is the operative word. This guy is slimey and creepy.
I feel bad for her in the way one feels bad for a nepo baby who grew up with massive wealth and squandered it all. Her nepo role on 90210 was absurdly written even for an absurd show, and in the last era where the actresses were allowed their natural, youthful beauty she was increasingly tweaked with each passing season, never looking remotely comfortable in her own skin, and it doesn’t seem she’s been blessed with the wisdom and confidence of age. So I feel bad for what a divorce will mean for her.
Maybe a divorce will be the best thing for her. I think her problem has always been that she wants a quick fix, quick fame, quick schemes. Yes, she hasn’t had the smoothest road, but she had massive resources and kept going after the same failed ventures instead of investing some time and education (not necessarily formal) in figuring out a next move.
It’s also telling that he doesn’t even have a friend willing to take him in. I have seen several divorces where the husband lived for a while in a friend’s guest bedroom. Even one where the husband stayed at the local homeless shelter. He was officially an overnight volunteer. He went after dinner and then home for breakfast each morning and to change for work.
Divorce is rough. The reality tv show gravy train is inevitably short lived.
I was gonna say back in the day (yeah I’m old) the spouse who wanted the divorce the most left and lived in a teeny, tiny apt./with friends/with relatives and saw the kids on weekend outings to the park. To me as uncomfortable it was to the one who left it is preferable than all the splitting the house arrangements with dad living in the upstairs/mom living in the downstairs everyone living in the same house splits I see now. And it seems like that’s how people do it now that I know at least initially. Why do that to each other? Is it the laws that say whoever moved out is abandoning the right to keep the house? Or abandoning rights to custody?
“Grammed and deleted just doesn’t have the same ring to it.”
How about “Insta’d and Outa’d”?
Wishing the kids good luck. With these two for parents they’re going to need it.
Such an “ick” couple!
I don’t feel bad for either one. Tori could have gotten help to learn how to handle her finances and her shopping addiction; she chose not to and both decided to pimp out themselves and their children instead.
As for their children helpful they will break the cycle and learn how; to financially take care of themselves.
Well… shopping addictions aren’t easy to undo. Like many compulsive behaviors, it’s a dysfunctional self-soothing/coping strategy, it’s probably learned, and it’s hard to even acknowledge because of all the shame attached. For me — and this is after six years of intensive therapy — I think the only way forward is to shed almost all my belongings and sentimental collections (“Swedish death cleaning”?) and then learning how to coexist with, and ignore, the instinct to construct a sense of safety, or history, by building a wall of “stuff” around me. It’s very, very hard.
@Jenn — I just finished reading Swedish Death Cleaning, it’s a great help to people who, like you, compulsively spend. Mr. Jaded’s ex-wife has been diagnosed with compulsive spending disorder (the *addiction* part of BPD). She blew through the $425K she got in the divorce settlement and is now completely broke. She eschewed therapy all her life until a year or two ago when her daughter insisted she see a psychologist. I hope therapy is working for her, as it did for you, and good for you that you chose treatment, it takes a lot of strength and determination.
How can two grown @ss adults be such a mess and have 5 children on top of it?
Tori finances were tragic when she married her gigolo.
It was completely irresponsible for them to bring children into their messy life.
Where the kids a way to anchor each other? Or did they think it was the perfect way to keep the money coming of Candy?
Is there even a brain cell between the two.
These two continue to be a dumpster fire of epic proportions.
He’s seriously pathetic.
There’s not another couple I’ve ever felt more “good for you!” about their divorce. It is so beyond time!
These two were made for each other just as Kim & Kroy were made for each other.
Tori also made very unkind digs at Dean’s ex-wife having fertility issues. In my book, her numerous brood was also an F U to the betrayed former wife, “See how fertile I am?”. Only sympathy for the poor kids
Dean may now be hoping to get dad-funds from his kids after they inherit part of the Spelling estate.
If Candy is smart she will lock any funds away until the kids are 35…except school and healthcare which she is already paying for.
Candy appears to have a pretty good grip on the finances. Off topic: am the only one who actually like So Notorious?
Scout, I wouldn’t put it past Tori or Dean to grub money off their 21 year old kids, if the kids do get money from Candy once they are adults. Maybe it would be better if Candy were the guardians of the kids’ money and paid for everything they needed without giving them money. Then neither Tori nor Dean could get their hands on the kids’ money. Candy must be sure not to give the kids anything Tori or Dean could turn into cash–like a paid-for house. She should just pay for the rent on their apartments or houses.