Royal experts are publicly begging Kensington Palace to stop with the clownery

Kensington Palace could not be any more obvious and stupid if they tried. It feels like all of the KP staffers are fighting over custody of the one brain cell they’re supposed to share. So, on Sunday, the Sun reported exclusively that the Princess of Wales had been “seen” in Windsor on Saturday, visiting a garden center with her husband. It sounded like KP called up the Sun and said “Kate was out, we promise, she went to a local shop, here are a few ‘quotes’ from bystanders.” That would have been good enough at any other time, and every other British outlet would have simply run the story as a straight report/sighting. But these are not normal times, and now we’re seeing the royalists question WTF is going on and why KP’s clowns can’t get their acts together.

The Princess of Wales’ surprise visit to her favourite farm shop on a busy spring Saturday only piles yet more pressure on the Palace to update the public on her health as bonkers conspiracy theories about her rage online, experts said today. Kate was spotted looking ‘happy, healthy and relaxed’ as she picked up goods from the independent store just a mile from her Adelaide Cottage home on Saturday. The future Queen was spotted by customers at the Windsor Farm Shop with Prince William after a morning of apparently watching their three children – George, 10, Charlotte, eight, and Louis, five, play sport.

Biographer Phil Dampier told MailOnline that while many will be happy to hear Kate is out and about, others will ‘now be saying if she is well enough to be seen by members of the public then why can’t we be told what is wrong with her?’

He said: ‘A report over the weekend said Kate will want to reveal her treatment when she is fully fit and back at work. That would probably be the best way but some will be impatient and want answers now’.

Royal expert and investigative journalist Tom Bower has said that Kate’s outing shows there is ‘panic at the Palace’, especially after the farrago of her edited Mother’s Day portrait. He said: ‘Her appearance suggests panic at the Palace. Just as last week’s furore has died down, they allowed her to reignite all the questions about her health which should remain private. Her advisors clearly can’t decide what their strategy should be, or agree it with the Wales’s. If they carry on like this – ducking and weaving – it will end badly’.

‘Yesterday’s unexpected “sighting” of Kate suggests that her Palace advisors have still not learnt their lesson’, Bower said.

[From The Daily Mail]

Again, this is all for show – in previous years, all of these people understood when they were being fed lies by the palace and they would still report those lies with zero commentary or call-outs. They’re not doing that anymore – read those quotes again. They’re coming dangerously close to saying it outright, that this “Kate sighting” is nothing more than another lie straight from Kensington Palace.

Additionally, Sarah Vine (another Mail columnist and a vile one at that) told GB News that William and Kate have “not been advised very well” and that the Windsors need to “get the situation under control” because the Waleses have “handled it really quite badly.” What ever do you mean? Their office made it perfectly clear that William and Kate will continue to behave with an arrogant contempt for their subjects, and whenever they get called out for lying, they’ll pour on the self-pity. What do these people not get?

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

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84 Responses to “Royal experts are publicly begging Kensington Palace to stop with the clownery”

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  1. ML says:

    “It feels like all of the KP staffers are fighting over custody of the one brain cell they’re supposed to share.”
    Who’s winning?🍿

    • MoxyLady007 says:

      I think it’s their very last marble. Which has now rolled under a radiator.

      Leaving the staff to enact the famous scene from 2001 space odyssey – as reimagined in Zoolander.

      “Where are the files?”

    • Mslove says:

      It think the brain cell is winning.

    • BlueNailsBetty says:

      @ML

      We are, my friend. We are winning.

    • Digital Unicorn says:

      I think the brain cell packed its bags and left quite some time ago, they haven’t noticed yet.

      Either that or its propping up the bar next to her wiglet.

    • AprilUnderwater says:

      I am now picturing Kensington staff offices full of orange cats, which is quite unfair, because I think even orange cats could do better than this.

    • BeanieBean says:

      Good lord, the last week or so has inspired so many commenters! I’m loving these daily laughs!

  2. MaryContrary says:

    Liz Jones has an absolutely scathing article up on the DM today. Hate to give them clicks-but (despite laying it on a bit thick, saying she and her friends have been in tears with worry over Kate) she lays out how William and Kate absolutely owe people transparency and that this furor is of their own making. Also alludes to being concerned about the state of their marriage. She also mocks the whole “landline” thing. Nary a mention of blaming Harry and Meghan for this debacle either.

    • Agnes says:

      This line from above struck me as odd, too:
      ‘Yesterday’s unexpected “sighting” of Kate suggests that her Palace advisors have still not learnt their lesson’, Bower said.
      Putting quotes around “sighting” implies that it’s questionable. Yes, I know, duh, but coming from one of the worst Rota Rats seems significant. Are they no longer buying the BS KP is selling?

      • Shawna says:

        Now that KP is making them look like fools, they have to fight back. Glad they are.

      • Becks1 says:

        Won’t they think of poor chris ship? He can’t decide what narrative to push and its tearing him apart, lol. He’s definitely one of those begging KP to stop with the clownery, lol.

      • Jais says:

        Chris Ship was one of the first to tweet about the kill photo and it blew up. Why do I get the feeling he got notes about that from KP? At the same time he contacted the Taliban about Harry so🙄

    • jenjamtx says:

      “Palace phones have been ring off the hook with well wishes for Catherine.” Tell me you are a liar and very out of touch in one sentence.

  3. They double down with the lies. It’s what they always do. They wouldn’t know the truth if it hit them in the face. They believe the peasants are too stupid to figure out there game but as usual they are very wrong.

  4. Molly says:

    1. How come a reporter was there in time to talk to someone who saw her, but missed her himself?

    2. How come not ONE soul – each of which surely has a phone – took a snap of what has become as famous for being missing as the Malaysia flight?

    3. How come no one, not even the clerks, could be named?

    So bad. They are SO bad at this.

  5. Eve Pane says:

    Forget all this. Im waiting for a royal announcement today
    Plus the claim Kate is visiting their farm.
    I need proof

    • Danbury says:

      John Oliver called a “Weekend at Bernie’s” scenario and I’m starting to think he might be on to something

      • Megan says:

        Anyone else notice the media was “respecting Kate’s privacy” until William made that ridiculous statement about Gaza? I think BP is teaching KP a lesson about who is really in control.

  6. Becks1 says:

    Its really getting ridiculous. and again I keep circling back to – the reason we haven’t actually seen Kate is because we can’t. Either she is in no shape to be seen, or she is refusing to cooperate with any pleas to do a pap stroll etc.

    When even the carnival of so called experts are saying you are messing up…..

    • molly says:

      I have and still believe that something big and bad happened in December and she took the kids and bolted. She is refusing to take part in any of it. Even if she was physically harmed, she’d likely have healed by now. Even a broken bone would probably done. (Not accusing anyone here, *of course*… just saying hypothetically.) She could end this in a heartbeat if she simply popped her little head up (with our without KP.) Reads to me more like she won’t. Period.

    • Underhihll says:

      Or she isn’t there. They can’t photograph her because she isn’t there. That’s another theory. She had the abdominal surgery, for resection perhaps with stoma, as we have heard, followed by (and this is the part they don’t want to talk about) treatment for ED at Swiss clinic. That theory is on the short list of remaining theories.

      • juno says:

        This is a more sound theory than others. I don’t think she’s in the UK at all, and that would make all of this make sense. They simply cannot produce her in any form, and have been lying through their teeth about from day 1.

        I wonder if she’s even aware of anything that’s been going on in her absence. Probably better for her mental health of she isn’t, but can you imagine coming back from therapy to this dumpster fire that’s been made of your public image? If she hadn’t been so openly evil to Meghan, I would probably feel sorry for her.

      • Shawna says:

        If she’s in ED treatment, which would be a very good thing, they really couldn’t give anyone a firm date for her being back. If it’s true, it’s good that it’s being taken seriously finally, but it’s also sad that she can’t or won’t or isn’t allowed to let the truth be known, especially in the context of Diana letting her own be known.

    • Nic919 says:

      I think she is refusing to cooperate. And because of that there is panic at KP with made up sightings and trying to compare her to Diana.

      The main issue is that the trust that most of the public had with KP has been broken with the Franken photo and it will take something much different from their usual lies and contempt to sort this out.

      (Some already weren’t trusting KP, but it’s now the general public and they don’t understand that).

    • ShazBot says:

      I think she’s refusing to cooperate because this is all William’s fault. He didn’t need to co-opt her recovery time by not working himself and then his dumb Gaza statement and pulling out of the memorial service set this all on fire. He has f’d this up continuously and then threw her under the bus. I wouldn’t cooperate either but she has to know, it will always be her and nobody will call out his dumbassery directly.

    • Eos says:

      I am with the group here that suggested Kate maybe out of the country, possibly in Mustique.

    • Molly says:

      The only thing about being out of the country is that the radio silence would seem to be much harder. She’d be surrounded by people who *don’t* have an NDA keeping their mouths shut. I agree it could be pulled off to a limited extent, but 3 months?

      • Shawna says:

        Those people might be paid to stay quiet or might be governed by professional ethics to stay quiet.

  7. Flowerlake says:

    In my country, most people don’t care all that much about the BRF, but even people who I never heard mention them before are like “wtf is going on there?” now.

    As for conspiracy theories, there are a lot, but this is what you get for being this dumb with pr.

    One about Kingston and Kate, even.

    • Jenny says:

      Yes, one of my coworkers asked me at lunch the other day, after seeing a headline. Someone who usually only cares about sports news. They have managed to escalate their crisis into someone people who otherwise would have noticed, are looking at askance.

    • LAR says:

      Even my husband brought it up today and he never cares about celebrity/royal gossip. He was wondering what the top theories were.

      • jenjamtx says:

        Haha. Same with my husband. He asked me several days in a row what I think is going on with Kate. Last night with all the “breaking news coming from the BRF” on Twitter, he said I think I might stay up for a while just to wait for the breaking news.

  8. Sunday says:

    This entire faux photo and fauxer outrage circus just reminds me of the questions we should be asking:

    1. What is Charles’ actual prognosis?
    2. Where are George, Charlotte, and Louis?
    3. What happens to KP / BP / HG when Will ascends? (is this actually fallout from courtiers at war to save their houses/positions for the next reign?)

    Because it was never about a photo, and frankly the palace doesn’t need Kate’s permission or even participation to issue a statement (just like they did with Harry), so even if she hightailed to Mustique there’s no reason to continue this increasingly insulting farce of obvious frankenphotos and Kate-is-a-Yeti sightings unless they’re intentionally doing it.

    • Shawna says:

      I thought some of Charles’s announcements and sightings were specifically to provide Kate cover, but it could certainly be the opposite. People are distracted from asking questions about Charles.

      Relatedly: @Mary Pester, who is at Balmoral?

  9. Jaded says:

    Well, another day another “Gang Who Couldn’t Shoot Straight” cock-up from KP. How is it that they think the public is stupid enough to buy this crap? Just come out and tell the truth instead of making these ridiculous attempts at covering up the obvious — that the Wales marriage is over, Kate’s mental and physical health has suffered as a result, and any continued lying about it is only making things exponentially worse. Many of us predicted that the monarchy would start circling the drain as soon as QEII fell off her perch but the rapidity of it is truly mind-boggling.

  10. Lady Digby says:

    There’s a guy down the chip shop, swears he’s Elvis, he’s a liar and I am not sure about you sang the delightful Kirsty McColl. KP are rubbish at this aren’t they? I expect Kate will be made to do the perp walk at Easter after this latest sighting failed to land!

  11. Alex says:

    They’re really going with ‘Don’t worry everyone, Kate’s gone to live on a lovely farm with all the other Kates and she’s very happy there!’ huh? Well that’s reassuring! Nothing more to see here, folks!

  12. BlueNailsBetty says:

    “ play sport”

    Was “sport” supposed to be a placeholder word until the reporter confirmed what kind of sport it was? Or are all sports referred to as “sport” in England?

    • MonicaQ says:

      “Sport” is what the English just call all sports. At least that’s what I’ve experienced.

    • molly says:

      And no parent EVER had a camera in hand when little johnny’s on the pitch…
      #kate370

  13. Mslove says:

    Pinocchio, Richard Nixon and Charles Ponzi would like to welcome KP to their exclusive club.

  14. MonicaQ says:

    This really sounds like they sent Kate to live on a farm upstate, where she’ll have alllllllllll the space to run.

    • Where'sMyTiara says:

      Well there *was* that brief rumor that she and the kids were going to be shipped up to Balmoral with Ma Midds…

  15. JJ says:

    What? Are they trying to make Kate into a mythical legend like the Loch Ness monster but a woman who goes around Windsor smiling but no one can produce a credible photo of? “Oh we saw ol’ Katie roaming the fields and she is a happy lass that Katie!”

  16. Lau says:

    Yes and Diana’s brother has been saying to the BBC that the fallout from this fiasco is not nearly as bad as what his sister went through. Once again William is using his dead mother’s name to try to justify himself.

  17. Sharon says:

    King Charles is being awfully quiet.
    Isn’t there supposed to be a big royal announcement this week?

    • Digital Unicorn says:

      Well it’s supposed to be today – Twitter UK is trending with all sorts of hashtags about said announcement. I imagine the BBC website is getting hammered.

    • Harla A Brazen Hussy says:

      Personally, I think this is someone trying to wind people up and then sitting back to enjoy the chaos. I was intrigued initially but now am not believing any of it.

      • Lauren says:

        When I got onto Twitter/X this morning there were several posts about Charles being dead which shocked me a bit. But after a bit of research, I agree with you that someone is trying to wind people up

  18. Harla A Brazen Hussy says:

    So….will William soon be calling his wife “paranoid”?

  19. MrsCope says:

    They bungled every part of this from the very beginning. All of the language choices in the original statement. No reassurance that all would be well, just “this happened” and “we need privacy” and also they tried to use it as a sick note for Will, too.

    And then the whole comms plan sucked/was non existent. I won’t go back over all the things they could have done. But their only plan was “she’s sick poor thing, but it’s ok, but she needs to heal LONGTERM.”

    The minute she steps back into the frame, all will be forgiven, and you know what? Whatever. Just keep H+M’s names (and their babies) out your mouths RR and BRF.

  20. Scooby Gang says:

    I know this sounds awful – and I hope that I’m wrong – but to me, all the talk around Kate and what she might do, what she said, where she went, what she wrote, where she might go… seems like a desperate attempt to convince the public that she is alive and well.

    I can imagine an announcement that she died and the press making it seem like it just happened unexpectedly. And their “proof” will be that… hey… Kate was recently doing and saying all these things. She was totally alive all this time.

    I just don’t buy it. I think something awful happened… and I think it happened months ago. But, again, I hope I’m wrong.

  21. Amy Bee says:

    William using Diana in this situation is gross. There are no threats to Kate’s life, the press has left her alone and still support her.

    • QuiteContrary says:

      Well, to quote William about Diana, I wonder if it’s Will’s behavior that has caused Kate’s “fear, paranoia and isolation.”

  22. EliseM says:

    With all the financial hardships happening in England (and everywhere else), you think someone will just pass a candid photo opportunity up? Not a chance.

  23. Schrodinger's Kate says:

    In other news, Sasquatch reported seeing Kate Middletown in the woods. She reportedly told him that she was picking truffles for her father-in-law. Unfortunately, nobody believed him and he’s now a laughing stock in the woodland community.

    Sasquatch did attempt to provide photographic evidence but one photo was too grainy to be conclusive and the other lacked the Princess’s famed sapphire ring, thus bringing into question that whomever he spoke to was, in fact, the elusive royal.

    • Where'sMyTiara says:

      If I could post a gif here of me cackling, pounding my hands on the table, I absolutely would.
      Y’all are making my day with these comments.

      I haven’t had this much fun royal watching since the Queen accidentally wore a green screen dress during Trooping 2016.

  24. mary Pester says:

    Sooooo Kate was seen at the farm shop, and big foot was seen at Sandringham. Yep these two strange creatures had an away day.
    Could this fk up ever be more fkd up.
    It’s like the madness of king George has become the madness of the waleses. William looks like he’s either pssd or high most of the time time, keen looks, well we don’t know how keen looks do we? This farce is supposed to represent the best of the UK 😂😂😂😂. Honest to god just get rid of the lot of them. We know other countries are peeing themselves laughing at this chaos, because a good 80 %of the UK are as well. The other 20 %are knee bending sheep!, even Obama was laughing when he left downing street today, but in all honesty I think he took one look at Sunak and just lost it 😊

    • Saucy&Sassy says:

      Mary Pester, LOL! I’ll have to look for Obama leaving Downing Street!

      What is KHate doing? It seems she just makes everything worse than what it was and that’s saying something. What is her deal?

    • Berkeleyfarm says:

      Obama was there? He seems to be doing a tour. Saw a pic of him with the Belgian king and heir, so he must have been by EU HQ or something else in Brussels and stopped by for a courtesy call.

  25. Renae says:

    Currently the DM is posting a pic of the elusive / evasive princess that was supposedly taken at the Farm Market (or whatever that’s called.)
    They say it is new but Willie is hiding his head as he accompanied her and she is carrying the bags (???)
    Wonder if this pic is faked OR if its an oldie.

    • Jaded says:

      I’ve watched the video a number of times and frankly it doesn’t look much like her aside from being skinny. The nose and chin are off and her hair is much longer, darker and looks like an entire wig. I say it’s another fake.

  26. blunt talker says:

    All these theories about Kate’s whereabouts are a result of what happened to Princess Diana-there is a large portion of people in this world who knew about her feel someone in the royal family did something to cause what happened to Diana-this suspicion has been carried over to this incident-people may never say it out loud but in the back of their minds they suspect foul play when it comes to Diana-whether did or not I don’t think the public will ever know but the lingering doubts persist-the rough treatment of Meghan by the press and some royal family members is a another reason-to rule this many hundreds of years you can rest assured the royal family’s skirts are not clean on a lot things.