Lindsay Lohan: Jesus Christ?


I don’t even know what to say with this. Here is Lindsay Lohan’s cover for the Spring/Summer issue of the French magazine Purple. Is Lindsay trying to be controversial? Like, I call this piece of art “The Crackhead on the Cross”. Maybe she has no idea what she’s doing. Maybe the photographer (Terry Richardson) was just like “put your arms out straight, like you just got pulled over for driving under the influence.” And Lindsay replied, “I drunk not, oss-ifer. Ima Jesus!”

Lindsay Lohan is on the cover of another magazine, this time it’s French fashion magazine Purple.

Since it’s supposed to be more of an edgy magazine or something, Terry Richardson shot Lindsay as Jesus with her outstretched arms and a crown of thorns. So shocking!

And we mean that, too. It’s pretty shocking that this is the first time in a while Linds didn’t even have to show her boobs for a fashion spread.

And Lindsay’s Jesus dress-up fun isn’t all that’s going on in her cluttered life today. There’s also talk that Sam Ronson allegedly abused her, Jessica Alba says Lindsay never hooked up with her husband, Cash Warren, and Linds took to her Twitter to try to convince us she doesn’t use lip injections. In other words, it’s just a normal day for Lindsay.

[From E! News]

Yes, I guess it’s a good thing that Lindsay isn’t doing another softcore pr0n photo shoot. She’s fully clothed on this cover, so maybe she’ll be wearing clothes inside as well? Probably not. When she was doing the shoot back in November, the rumor was that it included a threesome. So… yeah. So Christ-like.

Purple Magazine cover courtesy of E! News.

Lindsay Lohan enjoys a night out with on/off girlfriend Sam Ronson's half-sister, Annabelle Dexter-Jones

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59 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan: Jesus Christ?”

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  1. lucy2 says:

    WHY do magazines keep putting her on the cover? I can’t imagine anyone sees her on these random magazines and rushes out to buy a copy. She’s washed up and messed up. Everyone should ignore her completely until she goes to rehab.

  2. Cinderella says:

    She certainly has the crackie fingernails.

  3. audrey says:

    ooooh.. that hasn’t been done before! she’s so cutting edge.. por favor.

  4. “I drunk not, oss-ifer. Ima Jesus!”


    Not the line to be reading when your work phone needs answering. Thank God it was a co-worker not a customer.

  5. Maritza says:

    She looks like she is losing her hair.

  6. Victoria says:

    Oh this girl is such a train wreck. I feel sorry for her and I wish someone CLOSE TO HER would take her problems seriously. I sometimes wonder if S.Ronson wasn’t trying to help her.

  7. Lem says:

    thank you i needed that

  8. Because she’s constantly crucified in the media, right?
    How clever.
    Someone should tell Lilo that perpetually playing the victim is sooo late ’90′s.

  9. Maybe her famewhore parents can be talked into putting her on “Intervention”. They could tell her it’s a “job”.

  10. Francis says:

    Oh my gosh what a wacky idea putting her on the front cover looking like this! I do actually think she looks pretty good though considering.

  11. Lem says:

    can EVERYONE please stop it with the hair extensions? it’s not your hair. it doesn’t look like your hair. there is no need for it to be there. it does not look good.
    we will never buy that those two Jessica Simpson-esque curls hanging limply along belong on your head. Period!

  12. Whatever says:

    Wow, she looks like she’s pushing 50! She really looks sick. I hope she gets some help before we are reading about her next. I can’t even snark at her; its too sad.

  13. Sumodo1 says:

    Holy shit! (no pun intended) The French have made La Lohan into the next Jerry Lewis.

  14. Erin says:

    hmm, my nails look exactly like hers do.

  15. NicoleB says:

    It’s so sad because Lohan is a beautiful girl who was actually talented and now she is this running joke. What the hell is her family thinking??? Her mom is seriously delusional…Stop putting her on TV and in magazines and get the girl some damn help…I know people make fun of this girl but there is going to be nothing funny if she dies…Where is Dr. Drew???

  16. princess pea says:

    No really… why do people keep doing photospreads with her? WHO thinks she’s relevant?

  17. kermit says:

    This is a very expensive mag, about $60. She did the shoot in December with Terry Richardson. It’s a fashion magazine for adults. She’s got some other stuff she’ll be doing in Europe. Lindsay does a good amount of shoots and makes good money doing them as well as about $60K for appearances at the front row on modeling runways and hosting. Just a matter of time to see Ali in photoshoots as well (not Purple, too young). Lindsay’s branching off, we know her work primarily as an actress but she’s going into producing TV shows and fashion as well. Hope she can stay focused!

  18. bella says:

    I can’t help but compare her recent photos (like the last few years) to her appearance in the picture included in the post from yesterday about her lip injection denial. She looked so beautiful and so healthy in that picture (the one with her red hair and healthy complexion), it’s hard to believe this is the same person.

  19. LindyLou says:


  20. kermit says:

    @princess pea Who thinks she’s relevant? Terry Richardson, Purple’s photographer among others. Director Steven Soderberg who had a recent meeting with her. Also directors Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarrintino. Musician Ne Yo has expressed a desire to continue working with Lindsay on her music when she’s ready. Grammy award winning producer Rodney Jerkins has praised Lindsay’s talent and says she has “it” and is eager to work with her when she’s ready. Ungaro continues to have her as creative advisor for their fashion house. That’s a short list for now. And obviously and perhaps unfortunately tabloids that run so many stories about her.

  21. clare says:

    It’s depressing to think how her family doesn’t care enough about her to get her the help she needs.

  22. andrea says:

    on the cover of a magazine… WHY? FOR WHAT REASON??

  23. juiceinla says:

    Sumodo- hilarious!

    “the rumor was that it included a threesome. So… yeah. So Christ-like.” Brilliant -Sofa king sofa king funny.

    also (I agree with Nicole B, it is all sad)

    ahh, I have tears. thanks all!

  24. Maleficent says:

    Lindsay has a fan? Who knew!

    Also, just because a magazine costs $60, doesn’t mean they (the editors) know what the hell they are talking about or that the magazine is good.

  25. Betty says:

    At least she has a job.

  26. Ggirl says:

    She looks so distorted in many of her ‘candid’ shots. The glazed eyes and the overdone plumping. Inhuman and soul-less. I liked what a couple of people suggested about signing her up for an episode of Intervention or Dr. Drew. Atleast that would appeal to her narcisstic need to be in the spotlight and she might even get insprired to try to clean up her act. Probably wishful thinking. In this latest magazine cover, privately maybe she should go deeper and ask for some help from HIM instead of trying to imitate the image.

  27. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Am so bored of Lindsay’s coverage & equally bored of @ Kermit’s relentless and godlike (haha!) support and worship of her…

    Girl is a drugged out mess, but I guess tabloid fodder sells mags – Lindsay is delusional but hey thats only one of her many problems

  28. kermit says:

    @clare re intervention–In a recent interview with Michael Lohan watching Lindsay on the Insider, he claims that they’ve tried. Both Dina and Michael have along with people in Lindsay’s management. So, hopefully they’ll keep trying and succeed one time. I agree that she urgently needs an intervention…to start with.

    @Ggirl Dr. Drew has offered, Lindsay dismissed him saying real doctors take care of people behind closed doors. I think Lindsay did have a point, some value doctor/patient confidentiality and do not elect to work out their treatments publicly. But, I also find much value in the work that Dr. Drew does and presents to the public with consenting participants.

  29. Eileen Yover says:

    Oooo Linds…er I mean Kermit: what it would be like to be inside your head for a day…mmmmm, no, actually maybe just 10 minutes will suffice.

  30. CB Rawks says:

    *head desk*

  31. Maxwell Demon says:

    That’s not a Jesus pose; they just asked her how much she loves cock.

  32. Tia C says:

    Addiction 101: Nobody will take help unless they want it. It eludes me why people on here keep asking “why aren’t her parents helping her?” Because she’s a GROWN woman, not a child, and she can do what she wants! And she WILL do what she wants. She will not get help until SHE wants it. Shut up already about people helping her.

    Like many others on here, I have no clue, either as to why she keeps getting these modeling gigs. She looks awful and no, she really isn’t relevant at the moment…she could be again, but right now, not so much. I do hope she gets back into acting, she is good at that.

  33. clare says:

    @kermit, it’s such a shame and waste then that Lindsay won’t listen to them! Thanks for letting me know. It seems like she is making an attempt to get better on her own, but she needs someone to help her find the right direction before her health runs out.

  34. Nicky says:

    I’m convinced Kermit is like the character portrayed by Robin Williams in One Hour Photo. Sitting in a barren living room, scouring the internet for hours looking for anything Lohan-related before adding another picture of her alongside the hundreds already amassed on one wall of the apartment.

  35. CB Rawks says:

    Michael Lohan is a pathological liar and fame whore! But I feel better after hearing he tried.

  36. GatsbyGal says:

    I thought French stuff was supposed to be all cutting-edge and whatever. Posing as Christ? That’s been done over and over and over and OVER again. Stupid France.

  37. Ruby Red Lips says:

    @ Nicky – That made me giggle – & scarily is most likely to be true!

  38. lurker says:

    When looking at the photo I was thinking “Lindsay Lohan: Jesus Christ” but not in the same context.

  39. imo says:

    WOW @ the second pic. She looks like Nicholson in The Shining. REDRUM…creepy lol

  40. neelyo says:

    Hmmm, unlike Jesus Lindsay probably won’t see 33.

    The whole ‘she’s really big in French fashion’ thing reminds me of the character Jennifer North in VALLEY OF THE DOLLS. She needs to finance her husband’s care in tfh sanitorium so she goes to France and starts taking off her top for ‘art films’ or as her pal Neely O’Hara more aptly describes them, ‘nudies’.

    It seems like Lindsay’s working with whoever will take her, and from the looks of it she’s basing her business decisions on who’s got the best drugs. Was there an interview? What does she have left to promote?

    And I have no doubt we’ll be seeing Ali in photo shoots very soon. Or at least ‘art films’.

  41. kermit says:

    @CB Rawks Absolutely. He is a very destructive person and I feel Lindsay has some of that within her though more self-directed. But it was put out if the family is trying to help. And Michael Lohan claims he is trying. I think he has tried, in the most misguided and harmful ways. At least his public efforts. He claims he’s learned from his mistakes and will be more private. I don’t find him trustworthy. Dina’s just as bad, IMO, but in a different way.

  42. kermit says:

    @neelyo Look for Ali in the RTW Collection. Please all be mindful that Ali is 16 years old and growing up in a chaotic and unstable situation. She’s not Lindsay, a different person with a tougher makeup and I think she may impress in her photoshoots.

    Lindsay is considered a dynamic model and is photogenic (besides some of the horrible candids that are posted–but anyone could look bad in candids). There’s also lots of photoshop work in shoots, the raw material for Lindsay is there. Lindsay’s challenge: reliability and punctuality.

  43. Mairead says:

    and sobriety! Don’t forget sobriety.

  44. Cakes says:

    It seems like a lot of the washed up has beens go to Europe to regenerate their long lost fame.

  45. kermit says:

    @Ruby Red Lips Many of the stories of the last few days on Lindsay all over the web are false. The Sam Ronson violence accusation was particularly nasty and Sam is very angry on her twitter about it and has stated she’ll take legal action on the accuser if they persist with telling it after Lindsay strongly denied in a tweet Sam was ever violent to her. Sam thanked Lindsay, they are united in this. A classic smear job.

    I provide some balance here and I in no way am anyone’s cheerleader or apologist. Lies are lies, whether told by the celeb in question, or the one’s telling the story.

  46. Wresa says:

    So Kermit is Lindsay’s publicist? Dina? Lindsay herself?

    I mean, I actually am rooting for Lindsay, that she gets help and continues acting, but kermit, you need to be a little more subtle in your attempts to sway public opinion.

  47. whateva says:

    talented trash.

  48. Constance says:

    Why does she get work? She works cheaply.

  49. Amy says:

    How old is this girl?

  50. Lway says:

    @ Maxwell Demon: LOL!!! Brilliant!

  51. Dani says:

    Eh, I thought she looked good in that picture. I’m not a Lindsay fan, but she does look nice in some pictures while in others she..doesn’t. Then again theres probably more bad pictures of her because of all the paparazzi and those are the shots they’re after, not the good ones. I really dont know what to make of her looks, considering they’re so conflicting. But I digress.

    As for the “shocking” Jesus thing, I honestly didnt care one way or the other. It takes much more than standing there with your arms spread open and thorns on your head to shock and/or offend me.

  52. Harriet says:

    Just no.

  53. mockey says:

    no need to insult my country…

  54. Ruby Red Lips says:

    @ Kermit – I am simply agreeing with Nicky’s statement as I think this must be the reason you are so intense about Lindsay…as you have never answered anyone’s questions.

    You just defend Lindsay as someone who thinks they are being balanced about her but fails to take on board Lindsay is responsible for her own behaviour as a young adult.

    So sick of all this ‘ its not my fault, my fish dies when I was 7 so this caused me to become a self-harming, drug taking murderer!’

    At some point people need to take responsibility for their own lives – life is far too short

  55. kermit says:

    @Wresa I root for the underdog sometimes. I don’t like any type of bullying or lying about other people. Making stories up about people, whatever their reputation, is unacceptable and pernicious.

    I’m not here as a gossip fan or a celebrity fan at all. I’m not here to let out my frustrations in the form of bashing public people as I have far more constructive and creative ways of dealing with frustrations that involve only myself and doesn’t hurt others. I’m looking at human nature, people’s tendencies to judge on suspicious information and incomplete knowledge of subject, and coming to rather simplistic conclusions. Lindsay Lohan is a complex situation in that there are many factors at play; sometimes a paradoxical person, and I’m researching her. So, don’t conclude I’m this big fan of hers. I’m after accuracy, not BS.

  56. Ruby Red Lips says:

    @ Kermit – You’re after accuracy from media reports??!! Enough said

  57. kermit says:

    Per Dina: not Jesus. Lindsay’s pose is angelic.

  58. kermit says:

    @Ruby Red Lips I think your premise is wrong. I find with her a much different situation, more acting out, underlying mental disorder, her drug usage to escape and self-medicate *which almost any professional specialist/expert in alcohol and substance abuse will tell you it is in the majority of cases*. My feelings are backed up of years of working with people in arts therapy fields and with creative people, many of them teens and older. I’m doing research on media/tabloid targets and Lindsay is a main one. My info sources are my own business.

    I think statements that Lindsay loves any type of attention and is an attention whore are popular but irresponsible. Anyone familiar with her tweets knows that she at least writes statements to the contrary. She seems fragile, paradoxical, and unable to help herself though she in some ways shows signs that she wants to take positive actions. That’s why she needs an intervention (that she’ll kick and fight to try to escape from). If 26-year old (at the time) Britney Spears needed one, 23-year old Lindsay does even more, IMO. Saying she has the capacity to do it on her own as a grown woman is, I’m sorry, not an informed statement.

  59. Ruby Red Lips says:

    @ Kermit – I give up, there is no point even trying to respond to you about this…you are delusional in your awe of Lindsay…

    She is f*cked up, but I believe it is an insult to all the people who do suffer from mental health disorders to say her drug use etc is down to this.

    I assume you are not qualified and have never treated Lindsay so how you are able to make this sort of judgement is absurd.

    Regardless of your sources, you are still making judgements about her from media info so unless you know Lindsay personally you are not making an informed statement either. You are using the facts you have available to paint a picture that supports your beliefs.

    Oh come on, its blinking obvious that Lindsay loves the media attention i.e tweeting her locations etc, even you can’t possibly justify that one!

    IMO saying that she doesn’t have the capacity to do it on her own as a grown woman, I’m sorry, not an informed statement.