The Duchess of Sussex’s pregnant-dancing video is still the talk of every media outlet in Britain. As soon as I watched the video, I knew that it would make heads explode over there, and they would spend days (if not weeks) convincing themselves that “Meghan dancing in a maternity suite” was the equivalent of “spitting on the queen’s corgis.” I’m surprised they haven’t called the dance video a “slap to the king’s face” yet. Well, one of the side effects of the video is that it stunned and appalled Camilla Tominey to the point where she abandoned her half-hearted political-reporter rebrand and now she’s gone back to royal gossip. After Tominey – a racist and a misogynist – referred to Meghan’s dance video as containing a “sexy slut drop,” Tominey now has written a new piece for the Telegraph. The piece is entirely framed by “the Sussexes are horrible and wrong about everything,” even as Tominey lies through her teeth over and over. Bizarrely, Tominey actually breaks several significant pieces of news…news about King Charles and his health. Guess the Telegraph told her not to lead with that, not when they could make it all about the Sussexes! Some highlights:

The courtiers are mapping a way forward: Talk of whether relations will ever be restored between the Sussexes and the Windsors is not just a media obsession. It remains a topic of intense discussion behind palace gates where aides have been trying to map a way forward as the King, 76, continues to recover from cancer.

Harry’s BBC interview, where he spoke about not knowing how much longer his father would live: The palace had been very careful not to discuss the details of the King’s condition, stressing only that his recovery continues in a “very positive direction, as reflected with the very full national and international diary programme”. It was an unhelpful intervention ahead of the King and Queen’s very positively received trip to Canada, and some felt it set back efforts to reassure the public that he was faring well – so well in fact, that very tentative planning had begun on his 80th birthday celebrations in 2028.

So, how is Charles’s health? The talk now is that he may die “with” cancer, but not “of” cancer following a rigorous treatment programme. One concession to his health and advancing years that has been made, however, is that it appears unlikely he will ever move from Clarence House to Buckingham Palace after the restoration is completed in three year’s time although it will remain the household’s office for the rest of his reign.

The palace wants control of the Sussex storyline more than anything else: Equally exploratory have been discussions about if or when father and son could ever be reunited, with some mooting that the next Invictus Games could provide an opportunity when it is held in Birmingham in 2027. Mindful of the Duke’s recent televised olive branch, the palace has even carried out discrete polling to find out how many people were aware of the BBC interview (over 80 per cent of Brits weren’t). Yet there is an awareness that the impasse cannot continue forever, not least if it starts to reflect badly on the King. Serious concerns remain, however, about the intimate contents of any meeting ending up in the public domain, which is the main reason the King is no longer taking his youngest son’s calls.

They’re so mad when the Sussexes fact-check their bullsh-t on the record: Eyebrows were raised when the Sussexes’ spokesman briefed that they had not been invited to the King’s 75th birthday celebrations in 2023 amid reports they had snubbed the event.

The Invictus Games in 2027: Were there to be a public reconciliation at the Invictus Games, it is hoped it would also involve Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet who will be eight and six by then. The King last saw his youngest grandchildren during the Platinum Jubilee in 2022. The Duchess’s presence remains a known unknown, with some questioning whether she will ever return to the UK for fear of a hostile reception from the public. The couple were booed on arrival at St Paul’s Cathedral in London for a ceremony marking jubilee three years ago and a great deal more has been said and done since then.

Harry’s security at the Invictus Games in 2027: While exasperated by the Duke’s insistence that his father could have stepped in and prevented the Royal and VIP Executive Committee from downgrading his son’s security, aides are believed to be looking at ways the family could be enveloped into King’s security arrangements were he to make an official royal visit to the games.

Prince William’s involvement: The Prince of Wales’s involvement remains unlikely after the Duke revealed the gory details of a brotherly brawl over a dog bowl and accused his sister-in-law of questioning what the Sussexes’ firstborn might look like along with the King. (Although the Duke did not name them in Spare, they were outed in Endgame, a book by the Sussexes’ hagiographer Omid Scobie.) Although the heir to the throne is no longer as angry as he was, those who know him best believe there is “no way back”. The prevailing attitude is to let sleeping dogs lie.

They are still so mad that they couldn’t force the Sussexes to divorce: As far as the wider Royal family are concerned, they believe they did everything in their power to make the Duchess feel welcome, and view the Duke – once nicknamed “The Hostage” by palace staff – to be enthralled by his wife. Some had questioned whether the marriage would go the distance but are now resigned to the fact that the Duke will never return to Britain now his children, who have US passports and accents, are being brought up in America.

[From The Telegraph]

It’s so much horses-t on top of horses-t. The king’s advisors are rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic if they think they’re carefully planning some kind of tentative reconciliation for the Invictus Games IN 2027!! Two years from now! And the bit about wanting Lili and Archie to come to the games, but actively rooting for Meghan not to come (“she might be booed,” get the f–k out of here). The thing with so many of the “reasons why William and Charles won’t speak to Harry or reconcile with Harry” is that almost all of the reasons are summed up with “Harry spoke out about what horrible sh-t we did to him or we lied about him and he corrected the record!” William has never disputed the story about his violent assault on his brother. Kate has never denied showing “concern” about how dark a baby’s skin would be.

But yeah, Tominey really buried the lede – Charles will die “with” cancer, not “of” cancer, and no one thinks he’ll even be alive to move into Buckingham Palace when the renovation is completed (2027).

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.