Jennifer Aniston: ‘I don’t want to adopt. I want my own DNA in a little person’

In recent years, Jennifer Aniston has spoken out about her fertility struggles, and how she absolutely tried to get pregnant for many years, to no avail. She’s never really specified the time frame, but I’ve always assumed that she’s talking about her 30s and 40s especially, like when she was married to Brad Pitt and possibly when she first started up with Justin Theroux. It’s also possible she tried to have a baby as a single woman, in between relationships. At no point has Aniston ever tried to adopt and it doesn’t sound like she’s ever tried or considered surrogacy. Well, in her new Armchair Expert interview, Aniston spoke about why she never wanted to adopt.

Jennifer Aniston doesn’t want to adopt children despite her infertility struggles. During an appearance on a Wondery+ early access episode of the Armchair Expert podcast, The Morning Show star, 56, revealed the relatable reason why she’s never been interested in adoption.

Aniston has previously been open about her infertility struggles, including going through in vitro fertilization (IVF) and getting to the point where she doesn’t think about pregnancy anymore.

The topic of adoption came up after co-host Monica Padman discussed her experience freezing her eggs. After Padman said she was indecisive about whether she wants children, noting that “maybe it’s okay that I don’t,” she asked Aniston if she has found “peace” being on the other side of that.

“It’s so peaceful,” Aniston replied. “But I will say there’s a point where it’s like out of my control. There’s literally nothing I can do about it. When people say, ‘But you can adopt,’ I don’t want to adopt. I want my own DNA in a little person. That’s the only way, selfish or not, whatever that is, I’ve wanted it.”

Although Aniston said it’s something she really did not want to talk about, she acknowledged there have been moments where she has met someone and thinks that they “would have made some good kids.” However, it’s a sentiment that will “pass within three seconds.”

The actress said it’s something you ultimately romanticize after being “on the other side of it because it’s out of your control. It just wasn’t in the plan, whatever the plan was,” she said, adding later that “it’s very emotional, especially in the moment when they say ‘that’s it,’ because there is a weird moment when that happens.”

[From People]

Several points/beliefs/thoughts. It’s fine to want your own biological child, and it’s fine to be against adoption for yourself, for how you see your own family (as opposed to being against adoption for everyone, which sucks). I think there are a lot of people who feel that way, that they only want biological children. It’s better to know that and NOT adopt than find that out about yourself after you’ve adopted a child. Additionally, there are many people who see a baby or a child and instantly feel a connection, regardless of biology. With some people, you can just hand them a baby and they’re ready to take the baby home. Angelina Jolie is that way, she loves her adopted children with ferocity.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid.

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55 Responses to “Jennifer Aniston: ‘I don’t want to adopt. I want my own DNA in a little person’”

  1. Ciotog says:

    I didn’t want to adopt, either, but I did want to carry a child. I have a child with a donor egg, and she doesn’t have my DNA, but she’s never felt any less my child. I think it’s good when people are honest with themselves about why they want to have children and I commend JA for being honest about her motivations.

    • ClammanderJen says:

      Congrats to another science & technology baby mama! I’m currently pregnant with my 2nd with a donor egg; we have a 4-year-old bio baby as well. Families come in so many different shapes and forms, people feel fertility drives in different ways, and candid discussions like these are so important. It’s how we avoid gross, uneducated, one-size-fits all legislation from political morons.

      • Kitten says:

        Absolutely. There are so many different options–none are wrong–it’s simply an individual choice. Congrats to both of you.

    • DouchesOfCambridge says:

      It’s ok to want kids, not want kids, to want to adopt, to want kids that are biological, not biological but you carry them, or not. There is nothing wrong or and nothing to judge.

  2. Jegede says:

    I appreciate this.

    A lot of women in my girl group are 30s-40s feel this way.
    They feel it is important to have that womb bonding experience in the blood stream, your pain every facet of their sweat and organs to feel the child the proper way.

    90% of it is fear. Apprehension they will not be able to love the same way.

    And remember Aniston had a f00ked up relationship with her own mother.
    That could sow seeds of doubt of in how SHE my be unable to have strong maternal instincts with a child she didn’t carry.

    Aniston’s Friends colleagues Lisa Kudrow & Courtney Cox have openly stated they wanted many children, but it never happened for them.
    Neither woman opted to adopt to expand their one child families in alternate ways, it’s probably something all 3 women bond over.

    (Worth remembering HW stars of yore, like Joan Crawford and Josephine Baker, who adopted did it purely for the optics, but ended up brutal to their adoptees. So some are just not cut out for it).

    • HelloDannie says:

      I’ve heard of Joan Crawford being a bad mom but not Josephine Baker. She adopted 12 international kids from different countries whom she lovingly called her “rainbow tribe” in addition to her longstanding civil rights activism.

    • Züri says:

      “To feel the child the proper way?” You’ve just diminished the experiences of so many people who may not have been able or chose not to carry a child, among others.

      There is no “proper” way, every person has the right to determine what is appropriate for themselves.

  3. Maddy says:

    I get where she’s coming from and I’m glad she’s being honest with herself. It sounds like she put a lot of thought into it and came to the conclusion that adopting a child simply isn’t for her. Good for her and the children she *didn’t* adopt.
    Unfortunately, I can already see people calling her all kinds of selfish, just because she has the financial means to provide many, many children with what they believe would be a better life, while not taking into account how important the emotional bond between parent and child is, especially if the child is adopted.

    Side note: I know she’s one of the first ones that come to mind when it comes to celebs who adopted children, but mentioning Angie in a Jen post more or less unprompted will never not feel weird to me.

    • Becks1 says:

      I know what you mean. she’s the most obvious comparison, but here it doesn’t fit entirely because she does have three biological children.

      • Lens says:

        Have to admit, going to that example bothered me too.There are plenty of other Hollywood women to show as examples – especially those who got to be a certain age and it never happened for them – like Diane Keaton, Charlize, Connie Britton, Jamie Lee Curtis, Sandra bullock, the list could go on. I always felt if you really wanted a child, and not just an ego thing you would adopt. I think Angie had bio kids because Pitt wanted his DNA out there. But full disclosure -my only grandkids are adopted and my daughter said they went through 2 grieving periods -first when they found out they had infertility and second when they found out they would never have their own biological kids. But they are so happy they have 2 children now. And I can’t imagine being able to love any bio grandkids more.

      • Museum Lady and the Law says:

        This was the first thing I thought. Stop comparing the two.
        Kudos to Angelina for being able to adopt, and kudos to Jen for knowing what she wanted and not being afraid to say so. I’m not a mother and that was my choice. I don’t feel I should have to explain what my reasons are to anyone, but others should respect that my choice was equally valid. I worked with a woman who tried to shame me for my choice, even going so far as to say my time wasn’t as valuable as hers because I didn’t have kids and she did.

        Leave Jen alone.

    • Smart&Messy says:

      I agree about the Angelina example. Not the same story at all, she has bio kids, and such a low blow. Knowing that she actually wanted kids, it must have been so painful to realize her cheating husband started a family with another woman behind her back. The pap photos of him and Maddox, and the press going on about kids being the reason he cheated. So yeah, let’s not bring up Angie about this. As others have said there are many good example, but why compare at all.

      • Smart&Messy says:

        Now that I posted my pro Jen comment, I have another one. Lol. I’m not sure why she is bringing this up now. Don’t get me wrong, infertility, adoption, letting it go at a certain age or not are incredibly important and painful topics. But I feel like she used the tabloid speculation about pregnancy for decades for her PR and now that it has stopped she brought it back with a new angle. And I’m not saying that her story is not true. It’s just convenient timing now that her PR lost its central topic.

      • Changing my name because I can says:

        @Smart&Messy.
        She didn’t bring it up, though. She was asked.

      • Yuuup says:

        All 3 parties, including Aniston and her friends- claim Pitt didn’t cheat. Angelina said she didn’t cheat or have an affair with Pitt. Pitt said same. Aniston who at first was p*ssed at Pitt- said that was because he didn’t publicly mourn their relationship long enough. Since she was in a relationship with Vince Vaughn at the same time- we don’t know how long she wanted Pitt to wait, to improve the optics. But THE POINT, and her eagerness to rehabilitate the guy post his domestic violence of Angelina and the kids- is evident, that other than piss her off by making Angelina *next* there was no affair.
        Let’s keep it 100.
        A lot of misogynist women like keeping the homewrecker story alive (further laughable because Pitt pursued Angelina) to hate on Angelina Jolie.

  4. Crystal says:

    My following statement is not a criticism of Jennifer because she obviously has complicated feelings about this. And people have all sorts of journeys for how they conceive and have children.
    Nevertheless- People can criticize me for this if they want and I don’t really care; I don’t really think the “I don’t want to adopt because I don’t want to raise someone else’s kid” kind of people are great parent material in general if that’s how they think. They’re children, not carbon copies.
    Having kids biologically is no guarantee you will feel a biological bond with the child you carry. Plenty of women with awful postpartum can attest.

    • lisa says:

      I agree. I also dont relate to the idea that your DNA is special.

    • Chanteloup says:

      I am exactly on this page. There are nuances of course but people romanticizing having “a little mini-me!” running around is a huge red flag for me personally bc I’ve experienced too many ppl traumatizing kids by raising them to be who the parents think they should be instead of helping the kid become their OWN best self. There are too many self-centered narcissistic parents already.

    • Eleonor says:

      As an adopted child myself I couldn’t say it better.
      Everyone has a different pattern to follow.

    • ambel says:

      No criticism at all. Her comment also suggests she would not be the best stepmom.

    • Kitten says:

      Totally fair point. I’m not sure that means she would have been a bad parent but she should have worded that differently. Definitely a facile view of adoption that many people could find insulting.

    • Mrs.Krabapple says:

      I think it’s arrogance, that somehow a biological child will be better, smarter, prettier, more athletic, taller, etc., than some kid they adopt from a “lesser” family. But yeah, it’s a good thing someone like that doesn’t adopt.

      • Viva says:

        Totally agree. I’m an adopted person and my parents raised me to feel that I was their child, that they couldn’t love me any more no matter what the circumstances were. That she felt like this tells me she wouldn’t have been a great parent anyway.
        I’ve never liked her and frankly, this arrogant response speaks volumes about who she is. Adopted children are not lesser beings or less special.

      • JesMa says:

        She never once said her kid would be better. Just that she wanted a kid she shared DNA with. It is a personal decision and people should have freedom of choice to make their families however they want. Adoption is something people should wholeheartedly want to do themselves not due to pressure. I’ve seen way to many failed adoptions in my field to ever shame someone into it.

    • Abigail says:

      Came to write exactly this thank you. Can’t believe the amount of people agreeing with Aniston too. I fully understand not wanting kids at all and saying something like this, but if you really want kids and are wiling to go through tons of medical procedures and pay a lot of money and in the end you still don’t want to adopt them I’m sorry, you don’t really want kids, you have a narcissistic need to spread your DNA because you somehow think your DNA is better than other people’s. She may not have wanted to say this but she did in fact say it.

      • JesMa says:

        Nobody should be forced or shamed into adopting. It is something someone should do because they wholeheartedly want to. The fact is with your bio kid you know your medical history and what you did during the pregnancy. When you adopt who don’t always get the complete medical history of the parents or if the mother smoked, drank, or did drugs during her pregnancy. All of those factors can impact the baby. I’ve seen so many failed adoptions in my field. Severe mental health issues, RAD, fetal alcohol syndrome, etc. You can’t guarantee your bio kid won’t have any issues, but at least you can refrain from drugs/alcohol during the pregnancy and know that you and your partner don’t have schizophrenia.

    • Thinking says:

      She was smart not to adopt if there was a chance she wasn’t going to be a good parent to the child. I guess what she said is taboo, but it’s good she didn’t mess up someone else’s life if her heart wasn’t in it.

  5. Becks1 says:

    i’m glad she is being honest about this. Adoption is so often thrown out there as the solution – either to an unwanted pregnancy or to infertility struggles – and its not the solution for everyone. This woman was torn to shreds for years for not having kids – I remember people saying Brad Pitt was right to leave her because she didn’t want kids (and apparently all along she did and could not.)

    • ClammanderJen says:

      It’s important to remember, too, that adoption is EXPENSIVE. You are not walking into an orphanage and picking out an adorable baby; unless you have the resources and desire to immediately adopt a special needs child, in most cases you are expected to shell out $20,000+ throughout the process. And that’s just in state! Foreign adoptions skyrocket to $40k+ — and waitlists of years and years. So for anyone thinking, “wow, I’d really like to raise a child AND help alleviate some degree of poverty, humanitarian crisis, war, etc…” well, I hope you are in the 1%.

      • Crystal says:

        Private adoptions are expensive. Adopting from foster care is much reduced in cost and sometimes free.
        Most people want babies. That is their prerogative to decide, but the focus on that shapes the discussion and completely disregards older children in need of homes – to me that is part of the problem.

      • ClammanderJen says:

        You are correct, but foster children often carry some degree of trauma or behavioral needs — and not everyone has the resources (financial, physical, and emotional) to adequately address those needs. Bear in mind, we live in an economically f_cked up country, and most families are under-resourced for even conventional child-rearing. Consider the assistance offered in rural areas like mine — practically non-existent.

        I’m not arguing with anyone here, especially you — you’re absolutely correct — but there are so many layers and complications to this situation. That’s why dialogue is so important!

      • lisa says:

        private adoption isnt the only lane. I only know people who adopted babies out of foster care and it was free for each of them. and these are all healthy infants who require no special care.

      • Crystal says:

        To ClammanderJen:

        You have tapped into an important part of the discussion. I have heard people say “I don’t want to raise someone else’s kid they f***d up” (not anyone here obviously). It’s illuminating.
        You mentioned before about the concept of people wanting to adopt special-needs babies. The requirements for those children are no fewer than what many fosters require. Many biological children come into the world with various disorders and medical/emotional/psychological needs. And to have children biologically is to be prepared for the possibility of that no less than a foster child would need.

        Most families being under-resourced for child rearing (and the implications thereof) is the *reason* many foster children end up in the system in the first place.

        This is an opinion of mine people have disagreed with, but I do believe most people need to get down and dirty to be truly honest with themselves about what kids are about for them – and what emotional and psychological needs of the parents that the kids end up serving. That’s just me.

    • Kitten says:

      Well-said, Becks.

    • ClammanderJen says:

      I’d just like to wrap up my comments by saying it would be great if the “Pro-Life Party” was willing to invest in making the adoption process more accessible, affordable, and practical for everyone. Unfortunately, battling with (or against) the state for help does not make the process particularly appealing for many. I say this as a mother in a red state who was actively pursuing adoption, but ultimately dissuaded by the costs and difficulties of accessing the right resources.

  6. DeniseCB says:

    I’m not a Jennifer Aniston fan but I can appreciate her honesty with herself and think she made the right choice for hereself. There’s so much that goes into making the choice to adopt and if it’s not for you, it’s better to not put a child through that.

    • OkWaitAMinute says:

      The reaction to Jennifer Aniston, who I’d like to remind people has been complaining for 20yrs about people being ‘nosey,’ and in her business, and wanting a soap opera, and being rude, etc. – bringing up her vague IVF stories up (of indeterminate time frame and partner) (gee, wonder why she’d do that…) is funny.

      Seems like there’s a certain contingent who falls for it everytime. Why does she get zero pushback on doing this over and over again. If you don’t want people talking about you, and being curious about your womb and romances, why do YOU keep doing it? I mean I get it – she wants to craft with her power PR flacks, her own press and publicity. She wants you to just take it in, and not have an opinion. Not ask questions. Gee, was IVF with Pitt? or Theroux? Or maybe Vince Vaughn? Or maybe John Mayer? Maybe it was just the guy she married? Or maybe she was single and on her on? Why not include them in the process, OR even better – make clear, since you’re sharing…WHO you went on this journey with – I’m sure they were just as disappointed, for her, if not themselves.

      It would make sense, if she hadn’t already implied that she was open to making a family no matter what that entailed. She’d do this often. I remember. Saying she was open to adoption. Perhaps it was because she has these ‘close friends,’ or women that she admires, that are only mothers only by way of adoption – Sandra Bullock, Charlize Theron, Diane Keaton (RIP), and suggesting it’s an option for herself, made sense – because if you have friends that adopted, having seen it up close and personal, you’d keep your opinion about *DNA or the highway* to yourself.

      But hey, she has a right to change her mind about that as an option – and that’s all she would need to say. Adoption is an ardurous process. She’d have plenty of excuses besides I want a mini me, which sounds stupid OUT LOUD.

      She’s already broached the topic – by saying the ship has sailed, and adding that I’m fine and satisfied in my life.

      So I think she must be reacting to people in droves telling her, well the mom train hasn’t left the station – look at Diane, she adopted kids in her late 50s, or 60s. Now sure she has every reason NOT to want to do that – but the way you extricate yourself is not to imply that you only wanted a kid to see your original features (ahem) cloned. She shouldn’t feel any guilt if she never does that – but she seems so scarred by the suggestion she really didn’t want kids bad enough – that she wholesale insults the kids and parents of adopted families she knows.

      She is not that bright. Plus, I repeat – stop doing this ad nauseaum. If you don’t want people in your private life, then for the 947th time, stop talking about your private life and making people wonder who TF you’re talking about. Because we all know THAT was definitely a brilliant PR move, only for the fact at the time – it netted another 50 attacks against Angelina (OMG, poooooooor Jen, Angelina stole her man at her most vulnerable — as she was taking shots and going to IVF trying to get pregnant with BrAAAAAAAAAAAd’s baby…waaaah – that witch!! THEN she had the AUDACITY to get pregnant herself…GRRRRRRR….waaaaaaah)

      We all know that’s what they (she and CAA) wanted the end result to be.

  7. Mia4s says:

    This brings to mind Allison Janney’s great quote about how she was never sure she wanted kids and ultimately didn’t have any: “I would rather regret not having kids than have kids and regret that”

    Exactly. One choice you can grieve if needed and move on to a rich, full life. The other choice you are saddling another innocent human with your regrets and resentment. No two woman are the same. Is her choice the more “selfish” one? Who cares if it is! She’s harming no one.

    • Harla says:

      I always thought that I’d adopt but life moved in mysterious ways and I had 2 kids while I was pretty young. My daughter knew very early on that she didn’t want kids, I never tried to dissuade her from that but admired her self-awareness. Her husband has 2 kids and my daughter is incredibly close to them so, live moved again in mysterious ways.

      • Jegede says:

        “live moves again in mysterious ways”. Yes it does.

        And your family’s story reminds me of Dolly Parton.

        Parton has been open about how she and her husband Carl, tried endlessly for a pregnancy that never happened.

        She eventually had a hysterectomy in her 30s or 40s?
        But now has almost 20 godchildren – including Miley Cyrus – and that’s how her own family came to her.

        Life is what happens, when we’re busy making plans.🤗

  8. Io says:

    Didn’t she have a notoriously toxic relationship with her mother? I think she didn’t want children for a variety of reasons and Imma leave it there

  9. Alexa says:

    This is such a sensitive topic and so individual to anybody dealing with it! I think she did everything right. Adoption is a tough road, but so is infertility and the deep wish for being a mother. I experienced both and had my doubts for a while. But it turns out I CAN love unconditionally and it doesn’t matter at all which womb the child grew in.

  10. Alicky says:

    And yet, if a man has no bio kids or doesn’t adopt, there’s no discussion whatsoever. No “selfish” label, nothing. smh

  11. Durga says:

    Reflecting on why one wants to parent is always a good thing — rather than just blindly stumbling into it. And there are those who believe the desire to have a biological connection with a child is hardwired into the species. Regardless, it takes a degree of emotional maturity to recognize her own limitations when it comes to bonding with a child. No right or wrong here.

  12. Jezz says:

    You all are very sweet and kind. I read this and was sooooo judgemental. It seems terribly shallow to want your own DNA exclusively.

    • JesMa says:

      For me it wasn’t about my DNA. It was about control somewhat. Like I knew my family medical history and my husband’s. I never smoked, drugged, or drank alcohol. I ate healthy organic food, prenatal vitamins, and exercised. I also really wanted to experience being pregnant and nursing. Adoption could never give me that measure of control or the experiences I craved. Also in my line of work I’ve seen so many failed adoptions that I knew it wasn’t for me. Something like adopting a child with RAD or FAS is life changing. Those are two diagnoses that 100% would never befall my bio kids.

  13. Grace says:

    I don’t have kids (right guy, wrong time…..wrong guy, right time….), but not by choice. I am old now, and the early days of truly knowing I wouldn’t be a mother were truly emotionally difficult for me. Now, on the other side of it, but there will always be a hole in my heart about it. Sharing this to say, for some of us, it’s super complicated. We all have a story. Same for Jen, no matter how she chooses to share it with the world.

  14. Flamingo says:

    I never got the feeling Jennifer wanted kids. I wish we could normalize that for women. I do believe she did go through fertility treatments with Brad to appease him. Since he was literally giving interviews on how badly he wanted to be a Father. To beat her over her head with it for ‘failing him’. Not getting pregnant.

    Look how well that turned out for him. Jen dodged a big baby bullet not procreating with him.

  15. Day Drinker says:

    I wanted to read all the comments before I said anything. I’m a Jen Aniston fan, but my journey is different from hers and the commenters here. I knew from a very early age I didn’t want children. My late brother was 4 years older and felt the same. Complicated childhood. Our parents divorced when I was 13 months old, I have zero memory of my father. My brother did, and they were not good ones. This was when being a single mother wasn’t common. My mother, God rest her soul, saw that he was going to ruin her children and divorced him. She gave up everything for us kids. Although he had visitation rights he chose not to use them. Apparently remarried twice with kids, half siblings I’ve never had the desire to look up. I have 2 ex-husbands whom I was very clear early on that I didn’t want kids, both thought they could change my mind. Have you met me? I told you, you’re both gone and I don’t have kids. I’m so good with my friends kids, kept hearing I’d have been a great mom. Didn’t want to find out. We all have our journeys, I can’t relate to infertility, I have no idea if I was physically able to have kids, but I still sympathize with those goes through that struggle. I’ve been called selfish and self absorbed. Sticks and stones… However you choose to have a family, or not to, just be happy in life and know you made the right decision for you and your family. No judgement. No none is perfect. Kindness is free.

  16. Lee says:

    Making comments in the story like, “Angelina Jolie is that way, she loves her adopted children with ferocity,” is part of why children who join a family through adoption continue to unfortunately feel “othered.” The comments here are full of different ways children can join a family, and we don’t need to call those ways out in the present tense like this (we don’t define other children like that, we don’t say “IVF children,” or “donor egg children”). Angelina Jolie‘s children were adopted long ago, past tense, now they are just “her children.“ Full stop. Sorry, I know I’m on a rant, but a better way to phrase this might be to say “Angelina Jolie loves all her children fiercely, regardless of how they joined her family.”

    • paintybox says:

      @ Lee – it’s not a rant, it’s a full-hearted defense of what parenthood actually should be – being a parent to your children, no matter how your family was created, and loving them with all of your heart. Love makes the best families. Thank you. ❤️

  17. JFerber says:

    I just kinda felt she didn’t want kids because she enjoys her life so much and just never wanted children. It’s a legitimate choice. But I also think she didn’t want to be “not-a- mom-shamed” because her fans are a lot of married suburbanites with children. IMO it was fear of bad publicity that she always said she wanted children “with her own DNA.” For all I know, she DID want kids but had fertility problems, but it just seemed to me that she was perfectly happy without kids, but was too scared to say it. There are a million ways to shame women and it’s not only men who do it.

  18. Anare says:

    I think this is very much a personal decision and I skipped through all the comments because I am sure a bunch of people weighed in about how much they love their children regardless of how that child came to be their child. Fair enough, everyone is entitled to feel some kind of way about this! There are no right/wrong answers. What I think is a cheap shot is mentioning how much Angelina Jolie loves her adopted babies. Really Kaiser, Angelina Jolie has to be mentioned here? If this is sarcasm on your part I don’t find it funny but maybe I have a pole too far up my a$$. If it isn’t sarcasm, please think about it.

  19. Lolo says:

    People forget that your own biological child can come out with all the traits of both you AND your spouse that you hate most, are most triggered by, most disgusted by, most ashamed of. Just ask my mom. And it happens A LOT.

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