As soon as I saw Edward Enninful and Anna Wintour around King Charles and Queen Camilla during the royal state visit to the US last week, I knew we would be in for some bullsh-t. I even wrote that in the post about the King’s Trust gala in NYC – “And Edward Enninful. Remember this when they dust off some dumbf–k story about ‘Duchess Meghan was denied a Vogue cover!’ Enninful is fully sycophantic to Charles.” Well, congrats to the Daily Mail’s Alison Boshoff, because she wrote a completely bonkers hit piece about the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. It’s not just some stupid nonsense about Vogue covers either – apparently, Meghan is beefing with and/or despised by Anna Wintour, Edward Enninful, the Kardashians, Netflix, the Met Gala, and Lauren Sanchez. Let’s muddle through this absolute horsesh-t.

The Sussexes aren’t attending the Met Gala: Not attending? The Duke and Duchess of Sussex – yet again. Even though Meghan has plenty of fashion ambitions and pretensions – and, as we shall see, fashion is one of the revenue streams which she is hoping will help fund their lifestyle – the pair have once more failed to secure an invitation.

Trump reinforced the Sussexes’ unpopularity: President Trump only reinforced the Sussexes’ unpopularity when he remarked to my colleague Robert Hardman that Harry had done ‘too many things’ to come back to the fold of his family, adding: ‘That wife of his. Boy, what she’s done to that guy.’ And yet – and it feels as inevitable as a tolling bell – the Sussexes still found a way to insert themselves into the media discourse this week.

The Sussexes are beefing with everyone in California: For it’s all too apparent that the Sussexes no longer have the help of the powerful and influential protectors who could unlock a life of commercial plenty. Speaking to sources in California, the story told is one of wall-to-wall fall-outs and alienation. Put simply, it means in the circles that matter, Meghan and Harry no longer have any bridges left to burn. One source says: ‘They have truly lost the plot. I hear she’s spiralling badly because she knows nothing is working. The whole thing about her [As Ever] stuff selling out isn’t true any more. I don’t think either of them are happy.’

Anna Wintour hates Meghan: One of the prime figures in this list is Anna Wintour, who attended a charity gala with Charles and Camilla in New York on Wednesday. The source says Dame Anna turned against Meghan in 2019 when she collaborated with then British Vogue editor Edward Enninful on a ‘Forces for Change’ issue of the magazine. ‘Meghan pledged her allegiance to Enninful which p***ed off Anna,’ says the source, adding: ‘Anna hates her. Meghan doesn’t want to pay, and never returns things. Also, Anna loves the Royal Family. She is a Dame. Anna would have hated how they [the Sussexes] handled their exit from The Firm.’

No brand ambassadorships for Meghan! For a self-confessed fashionista like Meghan, becoming an ambassador for Chanel, Dior or another major fashion house would be a dream come true – and a wonderful stream of revenue. But Wintour is the kingmaker in this realm and without her patronage it remains out of reach.

Meghan could have been friends with Lauren Sanchez: A source suggests Meghan has failed to make a potentially useful friend here, too. ‘She snubbed Lauren before the [Bezos] wedding. Meghan was invited to things by Lauren and didn’t want to go. She didn’t want to be seen with her because she thought she was trashy.’

The Kardashians: As a result, says a source, the Kardashians have also had enough of Harry and Meghan: ‘The Kardashians are over them.’ If you are trying to make a lifestyle business fly on social media, it would be useful to be friends with the most followed people on the planet. But Kris Jenner hasn’t liked a single post on Meghan’s Instagram pages since last year.

The Sussexes are planning an African tour? Some believe the couple are now planning a similar tour in Africa. More of this is likely in July, when Harry is due to attend a launch event for the 2027 Invictus Games in Birmingham. It all feels murky because the couple’s activities are still being carried out with an implicit and explicit ‘Royal’ imprimatur.

Desperate for money! For all the talk of [As Ever’s] ‘test mode’, though, the path appears to be set – ‘working royal’ engagements plus commercial ventures which will lean on their status. One associate says: ‘They don’t have a choice at this point. They really need the money.’ The couple’s expenses are huge: that Montecito mansion, taxes and upkeep, security and travel, with some estimates reckoning they need to clear $5 million a year just to keep going.

Meghan rejected J. Crew: Meghan is thought to have turned down deals to be the face of a capsule range at middle-middle fashion brands (I’m told American label J. Crew was interested). One wonders whether she can keep up this resistance to ‘lesser’ brands with bills to pay. It’s hard to see her current collaboration with OneOff amounting to much.

Netflix is done with the Sussexes: To be fair to ted Sarandos, he tried to help Meghan and Harry save face when he invited them to an event to launch the second season of the prestige drama Beef in April. Yet again, though, it all went wrong. Pictures of the couple were removed by Getty Images 24 hours after being published, even though Netflix had okayed them all. The theory is Meghan didn’t like the way she appeared to be ‘clinging’ to Sarandos’s wife, Nicole Avant. My source is blunt about what is going on: ‘Nicole [Avant] hates her. So does Bela [Bajaria, a key Netflix executive] and Ted.’ As to why, it’s said Netflix came to understand the Sussex team were ‘briefing against one of their executives’, although it’s not clear if that was on anyone’s orders.

[From The Daily Mail]

The whole piece is like five pages long, full of deranger fan-fic about how Harry and Meghan are flailing around, alienating everyone. It sounds like Boshoff has the same sources as Variety’s Matt Donnelly, who was absolutely furious when Harry and Meghan turned up at the Beef event with Ted Sarandos. Funny thing about that Beef event – for weeks, the Mail has tried to make “those photos disappeared!” into a thing. It’s not a thing. The photo of Meghan, Harry, Ted Sarandos and his wife Nicole is still on Getty Images. The other photos didn’t “disappear” – they weren’t on Getty in the first place, they were some kind of Netflix exclusive hand-out. As for the rest of it… we need a way to describe these increasingly hysterical alternate-universe stories. It would crack me up if Meghan was beefing with Lauren Sanchez, but I don’t even think that’s true.

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Photos courtesy of the Kardashians’ Instagram, Backgrid, Getty Images.