The Spectator has an endless supply of commentators who chime in on the Windsors and Sussexes. I can barely keep track of all of these writers, especially when half of them seem to have a weekly column devoted to crying about the Duchess of Sussex. Well, Alexander Larman has done his fair share of screaming about Meghan too, but what’s interesting is that he seems equally disgusted with the Prince and Princess of Wales. The Spectator published a curious piece by Larman called “Meet the Middletons – 15 years on; The antics – literary or otherwise – of the Princess of Wales’s family.” Pointing out that Kate comes from a gauche family of grifters? Fascinating. Even more interesting, Larman mentions “the odd salacious rumor about what William gets up to in Norfolk.” Scandalized by rose-bush pruning once again.

This week has seen Prince William and Catherine Middleton celebrate 15 years of marriage, with the occasion marked by a suitably heartwarming family photograph of them and their children on holiday in Cornwall. Theirs has been a union that has generally received a good press, bar the odd salacious rumour about what William gets up to in Norfolk and near-constant speculation about Kate’s weight and appearance. However, her revelation two years ago that she was suffering from cancer led to a wave of public sympathy that has suggested that she, not Meghan, is the true heir to the compassionate, grounded legacy of Princess Diana.

If only the same might be said of the rest of her family. Kate’s grace and dignity stands in stark contrast to the ridiculous and often tawdry antics of the other Middletons, who arrived on the scene the best part of two decades ago and have been tabloid mainstays ever since. The first to attract attention was Carole Middleton, who swiftly became catnip to the media through a combination of her steely ambition for her daughter (suggesting that she attend the University of St Andrews and study history of art so that she would have the best chance of snaring herself a real-life prince) and for her past career as a flight attendant for British Airways.

It was reported, with some glee, that William’s snobbish friends would chant ‘Doors to manual’ whenever her name was mentioned, and while we at The Spectator cannot condone such boorish and classist behaviour, there is no doubt that the formidable Mrs Middleton is firmly in the line of such fictitious social climbers as Mrs Bennett and Hyacinth Bucket. She received the back-handed compliment of being portrayed by the great classical actress Eve Best in the final series of The Crown. Aficionados of Best’s theatrical work might remember her playing such characters as Lady Macbeth and the Duchess of Malfi, both of which undoubtedly prepared her for the task that she faced of playing someone with similarly grand aspirations for her loved ones.

[From The Spectator]

Larman also bashes dodgy Uncle Gary Goldsmith, Pippa Middleton and James Middleton, although he spares Pippa and James’ spouses. I do enjoy the assessment of Carole Middleton though, as some kind of blend of Hyacinth Bucket and Lady Macbeth. One thing has always been certain: once the Middletons got their hooks into William, they were never letting go. Which isn’t to say that William isn’t given a wide berth by Carole, Kate and the rest of the Middleton clan. They’re totally fine with his extracurriculars, including the “odd salacious rumour about what William gets up to in Norfolk.” Speaking of, a two-month-old clip of Larman describing why William is a terrible “advertisement” for the monarchy and he’s going to run the monarchy into the ground when he’s king.

"Perhaps Prince William’s image of the perfect family life isn’t true."

The day will come when these “royal correspondents” tell the truth. Even a POS like Alexander Larman can admit there may be some truth to that man’s alleged cheating habits, which would explain Forest Lodge. pic.twitter.com/nDCHDRa8os

— Nico Mac (@Nicomac_666) March 2, 2026

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.