Yesterday, I covered some of the biggest revelations (thus far) from the Mail’s serialization of Charles Spencer’s Swan Song. Then-Prince Charles’ behavior after Princess Diana’s death was extremely weird and thought-provoking. He sounded less like a man mourning the death of the mother of his children and more like a man giddy with his “freedom.” Charles Spencer also dropped a bomb about Diana telling him that then-Prince Charles was in love with his valet? Which I’m talking about further in a different post. But I wanted to get to these sections, where Spencer is recalling what he knew about Diana’s marriage as it happened. Some of this is straight from what Diana told people at the time, including what she told Andrew Morton.

Diana’s wedding day: On the day of Diana’s wedding I woke early and went to Clarence House, where I found her already in her wedding dress, sitting quietly in front of a mirror. Only much later would I discover that, as she confided to a close friend, her husband-­to-­be had told her the previous day that she needed to know he was very happy to marry her, but he was not actually in love with her. Diana had to absorb that hammer blow while also feeling certain that Prince Charles was entering their marriage with his heart elsewhere.

Diana’s tears at the airport: A month after her engagement, she had been photographed in tears saying goodbye to Prince Charles as he was about to board a plane on official business. Newspapers cooed with delight at what they thought to be the pain of a lovestruck innocent being parted from her fiancé. The truth was very different. Diana was completely at sea, having found a bracelet that Prince Charles had bought for Camilla.

Diana wanted to end the engagement: A month or so after that, she became so concerned she even tried to break off their engagement. The catalyst was Prince Andrew’s 21st birthday party, hosted by the Queen and Prince Philip at Windsor Castle, at which I was also one of the 650 guests. Prince Charles had returned that day from an official trip to New York and Diana had been greatly looking forward to being reunited and spending the party at his side. But he had shown next to no interest in her, and she – deeply hurt, confused and increasingly concerned – ­danced with others, including me, instead.

Diana went to see her father, Johnny Spencer: Immediately after that evening of escalating heartbreak, Diana went to see my father. She told him she could not go through with marriage to a man who clearly did not love her. My father was appalled and said it was impossible to pull out of such an enormous commitment at that point. Maybe he had spent too many years in thrall, and in service, to the Queen to put his duty as a father first. He always adored Diana, but what she was proposing was counter to the code on which he had been brought up, and which he never seemed to question. He could not agree to her breaking her engagement, and so deeply embarrassing the Royal Family.

Prince Charles called his fiancee “chubby”: She would tell me much later that on the day of her wedding she had been in the throes of her eating disorder for five months. She had recoiled from her engagement day photographs feeling that, at ten and a half stone, her 5ft 10in frame looked heavier than she wanted it to. Her insecurity was increased a few days after the engagement announcement when Prince Charles had squeezed her waist and said, ‘Oh, a bit chubby here, aren’t we?’ This was a comment she found devastating (she would later share with me that her waist shrank from 29 to 23½ inches between her engagement and her marriage).

The palace fired Diana’s longtime doctor: Meanwhile, the royal machine swung into action to claim her life. A letter was sent to our long-term family GP, Mike Bloomer, a close friend of my mother and stepfather, informing him that he was no longer to tend to Diana: the royal doctors would be taking over her care now. But Dr Bloomer, offended by the Palace’s highhandedness, wrote back, objecting. He said he had known Diana for most of her life, and this would surely make him useful to her still. He was quickly slapped down, and dismissed without Diana’s approval. She was handed over to Dr John Batten, a 58-­year-­old who had been the Queen’s physician since 1974 – a man she did not know at all. This was, I believe, a monumental blunder. Mike Bloomer had successfully helped people we knew well with similar dependency battles to the one Diana was now facing. He could hardly have done worse than the medical team my sister was reluctantly committed to. I am sure that he would most likely have done better.

Spencer believes his sister had ADHD: “I am convinced now that Diana had ADHD, and that as part of that condition she suffered from Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (as do I). This is an intense emotional pain in the face of others’ rejection or criticism, which amplified her wounded response to her husband’s suggestions. As someone who has been divorced three times (from women who are all double divorcées), I am fully aware, from personal knowledge, and the experience of those I have loved, how challenging marriage can be. I am not hypocritical enough to judge or criticise anyone else’s marital record. I am merely recording how my sister felt and am not assessing whether she was right or not.

The palace implanted the seeds of the “crazy Diana” narrative: Diana told me there was even talk of a temporary separation, early on, and experts were summoned to see what therapeutic support could be given. The newlyweds were advised to compose a contract, with both spouses finding areas where they might surrender a little to the other, so the relationship could survive. There was, at this time, concern at Diana having explosive outbursts when she was at her unhappiest. Palace witnesses to these spoke up for Prince Charles, as they would, and said that at times Diana struck them as troubled. When members of our family were questioned, they were adamant that Diana had never exhibited any such behaviour before the wedding. It is a sad fact that, in her later years, Diana drove herself more than once to Beachy Head, the highest chalk sea cliff in England, while contemplating ending it all. Her love for her sons stopped her from going further.

[From The Daily Mail]

Whenever I remember how the Windsors treated Diana during her engagement and in the early years of her marriage, I get angry on her behalf all over again. King Charles was a buffoon, and he never wanted anything to do with having a young wife who needed guidance and help. The Windsors were too busy being jealous of Diana and trying to break her spirit to question whether they could have been genuinely helping her. I think it’s more than likely that Diana and Charles both realized during their engagement that they did not belong together, but both were forced into the arrangement by their families, basically. Poor Diana, truly.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.