I worry about Nikki Reed, I really do. There’s something off about her relationship with Ian Somerhalder in that he seems controlling. Remember the story they told about how Ian dumped Nikki’s birth control down the toilet one by one when they first started dating? They were on vacation in Spain at the time so the prescription would not have been easy to replace. What’s more is that Ian had a friend who was on vacation with them tape Nikki as she freaked out while he discarded her pills. Nikki only learned that the footage existed when they discussed it on a podcast. They did not agree ahead of time that Nikki would go off birth control. So sometimes, when I see photos of Nikki, I analyze them to make sure she looks ok. Reproductive coercion is a form of abuse, although Ian and Nikki acknowledged that, apologized and said that situation did not apply to them.
Anyway these two had a baby together in August of 2017, a little girl named Bodhi Soleil. Nikki recently posted a beautiful photo to Instagram describing how hard it is to get Bodhi to eat baby food and stating that she’s still nursing her. Here’s the picture and I’m excerpting the caption below so it’s easier to read:
Here’s the caption:
I often get asked how long I plan on breastfeeding. To be honest, I have no idea how long her and I will be on this journey together. I follow her lead, and she tells me exactly what she needs. At 20 months she is only just becoming interested in food. I discovered after a year of blending and smooshing and mashing, that my daughter doesn’t like mushy baby food. Wild right? It wasn’t until someone suggested I skip puréed food and go straight to finger foods that she became intrigued by what was on her plate. Who knew some kids just don’t ever go for blended baby food. I tried bananas, avocado, all the semi-soft good stuff and she rejected everything. Never in a million years did I think to skip that step when she only had two teeth. Also, I thought all babies loved avocado! So all you mamas out there having trouble feeding your little one the mushy stuff, maybe try over-steamed veggies diced up itty bitty so he/she can play with textures. I wish someone had told me this sooner! If your little one isn’t eating puréed solids, they might want to go straight for big people food! Right now thats where were at, still breastfeeding and skipping right to finger foods. Also, in case you need to hear it again because I definitely did, whatever you’re doing you are doing it right! Every baby is on their own path doing things when and how they need to, and our job is to trust our gut, talk to other mamas and just go with the flow! Ps accidental matching outfits…come on! This bloomer/hat combo courtesy of both Grandmas making all my baby-wardrobe dreams I didn’t know I had come true 🙂
I love that little hat on Bodhi! That’s a great way to cover up actually, not that you should have to, but it’s clever to put a little sunhat on the baby. They also look so cute in their matching outfits. As for feeding, it sounds like she’s got it under control and like the baby isn’t underfed and is just moving to finger foods. I guess that happens with some babies. She’s right that you have to do what feels right as a mom and people should stop being nosy about how long she’s going to nurse.
The World Health Organization recommends exclusive nursing up until six months of age, introducing food around that time and continuing nursing to age two and beyond. There’s nothing weird or abnormal about breastfeeding a toddler. It’s every mother’s business whether she bottle feeds or breastfeeds and how long she does that. A lot of women in the comments on Nikki’s post are recommending baby-led weaning. There are some ignorant comments about how you should stop when the baby has teeth (no that’s not a thing), but the other commenters are schooling them.
I’m glad Nikki is doing ok and it looks like their baby is too. Nikki recently posted this video where she’s doing acrobatic moves on Ian’s feet. It’s crazy! I feel like I’m doing sporty couples stuff when we go hiking. This is just beyond.
This is creepy
Photos credit: WENN, Avalon.red and via Instagram
These two give me the creeps and I’m not entirely certain why.
👍
They’re vampires…
She’s so right that every baby is different and we are all doing what’s right for that individual baby.
I would have breastfed my first for years, but he weaned himself at 11 months and I was a little heartbroken. He was just very very easy to nurse, easy going in general. I had no idea nursing could be super hard and stressful until my second…
My second baby I only nursed to 7 months and it was incredibly difficult to even get that far. She was a big time biter, constant comfort nurser, and needed way more milk than my body could supply but she wouldn’t take a supplemental bottle. It was all very stressful and difficult and we had much more peace when I got her on a bottle finally.
You can never know what a mother and baby’s breastfeeding journey has entailed. My motto is “never judge how a parent feeds a baby!”
This is so much like what happened with my two! My oldest went to about 13-14 months and then more or less self-weaned at that point. I felt pretty ok about it because he was clearly ready, and he also had a mouthful of teeth and loved eating real food. He didn’t much care for purées either. To this day (he’s 9) he eats everything, isn’t picky, and loves to cook. My second kiddo… It’s been heartbreakingly hard. He never nursed well, even from day 1. It was a constant struggle with lactation consultants, tongue tie clips, everything I could try. Didn’t help and he gave up nursing completely by 6 months. I couldn’t keep up my supply with pumping at work, so he’s been on formula. He turns one this month and even though I know it’s not some kind of epic failure, I still feel like it is. I have cried so much over it. I want to let go of the feeling that I failed him but I still can’t.
It’s like I can rationally agree that what Reed says is right on, and that whatever you’re trying you’re doing great, but I can’t get there emotionally.
I get really sad when I read about someone nursing until 20 months. 🙁
Why do you get really sad? I bfed mine until he was 2 and a half almost, and I combined bf and babyled weaning. My toddler is happy, healthy by all accounts and in breadtfeeding on dwmand, babyled weaning and normal, gradual weaning from bf, I respected all the recommendations of WHO.
I have to admit I don’t get your “really sad” comment; forgive me, but that sounds really judgey-in, ehy would you be sad for someone elses decisions and behavior which is not harmful to you, or person doing it?
I could be wrong, but I think what she’s saying is that she struggled so much with her second child, and wished she could have been one of those moms who blissfully breastfed until they gently self-weaned. She referenced where Nikki said something about “whatever you’re trying, you’re doing great”, but she can’t quite shake the feelings of inadequacy, so when she reads about people nursing so long, so easily, it hurts. That’s how I read that.
She’s sad because she wasn’t able to do it herself. She’s not judging you, she wishes that she could have nursed for longer.
Lindy: both of your babies are lucky to have such a great mama! The feeling of failure can be hard to overcome (mine would never latch, I unhappily pumped for 10 months until I just couldn’t do it anymore). BUT, a happy and healthy mama is so important for a baby and nothing, not even breastfeeding until they’re 2, can replace that! I hope you are able to come to peace with it!
Lindy,
(I think i remember saying before it’s almost weird how similar our situations are, we both have a 9-year-old & an infant and i think we’re also the same age; I’m 42.) I’ve been going through the same exact situation with my 7-month-old son. He breastfed when he was first born, but with difficulty; we discovered he was “tongue-tied” so had that corrected, but then my breasts became engorged & rock-hard and a whole host of other problems. He became used to using a bottle in that time, and after that would not nurse no matter what. (And i tried EVERYTHING–lactation consultants, nipple shields, you name it.) So i pumped.–Up until a month ago when my milk dried up. We are in process of moving & other stressful things going on and i just couldn’t keep up my milk supply. I have felt guilty & full of regret throughout his whole life so far over my failure at nursing. I really wanted to nurse him for a good long time, and it just didn’t work out and now that my milk is gone i just feel like I’ve let him down. My 9-year-old refused to nurse as well (wouldn’t latch) and i really wanted the experience of nursing my son. I see how easy it is for most mothers, and i get very jealous. Just wanted to tell you that someone else is going through similar feelings as you!
Geekychick, chill and re-read what she wrote without your lens of persecution.
Lindy, I totally get it. My first was a little easier, but we still had the struggle of lip and tongue tie and reflux (odd feeding positions). I always had to hold my breast and guide the entire time, so I feel a twinge of jealousy when I see a woman feed so easily hands-free.
Lindy I get you on the sadness. The bond I had with my easy nursing child was amazing. Nursing was a very special part of his babyhood and one that I assumed I would enjoy again with my daughter.
I do feel sad that it was never easy with her and we never got that sweet, relaxed, nurturing and bonding breastfeeding experience. It was a loss, only because I so truly expected to be able to have that again.
It’s taken me a little longer to fully bond with her, whereas with my first it was an instant bond. BUT i know I did all I could for her with breastfeeding, and seeing our bond grow and grow as she gets older and can communicate is turning out to be just as amazing an experience as the instant bond with my son was. Both are beautiful experiences. But not having been able to peacefully breastfeed her will always sting a little.
Ew, geekychick. Read before you comment next time.
I’m really sorry Lindy, I acutally re-read and edited, but it obviously didn’t come through. My comment sounds (and is, in this original form) very insensitive and wrong.
The edited version was normal, I swear.
It sounds like she’s just talking about baby led weaning and I’m surprised with how crunchy these two make themselves out to be that she had never heard of it before. I did it with my oldest son and it was so much easier for us. Did the same with my twins after that as well.
My thoughts as well, it’s not like baby led weaning is a novelty or something obscure.
His hair looks atrocious. I used to think he was so handsome in Vampire Diaries but now…not so much.
It’s bordering on Hitler hair. No bueno.
It looks like he got drunk and took clippers to his head haphazardly.
maybe he’s having trouble aging and thought he needed a new look? Not sure why the haircut of an Octoberfest extra was his pick, but as long as he loves it..
I don’t worry about her at all. We never know what’s going on in anyone’s relationship but I do think that whole thing about the birth control was overblown since Nikki herself stated it was a joke. Now if it was a funny joke is up for debate.
Just a quick reminder that May 28th is International Ian Somerhalder Day, so be prepared everyone. Just remember that it is His day! (His freak out about that was epic)
I don’t buy she’d never heard of baby-led weaning. That said, good on her for highlighting nursing past 1 and addressing that there’s no one rule on how long someone nurses. I still nurse my 2 year old once or twice a day and I’ve told a limited number of open minded people because I always get the “but he has all those teeth” or “but he eats regular food now” remarks as if that has anything to do with our breastfeeding journey. If it’s not your nipple, it’s not your business.
I nursed both kids until they were three. The last year and a half it was really just a comfort thing for the kids at bedtime and when they woke up. We both loved it though so there was no way I was going to end it before we were all ready.
Nikki Reed is an anti-vaxxer https://twitter.com/nikkireed_i_am/status/673189750212321281?lang=en
Also…isn’t that Nikki’s brother ( and not Ian) in the acroyoga video? She often posts videos of her doing yoga with him.
That tweet is from 4 years ago. And she never stated she was anti-vaxx. I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt. She wasn’t a mother then and a lot can change in 4 years. People can educate themselves and change their minds.
Now if she were to come out as anti-vaxx now that would be a different story.
Her entire IG is about ‘natural remedies’ and doing stuff in hyperbaric chambers and lowkey fearmongers about ‘chemicals’…I’m surprised she hasn’t warned us about fluoroide in water.
So my baby got teeth at 4 months. For several days after she would bite me when i tried to feed her and when i yelped in pain one time it scared her so much she stopped feeding. The despair I felt not being able to fed her was awful. I figured out I could feed her while she was partially asleep, during naps and all night. But we got it sorted out and I breastfeed her til she was 3.
No shame at all! I let my babies lead the way all through their lives. I suppose I was a montessori mom without the montessori school lol. My middle son would only drink water/juice from bottles…so frustrating and weird! I breastfed him for about 20 months as well when he went directly to a sippy cup and finger food. The other two kids were pigs. Oinkers of the highest order. One wanted so much during feedings, my milk supply could’ve fed a small country. The youngest simply wanted his ‘food’ at the ready for 24/7 grazing. Crazy kids.
Is it just me or is she looking a little bit like Joan Crawford in these pics?
It’s not just you. I got the same vibe.
I nirsed mine until he was two and a half, but the last year it was mostly for comfort. and immunity! those beutiful days when he’d never get sick. :))
LOL. My daughter breastfed until she was 2 and caught every darn bug that came our way. Oh well. She loved nursing, it was definitely a comfort thing.
Ditto. My daughter constantly had ear infections even though I nursed her until she was three. The antibiotics upset her stomach so much, however, the only thing she would drink/eat was my breastmilk. And yes, it was also a huge comfort thing. I babysat a baby the other day and didn’t know what to do when he cried – my boob was always my go to move when my kids got upset as babies!
Eh, it’s a fact-breastfeeding is good for immunity. It doesn’t give you perfect immunity-no one is saying that.
When I stopped breastfeeding, my son got 4 infections in 6months-that’s four cures of antibiotics. It turns out, he has a third mandula (IDK how it’s called in English), we just didn’t know because he never got sick before so the doctors never checked. When they realized, I was told he remained so healthy specifically bc of breastfeeding.
https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/breastfeeding-and-immunity
Jess, I hear you about the comfort boob thing. 😀
I feel really bad about this, because I honestly believe that mothers should (if they can and want to) breastfeed their babies for as long as they want to and as long as the baby wants to, and I’ve never thought twice when seeing a mother nurse her baby in public — but on the rare occasions I’ve seen a mother nursing a toddler or a child that looked to be 2 years or so, I felt really… I don’t know. Creeped out?
And it’s not because I view breasts as sexual, or anything weird like that. My friend told me the same thing. I guess we don’t understand enough about child development. Because I’m sure my mind simplifies it way too much, thinking toddlers are a lot more independent than babies and they’re growing up and don’t need to nurse anymore. I’m not trying to judge anyone. I just read this and felt guilty for feeling weird about it.
There’s no need for guilt! It is weird when a toddler can ask mommy for milk, or boobie, or whatever lol. For me, I think it’s time for weening when they’re getting adequate nutrition elsewhere. There’s no need for your child to say, ‘Mom I’m hungry: take off your shirt.’
Okay, that’s just your own issue, not anything remotely backed by research. It’s not “weird.”
Lol, I breastfed for two years. I’m talking 6, 7, 8, 9. If you’re like Lysa Arryn, breastfeeding a 10yo, you’ll have issues of your own to deal with lmao! I can’t image not breastfeeding, and I realize I was lucky in having zero problems with the boys. Weird is in eyes of beholders and isn’t a shameful word. You sound very touchy. I, like every mom I’ve ever known, digested shelves of pregnancy, baby, toddler, child literature. My la leche rep and I spent quite a bit of time trying to find the best pumps for me because my spawn were huge piggies lol. I breastfed everywhere I went too. Get off your sanctimonious high horse.
@Mabs. Nope – not weird when a toddler can ask to nurse. It’s fine if you wanted to wean your kids before they could talk, but that was your choice. I thought it was weird to wean a little kid who still looks to me for everything and wanted to nurse for a variety of reasons just because some in society have decided nursing is only okay for a certain age so I didn’t do it. You’ve got no basis for imposing that judgment on anyone else.
This is my last comment on the subject lol. Because you don’t know me or aren’t familiar with my cynical and self-depricating posts, I’ll throw the towel in. Everything I’ve said comes from my babies, my breastfeeding adventures and my opinions. I’ve never, nor would I ever, come close to imposing anything pertaining to my life on anyone else in the universe. In fact, you’re doing the very same thing to me. I’m feeling attacked because I can understand how many women find certain breastfeeding bullet points weird. It is perfectly fine for them to think something is amiss or in uncharted territory just as it’s perfectly fine for those of us who have experienced walking around the house, udders hanging out and smelling of warm milk to laugh at ourselves, say it’s weird or that it’s irrefutable heaven on earth. Damn. Cray cray much?
Don’t feel guilty. The reality is our society puts pressure on children from the earliest age to become independent as soon as possible. Breastfeeding for toddlers is usually more about comfort and re-connecting with their mother than it is about nutrition. They may look deceptively independent but their world is very stormy and intense; big feelings that they can’t verbalize or process, struggling for autonomy, frequently bumping into their own limitations in a world which is not adjusted for small people like them. Breastfeeding is a little retreat into their safe place for when it gets too much.
Mabs, the natural weaning age for humans is estimated to be between 2 and 7 years – while it may not be most people’s cup of tea to breastfeed until school age, it’s not weird from a scientific perspective. When the choice is completely with the child, most kids seem to stop breastfeeding between 3 and 4 years of age.
http://kathydettwyler.weebly.com/uploads/3/0/9/1/30918011/when_to_wean_clin_obstetrics_2004.pdf
Exactly. I’ve tried to explain this to a lot of people, and it’s very hard / impossible for most to overcome their powerful societally programmed reaction of “weird and gross.” There’s a lot of women who cut back breastfeeding toddlers to nighttime-only just to not have to deal with this hurtful feedback, without having to cut their kids off completely before they’re ready to lose that source of reassurance. If your partner and family aren’t supportive and you stop breastfeeding earlier than you and your child want to because of it, it’s a very upsetting experience.
I’m glad you said scientific perspective because I never indicated it’s wrong. Who said gross? Jiminy Christmas! Y’all want pics of my deflated two-week-old balloon boobs? Haha. Talk about weird!
It’s weird to me too. Visually creeps me out, idk why. I just think of babies needing to be breastfed, not toddlers. Mabs, xoxo, they’re being harsh on you. You didn’t say anything wrong.
Don’t feel guilty, unfortunately we were raised in a society that for decades tries to isolate and sexualize breastfeeding and make children independent as quick as possible so that parents can be a full time work force. :/
Actually, a 2-year old gets 68% of needed daily vitamins and minerals through breast milk. 🙂
I’m honestly much more inspired with the way you stated that it must be about you not being informed enough-if everyone would first stop and think about things that are bothering us (including me) and why that is, world would be a much calmer, happier place. 🙂 Thank you for reminding me of that! 🙂
Not to be shallow, but her face looks so different: thinner. She looks great, but I seem to remember a fuller face than those pictures.
I’m going to gloss over their creepy relationship and just say that she’s right about some kids not liking purees. My son got teeth early and got very interested in food shortly after his first teeth came in, so he started gumming (very) small amounts of food before 6 months because he was fascinated by it. At 6 months I stepped it up and started letting him have more, but he never liked most purees. Mashed sweet potatoes and daal were the mushiest options he would tolerate, and he wouldn’t touch bland store-bought purees, by and large. VERY strong preference for finger foods (not choking hazards, obv.) that he could bite with his front teeth and then mash up with his gums. He was still an enthusiastic nurser, and I can see how if the food on offer had all been mushy and unseasoned, he would have just refused it in favor of boob time.
I thought that was Jenny Slate
omg legit not gonna lie – he reminded me of hitler in that picture 🙁
Yeah, me too!
I have to say, I never understood the whole baby food thing. Where I come from, the general rule is that children will try solids at around 6 months, and they eat some part of whatever their parents are eating, but is also suitable for babies at that age. I don’t know anyone who feeds their children baby specific food. I’m not surprised that her kid wasn’t into that stuff either! It’s a lot more common than people think.