We haven’t talked about James Middleton in months. He went to his sister’s Together at Christmas concert, and that was the last time I wrote one word about him. Before that, James spent much of last September on a promotional trail. He was promoting his very odd memoir about his dog Ella, and he ended up giving interviews and book excerpts to a lot of outlets. There were some really odd headlines, like James claiming that QEII personally invited him and his dog to Sandringham (???) and how the Princess of Wales’ kids have spent so much time with his son Inigo. Well, I think James’s memoir sank without a trace, but he’s still trying to make himself into some sort of dog influencer? Like, he’s famous for having dogs and that’s his whole thing. Which was enough to get him yet another exclusive interview with Hello Magazine.

You couldn’t find a happier looking man than James Middleton as he shows the HELLO! team around the grounds of his farmhouse in the Berkshire countryside. In an exclusive interview the entrepreneur, who turns 38 this month, opens up about his busy life with his wife, Alizee, their 18-month-old son, Inigo, and their beloved pooches.

With his six dogs bouncing at his heels, the younger brother of the Princess of Wales is in his natural environment as he piles the pack into the back of a red tractor, throws in a few bales of hay, and heads off to a grassy meadow bathed in sunshine as we follow behind. James’s four cocker spaniels, which range in age from 14 to four years, are all related to Ella. He also has two golden retrievers. They are all impeccably behaved – quick to obey commands and trained to look straight into the camera when photographed.

Theirs must be a lively household… James smiles, ruefully: “Yes, getting up in the morning trying to feed six dogs and get Inigo fed and off to nursery is a challenge.”

“He spent the first year of his life thinking he was a dog,” he adds. “He’d crawl around on all fours, which was entertaining to watch. His first word was ‘woof’,” he jokes. “But he loves dogs, particularly Isla – he puts his arm around her neck and squeezes. He loves chatting to the animals – he shouts at the chickens and knows what noise a cow makes. He shares many of my loves – which are tractors, sheep and dogs.”

Luckily Alizee, a French financial analyst whom James first met in 2018 when Ella approached her table while they were both in meetings in a London club, is also a dog lover. When James darts back into the house to fetch his wife to meet us – they walk towards us holding hands – the dogs excitably greet her like a long-lost friend. “Over the years she’s built her own relationship and often goes out for walks and runs with them.”

Being a dog-owner helped James develop his nurturing skills when Inigo arrived.

“I’m less bothered about changing nappies as I’ve cleared up enough poo over the years!,” he admits. “And you have to have patience, you can’t rush anything. I often look at Alizee and say, ‘What did we do before we had Inigo? What did we do with all that time?’ But it’s like anything in life – you evolve and change. You can look back at the past and enjoy the memories, but not chase them today as it’s a waste of energy.”

[From Hello]

Question: what are we doing here? None of James’s moves have made much sense to me, including the whole “memoir about a dog, full of lies about the Windsors” thing. I assume this Hello exclusive was because his birthday is coming up AND he needed some money? I really do wonder if his poor wife is supporting this “country squire” cosplay. His dogs are well cared for, I will give him that. Is the arrangement, like, James is a stay-at-home husband who takes care of the baby and the animals while Alizée (hopefully) works to support their family?

Photos courtesy of James’s IG, Avalon Red, Cover Images.