Before everyone yells at me for using a trashy tabloid for this story, just know that I find this faux-reporting more realistic than the narratives pushed by Queen Camilla’s “friends” in the British media. Camilla’s “friends” always insist that she doesn’t get involved in King Charles’s relationships with his sons (lies) and that she’s the very picture of regal grace and sobriety (lmao). When really, Camilla exists in the zeitgeist as a half-in-the-bag interloper, sleazy mistress and someone willing to sell out anyone and everyone for sh-ts and giggles. So, at least one outlet is portraying her that way in 2026! The Globe Magazine (via Yahoo) claims that Camilla has been on a sh-tfaced tear lately, barking orders at King Charles and demanding that he cut all ties to Prince Harry. They also say that Camilla is doing the most to put the Princess of Wales in her place. Time is a flat circle and chaos is a ladder.

Queen Camilla is seizing power in the U.K. as she takes advantage of the cancer-stricken state of monarch husband King Charles — and no one in Britain’s royal household is safe from her reign of terror, sources say.

“Camilla is horrendously controlling of Charles. She often insists he stay in his room and raises merry hell if he tries to get up and assert his independence,” an insider confides. “Of course, her official excuse for this is that he needs rest and she’s doing it for his own good. But everyone knows it’s her way to control him and give herself a platform to assert herself when he’s not there.”

Camilla, who waited decades to marry Charles and wear a crown, took on more responsibilities when her ailing husband had to pare down his busy schedule because of his health. However, sources say the king’s former mistress turned queen now refuses to stop throwing her weight around — even as Charles claims his condition has improved.

“She charges around barking orders, tearing into anyone who doesn’t fall into line and generally causing chaos throughout the palace,” the insider explains. “Her drinking has always been an issue, but lately she’s been taking it up a level. Camilla is hitting the bottle hard and is usually three sheets to the wind by evening. Often, she’ll be knocking it back during the daytime as well. That’s when she tends to be at her most aggressive — overexerting herself and acting like a power-crazed tyrant.”

As Globe also reported, sources say Charles had brokered a deal with heir Prince William — allowing his oldest son to banish younger brother Prince Harry in exchange for allowing his beloved Camilla to maintain a life of lavish luxury and respect after his death. Yet, palace watchers say California-based Harry, 41, now appears to be on the verge of returning to the royal fold after having a reconciliatory tea with his father in September.

Insiders also believe that when William, 43, ascends to the throne, he would have no qualms about casting out his stepmother — whose decades-long affair with Charles contributed to the end of the king’s marriage to the princes’ late mother, Princess Diana — especially because of how Camilla humiliates his wife and future queen, Princess Kate, 44.

“Camilla isn’t afraid to put Kate in her place any chance she gets,” the insider notes. “The way she talks to her can be pretty brutal — looking down her nose and effectively treating her like a second-class commoner or menial servant.”

Meanwhile, sources say Camilla, 78, is keeping a close eye on her husband’s efforts to lure back Harry and his American wife, 44-year-old Meghan Markle, who ceased being working royals in 2020 and put down roots in Montecito, Calif., where they’re raising their children, Prince Archie, 6, and Princess Lilibet, 4. The insider maintains Camilla won’t forgive the Duke and Duchess of Sussex for their verbal attacks against the royal family and says she’s “working hard” to ensure “losers” Harry and Meghan are not allowed back to the U.K.

“She’s told Charles it’s a terrible idea and is chipping away to get him to rescind the invite,” the insider says. “If they do turn up, she’s vowing to make life as difficult and uncomfortable as possible while they’re in England. But in an ideal world she’ll just put a stop to it altogether. She emphatically believes Meghan and Harry are treacherous, twisted rats who have no place in the royal household.”

[From Yahoo]

As I said, all of this is 100% more believable than “Camilla minds her business, she doesn’t get between Charles and his sons.” We’ve seen, with our own eyes, Camilla shooing away Princess Kate in the middle of a state visit. We’ve seen Camilla pull rank on tiaras. We’ve seen Camilla leak all kinds of bullsh-t about Prince Harry and Meghan as well. Whenever there seems to be mixed messages coming from Buckingham Palace, I always wonder if that’s the product of undercover warfare between Team Camilla and Team Charles within the damn palace. And all of the stuff about her drinking too… *chef’s kiss*.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.