Two of Donald Trump’s favorite things came together last week — gold and sacrilege — and the poor president wasn’t even able to enjoy their unholy union in person, wah. The whole demented story began two years ago after the incident in Butler, Pennsylvania. Some crypto bros wanted to cheer up their MAGA idol/make money off a stupid scheme, and decided to kill those two birds with one stone statue. They commissioned artist Alan Cottrill to make a statue of Trump with his fist in the air, a pose he assumed that day in PA. Then the crypto bros, $PATRIOT, had a plot to use the image of the statue to sell bigly amounts of their coins, only a couple things went kerflooey: 1) Trump launched his own $TRUMP crypto coin which sucked up the targeted audience, and 2) the $PATRIOT guys didn’t tell Cottrill they were putting the statue image on their coin, an act Cottrill said violated his intellectual property rights. I’d that wager erecting a monolith of Trump is some kind of intellectual violation itself, but art is subjective.
Cottrill and $PATRIOT eventually worked out a settlement payment, and sometime between commissioning and resolving payment disputes, the crypto bros asked Cottrill to cover the ginormous bronze statue in, you guessed it, gold leaf. So the unveiling went down last Wednesday at Trump’s Miami golf course with the 15-foot statue plopped down on a seven-foot pedestal bringing the full monstrosity to 22-feet-tall. Trump’s friend, Pastor Mark Burns, was also involved in the statue planning, so naturally he presided over the unveiling. A man of God, celebrating a golden idol. The memes write themselves…
It says a lot about our current president that in response to the news that a giant gold statue of Donald Trump was dedicated this week, you have to ask, “Which one?” … Today, we’re focusing on a statue dubbed Don Colossus, which now sits outside the Trump National Doral Miami golf course. The statue, which depicts Trump with his fist raised, was commissioned by the $PATRIOT cryptocurrency group shortly after the Butler, Pennsylvania, assassination attempt. Artist Alan Cottrill finished it before Trump’s second inauguration, as the New York Times reported earlier this year. But then Don Colossus was held hostage in a payment dispute between Cottrill and the crypto bros. The disagreement was resolved this spring when an anonymous donor stepped in and paid the artist the remainder of what he said he was owed.
So in late April, the 15-foot statue was placed atop a seven-foot pedestal on the grounds of Trump’s Miami golf course. And on Wednesday, the statue was formally unveiled at a dedication ceremonyby Pastor Mark Burns, a friend of the president who helped orgazine the project.
At this point, you’re probably thinking, Uh, isn’t gathering to praise a giant golden statue textbook idolatry? I’m glad you (hypothetically) asked because this was actually one of the very first things Burns addressed in the captions to his Instagram posts on the event.
“Let me be clear: this is not a golden calf. We worship the Lord Jesus Christ and Him alone,” he wrote.
This is a real “My ‘Not a Golden Calf’ shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt,” situation. And Donald Trump seems to recognize this.
Eric Trump clarified back in February that $PATRIOT is not an official Trump-family meme coin.
Obviously, however, the Trumps do have an “association” of some kind with $PATRIOT, in that they allowed it to install a huge statue on the president’s golf course. The Times reported that Pastor Burns had been sending statue updates to Trump all along, and he claimed the president had planned to attend its unveiling. … Instead, he just called Burns during the ceremony.
Sure, Pastor Burns. Whatever you need to tell yourself. But if it waddles like a golden calf and brays like a golden calf… you get the idea. For those keeping count, this is at least the second Butler, PA-related work of “art” in Trump’s orbit, and what an ugly f–king piece it is. And this is the improved version! Sculptor Alan Cottrill told the NY Times that his patrons said the initial draft was too lifelike: “The crypto guys said I had to get rid of some of the turkey neck. I had to thin him down.” LOL! But the jokes on them, because A) it’s still hideous, and B) it still got nicknamed DON COLOSSUS! I know “colossus” is a statue term, but it’s just too on the nose for Trump. It’s like the way he thinks “Trump Derangement Syndrome” is a clever, unironic turn of phrase. Anyway, denizens of the southern part of the Sunshine State: protect your eyes! Between the glare and the ick, sunglasses are a must when coming within 100-feet of Don Colossus: A Monument to Trump Derangement Syndrome.
PS — Apparently The Boys predicted the gold statue on a recent episode?? Wild.
It’s literally God’s oldest rule not to do this. https://t.co/h9fqwVHRU4 pic.twitter.com/xgt5d9k0V9
— Stefan Smith (@TheStefanSmith) May 8, 2026
Like we can’t see the gold cow with our own eyes… I’m so tired of being horrified daily and I don’t even turn my tv on anymore and have limited myself to reading news 📰 only in the early morning.
Another Mooby the Golden Calf. Where are Bartelby and Loki when you need them. **Iykyn**
It looks like a combo of Mango and Elvis? Shouldn’t there be a Big Mac in his raised hand?
This is absolutely “golden calf/false gods” idolatry—what possible excuse can the right wing evangelicals give for this abomination?
At the very least, an “eat more chkn” sign since he’s the “calf” in this scenario. Bonus: maga loves them some Chick-fil-A.
Saddam Hussein’s statue looked like this. I should start making plans to travel to Florida to help pull this thing down once he finally kicks the bucket….
The grifting is everywhere with Trump. And ‘Pastor’ Burns is another grifter, so it’s not surprising he’ll do this to ingratiate himself to Trump. A pastor who asks for your money is not a real Christian, he’s not a man of God. “The God I believe in isn’t short of cash, mister.” – Bono
WOW. Sick.
And it continues to get more monstrous day by day.
You’ll never convince me that the events in Butler were legit. We’re supposed to believe that Capt. Bone Spurs, a notorious coward, somehow mustered the courage to stand up — amid a cluster of Secret Service agents, whose job it is to protect the president — to shake his fist after being shot at.
Sure Jan. Keep carrying water for White Supremacy see where it gets ya (the answer is in a concentration camp). You and many of the followers, once they outlive their usefulness, are going to a camp. The camps are for the citizens. Immigration was just the pretext to get them built. Don’t believe me? Your shadow president Stephen Miller himself stated he’d like the number of people in the US reduced to 100 million. There are currently 350 million people (50 million are immigrants, documented or not). That leaves 200 million at risk if that plan gets implemented. Now do the math how many Brown skinned people there are in the US citizen or not. Hint: it’s not 200 million.
So when White people voted to keep Black people in their right place and terrorize them, they actually unknowingly voted for their own extermination.
@ Side Eye, sadly I hear truth in what you’re saying.
It’s heartbreaking to say it. I have been sounding the alarm about this forever and been told I’m overreacting. All I do is take the regime’s own words at face value. They tell you what they’re gonna do before they do it. They don’t like the homeless. People on ADD meds. Austic people. The differently abled. Democrats. Women who are of no use to them and even women who are useful. The sick. The poor. Those in debt. Journalists. Civil rights attorneys. Judges who defy them by following the law. There are not enough immigrants to even put in those detention centers.
So who are they for? They are for the citizens they don’t like. That’s what all the data centers are for – to spy on Americans and gather information on who is and isn’t pro regime. Meanwhile those centers are causing droughts, sickness, and the air around them is not breathable. The water comes out of the faucet gray or brown. They are slowly poisoning you.
It’s going to get really really ugly over there. And sadly, they will declare martial law (and call it something else, or not call it anything at all) and US citizens will not be able to leave the country. Flights will be grounded. Chaos at the airports. Spring Break was the trial run of how that looks. They’re going to have military checkpoints to make sure people can’t leave by car. They want you trapped.
That’s why I have told everyone – research your ancestry. If there’s any place you can claim citizenship claim it and get a passport. Portugal even if you are not a citizen, makes immigration easy. Same for Thailand. If the midterms go the way I predict (rigged or not happening at all) it’s time to get out. It’s why people need to take the steps now to make sure they have options. Soon it will be impossible to leave.
I’m sorry to sound like a Debbie Downer but it’s really time for people, Black and Brown and LGTBQ and everyone named above especially – to start looking at their options. For the people who voted for this I don’t give a shit what happens to them – they should stay and deal with the shitstorm they caused. But for those who were vocal against it – it’s time to make decisions.
The paranoid people who left Germany, Poland, and nazi occupied territories survived. That’s what paranoia did for them.
totally NOT a cult….