I know, I know, twenty million things happened with our resident crackhead while I was eating lunch. I was watching CNN and I was all “Damn, I should be writing about this.” And then I continued to eat my ruffled potato chips. Well, we covered a lot of what was happening before Lindsay’s scheduled court date today – to review, might I suggest “Lindsay Lohan is like the Roman Polanski of crackhead fugitives”. Now, for the current information:
A judge just issued a bench warrant for Lindsay Lohan’s arrest, after she failed to show up in court this morning … and the judge says she has reason to believe Lindsay has a drug and alcohol problem.
Judge Marsha Revel was tough as nails this morning, scoffing at the notion that Lindsay’s “someone-stole-my-passport” excuse was a justification for missing court. Judge Revel set bail at $100,000 and said Lindsay can post bail and remain free until the next court hearing, IF she does the following:
- drink no alcohol
- wear a SCRAM bracelet
- submit to random drug testing at least once a week
Lohan’s lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, told the judge the story TMZ broke — that Lindsay claimed her passport was stolen and she tried getting on a flight to make it on time but was turned away. At one point Holley said, “I don’t know what else to tell you.”
But the judge didn’t buy Lindsay’s argument, saying “Actions speak louder than words.” The judge felt Lindsay could have gotten a replacement passport and made it back on time. And, the judge said Lindsay had “a history of not keeping scheduled appointments.”
Holley said there was no reason to require drug testing, but the judge noted that Lindsay was charged in 2007 with being under the influence of cocaine.
Judge Revel said Lindsay knew she was going to jail if she violated probation and knew she needed to get court approval before missing her alcohol ed classes. After the hearing Holley acknowledged what TMZ first told you … that Lindsay has only completed 10 of the required 13 classes.
The judge said there is probable cause to believe Lindsay has violated her probation. If the judge determines Lindsay did indeed violate probation she could be jailed for 180 days.
Yes, apparently no one is buying this “lost passport” story. The prosecutor is even asking for Lindsay to provide proof of a plane ticket – HA. Meanwhile, Lindsay was out parting again last night in Cannes, and Dina Lohan says Lindsay now has a temp passport. I wonder if she got it from the French embassy? Let’s see if Lindsay remains in Cannes, partying her crackface off. Oh, and Michael Lohan was there too, and his lawyer gave a press conference about Lindsay shouldn’t go to jail, she should go to rehab. Personally, I think jail would be an excellent rehab.
UPDATE: TMZ’s sources say that U.S. Customs and Border Protection will detain Lindsay as soon as she steps onto American soil. Either the LA Airport polic or the LAPD will be taking Lindsay into custody, if and when she flies back.
ALSO: Just in case anyone around here was keeping track of Lindsay’s crackhead lies, the French police say that she never reported the theft of her passport. Oh, and Lindsay gave an interview to Us Weekly saying that her dad arranged for someone to steal her passport. She wrote in an email to Us Weekly: “I always said my father had someone do it.” Because when you’re a crackhead, it’s always someone else’s fault.
Written by Kaiser
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