Kim Kardashian says her ass is due to junk food, not implants

Kim Kardashian would like to believe that the rest of the world is as obscenely dumb as she is. Luckily, that’s only true about half the time. Kim’s gotten a lot of heat for carrying around an ass that’s as big as her boobs. Truly, it’s a size generally not seen in nature. But Kim has religiously insisted that her ass as au natural. And exactly what expensive, exotic beauty potion did she use to grow such an ass? Apparently it’s Britney Spears’ favorite tonic: Cheetos and deep fried Oreo cookies. As a result, Kim – who is known to shun publicity and rarely talks to magazines unless it’s about really, really important stuff – took some time out of her demanding schedule to inform People magazine that she’s eating better from now on. No word on what her ass thinks of this plan.

“I figured just eating well would help me lose five pounds or so,” Kardashian, 27, tells PEOPLE, admitting that three months into the New Year, her diet isn’t getting any better. “It’s so hard to eat well because I love so many unhealthy foods. I just can’t stop eating junk. It’s awful!” Kardashian… lamented a disastrous trip to the International House of Pancakes earlier in the afternoon. “I decided not to have pancakes, because those aren’t good for me and I didn’t want the carbs. So what did I get? Chicken strips. I knew they were bad for me, but they were worth it.”

For now, Kardashian is relying on exercise to keep her figure. “I’ve got a personal trainer who keeps me active,” she says. “I work my butt and legs just about every day, and I do cardio to burn fat. I’ve actually started videotaping my workouts so I can do them on the road. I’m going to start selling the videos soon on my Web site so that others can do the same workout that I do. They’re short videos, but if you do them one right after the other, it’s a really good workout.”

[From People]

Boy whoever implied that Kim Kardashian was dull as a box of rocks (me) sure was wrong. If that girl’s smart enough to go to IHOP while supposedly trying to eat healthy – and substitutes the chicken strips for the pancakes – clearly she’s a hell of a lot smarter than we thought. And if she’s savvy enough to call People and tell them about it, the girl clearly knows something about sophisticated press coverage. But good to know her infamous ass – which looks like two globes locked in some kind of morbid embrace – is due to chicken strips and her religious but butt/leg workout. And not implants. Because Kim’s too smart to put silicone in her ass.

Here’s a few classic Kardashian ass shots, along with this most recent picture of Kim – while somehow not showing her ass, which defies the very laws of physics – it’s way too funny. Her expression tells me she’s just realized this light bulb is smarter than she is. Here’s Kim “doing a spot of shopping and pops into the Beverly Hills Nail Spa to get her nails done,” on March 26th. Head image thanks to Splash.

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23 Responses to “Kim Kardashian says her ass is due to junk food, not implants”

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  1. Megan says:

    What a stupid life she has… being famous for her ass. Not exactly a career, is it.

  2. Syko says:

    I can’t stand her. Vapid little twit who knows nothing, does nothing, understands nothing, and whose name would never have been known had her biological father not tried to help a murderer escape and her mom remarried an ex-Olympic athlete. Oh, and if she didn’t have that gargantuan ass.

    She may be trying to lose it, but notice she always manages to be ass-first in all her pictures. Nauseating.

  3. lola lola says:

    Yeah, how did she finagle a big ass + a sex tape into a tv show? I’ll never get it….and I don’t care how she got it..maybe its just swollen from being struck by lightening? oh who cares…

  4. headache says:

    Too bad she’s such a braindead skank. Girl really is quite gorgeous.

  5. Ling says:

    lola lola – people have had tv shows on a lot less.

    I believe her, about having the natural ass. She has a really classically beautiful figure, kind of reminding everyone why humankind was so obsessed with voluptuousness for so long, and how ridiculous our current obsession with boyish figures is so unnatural.

    Granted, she’s famous for the wrong reasons.

  6. StoatBoat says:

    I cannot STAND this piece of trash. Yes, she does have a beautiful shape, and her face is kinda pretty, despite the fact that she reminds me of a goat, but she is absolutely intolerable. I cannot imagine being such a stupid, vapid, worthless waste of oxygen. I doubt she’s ever read a book, voted, or done anything that could be considered selfless or intelligent. How does she stand herself? How does she have a TV show? I think I might go crazy if I find out that there are little girls out there that actually look up to this skank, and want to be just like her. Please tell me that nobody idolizes her…PLEASE! I already have a very low opinion of humanity, and this might be the thing that pushes me over the edge into full-blown misanthropy. Meh.

  7. Ur A Loser says:

    she’s beautiful but the thing is that her complete stupidity does’nt allow anyone to see past thru that. She should get her sh!% together as soon as possible & I completely agree… who the hell cares how she got it… its how can we get rid of her?

  8. James says:

    I don’t think Kim needs to lose a pound. I think she’s gorgeous.

  9. Rianna says:

    i agree… i adore her body shape. i think she looks very womanly and sexy! kim’s shape is a body shape i could aspire to be…
    alas, sucks her head is missing a vital component – her brain.

  10. Trashaddict says:

    Yawn.

  11. Dee says:

    How is a non GOD given shape called a beautiful shape as if it is natural. Just about anyone can purchase it sooooo…..the whole she has a beautiful surgically enhanced shaped is more like it. Breasts definitely bought, Her rump?????? I kinda think she had some wide hips and the making of such a rump but (ha ha) had some surgical assistance. Anyhow, she is going to spread like global warming when her metabolism slows down and she starts having babies. Too short to hide unless she buys lipo etc. though I am sure she does some cardio. Her beautiful face, with surgically sculpted nose (i think thats all she did to her face) is GOD given. All that Butt and all that silicone is going to start weighing her down. She is working it though…so milk it or butt it for as long as possible.

  12. WishyWashy says:

    This chick is fabulous! She still looks good regardless.

  13. Onani says:

    I can believe her derriere is natural – naturally fat that is.

    She is vacuous to be sure but who in their right mind would waste their money on surgery to acquire such a hugely misshapen rear end ?

  14. sam says:

    I LOVE HER

  15. me says:

    you guys talk sooooo much shit about how brainded she is and how fake her ass probobly is and how shes famous for all the worng reasons shut the fuck up!!!!!!!! go find something else to do with your time i think the only Fuking retards are you while shes making her money shaking that ass you broke ass TURDS are writting about how much u dislike her like if anyone gave a shit!!! SOunds to me like YOU guys are a bunch of faggots !!!!!!!!!!!!!

  16. kim says:

    omfg stfu yall hatin as* bitc*es n omg guess wat u skank ppl actually do look up to her …i do so myself yall are so full of it yall talkin bout her bein fake ….n yall fake yall ova here talkin shi* ….ugh fake brawds dis days …she aint an airhead either if yall actually took d time to look threw her lifestyle she’s actually rly chill n smart…..yae she may have not gten famous for d best reasons but shes gorgeous n god put all dat in her life for a reason so hop of her jock or should i say as*

  17. cristina says:

    Well I think she’s to fake no body is born with such a perfect body no matter how hard you exercise. I know she had some type of surgery around her. An ofcourse she aint gonna say it if she did that’s what made her famous.

  18. chris says:

    you girls are all just hatin!!!

  19. aline guido says:

    Everybody is jelousy here, surgery or not, she looks gourgeous. Why dont u girls does the same before sit the ass here for criticise something

  20. JZ says:

    Megan:
    March 31st, 2008 at 6:39 pm What a stupid life she has… being famous for her ass. Not exactly a career, is it.

    SERIOUSLY!?!?!?!
    a great career, she makes 100 times more than you do and works alot less hours per week.
    she will probably “work” 10-20 years and be retired filthy rich with a filthy rich guy. i’ll take it…even if it was because of my butt……haters

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  22. jackie says:

    Ok here’s the thing…THIS IS HOLLYWOOD ! I’m not hating on anybody. Here is what I know ! Kim Kardashian has pic of her when she was about 15 years old and her booty does NOT look like it does now ! The same with her sisters. She claims that it’s not implants …ITS HERS ! Hey…She’s right. Silicone or gel buttock implants like the one that COCO ( Ice T’s wife) or Nicki Manaj has are silicone placed under the muscle will still feel very soft and jiggle just like a normal butt would. People are under the impression that it would be hard like a breast implant 20 years ago. Technology has changed. Kim has a BRAZILIAN BUTT LIFT. They take her natural fat through liposuction and strain the fat into syringes an inject the natural fat under the but muscle. About 12 oz per side. The Surgeon then shapes the buttock to a roundness. She has to keep that up however. So does her sisters. So theoretically…It’s hers ! Lets just say ” She’s not born with it !” So dont say she has butt implants . That would show up on a x-ray . Say BRAZILIAN BUTT LIFT. She probably couldn’t respond to THAT . LOL !

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