'10
It’s weird how one little line of fuzz is the difference between “hot sexy rough fantasy with a delicious accent” and “ew, gross, 1970s budget porn star”. Such is Clive Owen’s fate. To be fair to him, this facial hair monstrosity is for a movie, The Killer Elite, which he is filming in Australia right now. The film also stars Jason Statham (yum) and Robert DeNiro (yum – yeah, I said it). Clive is playing “he will play the leader of a vigilante group fighting to protect the families of SAS agents…[Ed. Note: … with a porno mustache].” So Clive isn’t even the lead! Damn it. F-cking character work best supporting mustache bullsh-t.
And that’s about it. There’s no Clive Owen gossip kicking around. No scandals, no affairs, no hidden love children (thus far). He keeps his sh-t tight. The mustache is the only hint of scandal, and it’s only a scandal in my mind just because he’s so pretty and manly, and I hate that I feel nothing for him with pornstache. Would I still hit it? Would I ride that fug pornstache into the sunset? Eh. If the mustache was standing right in front of me, and I could hear It speak, and I could see Its beautiful green-hazel eyes, yes, I probably would ride the ‘stache. But I wouldn’t put my mouth on it.
F-ck, maybe I would. Damn it!
Clive Owen in Australia on June 15, 2010. Credit: Fame.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Clive Owen
- Brad Pitt & Jimmy Fallon yodel [Pajiba]
- Jennifer Love Hewitt got her baby daddy a job [Lainey]
- D-Listed's comments are back! [D-Listed]
- What is Eva Longoria wearing? [Go Fug Yourself]
- Real Housewives of OC recap [Reality Tea]
- A candidate for next Taylor Swift boyfriend [Buzzfeed]
- Vintage gossip: Ava Gardner [Evil Beet]
- Popular celebrity baby names [Popsugar]
- Emma Roberts looking scrawny [Popoholic]
- Bear gets right next to guy in tree! [CDAN]
- Melissa Joan Hart and Ryan Reynolds? [Celebslam]
- Mariah Carey poses in monokini [Starcasm]
i think we might need to stage an intervention for your taste in men
bradley witford’s new stache is the worst thing evah
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Four words: Yes, worst thing ever.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I’d have to see him without the sunglasses to make a final decision, but so far, that’s the nastiest choice he could have made. I hate goatees, but I’d rather he’d have done that.
Oh, Clive.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Oh please, mustache or no mustache, I still definitely would. Besides, 70s porn is hot!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
CTFU!
We are totally on the same page. My reaction was…is Clive filming a 70s porn biopic? Either that or he’s paying a pedofile. Either way, the ‘stache is undoubtedly nasty.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
WHY????
First the BP oil spill disaster now this?? Clive, now is not the time to experiment with facial hair. We have enough crises to deal with…
Report this comment as spam or abuse
nope. worst thing ever is brad’s billygoat beard.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Oh man, my image of him as the most scrumptious of ruggedly handsome men out there is forever overshadowed by that caterpillar on his upper lip. I WANT MY CLIVE BACK!!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Wow, it really is amazing how that little line of hair turns a hot freakin specimen of man into a cheesy-looking – hate to say it – loser!!!
I love you Clive! Please shave it off as soon as your done filming!!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
It appears to be a terrible decision but until I see him on screen moving and talking I can’t write him off yet.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
sunglasses make it worse.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
For Heaven’s sake, please don’t keep it for the promotional events!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Cue the shag carpeting and leopard print Speedos.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Also cue the 70s porn panelling.
Is it the worst thing ever? OY, yes.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
When I get done with the man, his mustache will be worn off
Report this comment as spam or abuse
nooooooooooo!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
something crawled onto his face and died. Sorry Clive, but I can only hope its for a movie…
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Don’t love it, but its *not* the worst thing ever. I still LOVE Clive, oh yes, yes I do.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Ayayay… did he just jump out of the Beastie Boys’ Sabotage video?
Report this comment as spam or abuse
looks even worse! yack! how in the world could he do that???
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Looks like a 70s porn star.
A GAY one! ROFL!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
i hate moustaches period. they so look like a third eyebrow. in a dumb place.
ew. glad this is/was just for a flick.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Gosh, I hate to say it, even with that ‘stache…he is the hottest man on the planet in my book. I know that may be a stretch for some of you…but when I see those yummy eyes, that tender smile and hear the edge in his voice, I think I might take a turn on the spin cycle and shout out his name!
Report this comment as spam or abuse