What if Russell Brand and Helen Mirren had a torrid affair?

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Seriously, how much would you love it? If Russell Brand, notorious womanizer and Shagger of the Year (for three years running, I believe), left little full-of-herself Katy Perry for a real Dame – Dame Helen Mirren? Helen and Russell are currently filming a remake of Arthur in New York, and yesterday they were shooting some scenes outside, thus, we have some lovely photos of Helen and Russell. If it follows the story of the original Dudley Moore film, Helen is playing Russell’s butler/maid person.

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Wouldn’t you love to know what they talk about? Helen is quite naughty and strange, you know. She loves to talk about sex and prostitution and being naked and all of it. And Russell – well, he just likes women. All women, all shapes and sizes and ages. Surely Russell sees that Helen is a vast improvement?

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Of course Helen is happily married to director Taylor Hackford. But wouldn’t it be interesting if the hot Hollywood scandalous affair gossip was between these two? I want it to happen, if only for the headlines and the thought of Russell boning Helen, which should be it’s own romantic comedy, honestly. I hope this remake has lots of jokes about how much Arthur wants to see Mirren’s vadge.

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Helen and Russell filming ‘Arthur’ on July 12, 2010. Credit: Bauer-Griffin, Fame & WENN.

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29 Responses to “What if Russell Brand and Helen Mirren had a torrid affair?”

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  1. denise says:

    Gross at the thought.

    Great googly moogly he is oogly. He has the hugest face. He should never be without a beard.

  2. irishserra says:

    How beautiful is Helen Mirren? Wow.

  3. Sarah says:

    I’m ticked they are remaking Arthur. Can’t they come up with any new ideas?

  4. denise says:

    @ Sarah

    No, they just keep recycling old movies, or making tv shows into movies. No more originality.

  5. gg says:

    Yiccccchhhhh. He washed his mop but he still looks like Tiny Tim. I think Helen probably has way better taste than that. She would probably say, ‘you’ve finally met somebody who definitely NOT bone you, mother*ucker.’

  6. Annie says:

    Love them both.

  7. Victoria says:

    @Sarah
    Im with you! I dont even want to watch a remake of Arthur! I refuse to believe there are no writers in NYC or HWood. What’s the problem? Are the producers lazy? Why remake after remake after remake? They’ve remade practically every movie.

  8. Yasmine says:

    Wow, can’t believe how fugly Russell Brand is without that stupid beard. Shouldn’t he change his hair cut maybe? He kinda looks and dresses the same for every role anyway.

  9. Victoria says:

    @gg

    OMG he does look like Tiny Tim! “tip toe through the tulips”

  10. spotchecker says:

    what Helen wants, Helen gets. team Helen.

  11. original kate says:

    the thought of anyone having a torrid affair with russell brand creeps me out. i’d rather see helen get with eddie izzard – i think he is very sexy. and then afterward they could go shopping for strappy sandals or whatever.

  12. Stephy85 says:

    I would definitely love for this to happen, haha.
    Too bad Mirren’s married 🙁

    Sidenote–I do NOT get the “ugly” comments….
    I would like to have a torrid affair with this man.
    I find him endlessly sexy.

  13. a says:

    there were some other photos yesterday…and while smiling the beardless r. brand looked like a young “tiny tim”.

    i still can’t get over it!

  14. ctkat says:

    I don’t doubt that on a down moment in filming, Russell has spent some time imagining the sex with Helen Mirren- I don’t even doubt that he’s upped his flirting game with her (she’s Dame Helen Mirren, after all- she deserves the A-Game).

  15. guesty says:

    label that “hook-up” gross & grosser…

  16. jessica says:

    Ugh.. he just grosses me out!! What is with her ankle in that header pic??

  17. Katija says:

    WHY, WHY, WHY are they remaking Arthur? With Russell f#$%ing Brand?

    I wish they would just stop butchering the classics. It’s a matter of time before we see a Dane Cook/Jessica Simpson remake of “Casablanca” – Now with more fart jokes!!!

  18. Tia C says:

    Haha, funny post. They are both “randy” people, you never know! 😉

    I so agree that there is absolutely NO reason to re-make Arthur! Nobody can do it like Dudley Moore, Sir John Gielgud and Liza Minnelli! Terrible, terrible idea.

  19. gg says:

    I would give him a little credit if he would only button up his shirt and cut his hair and stop loving himself so much – a little humility in a person goes a long, long way.

  20. CB Rawks says:

    Who is doing the highly important Liza Minnelli role? If they screw that up it will SUCK. No one else is right for it.

  21. Bodhi says:

    I think that would be hilarious & awesome! As would a Helen/ Eddie affair

  22. DetRiotgirl says:

    I find him so very unattractive. Katy Perry’s ego has been getting on my nerves lately. But, at least Katy is nice to look at! Looking at pictures of Russell Brand always makes my eyes feel like they need a bath afterwards. I will never understand how he gets so many girls.

    As for Helen, she could do better. If she has a torrid affair, it should be with somone equally amazing. I nominate Liam Neeson. However, I don’t think that would ever happen. Those two have too much class for that sort of thing.

  23. Crash2GO2 says:

    I can’t get over how gigantic and rectangular shaped his head is!

  24. Camille says:

    Bodhi: I agree! 😆

    I like seeing RB cleaned up, I think he looks good, but would have liked to see him with a different hair cut.

  25. gg says:

    Eddie Izzard is attractive mostly because he has a great personality and is sorta cute. Especially lately since he’s been a professional marathon runner! He blows me away – very inspirational. Go Eddie!

  26. Emily says:

    That would be hilariously awesome gossip if it happened! Especially after all the depressing Mel Gibson sh*t that keeps coming out. Personally, I’d leave Katy for Helen in an instant.

  27. Jacqueline says:

    Helen is a rare example of when beauty lasts, still captivates and doesnt impair her acting abilities. She is definately one fo the most beautiful women in the world and one of the greatest actresses of her time.

  28. emv says:

    He is NO Dudley Moore!

  29. Dr_Venkman says:

    @CB – regarding Liza’s role – according to MMDB it’s Greta Gerwig:
    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1950086/

    Never really heard of her…